The Forgotten Sister

by Caroline Bond

  Erin spoke first. ‘I thought I was helping Cassie, but it seems she doesn’t want my help.’ She made to leave.

  Cassie was angry with her, but she hated the thought of her leaving. ‘Erin!’ She couldn’t bear to lose both her sisters.

  Erin stopped at the door. ‘What?’

  ‘Don’t go!’

  ‘Why not? You obviously don’t need me, or trust me any more. I’m sick of lying for you. If you want to spend your time with someone like her, rather than with me, then go ahead. I’ve had enough.’

  Cassie brushed past Grace and grabbed hold of Erin’s arms. ‘I’m sorry. I don’t know what else I can tell you.’

  Erin’s chin lifted and, despite the tears, she said very clearly. ‘How about the truth?’

  Chapter 60

  THE SMELL of the kitchen was comforting. They sat together at the table. Tea, thick slices of toasted white bread, butter and blackcurrant jam. You can’t cry and eat. Tom and Grace hung back, letting the girls talk.

  Cassie took a small bite of toast and chewed it cautiously before she spoke. ‘She must have gone through my purse when I was asleep. I didn’t realise at first. She took my cards as well as the money – or he did. I cancelled them this morning.’ This to her parents. ‘I’m sorry, I should have done it sooner, but with everything that happened last night... I don’t know if they’ll have used them. I’m really sorry.’

  ‘She took Grandma’s ring as well, didn’t she?’ Erin asked. Cassie nodded miserably.

  There was so much that Tom and Grace didn’t know. Tom tentatively patted Cassie’s hand. She didn’t seem to notice, but it brought him a tiny shred of comfort.

  ‘The money, I can maybe understand, but not Nana’s ring.’

  ‘He?’ Tom asked.

  ‘Leah’s got this friend, more a boyfriend – he’s called Naz. Him and Leah have an odd relationship. I’d met him a couple of times before. He’s very confident, cocky. I thought he was okay.’

  The new, assertive version of Erin asked, ‘But he isn’t?’

  Cassie shook her head. ‘He came back to the flat with us yesterday. We had a drink. Not a lot. Not enough to make me feel as out of it as I did. I think he spiked mine with vodka. I felt really drunk, really quickly. I must have passed out.’

  Tom felt a wash of iced water sluice through him. Cassie had been alone and vulnerable, miles away in Oldham, while he had been wandering around worrying about his sodding lawn, oblivious. No, not even oblivious; actually relieved that his unsettling, combative eldest daughter wasn’t coming home.

  Cassie continued with her staccato retelling of events. ‘One minute I was sitting talking to him, the next I woke up feeling crap and he was gone – but Leah was there. I didn’t know what time it was or how long I’d been asleep. To start with, she was nice, normal, like she’d been earlier in the day. There was a dog that attacked us in the park.’ Grace bit her lip, her tea and toast forgotten. ‘Leah chased it off. She was really brave, actually. We talked afterwards – kinda made a breakthrough. Or I thought we had. Anyway, that doesn’t matter now. When I came round, she got me some water. She looked after me, was kind…but then she went really weird when I said I needed to ring home.’

  ‘Weird, how?’ Erin again.

  ‘She got mad, really irritated. She acted like me ringing you guys was somehow letting her down. She didn’t like it at all when I said I wanted to go home.’

  ‘Did she try and stop you?’ Tom asked.

  Cassie was struggling to tell them what had happened, because she wasn’t sure she was remembering it clearly herself. She certainly didn’t understand why it had gone so badly wrong, so quickly. ‘No, not really. I’m not sure what she wanted, really. But the mood in the flat changed. I saw the texts that she’d sent to Erin and Ryan. She didn’t like that, either. Then my phone got smashed. She wouldn’t let me use hers to ring you. She just sat in the corner, refusing to acknowledge that I was even there. It was like she’d disappeared inside herself. I just wanted to get out of there. I didn’t realise the money and the cards were gone until I got outside. That’s when I rang Ryan, from the shop.’

  ‘And you rang Erin?’ Grace asked, grieving all over again that, even at such a low point, Cassie had chosen to call her sister rather than her parents.

