He looked at her sharply, but did not reply.
A curious flash of telepathy passed between them; she hesitated, then:
“You once promised Austin and me that you would stay with us.”
“But, Nina—”
“No, no, no! Wait,” pressing an electric button; “Watson, Captain Selwyn’s luggage is to be brought here immediately from the Holland! Immediately!” And to Selwyn: “Austin will not be at home before half-past six. Come up with me now and see your quarters — a perfectly charming place for you, with your own smoking-room and dressing-closet and bath. Wait, we’ll take the elevator — as long as we have one.”
Smilingly protesting, yet touched by the undisguised sincerity of his welcome, he suffered himself to be led into the elevator — a dainty white and rose rococo affair. His sister adjusted a tiny lever; the car moved smoothly upward and, presently stopped; and they emerged upon a wide landing.
“Here,” said Nina, throwing open a door. “Isn’t this comfortable? Is there anything you don’t fancy about it? If there is, tell me frankly.”
“Little sister,” he said, imprisoning both her hands, “it is a paradise — but I don’t intend to come here and squat on my relatives, and I won’t!”
“Philip! You are common!”
“Oh, I know you and Austin think you want me.”
“Phil!”
“All right, dear. I’ll — it’s awfully generous of you — so I’ll pay you a visit — for a little while.”
“You’ll live here, that’s what you’ll do — though I suppose you are dreaming and scheming to have all sorts of secret caves and queer places to yourself — horrid, grimy, smoky bachelor quarters where you can behave sans-façon.”
“I’ve had enough of sans-façon” he said grimly. “After shacks and bungalows and gun-boats and troopships, do you suppose this doesn’t look rather heavenly?”
“Dear fellow!” she said, looking tenderly at him; and then under her breath: “What a ghastly life you have led!”
But he knew she did not refer to the military portion of his life.
He threw back his coat, dug both hands into his pockets, and began to wander about the rooms, halting sometimes to examine nondescript articles of ornament or bits of furniture as though politely interested. But she knew his thoughts were steadily elsewhere.
“‘There is no reason,’ she said, ‘why you should not call this house home.’”
Sauntering about, aware at moments that her troubled eyes were following him, he came back, presently, to where she sat perched upon his bed.
“It all looks most inviting, Nina,” he said cheerfully, seating himself beside her. “I — well, you can scarcely be expected to understand how this idea of a home takes hold of a man who has none.”
“Yes, I do,” she said.
“All this—” he paused, leisurely, to select his words— “all this — you — the children — that jolly nursery—” he stopped again, looking out of the window; and his sister looked at him through eyes grown misty.
“There is no reason,” she said, “why you should not call this house home.”
“N-no reason. Thank you. I will — for a few days.”
“No reason, dear,” she insisted. “We are your own people; we are all you have, Phil! — the children adore you already; Austin — you know what he thinks of you; and — and I—”
“You are very kind, Ninette.” He sat partly turned from her, staring at the sunny window. Presently he slid his hand back along the bed-covers until it touched and tightened over hers. And in silence she raised it to her lips.
They remained so for a while, he still partly turned from her, his perplexed and narrowing gaze fixed on the window, she pressing his clenched hand to her lips, thoughtful and silent.
“Before Austin comes,” he said at length, “let’s get the thing over — and buried — as long as it will stay buried.”
“Yes, dear.”
“Well, then — then—” but his throat closed tight with the effort.
“Alixe is here,” she said gently; “did you know it?”
He nodded.
“You know, of course, that she’s married Jack Ruthven?”
He nodded again.
“Are you on leave, Phil, or have you really resigned?”
“Resigned.”
“I knew it,” she sighed.
He said: “As I did not defend the suit I couldn’t remain in the service. There’s too much said about us, anyway — about us who are appointed from civil life. And then — to have that happen!”
“Phil?”
“What?”
“Will you answer me one thing?”
“Yes, I guess so.”
“Do you still care for — her?”
“I am sorry for her.”
After a painful silence his sister said: “Could you tell me how it began, Phil?”
