by A. G. Khaliq
I've had a dark past. A past that continues haunting me every single day, and the scars are still there…
I guessed that I was embarrassed, upset, angry…
But I didn't tell anybody about my past, or 15
my problems. Those things were better left kept to myself, shut away and repressed, because nobody would understand where I was coming from, and why I made the decisions that I did to get to this point in my life today.
Work kept me busy, and helped me to forget the terrible things that I went through all those years ago…
It felt like my job was slowly overwhelming me and devouring me whole. It was slowly killing me that I couldn't spend enough time with myself to keep myself sane, to go out and have fun like a normal 28-year-old, make friends and live a good life. Or the fact that I couldn’t spend enough time with my mother in the last years of her life. She wasn’t getting any younger, after all…
And keeping up with Brett was the least of my fucking worries. Maybe now was the perfect chance to put an end to whatever we had, because I finally had an excuse to do so…
It was bound to happen sooner or later, anyway. Our relationship had been rocky for a long time. I was just speeding up the inevitable.
I felt terrible because I knew how much Brett cared about me and loved me, but I couldn’t keep stringing him along like this, and convincing myself that I felt the same way about 16
him, when I knew that I didn’t. I already felt empty enough, without my relationship with Brett adding to it.
I couldn’t force myself to be in a miserable relationship with him forever, despite the history that I had with him, because I’d already been through a relationship just as toxic as that before, and I didn’t want to put myself through that again…
I arrived at Brett’s apartment block, and began walking up the stairs to make my way to his room number. When I arrived at his room, the door was already open. I rubbed my chin in thought, wondering why he’d left it open.
“Brett?” I called out. “Brett?”
There was no response. I shrugged to myself, before letting myself in. I was sure that he wouldn’t have a problem with me doing this, because we always turned up to each other’s places unannounced.
I searched the rooms, trying to figure out where he was. He hadn’t mentioned anything about going out today, so I’d assumed that he would be at home…
And then I heard the sound of somebody giggling. I furrowed my eyebrows, wondering 17
who the hell was in here. I followed the sounds of the laughter… and then stopped dead in my tracks as I reached Brett’s bedroom.
Brett was standing there, in his blue t-shirt and blue jeans, with his blonde hair tied up in a manbun… with a girl’s arms wrapped around him. He had his arms folded, and she was rubbing his chest up and down, leaving pecks of kisses in her wake. She had short brown curly hair, big brown eyes, light brown skin, arched eyebrows… and her shirt wasn’t on. She was just in some ripped denim shorts, paired with a turquoise colored sequined bra.
Hazel.
A bitch that he’d told me not to worry about, so many times before…
Angry tears welled in my eyes. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. She was so fucking gorgeous, and I could feel my heart twist into knots as I watched her put her hands all over Brett. Just looking at her was enough to push me over the edge and make me feel so fucking insecure, knowing that I couldn’t compare to her beauty, knowing that she was the type of woman that every man I met in my life would prefer over me…
Brett’s chest was heaving upwards and downwards as she touched him, and I could feel 18
the bile rise to my throat; I felt so sick. He was enjoying this. He was enjoying the attention, he was enjoying entertaining her…
This was the man that I’d been beating myself up over on my journey here, feeling terrible at the fact that I was going to end things with him, because I thought that I would be breaking his heart…
“Come on, baby,” said Hazel, tilting his chin, forcing him to look her in the eye.
I couldn’t hold back my disgust anymore.
I shook my fists with rage.
“What the fuck, Brett?!” I screamed.
Brett flipped around in shock, looking like somebody had just stepped over his grave.
“Maya!” he cried out.
Hazel started giggling as she saw me, a wide smirk on her lips, and this just made me feel even more shit about myself. She found my pain amusing, she was laughing at me…
I bolted out of the room, feeling embarrassed and angry, with tears spilling down my cheeks.
“I'm such a fool…” I shook my head angrily, as I stopped in the living room. I turned around to see that Brett had ran after me, and he’d caught up with me.
“Maya!” he shrieked. “It's not what it 19
looks like!”
“Not what it looks like?!” I repeated angrily. Even after I’d just caught him dead with another woman in his apartment, he still continued to try to make excuses for himself, and this was enough to make my blood boil to the point that it almost dried up. “I just saw her kissing you and feeling you up for God's sake! In just her bra and jeans!” I broke off my sentence, seething. “So this is why you didn't turn up to work today. You fucking disgust me.”
Brett exhaled a sigh, and then took his head into his hands. “Maya, you know what Hazel is like,” he said exhaustedly, his voice strung with venom and bitterness. “She's a desperate bitch! She turned up to my apartment unannounced and threw herself at me! I didn't do anything back!”
“I don't know what to believe anymore,” I replied miserably, feeling dejected. I always saw the good in people, and deep down, my heart was telling me that Brett wasn’t capable of cheating on me… Because I knew how much he loved me, after how much he always told me over and over.
