by E. J. Mara
“I don’t mean just talking,” Kimberly said, giving me a long slow-blink. She lifted her eyebrows and smirked, a knowing look on her face that told me I was supposed to be able to read her mind.
But it just wasn’t happening.
“What do you mean?”
Kimberly chuckled and ran a hand through her hair. “Come on, Libby.”
“What?!”
She leaned closer to me and lowered her voice, “Do you really not see that Jonathan likes you?”
My cheeks warmed and for a few seconds, I couldn’t even speak.
She tilted her head and her expression suddenly softened. “Have you ever had a boyfriend?”
“No, but I know when…” My voice trailed off as I realized that I didn’t really know when a guy liked me. Sometimes I thought I could tell, but then I’d second guess myself. As close as I’d gotten to Kimberly, I didn’t quite feel comfortable admitting that to her.
Trying to save face, I cleared my throat and said, “But I’m not an idiot. I can tell when someone’s into me.”
Kimberly smiled. “Well, you missed this one, Sherlock. Jonathan is a thousand percent into you.”
My cheeks ablaze, I shook my head. “Nah, I’m pretty sure he’s into Jen.”
Kimberly waved this off and made a face like what I’d said was nothing but a bad smell. “Libby, please. Jen’s hot. She doesn’t count. Every guy likes a hot girl. But you’re the only girl who Jonathan really likes.”
“That’s not… no.” I shifted in my seat and shook off my jacket, suddenly feeling kind of like I was baking in the world’s hottest oven.
“Every time you say something,” Kimberly said. “He stares at you like you’re his freaking sun and moon. Honestly, I don’t think he even hears the first half of anything you say- he just stares at you in awe until he pulls himself together and makes himself pay attention to your actual words. That’s very different from the way he looks at Jen.”
I opened my mouth to reply, but no words came out.
What could I say?
If I agreed with Kimberly that sometimes I got the feeling Jonathan liked me, I’d only be setting myself up for disappointment. Because, the truth was that no matter how much I liked him, he’d choose Jen. Guys always chose girls like Jen.
And if I negated Kimberly, she’d see straight through my lie.
Plus that, I was kind of tired of lying to Kimberly.
After hanging out with her so much I was starting to feel like I owed her, at least some honesty.
“So, what are you saying I should do?” I slowly asked.
“I’m saying,” Kimberly said, leaning towards me and lowering her voice. “You should capitalize on his feelings and convince him to come with us. Flirt a little.”
“Flirt?!”
“Yaaas! It’s not like I’m telling you to give the boy a lap dance. Just remind him that you’re, you know, a girl.”
“Kimberly, I’m not Jen,” I said, remembering the way Jen had touched Jonathan’s arm while she was talking to him the other day, running her hand up and down one of his biceps.
“No, no. Of course not,” Kimberly quickly said. “You don’t have to be aggressive. Just be yourself, but maybe… nicer than you usually are.”
“I’m nice!”
Her eyebrows went up and she winced. “Actually, you’re sort of not. When it comes to Jonathan, I mean. To other people, maybe. But not to him.”
I stared at her in shock. “How am I not nice to Jonathan?”
“You always sit super far away from him, even when y’all are sitting together at lunch, you put a huge gap between the two of you. You rarely compliment him, and when you do- you always take it back, and right away so there’s no mistaking that you don’t want him to feel good about himself.”
Kimberly gave me an apologetic look, like she knew she was hurting my feelings, but this didn’t stop her from continuing, “And honestly, I think that’s the only reason why Jen was able to swoop in and make a move. Because you scared Jonathan away with your… like, coldness.”
I wanted to cry.
But I lifted my chin and took a steadying deep breath.
“Oh, crap. I’m sorry,” Kimberly said. She grabbed my arm. “Libby, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. You’re not cold, you’re just, um, super complex, which is a good thing! It means you’re not a shallow person, you’re deep. Oh, God. I’m so sorry for not saying any of this the right way. My point is, you’re amazing and I love everything about you. Okay?”
