by K. K. Allen
“Inspiring.”
She nodded. “I was going to say ‘freeing,’ but ‘inspiring’ works too. Do you have more songs like that one?”
I sneaked a look at her, getting a rise out of her nerves. “No, they’re all different.”
She smacked me on the arm and laughed. “Jerk. So there are more?”
I nodded. “Yeah, there are.” I hesitated for a second then decided, What the fuck. “There are about a dozen of them so far, and I’m still working on more.”
Her eyes snapped to mine, and I knew she’d picked up on what I was getting at. “That’s more than an album.”
“Not all songs make it onto a final album, but that’s not what I’m writing these for.”
“So, they’re like an entire Broadway show’s worth?”
I shrugged. “We’ll see if it all comes together, but that was the idea.” I held up a finger in warning. “No one knows, and I’d like to keep it that way. Angst and Grace is my priority right now.”
Something about her expression softened, and determination poured from her eyes. “You can trust me, Sebastian.”
I knew that. It was why I felt okay telling her.
“So can I help?”
I let out a laugh, and my eyes met hers. “Help? How would you help?”
Her face flushed, and I knew it wasn’t from the jog. We’d barely gone a quarter mile.
“I don’t know,” she said. “You play the songs, and I can dance. We could inspire each other. Or maybe that’s dumb.” She faced forward, her smile completely gone, now replaced with embarrassment.
I looked at Kai to respond, but just as I was about to open my mouth, her expression changed into complete and utter horror.
My head snapped in the direction she was looking. “Oh, fuck,” I said, realizing far too late where we were.
We had rounded the next turn toward the bow of the ship, where the jogging trail wrapped the aqua theater to our left, and to the right was a full view of the ocean. No yellow tender boats were there to shield Kai from the sight of the water, no city streets. If I didn’t know better, even I would think we were somewhere in the middle of the Pacific.
She plastered herself against the wall of the ship, her eyes wide and still glued to the crystal-blue water.
“I just need a minute,” she said before slamming her eyes closed.
“Hey,” I said gently, my heart beating down the walls of my chest. I stepped closer to her, blocking her view.
She peeled her eyes open and stared up into my eyes. The only thing sweeter than the sound of a piano was the pure honey of her eyes.
I cupped her face in a palm to give her something to focus on beside the water lurking over my shoulder. She inhaled then let out a deep breath that shuddered against her pink lips.
“You’re okay.” I swallowed, having meant to comfort her with the words though they were only doing the opposite for me. I shouldn’t have been touching Kai like that—not with the way the simple touch made my chest quiver.
She took another breath and started to turn her eyes away. I turned her chin back to me. “Focus on me.”
Her eyes darted between mine. “Okay, but—” Her tiny voice quivered with the wind, but I could make out each syllable without fail. “Say something. Do something.” Then her gaze dropped to my lips.
I couldn’t stand it. Her eyes, though still carrying fear, were also wild with hunger. I hoped that hunger was for me. Because, fuck, I couldn’t stop wondering if her lips felt as soft as they looked. Lips that were dark pink and glistening from a sweep of her tongue not a second earlier. Lips that were shaped like a bow—on a present I was more than ready to unwrap.
“Distract me, Sebastian.”
Then a small hand moved to my waist, gripped it, and pulled me closer. The desperation in her eyes sparked and flamed like the proximity was igniting us, and I wouldn’t argue against it. I’d wanted her since the moment my eyes locked on her fiery ones on Gravity’s curb. But to have her here, in my arms, practically begging me to kiss her…
I couldn’t turn her down.
Chapter 23
Kai
My breathing still hadn’t returned to normal. In fact, Sebastian’s proximity might have been making it worse. His middle was crushed against mine, due to my grip on his waist. And his mouth was only inches away from stealing the kiss I so desperately wanted. I practically begged for it.
“You’re a real beaut when you’re vulnerable like this.”
I swallowed against the breath ricocheting in my chest. “You think I’m a beaut?”
His lips tugged up at the corners, and his eyes fell to my lips as he nodded. “I do.” His eyes flicked to mine, pinning me in a way that made my heart zing to life. “But you know that already, don’t you?”
I swallowed. “Actually, I didn’t. You’re kind of hard to read.”
His smile broadened. “Does that bother you?”
Ugh. I hated him. Okay, so I didn’t hate him. I hated the fact that I didn’t hate him, and that was worse.
Damn it. “A little.”
His eyes flashed with excitement. “Good.”
All this talking. All this shared space. What was he waiting for?
“Why aren’t you distracting me yet?” I said it like I had all the confidence in the world. But I couldn’t think of a better time to do something as reckless as make out with Sebastian Chase. He was the only thing in the way of my panic resurfacing again. He was literally standing between me and my fear. I wanted to thank him, and by the bruise forming on my pelvis from his arousal, he wanted that too.
He didn’t have to think about my request for a second. He closed the distance as I pulled in a gasp, and his lips met mine in a metaphorical handshake, a mutual understanding. Sebastian didn’t need to state his terms to me. He was a free spirit, a free—nontrusting—spirit who would never be tamed. The irony of me asking him to distract me was far too obvious since I was the one distracting him in the grand scheme of things.
