“They aren’t important.” He swung his arm back at them with an angry face.
“Excuse me?” Anger built inside me as I listened to him. Who was this person?
“I just meant they don’t need to come. Just you and I do.” He kicked his horse and sped up again.
My anger got the best of me and I kicked my horse as well. Without a second thought, I jumped from my horse to his and knocked him to the ground. Both of our horses took off running in the other direction, spooked by my unexpected tackle.
“Are you crazy?” Beru scrambled to his feet and readied himself for another attack.
“I was hoping another knock to the head would bring back your common sense.” I walked a half circle around him, uncertain what I would do next but knowing something needed to change and quickly.
“How are we going to get there now without horses?” He ran out to the trail to see if he could catch either horse, but they were long gone.
The carriage was coming down the trail, and I didn’t think the others would have seen what had happened because they were too far back.
“Now what do we do?” Beru began to walk back to meet the carriage. “You’re crazy. You know that?”
“I’m not the only crazy person here,” I shouted.
It wasn’t long till we were all together again. Beru told them what happened, and no one questioned him, looking to me for answers. I just confirmed he was right. I had knocked him off his horse because he wasn’t slowing down and needed to be taken down a notch. He was unhinged.
Beru and I took a turn in the back of the carriage, sitting as far away from each other as we could. How could we have gone from that amazing kiss to this on the same day? We rode for miles before Beru got up and unexpectedly sat next to me.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I haven’t any patience lately.” He hung his head down like a child who was forced to apologize against their will.
“I don’t know either. But I’ll forgive it if you stop acting like this.”
Beru nodded his head. “I know where we should go.” He perked up.
“Where?” I hoped he would give more details this time. Maybe he remembered more.
“South. We need to go south.” He acted like he’d never told me that before.
“I know. You already told us. That's where we are heading.” I pointed in the direction and wondered if he was trying to put me off to feel sorry for him.
“Right. My memory isn't what it used to be. I forget things. But I know we need to go south.” Beru looked up at me, and his eyes were red and tearful now.
If Beru couldn’t remember things, what would be waiting for us in the south? Was it a trap?
Chapter 11
“I don’t know!” Beru yelled abruptly before storming away.
We had stopped for the day and were setting up our camp for the night when I decided to question Beru on his memory loss. I wanted to know how long it had been going on but I hadn’t expected him to become enraged at my question.
I remained seated by the fire to feed it the wood Iri had brought to me. Beru walked past the two giants and went into the woods. I debated with myself whether I should follow him, but I may drive him farther into the woods. He’d come back when he was ready. I’d give him time to cool down. I watched him leave with a mixture of confusion and regret. Where was the man I’d fallen for, and who was this man who’d replaced him?
“Mr. Moody just passed us.” Sade dropped more wood in the pile. “What’s his deal, anyway?”
“He told me he has memory loss. I think maybe it’s what is angering him.” I focused on my task, not wanting to get too involved in a conversation in case he returned.
“You’d think it would be the opposite. That he’d want to forget.” She sat down next to me and began prepping food for supper.
She had a good point, but he was an alpha. They didn’t like being out of control of anything, and I imagined that included his memories. “How is Iri doing? Between looking after Astor and Beru’s attitude, I’m afraid he’s going to quit on us.”
“He's never leaving. He moans and groans about it all the time though.” She smiled as if remembering a secret joke.
“So, is there a chance for anything between you two?” I welcomed a change of topic, and someone else’s love life filled that nicely.
“No. I’m fated to a wolf. He knows that.” Her smile faded as her eyes clouded over.
“You’re engaged?” I sat back, confused.
“No, but if I want to mate, it must be with a wolf. It’s their rule.” She raised her eyebrows up and down and didn’t offer any more information.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know that. What would happen if you didn’t listen?” I pushed only because I was curious.
“It wouldn’t be pretty. I’ve never known anyone who disobeyed.”
She acted like it didn’t bother her, but I knew it did. I had seen the connection she had with Iri, and that explained why she’d never let it go any further. “Did you and Iri ever talk about it?” I couldn’t help myself, even though I knew it was extremely personal and the kind of thing she wasn’t likely to share.
“There’s nothing to talk about. What about you and Beru? That kiss he laid on you before the fight kind of implied something serious.”
“You know as much as I do. I think he really thought he was going to die.” I poured the chopped-up vegetables Sade had prepared into a pot of boiling water over the fire.
“Explains why he’s kept you at arm’s length since. I’m not sure I believe this memory thing. And I’m not on board with going south. I don’t think any of us are.” The skin under her eyes was dark and her eyes red.
I could see the fatigue and worry and couldn’t argue. I poked at the boiling pot and fought running off into the woods myself. I felt a complete loss of control over what was happening and wondered if my instincts were right to follow Beru.
“What are you thinking? For real. Not what you think I want to hear.” Her tone was sweet and caring and her face intensely curious.
My mouth twitched in a half-smile, fading quickly as I sighed and told the truth. “I’ve been asking him about his memory loss. I keep wondering if it has anything to do with leaving the prison.”
“He might not know how far back it started to happen. It sounds more plausible for it to have happened after your last dreamwalk.”