  Erin answered, without breaking eye contact with Cassie. ‘No, Ryan and me had been calling each other. I didn’t buy the text about staying at Freya’s. We’d both been trying to get in touch with Cassie, to check she was all right. I was worried; we both were. I made Ryan pick me up from the cinema. I really didn’t give him a choice. All he was trying to do was help.’ At this, Cassie nodded. Erin suddenly turned her attention to Tom. ‘You shouldn’t be mad at Ryan, Dad. It really was an accident. I think he panicked when he saw the police car. He’d never to do anything to hurt Cassie. He just wouldn’t.’

  As Erin was talking, Tom had a sudden very clear flashback to the day Ryan dropped Cassie off at the house – the tenderness he’d witnessed, the closeness between the two of them. How wrong he’d been all this time, thinking the threat to their family was Ryan, when all along it had been their own avoidance of the truth.

  ‘We can speak to the police about it, when you make your statements,’ Tom told them.

  ‘Do we have to?’ Cassie asked.

  ‘Yes. You both do. If nothing else, you have to let them know that Ryan was only doing as you’d asked. It sounds like you owe him that.’ Cassie nodded. ‘And you can tell them about the theft, and about this Naz character. He sounds dangerous.’

  ‘No,’ Cassie said firmly. The consequences, if she spoke about the money and the cards going missing, would be bad – the police at Leah’s door, invading her flat, searching her things, accusing her, provoking her. Who knew what might happen? She couldn’t bring herself to do it. Stupid as it seemed, she still wanted to protect Leah. And there was Naz. Cassie didn’t want to risk any retaliation from him. She simply wanted never to have to see him again.

  ‘But if she took your cards and the ring, that needs reporting,’ Tom said carefully.

  ‘Dad. No. Please. I want to leave it. Forget it ever happened. That any of it ever happened.’

  Tom and Grace didn’t need to weigh up the issue for long. The theft wasn’t their primary concern; getting Cassie back was. ‘Okay.’ Tom nodded. Cassie gave a small lopsided smile, which struck at Tom’s heart. But they weren’t out of the woods yet, the big question still hung over them – Leah.

  Again it was Erin who asked what they were all thinking. ‘What are you going to do now? Are you going to stay in touch with her?

  ‘No,’ Cassie said firmly.

  ‘No more seeing her?’ Erin asked.

  ‘No,’ Cassie said flatly.

  ‘So this is the end of it?’ Erin pressed.

  ‘Yes,’ Cassie said miserably.

  Tom and Grace sighed inwardly with relief. Erin smiled, and Cassie started to mourn.

  It didn’t take too much persuasion to get Cassie to go back up to her bedroom to rest. The showdown with her parents and her sister had exhausted her.

  She climbed the stairs slowly. Telling the truth had not made her feel lighter. What she felt was the opposite of relief – a new type of sadness weighed her down, one that was as tender and bruised as her face. She left her bedroom ajar, pulled off her jeans and slid under the covers, too worn out to bother getting properly undressed. She lay on her back. Her face was too sore to lie in her natural position, on her side. She could hear Grace and Erin talking in the room below. It was a reassuring sound. Her eyes drifted round the room. Little darts of lights were flashing around the walls and ceiling of her room, bright slivers of silver that swam and rippled like tiny fish. She looked round for the source of the reflections and found it in the old toy hippo that sat on her bedside table. Draped over its gappy-toothed mouth was her necklace, the one that had got broken during the awful fight with her dad at Flo’s party. It was fixed, untangled, whole again. Her dad? The
little filigree disc was spinning in the sunlight, casting reflections around the room. Cassie lay back and watched the light-show, until her eyelids grew heavy and she drifted asleep.

  She’s hot, sweaty and very uncomfortable, but there’s something about the place she’s in that is reassuring.

  It’s a box, with a lid, which is closed above her head. She could push it open, but she chooses not to. She’s on her knees. Through the gaps in the sides of the box she can see rows and rows of photos of people she thinks she knows. They pulse in and out, as if they’re alive and breathing. One mum, another and another; one sister and another. One dad and another. A never-ending whirl of faces, some smiling, some scowling.

  Her arms are full of hard, plastic animals. She scoops them up from the floor of the box, but each time she does, they disappear and reappear at her feet. She picks them up again, and they disappear again.

  The lid suddenly lifts, but instead of light, darkness fills the box.

  She is frightened.