Her kindness only made it worse. My vision went blurry with tears, and I turned away from her, not wanting her to see me cry.
“Libby, I’m sorry,” Kimberly gently said. She leaned forward and wrapped me in a hug.
Surprised, I stiffened at first, but as she tightened her embrace and continued to apologize, the tension in my shoulders eased and I found myself melting against her.
I hugged her in return and my blocked tears escaped, sliding down my cheeks while I closed my eyes.
So, I’m … cold? Just like my mother? Cold and calculating…
“What’s wrong?” Jonathan’s voice made us both jump.
Kimberly ended the hug and gave my shoulder a gentle pat.
“What happened?” Jonathan looked at me with concern, quickly sliding into the empty seat beside mine and turning it to face me.
“I just-” I started.
“She’s upset,” Kimberly interrupted. “Because she thinks the same thing would happen to her if she went missing. That no one would care.”
Jonathan looked from Kimberly to me, his lips pressed together tightly.
He looked down at the table and sighed.
Kimberly cleared her throat and when I glanced at her she gave me laser-eyes and nodded towards Jonathan, mouthing, “Say something.”
I took a deep breath. “Jonathan?”
He met my eyes. “Yeah?”
“It would mean s-so much to me if you helped us,” I stammered. “Please.”
He nodded. “Okay, I’m in.”
I blinked back at him, shocked. “Wait. Really?”
“Yeah.” He took my hand and gave it a squeeze. “And, if anyone ever even tried to hurt you, I would care. A lot of people would.”
He blushed and quickly released my hand.
“Thank you,” I whispered, unsure of why I was whispering.
All of a sudden, Jonathan stood, his chair making an awful squeaking noise as he got to his feet. “I’m going back to the front of the store, to finish up some things. But I can meet you back here when we close, or you can hang out here until we close. Whatever you all want.”
“We’ll probably grab some food and come back,” Kimberly said.
Jonathan nodded and glanced at me for the briefest of moments before saying goodbye and leaving the room like it was on fire.
As soon as he was gone, Kimberly burst into laughter.
I smiled. “So, that was as awkward as I thought?”
She spoke between laughs, “Oh my Gwaaaad, y’all are the cutest dorks. Geez. You know, I’d pay actual money to see how awkward your first kiss is. Will you record it when it happens and then show me?”
I frowned. “I seriously doubt that I will ever kiss Jonathan.”
She pointed to me. “Don’t say that. Saying or even just believing things like that is why all that awkwardness happens between you two. It makes you afraid of your feelings. So afraid that you try to hide your feelings, except they’re so freaking big you can’t hide them, and you end up looking hella awkward.”
Lightly biting down on my bottom lip, I considered Kimberly’s observation and gave myself a headache in the process.
Rubbing my temples, I said, “Can we please stop using the word awkward? If I hear it one more time, my brain might explode. Also, so will my stomach because I’m starving. Can we go eat?”
“Yeah, let’s eat before we go all Mission Impossible on Alberto’s Stop N Go,” Kimberly said wi
th a grin. She grabbed her keys and linked arms with me. “Come on, friend. Let’s bounce.”
Despite the weirdness of everything that had happened in the last ten minutes, I smiled, pleased because she’d called me ‘friend’ and sincerely meant it.
Chapter Thirteen
Kimberly’s Range Rover smelled like Greek food.
I took a deep breath, inhaling the delicious scents of the Mediterranean.
“Every time I eat Greek food, I remember how much I like it,” I said with a contented sigh.
Kimberly started to say something like, “Yeah,” and was stopped by an unexpected loud and wet burp that sounded the exact opposite of the way she looked.
Her eyes wide, she put a delicate hand to her mouth and grinned, “Excuse me.”
We looked at each other for a beat and then burst out laughing.