I poked my stick in the pot, feeling almost numb. I was so entranced by the flames I didn’t hear Beru come back to the fire pit.
“Aria.” He tried to get my attention.
“You’re back.” I turned my head to look at him briefly, then returned to my duty of poking the pot.
“I just needed some time alone. I didn’t want to blow up at you again.” He put his hand on the ground behind me and leaned in, his words barely a whisper. “Please have patience with me.”
He didn’t move after he’d finished, and I expected he was waiting for me to turn toward him. I shouldn’t look at him, but the heat from his body called to me and I turned my head, hesitating when I saw his face mere inches from mine.
“You have to tell me more if you want me to understand.” My eyes fell from his eyes to his mouth. I half expected him to lean in and kiss me like before.
“Where did you go?” Sade spoke extra loudly, deliberately interrupting our moment.
Beru sat up straight, backing away from me and I returned to poking the pot over the fire.
“I needed to clear my head. I’m sorry for how I’ve been speaking to you. I don’t know why I’m acting like this.” Beru’s apology sounded sincere.
I looked up at Sade, but I couldn’t get a good read on what she was thinking. Soon, Iri, Astor, and the two giants were back with more wood and straw for our beds.
Helgirth smirked as Astor dropped his armful of logs- about three- then placed her own load beside it. Given her larger size, it was no surprise she’d dwarfed his contribution by at least four times
. Astor’s crestfallen expression almost made me laugh though as she nudged him teasingly.
“No fair, Helgirth. Well you may be stronger but I have magic!”
The booming sound of her laughter filled the campsite and I realized I never really noticed what the giants were up to. They’d been equal participants in our journey since leaving the island, but they were so calm and quiet one almost forgot they were there—quite a feat, considering.
“I think this should do it.” Iri dropped a load of hay in the area we’d designated the sleeping area along with Gordo’s larger load.
“Hmm . . . that smells good.” Astor sat down by the firepit as Helgirth joined Gordo in preparing the beds. “When’s it going to be ready?” He rubbed his hands together next to the fire, opening them to warm them and rubbing them again.
“We just put it on.”
He made a grumpy face and then his face lit up and he swiped a carrot that hadn’t made it into the pot.
“We scouted the area. No one has been through here for a while. I think we can rest easy tonight, but let’s not keep the fire going too late, just in case.” Iri drank from the flask that hung around his neck.
“Is there fresh water nearby?” Sade looked hopeful.
“A river not too far from here. We brought some back.” Iri nodded to a barrel and Gordo tapped it for emphasis.
Sade and Astor got up to fill their cups. I was thirsty but didn’t want to move. I could wait till later.
“How are things here?” Iri cautiously spoke, directing his question to me.
I let Beru answer, in the hopes that the talking would help mend their relationship. I wanted them to be close again. Beru needed Iri’s support. Iri knew more about his world before the prison than anyone did.
“I’m sorry about my attitude. Things are taking a toll on me, and I’m not handling it right.” Beru moved closer to Iri as he apologized.
I watched from the corner of my eye to see what Iri would do next. He leaned over, resting his elbows on his knees and grunted but didn’t speak. I knew Beru’s behavior toward Sade set Iri off. He wouldn’t tolerate anyone disrespecting her and Beru had definitely crossed that line.
“Don’t let it happen again,” Iri finally responded, after a long, uncomfortable pause.
“I won’t.” Beru shook his head.
We fell into silence that wasn’t entirely peaceful until Sade and Astor rejoined us.
“We’ve become boring.” Astor announced as he took his seat.
“I’m not boring.” Sade laughed, giving him a swat.
“Let’s say we have a difference of opinion.” Astor smiled, and she pushed on his arm.
“Let’s say you’re sleeping on the most lumpy bed tonight.”
I chuckled at the sight of the two of them carrying on. I envied their ability to push everything aside and have a little fun. I wished I could do that, but I still felt off because of my worry for Beru.
I looked over at Iri and Beru. They were huddled together, deep in conversation now. I couldn’t tell if it was good or bad, but they were both wearing serious expressions. I tried my best to listen, but they were too quiet to hear from where I sat.
“Is it ready?” Sade asked.
I poked my stick into the pot. The vegetables were still hard. “No, not yet.”
“I wonder what they’re discussing.”
“Will he tell you later?” I didn’t know how close Iri and Sade were anymore, but I assumed they still had a special friendship.
“Maybe. Hard to say.” She took the stick from my hand and poked around the inside of the pot, as if she thought she’d have a different outcome.
“I hope they can be friends again. Iri is good for him.” I left her with the stick and grabbed bowls, laying them out on the ground.
“He has a big heart. I’m sure they will be fine. I’m more curious about Beru and you.” Sade nudged my arm with a smile.
“He doesn’t know who he is anymore, so I think that answers any question of a possible us.” I let my disappointment show in my voice and Sade gave my shoulder a comforting squeeze.
“Everyone.” Beru announce as he stood up. We all looked at him, including Helgirth and Gordo, then at each other, confused about what was going on.
Sade spoke first. “We’re listening.”