But actions speak louder than words. I replayed what I just saw in the room in my head, and I realized that I hadn’t really seen Brett doing anything back with her, so maybe his side of the 20
story did add up, after all. Either way, I didn’t fucking care. What was it to me if he’d been cheating or not? I came here to put an end to whatever me and Brett had, and I couldn’t let my emotions get the better of me. I’d been waiting to do this for such a long time…
“Baby, please…” Brett pleaded. “We've been together for so long, I wouldn't do that to you and you know I wouldn't.”
“Brett, I didn't come here to argue with you,” I swallowed.
“What's going on, baby?” Brett asked, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.
“I'm leaving town,” I mumbled.
“W - what?!” Brett denied. “Is this because of Hazel?!”
“Boss has given me a new task that requires me to go undercover,” I explained gloomily.
“What kind of task?!” Brett asked bitterly, folding his arms, his facial expression fuming with rage. “You both arranged this all without letting me know?!”
“We're in the Secret Service, Brett,” I shot back, agitated. “Maybe Boss kept you out of the loop because he knew you would behave this way. You're so fucking childish!”
Brett opened his mouth to say something, 21
but then closed it again. His face fell, and the screw-face expression on his face was replaced with a sad, gloomy one.
“How long will you need to go?” he asked bleakly.
“However long it takes,” I shrugged.
“Could be a few months. Could be a year.” I shook my head. “I don't know.”
“Could be a year?” Brett repeated, repulsed.
I scratched my arm uneasily, feeling my insides twist into knots as he held his gaze with mine. His eyes were now blood-shot. I couldn’t tell if he was angry, sad or both… And in truth, I felt fucking terrible about it. He had every right to be angry. I was dropping this bombshell on him, after stringing him along for such a long time…
But I couldn’t stop myself now. The longer I delayed th
is, the shitter I would feel, and I needed to get this out of the fucking way.
“What about us, Maya?!” Brett screamed.
“WHAT ABOUT US?! Why couldn't you let some other prick take the job?!”
“Because Boss thought I was the right fit for the job!” I said defensively.
“Boss this, boss that!” Brett shot back condescendingly. “Why don't you prioritize 22
me?! Your boyfriend of two fucking years!”
He balled his hand into a fist, punching the wall behind me, causing me to jolt up in shock. I felt my eyes brim with tears, as I began trembling with fear. I’d never seen Brett like this before, and him resorting to use his fists, even if they hadn’t been on me, reminded me all-too-well of a monster from my past that I’d spent so long running away from…
“OR HAVE YOU BEEN SLEEPING
WITH BOSS, WHICH IS WHY YOU WON’T
GIVE ME ANY?!” Brett roared.
“How fucking dare you!” I shrieked. “This is what your problem is, Brett! You say things without caring how they would affect the other person! Don’t speak to me as if I’m a fucking whore!”
“What do you expect?!” Brett shot back, trembling. “I've been loyal to you, I've been putting up with your shit for so goddamn long.
I’ve been patient, not forcing you to sleep with me if you weren’t ready. And now you're packing your bags and leaving for God knows how long!
This is all so last minute, I don’t know what to fucking think!”
I opened my mouth to argue back, but then I closed it again, not knowing what the fucking point was in wasting my breath. I didn’t 23
want to end on bad terms with Brett, and no matter how much we both screamed and cried at each other, it wouldn’t change the fact that I was going to break up with him…
“Maybe it's for the best,” I mumbled finally.
“W - what?” Brett’s face fell. It looked like he was about to cry.
“I care about you Brett, I always have…” I whispered. “But how can we build our relationship on lack of trust? We’re always arguing…” My voice trailed off, as I let out a sharp intake of breath. “We're always at each other's throats.” I paused. “And to be honest, Brett, I feel like we're wrecking ourselves with this relationship.”
“No baby, please…” Brett pleaded, putting his hand on my arm, his eyes welling with tears.
“It's so toxic Brett, and it's crazy how you don't realize that,” I mumbled, shrugging him off of me. “We don't love each other…
“We're just two people who work together, see each other every day and convince ourselves that we do, when in reality, we just don't want to be lonely…”
“But I do love you…” Brett breathed.
“This isn't love, Brett, we're both so 24
miserable,” I swallowed. “Maybe this undercover job is what I need. A chance to get out of town…
Focus on myself, and find myself again.” I shook my head. “And put criminals behind bars while I'm at it.”
Brett backed away from me and collapsed onto the floor, rocking himself backwards and forwards as he sobbed.
“We were never meant to be, Brett,” I whispered timidly. “A part of me will always love you, but only as a friend. I don’t want to lose you as a person, but I couldn’t bear keeping this going when my heart wasn’t in it anymore…
“Now please don't pester Boss, or try to look for me. From tomorrow, I'll have a new identity, and you won't be seeing me again for a very long time. It's for the best.”
Before I could make myself feel even worse than I already did, I turned on my heel and began making my way out of his apartment, because just seeing him in this state was enough to shatter my heart into millions of tiny pieces, and twist my insides into knots. As I left the room, I heard Brett let out a blood-curdling scream, one after the other, the scream full of sadness, hurt, heart-ache, and ultimately…
The feeling of betrayal.
