by Bella Jewel
“Oh,” he says. “Is there a reason?”
I stare at him. Man would he do a runner if I told him the truth. He’d be out of his chair and out the front door before I even finished what I had to say. Couldn’t say I’d blame him, either. He seems like a nice guy, handsome, well put together, a little rugged. His blue eyes are the perfect fit for his light brown hair that’s messy and yet so well put together atop his head. He’s got no ink, and he’s seemingly clean shaven, except for maybe a few days growth trying to peek through.
Yeah, Archie is a handsome man. For sure.
“My last job had to put people off, so I’m just trying to find something else,” I lie.
“Oh, that’s a shame.”
“What about you?” I ask him, ordering another vodka.
This is my second one and I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon. What can I say? I need to numb this broken feeling in my heart if I’m going to get through the night.
“I’m currently in law, but I’m thinking of changing my career path.”
“Oh, why is that?” I ask, sipping the drink as soon as it arrives.
“I thought it was what I wanted, to fight for justice, but it turns out it isn’t. It’s all twisted and warped and nothing on what I thought it would be.”
I nod. “I can imagine. What are you going to do next?”
“I’m thinking of delving into the world of cars, I know it’s the polar opposite of law, but I’ve always had a thing for old cars and restoring them.”
“Go for it I say,” I tell him.
Three hours pass, and way too many drinks get thrown under the table, so to speak. Archie and I, we’re drunk. It feels utterly fantastic. After dinner, we both do a little dancing and then he offers to take me home. Of course, he can’t drive, so we do the walk back to Lucy’s apartment which isn’t too far from here.
When we arrive, no one is home. Stumbling through the door, I know I’ve had way too much to drink. It took me eight tries just to get the key in the lock. Then it takes me a further five minutes to find the light. I’m out of it, head spinning, body unable to be controlled. I walk in and fall back onto the sofa, Archie stumbles in and drops down next to me. He helps me into a sitting position, and we both laugh over some stupid joke he makes.
Then we’re kissing.
I don’t honestly know how it came about, all I know is that one minute we’re laughing, the next he’s leaning forward and kissing me, deep, hard, a little frantic. My mind is swimming, and hell, I can’t control my limbs. My mouth is sloppy, I know it, and I can’t focus. I do know, that I don’t want to do this. In a single second, I know that.
I pull back, even though Archie’s hands are now at the top of my dress, groping my breasts through the material.
“I can’t,” I slur, head spinning.
I need to lie down. I really do.
I lie back on the sofa, my whole world turning, and I feel Archie’s body come over top of mine. I push, but it’s futile. I’m drunk and as weak as a newborn right about now. I don’t even think I can keep my eyes open.
Archie’s hands are going up my dress, caressing my thigh, and he’s kissing my neck.
“No, we shouldn’t,” I slur.
“It’s okay, it’ll be fun.”
I think that’s what he says.
I don’t know.
I push at his hands again, but nothing. Nothing.
I’m weak.
Drunk, so drunk.
I just want to sleep.
I can’t stay awake. My whole world is swimming. I can feel his hands roaming my body, sliding around, I can feel his mouth, I can hear myself muttering that we shouldn’t, and him telling me we should, and his hands going to places they shouldn’t be going.
But my body betrays me.
It betrays me when I need it the most, because I’ve trashed it.
And in a second, I’m out.
Out.
Blackness covers me.
My body passes out.
I’m gone.
20
THEN – BRODY
“HE’S HURTING MY FAMILY!” Mick bellows, fists clenched, high as a kite on drugs. “He’s going after my mother!”
“You haven’t spoken to your mother in ten years, Mick!”
“He put her in the hospital, Brody. He’s sendin’ a message, don’t you fuckin’ see that. He wants me to know he’s goin’ to hurt everyone I care about until he gets me. He’ll never let me stop. He’ll never go away.”
“You need to calm the fuck down,” I growl. “Obviously I’ve missed somethin’ here, because I don’t think you’re tellin’ me the whole truth. Goin’ after your mom a thousand miles away don’t make any fuckin’ sense to me, Mick. You need to start talkin’, because it’s becomin’ clear walkin’ away from a fight isn’t the only thing you did.”