One kiss. Two. Then his lips wrapped firmly around my bottom one and pulled it between his teeth. Not much space had been between us to start with, but second by second, all the remaining fractures were fusing to become one. My arms wrapped his waist and held him against me while his hands found my hips and pulled them into his. He hummed against my mouth before parting my lips with his, then his tongue invaded the space, wasting no time to find mine.
We kissed like two high schoolers who’d just sneaked under the bleachers during fourth quarter at a football game. Anticipating that annoying buzzer that we knew would eventually ring through the air, ending something we’d only just started. Clinging to every part of each other we could get a good grip on. Exploring our boundaries. Moaning like we were seconds away from tearing off our clothes and doing it right here overlooking the Pacific.
Fuck. The Pacific.
My head jerked back as reality flooded my mind. We weren’t two kids sneaking around at a high-school football game. We were two adults, at work, and the ocean was mere feet away from where I was standing.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” He searched my eyes and tried to close the distance again.
I shook my head and held my palm to his chest. “You broke our pact.”
His faced twisted. “What? You were begging me to kiss you. If anyone broke our pact, it was you.”
I let out an incredulous laugh. “But you kissed me first.”
“You asked me to.”
“I asked you to distract me. Totally not the same thing.”
His brows furrowed. “Let’s just call it a tie.” He pressed his lips against mine again, making me moan deep in my throat.
Pushing him back again, I glared. “Fine, it’s a tie. But we shouldn’t do this.”
He quirked his brow. “We can do whatever we want. This is my show. My rules. And if I want to kiss the lead of my show, then I will.”
My face burned. “Right. And then everyone talks about how I climbed my way to t
he top.”
He shrugged, that cocky look lighting up his eyes. “I’d settle for you on the bottom if that makes you feel better.”
I let out a laugh, unable to help that I liked how ridiculous he was. “I’m not your type, remember? I wouldn’t want you to stoop so low out of what—desperation, pity?”
He moved in, grazing my cheek with his lips until he reached my ear. “Want to know a secret?”
The hum of his words caused a flood of warmth through my body.
“I don’t have a type. And right now, the only desperation I feel is the need to fuck you against that balcony over there, but I know you’re not ready for that.”
I swallowed as a mixture of fear and excitement swirled through me at his words. “Not going to happen,” I rasped.
He was still at my ear when he chuckled. “Not yet. We’ll work up to it.”
“You’re crazy.”
His nose drifted against my cheek until he was looking right back at me, so close I could smell the mint from his toothpaste. “Now it’s you underestimating me.” He shook his head, his eyes dropping to my lips. “I convinced you to get on this ship, didn’t I?” He grinned.
The sound of feet hitting the deck caused both our heads to turn toward the track. A pair of crew members I didn’t recognize were jogging past us without a single glance.
When Sebastian turned back to me, I glared. “There is no way in hell you will ever get me naked out here where anyone can walk by. Not all fantasies are meant to come true.”
He chuckled again. “We’ll see, but I’ll drop it for now.” He brushed a thumb against my cheek. “You still owe me another four and a half miles. You up for it?”
Just like that, a renewed confidence filled me. I looked over his shoulder again, this time toward where the ocean met the dock. A rush of adrenaline came over me from knowing I’d already overcome so much.
I nodded. “Let’s do it.”
Chapter 24
Sebastian
Falling for Kai Ashley had never been part of my grand plan. I’d been determined to be the distraction she needed in order to overcome the memories that haunted her, but in the blink of an eye, she’d become mine.
After our run, I walked Kai back to her room so that she could get ready for rehearsals. I reached for her waist, her exposed skin still glistening from our workout. “Wait,” I told her before she stepped through the door. “Have dinner with me tonight.”
She contemplated her response. “I always eat with the crew.” After an instantaneous sinking feeling filled me, her eyes lit up. “But what about dessert?”
My smile was blooming, and I had no hope of stopping it. “If you insist.”
Her face darkened in color. “Don’t get too excited. That wasn’t a euphemism. There are frozen-yogurt machines all over the ship. We can grab some later tonight and maybe go exploring again? You know, before the passengers take over.”
“Deal.”
She closed the door, but not before I could see the smile on her face. I loved that I was the one who’d put it there.
After I dressed and made my way upstairs to the theater, Jimmy locked eyes on me and rushed forward. That’s when I noticed the phone to his ear. From his expression alone, I knew exactly who he was talking to.
“It’s Dirk. He wants to have a word. I’m going to get rehearsals started.” Jimmy handed his phone over with a roll of his eyes, and my insides instantly boiled.
“’Sup,” I said, deciding shorter was sweeter when it came to Dirk.
“Jimmy’s been giving me a rundown of rehearsals. How’s your girl doing? Kai, was it?”
My girl. If he had any idea… My insides were bubbling lava at the thought of him catching wind of what had happened this morning. No, he could never find out. Dirk would find a way to use it against me somehow.
“Why didn’t you ask your director? I just play the piano.” I prayed my nonchalance would throw him off my scent.