“How it began? I don’t know that, either. When Bannard’s command took the field I went with the scouts. Alixe remained in Manila. Ruthven was there for Fane, Harmon & Co. That’s how it began, I suppose; and it’s a rotten climate for morals; and that’s how it began.”
“Only that?”
“We had had differences. It’s been one misunderstanding after another. If you mean was I mixed up with another woman — no! She knew that.”
“She was very young, Phil.”
He nodded: “I don’t blame her.”
“Couldn’t anything have been done?”
“If it could, neither she nor I did it — or knew how to do it, I suppose. It went wrong from the beginning; it was founded on froth — she had been engaged to Harmon, and she threw him over for ‘Boots’ Lansing. Then I came along — Boots behaved like a thoroughbred — that is all there is to it — inexperience, romance, trouble — a quick beginning, a quick parting, and two more fools to give the lie to civilization, and justify the West Pointers in their opinions of civil appointees.”
“Try not to be so bitter, Phil; did you know she was going before she left Manila?”
“I hadn’t the remotest idea of the affair. I thought that we were trying to learn something about life and about each other. . . . Then that climax came.”
He turned and stared out of the window, dropping his sister’s hand. “She couldn’t stand me, she couldn’t stand the life, the climate, the inconveniences, the absence of what she was accustomed to. She was dead tired of it all. I can understand that. And I — I didn’t know what to do about it. . . . So we drifted; and the catastrophe came very quickly. Let me tell you something; a West Pointer, an Annapolis man, knows what sort of life he’s going into and what he is to expect when he marries. Usually, too, he marries into the Army or Navy set; and the girl knows, too, what kind of a married life that means.
“But I didn’t. Neither did Alixe. And we went under; that’s all — fighting each other heart and soul to the end. . . . Is she happy with Ruthven? I never knew him — and never cared to. I suppose they go about in town among the yellow set. Do they?”
“Yes. I’ve met Alixe once or twice. She was perfectly composed — formal but unembarrassed. She has shifted her milieu somewhat — it began with the influx of Ruthven’s friends from the ‘yellow’ section of the younger married set — the Orchils, Fanes, Minsters, and Delmour-Carnes. Which is all right if she’d stay there. But in town you’re likely to encounter anybody where the somebodies of one set merge into the somebodies of another. And we’re always looking over our fences, you know. . . . By the way,” she added cheerfully, “I’m dipping into the younger set myself to-night — on Eileen’s account. I brought her out Thursday and I’m giving a dinner for her to-night.”
“Who’s Eileen?” he asked.
“Eileen? Why, don’t you — why, of course, you don’t know yet that I’ve taken Eileen for my own. I didn’t want to write you; I wanted first to see how it would turn out; and when I saw that it was turning out perfectly, I thought it better to wait until you could r
eturn and hear all about it from me, because one can’t write that sort of thing—”
“Nina!”
“What, dear?” she said, startled.
“Who the dickens is Eileen?”
“Philip! You are precisely like Austin; you grow impatient of preliminary details when I’m doing my very best attempting to explain just as clearly as I can. Now I will go on and say that Eileen is Molly Erroll’s daughter, and the courts appointed Austin and me guardians for her and for her brother Gerald.”
“Oh!”
“Now is it clear to you?”
“Yes,” he said, thinking of the tragedy which had left the child so utterly alone in the world, save for her brother and a distant kinship by marriage with the Gerards.
For a while he sat brooding, arms loosely folded, immersed once more in his own troubles.
“It seems a shame,” he said, “that a family like ours, whose name has always spelled decency, should find themselves entangled in the very things their race has always hated and managed to avoid. And through me, too.”
“It was not your fault, Phil.”
“No, not the divorce part. Do you suppose I wouldn’t have taken any kind of medicine before resorting to that! But what’s the use; for you can try as you may to keep your name clean, and then you can fold your arms and wait to see what a hopeless fool fate makes of you.”
“But no disgrace touches you, dear,” she said tremulously.