We’d just come from dinner at Andalous Mediterranean Grill and it was like stepping into heaven on earth. The food was incredible and I couldn’t blame Kimberly for burping.
After an hour and a half of eating and chatting, we’d ordered a few sides and some baklava for Jonathan, set them in the backseat and started off for Red’s Security Cameras.
Though we were on the verge of doing something that was probably completely illegal, I felt incredibly relaxed. In fact, more relaxed than I’d felt in a while.
I leaned back in my seat, watching the road ahead while Kimberly drove and toyed with a strand of her hair.
“Dude, that food was good,” Kimberly said with her typical enthusiasm.
“Wasn’t it?” I agreed. “At first I was like, “Is the food really as good as I think it is, or am I just glad to not be eating dinner alone?” But then I looked at you wolfing down your falafel platter like someone had threatened to steal it from you- and I realized it was that good.”
Kimberly smiled.
“Do you eat dinner alone a lot?” she asked.
“Yeah. I’m used to it,” I said. “But lately it’s been a little different, which made me realize how much I prefer, like sharing a meal with actual humans.”
She laughed. “Yeah, I guess human interaction is okay. Sometimes.”
“Only when there’s food involved,” I said. “Other than that, no thanks. Get away, humans.”
We both chuckled and I yawned, suddenly tired.
I leaned the seat back a bit and closed my eyes as I said, “My mom had a guy over yesterday. He cooked for us. It was weird. But, in a good way.”
“Oh, wow. That’s kind of a big deal,” Kimberly said. “What do you think of him? Is he good enough for her?”
I opened my eyes, reviewing my interactions with Van. He was certainly head and shoulders above the other losers my mom swindled. In fact, he was so nice that I kind of wished Mom wasn’t planning to steal from him...
“I like him,” I said, closing my eyes again.
…but beggars can’t be choosy. We have to do what we have to for the sake of survival. And sometimes that included taking advantage of hot guys who did nice things for women, like making them omelets and listening to them when they talked and possibly proving that not all men are douchebags.
I sighed.
“Libby?” Kimberly said. “Are you going to fall asleep on us during the heist? Cause that would be a little bit terrible.”
“It’s not a heist,” I pointed out. “It’s just us convincing some dope we need to watch footage from his security camera.”
“Oh no, girl,” Kimberly shook her head. “This is totally some Ocean’s Eleven through Eleven billion shiz going down tonight and…”
Kimberly’s phone rang and she accepted the call. It went to her car’s speakers and I opened my eyes as her mother’s voice boomed around us.
“Kimmy, where are you? It’s nearly seven o’clock. And I know you don’t have practice today.”
“I’m with my friend, Libby. We just grabbed some dinner and then we’re going to hang out for a bit.”
I smiled at the sound of the word friend. I loved it when she called me that. And maybe that made me the world’s biggest pansy, but it was the truth.
“Kimmy, no. Your Grandparents are coming over for dinner and you need to be here. I need you home no later than 7:45, no if’s and’s or butt’s and-”
Kimberly sighed and rolled her eyes. “Whatever, Mom!”
With this, she ended the call.
I tried not to frown as I watched her and thought two things:
If I ever even silently thought to myself, “Whatever, Mom!” while my mother was speaking, she would someone know and proceed to verbally rip me a new one before grounding me for approximately the next eighty years. And,
Who hangs up on their own mother?
Kimberly balled up her fist and hit her steering wheel as she cursed.
Only then did she glance at me and blush, a sheepish look on her face. “Sorry about all that, I just really wanted to be in on this tonight.”
“I understand, no worries.”
“But I still want to be in on everything,” Kimberly said. “So, let’s meet tomorrow morning at Marvin’s Diner so you can tell me everything that happened.”
“Uh, okay,” I said, trying to remember where Marvin’s Diner was. “What time?”
“Like 7ish.”
“Okay,” I slowly said, wondering if she was planning on skipping school again.
As important as this case was, I didn’t want to get in the habit of skipping school.