“Yeah, well, if you cared about this show half as much as you claim you do, then you would care about how your lead dancer was holding up.”
I glared at the wall in front of me, hoping to all hell Dirk never made it back to the ship. If he did, I couldn’t trust myself to hold it together. “When are you going to learn to stay in your lane? Jimmy and Deb have a handle on the dancers. You can trust them. I’ll focus on what I do best. The show will be fine.”
“We’ll see about that. I’ll be there in a couple of weeks, and I’ll be the judge.”
I ground my teeth together as I pinched back another retort. That was one of the reasons Dirk so easily triggered my last nerve. He just couldn’t let anything be, always feeling the need to throw his weight around and act like he had veto power over me. He had another thing coming.
“Right,” I said, ending the conversation. It wouldn’t have gone anywhere productive anytime soon. “Later.”
I tapped the phone to end the call, walked into the theater, and tossed the phone to Jimmy with a terse smile. “Ready to go?”
He let out an exasperated sigh—even he was tired of Dirk—and clapped his hands for everyone in the theater to hear. “Places, everyone. Let’s start from the top.”
My gaze met Kai’s as I crossed the stage to a staircase. The production crew appeared to have been busy earlier that morning. My piano was now on the upper platform, along with the rest of the band. From there, I could see over the front half of the stage floor and the entire theater. I had the best seat in the house.
Throughout rehearsals, as much as I tried not to, I couldn’t stop thinking about Dirk and his threats and the fact that he believed them with such conviction. It wasn’t enough for him to take half of my show and fuck my fiancée. He wanted it all, and the more I thought about it, I worried that, if he knew I had any sort of friendship with Kai, he would want her too.
Afterward, I skipped dinner, too wound up to eat, and went straight for the drinks. I plopped down on a stool in the crew bar and ordered the first thing that came to mind. The bartender placed the shot of Jäger beside the glass of Red Bull and swiped my staff card.
As I dropped the shot into the glass and downed it, I dreamed of the moment I would say goodbye to Angst and Grace once and for all. The end couldn’t come quickly enough. The new songs I’d been working on were scrambling around in my brain. Eventually, I might be able to string together an actual storyline.
Then an image of Kai dancing in the empty theater invaded my mind like a lightning storm, illuminating my muse as she drowned me with her beauty, her talent, her strength.
My heart beat faster. The spark was lit. Two drinks later, I couldn’t turn off my mind. It was working faster than I could catch up with, and I knew I had to chase it. I pushed my empty glass toward the small pile I’d started and reached over the bar to grab the bottle of Jäger. I was going to need it.
I threw down more than enough cash, gathered my sheet music, and then I tore through the hallway and down the stairs to my room.
After locking my door behind myself, I squeezed my eyes shut and took a few moments to catch my breath. With the way my fingers were yearning for a piano, I knew the adrenaline wouldn’t let up until I released it.
I uncovered my keyboard, powered it on, settled into my chair… and started to compose.
Chapter 25
Kai
My frozen yogurt was melting just in time for reality to set in.
He wasn’t coming.
I couldn’t believe I was foolish enough to believe that Sebastian Chase actually wanted to meet me for dessert. I would laugh if I wasn’t so completely disappointed in myself for letting my guard down.
After tossing my soggy cone in the trash and stopping at the restroom to wash off my sticky-sweet hands, I marched down to the third deck and pounded on Sebastian’s door. He wasn’t getting away with standing me up without an explanation.
My fist pounded dead air when the door swung open to reveal Sebastian in a pair of bright-blue boxer brief
s and nothing else. I dropped my hand and punctuated my glare with small shake of my head, all while trying to mask the excitement compounding in my chest at the sight of him—all of him.
He seemed to be checking me out the same way.
“Hi, Kai,” he said with a chuckle. “That rhymes.”
My jaw dropped at the sound of his words running together. “You’re drunk.”
He peered over his shoulder toward his desk, where a large keyboard was sitting with a half-gone fifth of Jäger.
When his eyes dragged back over to mine, his lip curled up into a smirk. “I s’pose I am. Care to join me?” He widened the entry into his cabin.
Blowing out a flustered breath, I decided not to attempt a confrontation—not when he was intoxicated to the point of slurring. And definitely not when he was dressed like that. An angry fight combined with a nearly naked Sebastian would most likely end up with me just as naked, and the only resolution I’d end up with would be the ache between my thighs.
Before I did anything I would regret, I backed away from his door and shook my head. “No, Sebastian. I’m going to bed.”
I pulled my key card out in record time and held it against the sensor on my door.
“Kai, wait.”
I turned as he approached and pressed an arm against the frame at the top of my door.
Then we both heard it—the click of his door as it shut behind him, and our eyes went wide with a mutual thought. He didn’t have his key on him.
“Fucking shit,” he said, looking back at his door. Then he turned back to me with his eyes narrowed. “Well, aren’t you going to invite me in?”
I shook at the accusatory tone. “No, I’m not.” I pointed down the hall. “There’s a community phone near the elevator. Someone will let you into your room.”