  She tries to make herself as small as she can, tries to bury herself underneath the animals. Their hard little legs and snouts dig into her, their trunks and teeth bite her flesh. It hurts. They’re not good camouflage. Some part of her knows that the old trick of the blind not being seen doesn’t work, but she tries it anyway.

  Even with her eyes closed, she can sense the hoods bending low over the box. She feels their presence. There’s a meaty, nasty smell, a change in the air, a sense of threat.

  Hands reach into the box, searching for her. They grab at her. Bone and muscle connecting with her soft flesh. Relentless fingers and sharp nails.

  Then…there’s a different touch.

  Someone is lifting her up.

  Someone she trusts.

  Someone whose face she can’t see, but who makes her feel safe nonetheless.

  Chapter 61

  FOUR WEEKS later, Erin was home alone.

  It was a normal weekday afternoon. Her mum and dad were at work, and Cassie was staying late at college for a catch-up class. The brace had come off – for good – the week before, and her neck and shoulders were feeling much better; and you had to know where to look, to see Cassie’s scar. Ryan was still in his leg-cast, and would be for a good while longer, but he was up and hobbling about, and no longer a pariah within the family. Everyone was exactly where they should be, doing exactly what they should be doing, with who they should be. It made Erin feel good. She changed out of her school uniform into shorts and a T-shirt and went back downstairs to get a drink, before starting on her homework.

  Leah was standing in the kitchen.

  The shock made Erin drop the beaker she was holding. It smashed, sending shreds of sharpness skidding across the floor. Her first thought was ‘Run!’, but she couldn’t. She was barefoot, stranded in a sea of glass. Leah tilted her head to one side. A small, tight smile flickered across her lips as she realised Erin was trapped.

  Erin finally found her voice, though it was not the one she wanted. ‘How did you get in?’ Her words wobbled.

  Leah wandered casually round the kitchen island, as if she had every right to be there. She came as close as she could to Erin without standing on the glass. ‘You left the door open. Are you always that stupid?’

  Erin felt her face flush. ‘You need to leave.’ Even to her own ears, she sounded pathetic.

  Leah nodded slowly, as if giving the suggestion some actual thought, before pulling out one of the stools and climbing up onto it. A better vantage point. She stopped nodding. ‘Yeah, well, that’s not gonna happen.’ She turned towards Erin, crossed her legs and began swinging her foot back and forth, within centimetres of Erin’s body. ‘Erin, poor little Erin, you still don’t get it, do you? I don’t do what I’m told. Haven’t you worked that out yet?’ Leah pushed the toe of her trainer against Erin’s ribs. ‘I do whatever I want, and what I want at the moment is to talk to Cassie.’ Each word was accompanied by a jab of her foot.

  Erin hated being touched by her. She kept her head down and stood there like a little kid taking a kicking. It was humiliating. This was her home, her kitchen, her life, and yet Leah had simply walked in and taken control.

  Leah snapped her fingers in front of Erin’s face. ‘Erin! Erin! Anyone home? Is Cassie here?’ Erin said nothing, which was a mistake, because she saw the anger flare in Leah’s eyes. ‘Erin! Where is she?’

  ‘Out.’ Was she being brave…or stupid? Probably both.

  Leah’s tone changed, the mockery disappeared and was replaced by something more complex. ‘Stop pissing me about, Erin. I need to talk to Cassie. Where is she?’

  Erin’s ingrained hatred of Leah knitted together tightly enough for her to put up some resistance. ‘Like I said…she’s out.’ She saw a tiny change in Leah’s expression, a glimmer of desperation beneath the scowl. Perhaps she wasn’t as Teflon-coated as she pretended to be. It was enough to make Erin feel bolder. Who was Leah after all? A nobody, barely scraping by in life. She acted mean, but what did it amount to really, except a foul mouth and an inflated sense of her own importance. Erin wasn’t going to let her come between her and Cassie, not again. She lifted her chin. ‘She won’t talk to you. She doesn’t want anything to do with you – not any more. Not now she knows what you’re really like. You blew it. So, like I said, you need get out. Now!’

  Confusion and anger wrestled within Leah. It had taken a lot for her to come and speak to Cassie, more than Erin could ever know, and yet here was Erin telling her to fuck off. Erin was a mouse; timid, squeaky, as irritating as all fuck… she wasn’t supposed to have sharp teeth. Leah couldn’t get her head round the change in her. ‘You don’t fucking know what Cassie wants!’

