by A. G. Khaliq
Yasmeen folded her arms awkwardly, furrowing her eyebrows, looking guilty.
“I'm so sorry babe, I didn't know,” she mumbled. She opened her mouth to speak, as if she was about to ask what had gone wrong, but then she closed it again, sensing that I was upset, and I didn’t want to tell them what had happened. I was glad that she respected my wishes and my boundaries.
“That's too bad,” Mikail shrugged, sympathizing with me. “I hope you move on and 331
learn to let go of the feelings that you had for him. But there's plenty more fish in the sea.
Don’t stress over one fish out of millions.”
“Yeah, I guess,” I replied awkwardly, because the advice he’d just given me was pretty fucking shit. It was stupid how he was telling me not to stress when I could have other men, because the only man I fucking wanted was Donte in the first place. No other man had interested me so far.
“Well, that killed the mood,” Yasmeen sighed exhaustedly. “Let's go to the mall, have some retail therapy.”
I giggled in response, doing my best to force a smile on my face, lighten the mood and appear stronger than I really was.
“I'd love that,” I shrugged neutrally.
“Let's go,” Mikail agreed, as he finished his last chicken wing, dusted himself off and called the waitress for the bill.
After we paid the bill, we walked out of the takeaway, and made our way down to the mall.
We walked into Forever 21, and started to browse through the different clothing on the rails. Yasmeen dragged me and Mikail over to the dresses section, flicking through her phone to look for the designs that she wanted to try on in store. Mikail sighed exhaustedly, knowing 332
that women were a fucking pain in the ass when it came to shopping, because we were so indecisive with what we wanted to buy.
“I'm gonna go over to the men's section,”
he said, with his hands on his hips. “You girls have fun.”
He blew out a sigh as he walked away, and I couldn’t help but to laugh. Yasmeen waved at him, and then began flicking through the different dresses on the rails. Long-sleeved floor-length maxi dresses in hundreds of different beautiful colours, from red, to pink, to blue, to yellow, to red. I rubbed my chin in thought, as I looked through the outfits. None of the clothes really stood out to me, and they weren’t really my style. But I knew that they would look beautiful on Yasmeen. She was a queen. She was Muslim, so she dressed modestly anyway, but in dresses like these, she would be modest in style and still look better than me with half of my clothes off.
“I'm gonna try some of these clothes on, babe,” she grinned. “Any of them stand out to you?”
“None of these clothes are really my taste,” I shrugged sheepishly, scratching my neck. “You'll look gorgeous in them, though.”
“Thanks girl,” she smiled appreciatively.
“I'm gonna go get another drink, and a 333
bite to eat while I wait for you to be done,” I shrugged.
“Another bite to eat?” Yasmeen denied.
“We just came out of the takeaway.”
“I know,” I laughed. “But what can I say?
I have a huge fucking appetite. I’m already hungry again.”
Yasmeen giggled in response.
“I'll come back here later,” I grinned.
“That's cool babe,” she waved. “See you in a bit.”
I nodded, and then turned on my heel, making my way out of Forever 21.
I made my way down the mall, my mind clouded with the thoughts of all of the fucking delicious food that I was going to buy.
So clouded that I didn't watch where I was going…
I fell slap-bang straight into a man, and fell to the ground. Me falling into people was becoming quite a habit now, and it was pissing me off at what a clutz I was.
“Fuck, I'm so sorry!” the man shouted. “I wasn’t watching where I was going… I’m so sorry.”
He bent down next to me, letting his hand out for me to take. I took my hand in his, allowing him to help me get off of the ground.
334
I dusted myself off.
“It’s fine,” I reassured him, smiling. “No harm done.”
“I'm so sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going,” he repeated, shaking his head.
For a minute, I forgot about how he'd just knocked me over, and I just stared at him.
Jesus Christ…
This man was fucking gorgeous…
335
44
maya
He had a chiseled, defined six pack that looked like it had been carved by Greek gods. His tight white top clung to his chest perfectly. He had heavy freckles, light brown chocolate skin, and a sexy tribal tattoo on his sleeve. A gorgeous, defined jawline, thick eyebrows, and lips that looked good enough to kiss...
For fuck's sake Maya, snap out of it! I screamed to myself internally.
There was no denying how attractive this 336
man was. He looked like a model. Like a man who every woman threw themselves at, and lost their fucking self-respect for.
I needed to snap out of my thoughts. He was just a stranger, after all. I was sure that I would be on my way back to the Food Court soon.
“It's okay,” I repeated sheepishly. “No harm done.”
“If I'd have known how beautiful you were, I would have watched where I was going,”
the man admitted, with a playful smirk on his face.
I couldn’t help but to let out a giggle. He thought I was beautiful?
I felt more confident than ever. I’d despised my appearance for God knows how long, but I was glad that I’d dressed in a sexy outfit today. At least somebody was appreciating the effort I’d made.