“I’m sorry about my behavior. I know you all have questions about my intentions, and me so I wanted to tell you all what I’ve been dealing with, besides what you already know. Please let me finish before you ask any questions. It’s been many years since I’ve had to speak much to anyone, let alone about feelings.” Beru rubbed the palms of his hands together, shuffling his feet slightly. He appeared to be deep in thought.
I looked at Iri, positive this was his doing. He must have told Beru to come clean to everyone so we’d all feel good about our decision to follow him without knowing why we were supposed to go south.
“This goes back to Vinug. When I first arrived in the prison, I was tortured by him and his group, whatever you want to call them. It went on for a long time. Before I came to fight in the Great War, we were trained to suppress our memories. For these very reasons, I think the memories I suppressed are coming back to me now. It’s the reason why I’m pushing for us to go south. I can’t tell you any more than what I can remember, which is still not very much.” Beru stopped to take a deep breath. “Any questions yet?”
“So, you have no idea what’s waiting in the south? How will we know how far to go?” Astor tossed a rock back and forth in his hands.
I could never really tell what Astor thought of Beru. They’d always gotten along alright, but they’d never been close. Come to think of it, I’d never seen them have a conversation alone, either. Iri had always been there at the same time. I looked to Beru for his reply.
“I can’t answer that. I can only feel we’re on the right road. I think I’ll know when we get there. I know that sounds ridiculous.” Beru laughed humorlessly and glanced at me, like he was waiting for me to interject some words of wisdom.
I didn’t have anything to add though. He’d already told me as much as he knew. I wanted him to know I supported him, but I wasn’t sure how to show it.
“Are you sure this isn’t a ploy to get us somewhere Dag’draath could hurt us? Why can’t we follow through with Aria’s plan first?” Sade seemed to have no trouble asking questions.
“I can only explain it as a feeling. But I think I’d know if it was a trap. It feels more like this is the answer we’ve been waiting for.” Beru chose his words carefully.
“I’m down with whatever the group decides. I’ve got nothing better to do.” Sade took the pot off the fire and began dishing out portions while Astor waited, mouth open for his bowl.
“I’m still going south with you,” I said.
Beru appeared relieved at my comment. I offered him a weak smile then handed out two bowls of soup with bread to the Helgirth and Gordo who were resting behind the fire on the beds they’d made. When I came back, Astor had already claimed his bowl, and Sade was handing bowls to Beru and Iri.
“That was quite the speech.” Sade sat beside me as Beru returned to conversation with Iri . “Believe him?”
“I guess. There’s no one else alive he could be working with.” I dipped my bread in my soup and ate it. I chewed more times than required in order to avoid speaking. . I did believe him, but there was still a niggling feeling of doubt that made it hard for me to defend him or my own decisions.
“I’ll go along with it for now.” Sade slurped her stew. “I’m getting another bowl before the boys finish it up. You want more?”
“No, I’ve been munching all day. I’m not very hungry.” I smiled and watched as she filled her bowl again.
I put my bowl down and rested my head on my arms. I let the setting sun beat down, and closed my eyes in an attempt to relax. I was full, but my stomach gnawed at me as if it was empty. I braced myself for the possibility of having to shut down the trip at t
he first sign of it going wrong. I couldn’t risk their lives for a feeling.
Chapter 12
We started off early the next morning, as most of us didn’t get a good night’s sleep. We packed quickly and moved quietly on the trail just as the first rays of the suns broke through the trees. . I had hoped to come across our horses on the way, but no luck so far.
“Aria.” Iri reached back and shook my shoulder. “We have company up.”
Four horses stampeded down the path toward us. Their riders whipped their reins hard against the horses’ shoulders, gaining speed.
“Let’s stop and pull over here.” I turned toward Sade and Beru, who were on the remaining horses behind the carriage and motioned to them that we were stopping.
The carriage halted and I jumped down. Sade and Beru didn’t have to ask why as the horses approached us at a rapid clip. Beru was the first to climb down, and he joined me as I walked out front.
“We outnumber them, at least,” Beru offered as we waited for them to declare themselves one way or another..
“Unless they have a larger group lagging behind,” I replied, unable to feel as optimistic at the way they were charging toward us.
They rode on and didn’t seem to slow at all. They were far enough away that even with the speed they were moving it seemed to take them forever to reach us. Which was just enough time for my mind to begin to worry.
“What’s the plan?” Sade spoke as she joined us, with Iri close behind.
Astor stayed on the carriage, and the two giants stood behind us, arms crossed as they waited for either an order or development with their normal stoic expressions. What a greeting committee we must have been..
Shrugging, I replied. “We greet them and see where they’re headed. Probably warn them about the town, if they’re friendly and going that way, of course.”
“Agreed.” Beru bounced lightly on the balls of his feet, like someone getting ready for hand-to-hand combat.
I hoped it didn’t come to that.
The riders slowed down as they neared us, which was a good sign. Each rider had bedding and pans, along with large packs on the back of the horse. They appeared to be outfitted for long distances the same as we were, so they were likely travelers. They stopped a fair distance away, and one of the men dismounted, walking toward us as the others hung back.
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