  Erin actually smiled. ‘Yes, I do. We’re close. We always have been.’ It was a direct provocation. Leah flinched and Erin saw it. ‘And you’re never going to change that. Cassie talks to me, tells me things – her secrets, her feelings, what she really thinks about people, including you. That’s what sisters do. And right now, she hates you. She can’t stand the thought that she’s related to you. It makes her want to scrub her skin off. She wants to forget all about you, that you even exist. So why don’t you go and crawl back under whatever stone you came from and leave me and my family alone.’

  Leah was staggered by the vehemence of Erin’s outburst and – though she was loath to admit it – she was also scared that what Erin was saying was true: that Cassie hated her and wanted nothing to do with her.

  What happened next was a blur – a rush of air and swearing and anger.

  Leah leapt off her stool, determined to shut Erin’s flapping mouth. As she lunged, she caught sight of the chunk of glass sitting on the counter top. Instinct made her pick it up. A second later she cannoned into Erin, pushing her backwards. Erin staggered and cried out. They crashed into the wall, rebounded, then collided with a chair. Erin ended up sprawled in the chair, with Leah kneeling on top of her, shouting, ‘Shut up, you snotty little bitch. Shut the fuck up!’ Her hands gripped Erin’s shoulders like claws. ‘You’re not her sister. I am! Where is she? Tell me where she is, or so help me God…’ Erin’s neck hurt with each shake and there was a biting pain in her left shoulder, but she bravely kept her mouth shut. Leah’s tears of rage and frustration were her reward. ‘Where is she?’ Leah screamed.

  ‘I’m here,’ Cassie said. The shaking stopped. The room stilled. Cassie was standing in the kitchen. ‘Get off her. Now!’

  For a second, all movement ceased. They froze in their respective positions: the victim, the aggressor and the saviour. Then slowly – because what choice did she really have? – Leah did as instructed; she clambered off Erin as if dragging herself out of a deep hole.

  ‘Jesus, Leah, what have you done?’ Cassie said quietly. The room was a scene of carnage, dusted in glass and blood. They all watched as more drops seeped from the soles of Erin’s feet and a rose-red bloodstain bloomed and spread like a corsage across the left side of her T-shirt. Cassie’s shocked face swung bac
k towards Leah. ‘Get out!’

  Leah grabbed hold of a chair-back to steady herself. ‘Cassie, please?’ she pleaded. Erin looked up, taken aback by the change of tone. It was like someone else’s spirit had taken over Leah’s body – someone human and afraid. ‘Cassie, please, I just wanna talk to you. I need to talk to you.’

  But Cassie couldn’t hear Leah – didn’t want to any more – her focus was on Erin. Leah had hurt Erin. That was the end of it. Cassie walked across the debris, indifferent to the glass crunching under the soles of her shoes, towards her sister. ‘Are you all right?’ She crouched down in front of Erin, creating a barrier.

  ‘I’m okay.’ Erin was, now that Cassie was there.

  Cassie reached up and touched her sister’s hair and, without turning round, she said, ‘I told you to get out of our house.’ Flat, cold, hard syllables, leaving no room for uncertainty.

  Leah hesitated. ‘This wasn’t me.’ It was, but it wasn’t what she’d intended. She hid her hand behind her back. The lump of glass felt heavy and sharp against her palm. She hadn’t really meant to hurt Erin, not intentionally anyway; no, what she really wanted was to be Erin.

  Cassie stood up and faced Leah. ‘It never is your fault, is it, Leah? Nothing ever is. It’s always someone else’s.’

  ‘But it wasn’t…’

  Cassie put her hand up, warding off Leah’s words. ‘Shut up! Just shut up. I’ve had it with listening to you. You do nothing but lie, and steal and take, and hurt people. I don’t want to hear any more of it. Get out of this house – before I call the police.’

  ‘Cassie, please?’ In her desperation, Leah sounded like a child.

  But Cassie was stony-faced. ‘No. Enough! Shut up and leave. I don’t want to hear from you ever again. Never. Do you hear me? That’s it. You and me are finished. Get out.’

  Leah swayed slightly and seemed to be about to try again, but Cassie’s expression stopped her. She turned away, crossed the kitchen and went out through the back door. Cassie and Erin watched as she walked round the side of the house and out of sight.