“I’ve been all over that, too,” he said with quiet bitterness. “You are partly right; nobody cares in this town. Even though I did not defend the suit, nobody cares. And there’s no disgrace, I suppose, if nobody cares enough even to condone. Divorce is no longer noticed; it is a matter of ordinary occurrence — a matter of routine in some sets. Who cares? — except decent folk? And they only think it’s a pity — and wouldn’t do it themselves. The horrified clamour comes from outside the social registers and blue books; we know they’re right, but it doesn’t affect us. What does affect us is that we were the decent folk who permitted ourselves the luxury of being sorry for others who resorted to divorce as a remedy but wouldn’t do it ourselves! . . . Now we’ve done it and—”
“Phil! I will not have you feel that way.”
“What way?”
“The way you feel. We are older than we were — everybody is older — the world is, too. What we were brought up to consider impossible—”
“What we were brought up to consider impossible was what kept me up to the mark out there, Nina.” He made a gesture toward the East. “Now, I come back here and learn that we’ve all outgrown those ideas—”
“Phil! I never meant that.”
He said: “If Alixe found that she cared for Ruthven, I don’t blame her. Laws and statutes can’t govern such matters. If she found she no longer cared for me, I could not blame her. But two people, mismated, have only one chance in this world — to live their tragedy through with dignity. That is absolutely all life holds for them. Beyond that, outside of that dead line — treachery to self and race and civilisation! That is my conclusion after a year’s experience in hell.” He rose and began to pace the floor, fingers worrying his moustache. “Law? Can a law, which I do not accept, let me loose to risk it all again with another woman?”
She said slowly, her hands folded in her lap: “It is well you’ve come to me at last. You’ve been turning round and round in that wheeled cage until you think you’ve made enormous progress; and you haven’t. Dear, listen to me; what you honestly believe to be unselfish and high-minded adherence to principle, is nothing but the circling reasoning of a hurt mind — an intelligence still numbed from shock, a mental and physical life forced by sheer courage into mechanical routine. . . . Wait a moment; there is nobody else to say this to you; and if I did not love you I would not interfere with this great mistake you are so honestly making of your life, and which, perhaps, is the only comfort left you. I say, ‘perhaps,’ for I do not believe that life holds nothing happier for you than the sullen content of martyrdom.”
“Nina!”
“I am right!” she said, almost fiercely; “I’ve been married thirteen years and I’ve lost that fear of men’s portentous judgments which all girls outgrow one day. And do you think I am going to acquiesce in this attitude of yours toward life? Do you think I can’t distinguish between a tragical mistake and a mistaken tragedy? I tell you your life is not finished; it is not yet begun!”
He looked at her, incensed; but she sprang to the floor, her face bright with colour, her eyes clear, determined: “I thought, when you took the oath of military service, you swore to obey the laws of the land? And the very first law that interferes with your preconceived notions — crack! — you say it’s not for you! Look at me — you great, big, wise brother of mine — who knows enough to march a hundred and three men into battle, but not enough to know where pride begins and conscience ends. You’re badly hurt; you are deeply humiliated over your resignation; you believe that ambition for a career, for happiness, for marriage, and for children is ended for you. You need fresh air — and I’m going to see you have it. You need new duties, new faces, new scenes, new problems. You shall have them. Dear, believe me, few men as young as you — as attractive, as human, as lovable, as affectionate as you, wilfully ruin their lives because of a hurt pride which they mistake for conscience. You will understand that when you become convalescent. Now kiss me and tell me you’re much obliged — for I hear Austin’s voice on the stairs.”
He held her at arms’ length, gazing at her, half amused, half indignant; then, unbidden, a second flash of the old telepathy passed between them — a pale glimmer lighted his own dark heart in sympathy; and for a moment he seemed to have a brief glimpse of the truth; and the truth was not as he had imagined it. But it was a glimpse only — a fleeting suspicion of his own fallibility; then it vanished into the old, dull, aching, obstinate humiliation. For truth would not be truth if it were so easily discovered.