Fists clench, Mick growls, “Keep out of it.”
“You want me to keep out of it? No fuckin’ problem. You don’t think I don’t have a million better fuckin’ things to do, then to bail your ass out, once a-fuckin’-gain. I’ll leave. You want me gone, I’ll leave.”
Growling, Mick yells, “Fuck, I took his money and his drugs. It isn’t the manager of the club after me, it’s the guy I fought, Sniper.”
I blink, staring at him, surely hearing him wrong. “What the fuck did you just say?”
“I overheard them talkin’ before the fight, didn’t know I was there. They were in the locker room, him and another guy. Locked a bag in there, said he was goin’ to make the deal of a lifetime after it. Said he was sellin’ drugs, and somethin’ about cash. I knew he had a lot in there, knew it by the way he was twitchin’. He wanted out of the fight. He locked it up, and I took it. I smashed the locker open when I ran, and I took the bag. Had a fuckin’ lot of money in there, lot of drugs, too.”
“You’re kidding me, right?” I seethe, my voice a low hiss. “Tell me you’re fuckin’ joking right now.”
“I needed the cash.”
“You didn’t fuckin’ need the cash,” I roar. “Fuck, you didn’t fuckin’ need it, Mick. You could have taken any number of the offers to work we gave you.”
“I owed people money for drugs, it was a way out.”
“No, it was a way into fuckin’ hell. How the fuck did he know you took it?”
“Cameras.”
“Fuck me. How the fuck could you be so stupid? So not only did you fuckin’ lose money in a fight, you stole from one of the deadliest fighters in this industry. Did you honestly think you’d get away with it?”
“I wasn’t thinkin’ straight. You gotta help me, man. They’ll kill me. They’re sending threats. They’re going to hunt me down. They’ll never leave. Sniper will find me, even if the owner of the club doesn’t. He’ll do shit to me that you couldn’t even imagine in your worst nightmares. He’s never goin’ to stop. You have to do something.”
“What do you want from me, Mick?” I bark, fists clenched. “What the fuck do you want from me? I can’t do anymore for you except get you out of fuckin’ town so these fuckers don’t get hold of you.”
“They’ll find me,” he growls, fists clenched. “They’ll find me no matter where I run. You know that. I’m not stupid, I’ll never get far. Sniper is comin’ after me. He’s goin’ to make me pay for what I did. He wants my blood and he’ll get it. We need the money, a whole lot of fuckin’ money.”
“We don’t have that kind of money, was bad enough before when you fuckin’ pissed one person off, now you’re lookin’ at double the amount, and even then, they’re unlikely to let you go. You gotta know that.”
“You could find it,” he barks. “You could find a way. He’s dangerous. He’s already shown me how much.”
“No,” I growl, “no I fuckin’ can’t. It’s a lot of money that none of us has. You know we don’t have it. You got yourself into this mess, and I’m doin’ my fuckin’ best to get you out of it. I told you not to go down the road of fightin’ in that kind of
shit, but you didn’t listen. You went in and you pissed the wrong people off, not only that but you made even more stealin’ that bag. There are too many of them for me to deal with.”
“You got a big fuckin’ house, and a nice car, you could get me out of this if you wanted to.”
I stare at my friend, who is only two days out of the hospital and has been hiding from these people after him during that time. I want to help him, I really fucking do. But this is so much deeper than I first thought. He’s made a mess I’m not entirely sure I can clean up. I don’t even fucking know where to start. I also have my family to think of. He didn’t consider that. He didn’t consider any of this. Maybe they’re all right, maybe he is too far gone for me to help.
It’s safe to say, these men want blood and they’ll get it. One way or another.
I have hope that they don’t know where any of my family are, or that we’re involved, because thus far, nobody has been seen around Jack and Nancy’s house, which means we have a chance of actually getting him out of here and away from my family before they figure out we’re linked. The only way we’re going to do that, is to move him now. But he’s refusing to go. Refusing to leave. Refusing to do anything at all.