25
2
maya
I woke up from my bed, yawning loudly and stretching. I’d taken a flight to Manhattan this morning at around 3AM, ready to go undercover and live my new life, so as soon as I stepped foot inside of my new apartment…
I was so tired that I dragged myself to bed and took a nap straight away, without unpacking, or even checking out the different rooms inside of my flat.
I was really nervous about today. It was 26
my first day at Indigo Limited.
In all honesty, I just wanted to throw myself back into bed and sleep for another few hours, but I knew that I couldn’t stay in my room forever.
I got up from my bed, putting on my gown, and then walked out of the room, to take a look at the different rooms inside of my apartment. I had a beautiful open-plan kitchen, a huge bathroom, and a living room with a balcony that had an amazing view of the city skyline. It was so fucking beautiful.
Boss had really pulled out all of the stops for me. Seeing my place look so gorgeous was enough to make me never want to leave it.
I rubbed my chin in thought, as I continued to look around.
“I should get ready and make an effort with how I look for my first day at Indigo Limited if I want to make a good impression,” I murmured to myself, and then made my way to the bathroom.
I allowed my robe to fall to the floor, together with my lingerie, and then stepped inside of the bath-tub. I took a long, hot shower, allowing the water to run through my body and calm my nerves.
Then I dusted myself off, slipped into a 27
towel, and dried my hair. I made my way to my closet to pick out something to wear for work. I settled on a short black skirt, with a long-sleeved white blouse, and black tights. I put on some red lipstick and straightened my jet black hair, and left one shirt unbuttoned so that a little more skin was on display, since Boss had said that men like Donte thought with their dick. Looking sexy would play to my advantage.
I didn’t really enjoy wearing ultra-revealing outfits because I had a massive bruise on my leg, a mark from my past that I was really insecure about, which was why I always wore tights to cover it if I was wearing a skirt.
Otherwise, I’d just wear trousers.
I stared at myself in the mirror, deliberating over how I looked. I smoothed my hands over my ass, trying out several different poses in the mirror, to see how I looked at every angle. I was a really indecisive woman, and it took me forever to be satisfied with how I looked before I left my flat.
“I look good!” I said finally, biting my lip in frustration. I put my hands on my hips and took several deep breaths in and out, desperately trying to regain my confidence.
“Here goes nothing…” I murmured. “I should try my best to start off fresh. I've dumped 28
my toxic boyfriend and left shit behind…
“Now, it's time to tackle the Russian Mafia. And now, I'm no longer Maya Bradshaw.
From here on out, I'll be Sapphire Myers.”
Sapphire Myers was the new name that my boss had assigned to me, paired with the educational history of me apparently studying Computer Science at university. About a month ago, he’d put me on an intense course to learn Python programming and coding back to front, so that I would be ready for the job as a software developer at Indigo Limited.
I let out a sigh. I’d done what I needed to do, and now all that was left was to start this job.
And I was so fucking ready for it.
I made my way out of my apartment, and then turned around to lock the door with my keys. Then, I flicked open my phone, ready to call an Uber to get to work. Before I could open the app, two women began walking towards me, with a smile on their faces. The first woman was wearing a green-colored midi dress, she was curvy, and she had rose-gold dyed hair. The other woman was black, with beautiful braids, and she was wearing a red t-shirt paired with black jeans.
“Hey girl,” one smiled.
“Hey,” I replied, rubbing my neck 29
sheepish
ly.
“Are you our new neighbor?” said the curvy one, with her hands on her hips.
“Yeah, I am,” I admitted.
“Girl, you're gorgeous!”
I let out a giggle. It was really rare of me to get called gorgeous, especially by two women that I didn’t even know. It made me feel warm inside, a feeling that I was unfamiliar of because I’d spent most of my life growing up without friends.
“Thank you,” I grinned. “You both look gorgeous!”
They smiled at me in response, and I was actually enjoying their company. I wanted to make more of an effort to get to know these girls, because God knows, I could really do with a few friends here to make my stay in Manhattan bearable.
“My name is Sapphire, what about you both?” I said.
“I'm Maisie,” said the curvy woman.
“And I'm Millie,” said the one with the red top on.
“Where are you moving in from?” Maisie asked.
“Washington,”
I
explained.
“My
apartment is so pretty.”
30
“Welcome to Manhattan, girl,” Maisie grinned.
“You know what they say about New York, the city that never sleeps,” Millie added.
I chuckled in response. “Yeah, I'm sure I'll have lots of fun here.”
“We'll be here if you wanna party, or if you just want to come round and watch Netflix,”
Maisie shrugged.
“I'll take you up on that,” I smiled.
“Judging by the way you're dressed,” said Millie, “You have a job already?”
“Yeah, I start as a software developer at Indigo Limited today,” I admitted.
“Indigo
fucking