“Well, we’ve buried it now,” breathed Selwyn. “You’re all right, Nina — from your own standpoint — and I’m not going to make a stalking nuisance of myself; no fear, little sister. Hello!” — turning swiftly— “here’s that preposterous husband of yours.”
They exchanged a firm hand clasp; Austin Gerard, big, smooth shaven, humorously inclined toward the ruddy heaviness of successful middle age; Selwyn, lean, bronzed, erect, and direct in all the powerful symmetry and perfect health of a man within sight of maturity.
“Hail to the chief — et cetera,” said Austin, in his large, bantering voice. “Glad to see you home, my bolo-punctured soldier boy. Welcome to our city! I suppose you’ve both pockets stuffed with loot, now haven’t you? — pearls and sarongs and dattos — yes? Have you inspected the kids? What’s your opinion of the Gerard batallion? Pretty fit? Nina’s commanding, so it’s up to her if we don’t pass dress parade. By the way, your enormous luggage is here — consisting of one dinky trunk and a sword done up in chamois skin.”
“Nina’s good enough to want me for a few days—” began Selwyn, but his big brother-in-law laughed scornfully:
“A few days! We’ve got you now!” And to his wife: “Nina, I suppose I’m due to lean over those infernal kids before I can have a minute with your brother. Are they in bed yet? All right, Phil; we’ll be down in a minute; there’s tea and things in the library. Make Eileen give you some.”
He turned, unaffectedly taking his pretty wife’s hand in his large florid paw, and Selwyn, intensely amused, saw them making for the nursery absorbed in conjugal confab. He lingered to watch them go their way, until they disappeared; and he stood a moment longer alone there in the hallway; then the humour faded from his sun-burnt face; he swung wearily on his heel, and descended the stairway, his hand heavy on the velvet rail.
The library was large and comfortable, full of agreeably wadded corners and fat, helpless chairs — a big, inviting place, solidly satisfying in dull reds and mahogany. The porcelain of tea paraphernal
ia caught the glow of the fire; a reading lamp burned on a centre table, shedding subdued lustre over ceiling, walls, books, and over the floor where lay a few ancient rugs of Beloochistan, themselves full of mysterious, sombre fire.
Hands clasped behind his back, he stood in the centre of the room, considering his environment with the grave, absent air habitual to him when brooding. And, as he stood there, a sound at the door aroused him, and he turned to confront a young girl in hat, veil, and furs, who was leisurely advancing toward him, stripping the gloves from a pair of very white hands.
“How do you do, Captain Selwyn,” she said. “I am Eileen Erroll and I am commissioned to give you some tea. Nina and Austin are in the nursery telling bedtime stories and hearing assorted prayers. The children seem to be quite crazy about you—” She unfastened her veil, threw back stole and coat, and, rolling up her gloves on her wrists, seated herself by the table. “ — Quite crazy about you,” she continued, “and you’re to be included in bedtime prayers, I believe — No sugar? Lemon? — Drina’s mad about you and threatens to give you her new maltese puppy. I congratulate you on your popularity.”
“Did you see me in the nursery on all fours?” inquired Selwyn, recognising her bronze-red hair.
Unfeigned laughter was his answer. He laughed, too, not very heartily.
“My first glimpse of our legendary nursery warrior was certainly astonishing,” she said, looking around at him with frank malice. Then, quickly: “But you don’t mind, do you? It’s all in the family, of course.”
“Of course,” he agreed with good grace; “no use to pretend dignity here; you all see through me in a few moments.”
She had given him his tea. Now she sat upright in her chair, smiling, distraite, her hat casting a luminous shadow across her eyes; the fluffy furs, fallen from throat and shoulder, settled loosely around her waist.
Glancing up from her short reverie she encountered his curious gaze.
“To-night is to be my first dinner dance, you know,” she said. Faint tints of excitement stained her white skin; the vivid scarlet contrast of her mouth was almost startling. “On Thursday I was introduced—” she explained, “and now I’m to have the gayest winter I ever dreamed of. . . . And I’m going to leave you in a moment if Nina doesn’t hurry and come. Do you mind?”
Works of Robert W Chambers Page 324