“You want me to sell my house, rip it out from underneath my woman, because you fucked up?” I snarl.
“We’re in this together, Brody,” he snaps. “You swore it.”
“I’ve tried to help you,” I roar, losing it. I can’t take anymore. “I’ve told you to get fuckin’ help, I’ve had your bad, I’ve dragged you out of the fuckin’ depths but I’m not givin’ up my entire life because you made a huge fuckin’ mistake.”
“They’ll find me,” he bellows. “They’ll kill me. I’m scared. I’m fuckin’ scared. I can’t think. I can’t get away from this. You’re the only one who get help me.”
“They won’t find you if you get out now. You can run, you can get a new identity, and you can start again. That is your option. This Sniper guy, he’s going to find you if you stay here, but he won’t if you leave.”
“What a load of crap!” he laughs bitterly, his battered face scrunching up. “It’ll never happen. He’s going to hunt me down like a dog, and he’s going to shoot me like one. He’s dangerous, and he’s going to come after me, and you’re not doing a damned thing to help me.”
“No matter what I offer, you refuse to fuckin’ try. You want to sink, Mick. It’s clear. You don’t want help. I’ve nearly lost everything trying to get it for you, but no longer. I’m done. If you don’t want to leave town, then you can face what’s comin’ for you, because you put yourself in this mess.”
He looks at me, pained eyes, and rasps, “You promised me you’d get me through this. You swore it.”
“I’ve tried,” I say, holding his eyes. “I’ve fuckin’ tried. You won’t let me help, and there is nothin’ more I can do for you, if you’re not in it with me.”
“You don’t know what it’s like to be me,” he tells me, his voice broken, and it fucking kills me. It kills. “To live through this fucking nightmare. I can’t think. I can’t breathe. I’m drownin’. I don’t know how to swim anymore, Brody. I can’t fix this, no matter how hard I try. I’m scared. I’m fuckin’ broken. I can’t get it together. My life is fuckin’ over. I have nothin’ left. Nothin’.”
“You do. You have plenty. You’re refusin’ to try and fight for it. You think it’s goin’ to come to you easy, Mick? It isn’t. You want out of this mess? Then start fixin’ it. You can, you can fix it, you just don’t want to. I said I’d pay for you to get help, we’ve offered you jobs and a place to live. You refused it all. You took the dangerous road, and risked us all, yet I’m still fuckin’ standing here. I can’t give you any more.”
I grab my phone and my keys and start toward the door, but I stop when I reach it. “You’re my best friend, Mick. You’re important to me. I’ve done everything I can to clean up the mess you’ve made, but the truth is, you don’t want my help. You’re holdin’ my guilt over my head, you’re usin’ me because you know you can, because you know how I feel about this, but it’s not fair. I’m a fuckin’ human being too, and I have a family I’ve very nearly lost over this. If you want my help, I’ll give it, but I will not fuckin’ risk my life, or my family’s lives, doin’ it. You want out, I’ll get you out. The choice is yours.”
“Brody,” he calls as my hand curls around the door handle. “Brody, don’t walk out. Don’t. You don’t understand. He’ll come for me. I’m not safe. He’ll kill me. Do you hear me? He’ll kill me!”
He’s screaming now, and it kills me, it rips me apart inside.
But there is nothing more I can do.
Mick doesn’t want help. He doesn’t want my options. He wants me to sell everything and get him out of this, but in the end he’ll only get back into it again anyway. This man that’s after him, he’s bigger than me, bigger than anything I’ve dealt with. Running is the only option I can think of for him. The only one.
He’s dug himself so damned deep, I don’t know that he is able to get out.
“Don’t go!” he bellows as I step out and close the door behind me. “You’ll regret it if you do! You will! Fuck you, Brody. Fuck you. Fuck you.”
Little do I know, it’s the last time I’ll see my best friend again.
Little do I know, that it’ll ruin my life forever.
The guilt will eat at me.
The pain will destroy me.
And I’ll lose everything I ever loved.