“That's kind of lame,” I grinned, with my hands on my hips.
He chuckled back in response, amused.
“Where are you headed?” he asked, shrugging.
“I was just going to go get a bite to eat,” I admitted.
“Mind if I join you?” he smiled. “I’ll pay 337
for it… It’s the least I can do after what just happened.”
This man was a little forward, but he was so attractive, it was hard to say no to him. It was sexy. He knew what he wanted, and he didn’t waste any time playing games.
“I'd love you to,” I blushed. “But I'm actually in town with two of my friends.” I let him down gently.
He gave me a disappointed glance.
“That's too bad,” he shrugged.
“I know you want my number, so I might as well just give it to you now to save you the hassle,” I said confidently, in a voice that I didn’t recognize. I didn’t know where I was getting this confidence from, but it felt good to assert my place and make him aware who the boss was in this situation.
He roared in laughter, amused at what I’d just said.
“You read my mind,” he said, in a deep, raspy, coy voice. “I like you already.”
I scratched my arm awkwardly, feeling my cheeks flush bright red. He sure knew how to say the right things, and catch me off guard.
He took his phone out of his pocket, and handed it over to me, so that I could type my number into his Contacts list. I tapped my 338
number into the keypad, before I handed it back to him, and dusted myself off.
“There you go,” I grinned.
“Thanks,” he smiled appreciatively. His eyes continued to burn into mine, as he never once broke eye contact with me. He bit his lip as he stared, as if he was trying to visibly tell me how attractive he found me. I continued to feel myself burn underneath his gaze.
“I really hope we see each other again,” he smirked, in a definitive voice, because he knew that we would see each other again.
“Me too,” I admitted sheepishly.
“What's your name?”
“Sapphire,” I shrugged. “And you?”
“Beautiful name for a beautiful girl,” he murmured.
I coug
hed loudly, knowing that I was so red by now, I was probably embarrassing myself.
I tried my best to regain my composure and confidence, and act cool about it.
“You're cute,” I smiled.
“My name's Milo,” he explained, smirking again. “Anyway Sapphire, I hope you enjoy your day. I’ll let you get back to your friends now.”
I nodded in appreciation. He waved at me and I turned on my heel to begin walking away from him. I knew that his gaze was burning into 339
my back, so I purposefully walked in a way that would make my ass wobble from side-to-side as I walked. These leggings really did do wonders on my ass, after all.
I smirked to myself, feeling like an idiot.
The whole time that I’d been speaking to him, I’d felt guilty, because I couldn’t get Donte off my damn mind. It was like I was staring back at Donte when I looked at Milo, and that wasn’t a good thing. But the man seemed really sweet and interested in me, so maybe getting to know somebody new would be the perfect way to move on from Donte, and to forget about him, and shut him off from my brain. As bad as I felt for giving my number to another man just a little while after I’d ended things with Donte, I knew that I couldn’t just keep feeling guilty forever.
Donte had slept with Sharon after asking me out on a date, so I guessed I had nothing to feel bad about, anyway.
340
45
donte
I’d gone to the mall to buy some things from Christian Dior, and then I was about to make my way to the Food Court, when I heard a familiar voice.
Sapphire’s voice.
I didn’t know if it was just a coincidence, or if it was because I just couldn’t get her off my damn mind. She’d been torturing my head lately with the thought of her, so I guessed that my mind was probably playing tricks on me. She 341
couldn’t be here at the same time that I was…
that would be too much of a coincidence.
But as I continued walking, the voices got louder. And there was no mistaking that it was Sapphire’s voice. She was here. It wasn’t just a trick of my mind.
I knew that Sapphire didn’t enjoy going out much, so I was surprised that she was here in the mall. I knew that I should have carried on walking and minding my own business, but I couldn’t resist to get my eyes on her one last time. I knew that she looked beautiful.
She always did.
I felt like an idiot. Because the longer I spent around her and her presence, the more I would dwell on what we could have been. What we could have had.
But I couldn’t fucking help myself. And it was fucking my mind up to the point of no return.
I followed the sound of her sweet, honey voice, that always set me on fire. And from the corner of my eye, I realized that she wasn’t alone.
My heart leapt to my throat. It felt like somebody had just twisted a dagger in my heart.
It felt like I was fucking suffocating, and I didn’t know what to make of this.
She was flirting with a man in the mall, 342
batting her eyelashes at him, and he was touching her arms suggestively, staring at what fucking belonged to me. Taking her in, making it known how much he wanted her. Eye-fucking her with those predatory eyes.
Just the mere sight of her standing here with another man was enough to make my blood boil to the point that it almost fucking dried up.
I wanted to strangle this man for laying eyes on what didn’t belong to him. I wanted to make him suffocate, and plead for air.
That fucking bastard…
But I knew that it took two to tango. I knew that she found him just as attractive as he found her. She was playing along, catching the bait. Making it known that she wanted to get to know him, too…
And that was enough to make my head feel like it was splitting open. To make me feel like my heart was being torn out of my body. To make me feel like my chest was about to fucking explode. To make me feel like my lungs were constricting, and I couldn’t breathe.