Everything.
21
THEN – MELANIE
“WHAT’S GOING ON?” I ask, rushing toward the house where ambulances and police are swarming.
Jack and Nancy aren’t home; as far as I know it’s just Brody, Blade, Lee and Mick staying here, trying to figure out their next moves. I haven’t seen Brody since yesterday, but I know he thought they were safe in that house for a few more days, until they could get Mick out of town. Were they wrong? Are they not safe? Did someone find them? Oh, god.
I run towards the officers who are standing by the door with Blade and Lee. They both turn when they see me, none of them heard my earlier calls demanding to know what happened. Where’s Brody? My stomach twists and clenches, and I feel like I’m going to lose my mind if I don’t find out what the hell happened soon. Is Brody okay? Where is he? God, where is he?
“Melanie,” Lee says, putting his hands on my shoulders.
“What’s going on, Lee? Where’s Brody? Where is he?”
“He’s inside.”
“Is he okay? Someone tell me what’s going on here,” I cry, frantic.
Lee shakes me a little, grabbing my attention. “Take a deep breath. Brody is okay, he’s alive. Mentally, though, honey ... it’s bad.”
What is he talking about?
I don’t understand.
“Lee, I don’t know what you’re talking about but you need to let me inside that house right now ...”
“Mick killed himself, Melanie,” Blade says, his voice empty and broken. There is nothing there. He’s in some sort of shock, I can see it in his face. “He shot himself in my parents’ bathroom. He left Brody a note.”
No.
No.
This is like a god damned nightmare. A nightmare of the purest form.
It can’t be happening.
It can’t be.
There must be some mistake. No. There has to be an error.
“What?” I whisper, my hands starting a slow tremble, from the palm outward.
My knees follow.
“He shot himself in the fucking head in my parents’ bathroom, but not until he left Brody a note makin’ his whole fuckin’ world crumble. Worst of it, Brody found him.”
No.
Oh, god.
“I need to get inside,” I say, frantically shoving past the officers who are standing at the door.
One of them grabs me and hauls me backward. “We can’t allow you in there, ma’am.”
&nb
sp; “Please,” I cry out, “my boyfriend is in there, he needs me. Please.”
“We can’t let you in, I’m sorry.”
Blade reaches for me, grabbing my shoulders and pulling me backward. “You don’t want to see that, Melanie. Trust me. You’re better off out here.”
“He needs me.”
“He’ll be out soon, they’re questioning him. You should go while they bring the body out.”
Oh, god.
“No, I won’t leave. I will not leave him.”
Lee reaches out, gripping my hand tightly. “I’ve got you.”
We stand, in shock and completely broken as the officers finish up and then the ambulance crew bring the body out. It’s covered, thankfully, but seeing that bag, seeing the way they slide it into the vehicle, makes my stomach lurch. There is a clean-up team being sent in, I overheard them talking. Who gets the horrendous job of cleaning that up?
I’ve stared up at the window to that bathroom more than once, and I swear I even saw droplets of blood on the window, but I know my mind is playing tricks on me. It’s creating a scene in my head that I’ll never be able to unsee. A graphic, brutal, horrendous scene. I’m the lucky one, though. Brody has that scene in his head. He’ll never be able to unsee it. Never. For the rest of his days.
What did that note say?
I need to get inside this house.
“You can go in to see Broderick, now,” the officer says once the ambulance has left, “However the bathroom is still a crime scene. You’re not able to go anywhere near it. He’s in the living area. We’re finished talking with him.”
Lee goes to rush in, but I grab his arm and he stops, looking at me. “Please, let me go alone. Please, Lee.”
He looks pained, no doubt wanting to get to his brother, but instead he nods and whispers, “He’s going to be in a bad way, honey. Be prepared.”
I nod, and then I walk into the house.
The moment I step inside, I can feel the change. Gone is the warm, family home that I’ve spent so many years in now. Instead, it feels cold, and laced with broken torture and pain. Mick not only took his life, he took the lives of everyone he touched. Brody. This home. Nothing will ever be the same again.