I couldn’t fucking breathe.
I couldn’t look at this situation for a minute fucking longer. I needed to get out of here.
I needed to forget her.
343
But I knew that after what I’d just seen…
That would just prove to be more and more fucking difficult.
What the hell did I do to deserve this?
What the hell did I do to deserve getting my heart broken like this?
Didn’t she give a fuck about my feelings?
Didn’t she give a fuck about how I felt?
I balled my hands into fists, shaking them angrily as I tried my best to regain my composure and not lash out in the middle of the mall.
They say if you keep dancing with the devil you’ll get burned…
344
46
donte
After I’d seen Sapphire and that stranger in the mall eye-fucking, I didn’t bother going to the Food Court. I’d lost my fucking appetite. I went straight back to my car, and just drove. Drove down the Highway at 200 miles per fucking hour, willing myself to calm down. Wishing that I would stop feeling like fucking shit about myself. Wishing that God would put an end to my pain.
I guessed I deserved this. Karma always 345
said that you would fall in love with somebody who didn’t love you, for not loving somebody who fucking did.
After all of the women I’d slept with in my life, a few of them were bound to catch feelings for me. I guess this was karma’s way of punishing me for not reciprocating their damn feelings.
I didn’t know why I couldn’t just forget about her. That fucking woman who had me drop to my knees the first time I ever laid eyes on her, and wonder what the hell I’d been waiting for all my life.
It was crazy. I was living every young man’s dream. I was filthy rich. I had an empire.
So many businesses. Women ran to my feet.
They fucking worshipped me. I was the man that every young entrepreneur fucking aspired to be.
The man that everybody looked up-to. The man that the press couldn’t fucking get enough of.
But all it took was one woman. One woman to make me deep life, and realize what I was missing.
Because it didn’t matter how much fucking success I had. It wouldn’t fulfil the void within me. The void in me that I had ever since I was a fucking kid.
Money truly didn’t buy you fucking happiness. And when I’d spent time around 346
Sapphire, driving with her, talking to her, eating with her, pleasuring her…
I felt that void being filled for the first fucking time in my life.
Like she was my remedy.
My key to fucking happiness.
I guessed that that was why I was having such a hard fucking time letting go of her.
Letting her carry on living her life, and move on without me. Because I knew that only she was capable of fixing me. Only she knew what it felt like to be alone like I did, to be surrounded by people but still feel fucking empty. Only she understood me.
Only she could fucking cure me.
But I guessed she didn’t feel the same way about me. It didn’t matter how much I did for her. I could tell that she wasn’t a materialistic woman. It didn’t matter if I took her to fancy restaurants, or drove her around my expensive cars.
I couldn’t force her to have feelings for me.
I needed to move on with my life. Even though I knew deep down that I would never be able to…
So I put my foot on the accelerator, willing myself to drive even faster. Making my way to 347
the club. Ready to do the only thing that I knew best. The only thing that I was fucking good at.
Fucking and forgetting…
I made my way to the bar inside of the club, storming in with rage. I threw my jacket to the side, because I was still sweating profusely from the heated drive I had in my damn car.
“Whisky, neat!” I screamed to the barman.
“R
ight away, Boss,” he said quickly.
He poured me the drink, sliding it over to me.
I took it all in in one gulp, allowing the alcohol to burn down my throat and course through my body.
“Another!” I growled.
And I had another…
And another….
And another…
And a-fucking-nother.
Drink
after
drink.
Letting
my
surroundings blur around me as I continued to get drunk. Wishing that the drink would numb the pain I was feeling.
But I just felt ten times as fucking worse.
“Fuck!” I roared, smashing the glass to the 348
floor. “Another, please!”
I opted for stronger drinks. Vodka. Gin.
Tonic.
Wishing that it would have an effect.
Wishing that it would take the pain anyway.
I sighed angrily, wanting to punch the fucking wall. I had to try and reel myself in. I had to try and keep my fucking cool.
But it was proving to be harder and harder and fucking harder.
“He's so hot,” a girl gushed, on the other side of the bar.
“Tell me about it girl,” her friend smiled.
“Why don't you go and make a move on him?”
“He looks a little heated,” she mumbled.
“What if he turns me down?”
Her friend rolled her eyes. “So what if he does?” she muttered. “There's plenty more fine meat on the dance floor. If you don't try, you won't know.”
The woman held her gaze at mine. I would be lying if I said that their conversation didn’t fucking amuse me. She was sexy, I’d give her that. Bright, big blue eyes. Long eyelashes.
Arched eyebrows. Bright pink painted lips, covered in lipgloss, that would look perfect wrapped around my fucking cock. Big tits, big 349
hips, long legs. She would fucking do. She wasn’t bad at all.
Not bad at all…