“So,” she said with a sigh. “Are you going to be okay doing this alone with Jonathan tonight?”
I gulped, my mouth dry with nerves and a twinge of hope unfurling in my gut.
I hadn’t even thought about that. Without Kimberly, I’d be alone with the boy of my dreams.
“Yeah, that’s fine.”
Kimberly arched an eyebrow. “Just promise me you won’t spend the entire evening silently staring at each other in sexually-frustrated angst. Can you promise me that?”
I punched her in the arm and she laughed.
“Sexually frustrated angst?” I repeated with a roll of my eyes. “No one’s frustrated, no one’s angsty, and no one’s going to be thinking about sex. You couldn’t be more wrong.”
***
Actually, I couldn’t have been more wrong.
The second Kimberly pulled off and left me at Red’s Security I found myself unable to look Jonathan in the eye. He, too, seemed uncharacteristically jittery.
With as much awkwardness as humanly possible, he’d handed me a store uniform and directed me to the bathroom where I could change.
Telling myself to stop overthinking everything, I plopped the Red’s Security baseball cap that Jonathan had given me on top of my head and looked at myself in the bathroom mirror.
The red and black t-shirt with a Red’s logo on the right side of the chest was a men’s Medium and it fit perfectly, which depressed me a little. The black pants were a tad too large, but they worked. I looked like a Red’s Security employee.
With this, I opened the bathroom door.
As I stepped out into the store, I spotted Jonathan at one of the large windows near the front door. He was flipping the “Open” sign to “Closed.” For a moment, I just stood there watching him.
This may sound strange, but one of the things I liked most about him was the way he looked from behind. And I don’t mean that in a booty-stalking way. I mean, I liked that I could see those dark brown and auburn streaked curls at the nape of his neck, that sun-kissed olive skin, and that unique set of broad shoulders, and without even seeing his face, I knew who he was. He was my Jonathan. And every time I saw him from behind, I couldn’t do a thing to stop the involuntary smile my lips would create.
Okay, I’ve been staring at him for too long. Two more seconds and I’ll be a bonafide creeper.
I cleared my throat and Jonathan turned to me.
“Do I look official now?” I asked.
He looked me up and down and smiled. “You look p
erfect.”
Trying to ignore the full-bodied blush inspired by his approval, I swung my arms back and forth and made my way towards him.
“So, I guess we’re ready then?” I asked, making myself look him in the eye.
“I guess. I can’t believe I’m actually going to do this,” he said with a shake of his head and a stilted chuckle. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “But, yeah. Let’s get this done. I’ll just grab my keys and lock up.”
A twinge of guilt crept into my conscience.
“Jonathan,” I said, taking a step towards him. “If you don’t want to do this, I understand. I don’t want it to be like I’m …pushing you to do something you don’t want to. We don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”
He looked at me carefully, not saying a word for a moment, just watching me.
I wondered what he was thinking. Is he going to back out? Will I have to do this all by myself?
He shifted on his feet, and met my eyes as he finally said, “You’re doing the right thing by helping this lady, and I wouldn’t be a friend, or a good person, if I didn’t support you. So, I’m in. A hundred percent.”
Relief nearly overwhelming me, I grinned. “Good… um, good, then. Great.”
After this eloquent response, I realized I was blocking Jonathan and stepped aside.
He, simultaneously tried to walk around me and we ended up face to face again, still blocking each other.
He laughed and pointed to his left. “I’ll go that way. Okay?”
I nodded, still grinning.
As he walked off, I turned around and watched him saunter away.
Kimberly’s words came back to me. She’d said my coldness was the reason Jen had been able to swoop in and steal his attention and I began to wonder if she was right.
Or was Jonathan just a really nice guy? And maybe any really nice guy would’ve agreed to do this with me?
Deep in thought, I crossed my arms.
If I’d learned one thing from my dad leaving us and from nearly every experience my mother had with guys, it was that when it comes to men, you were always safer when you assumed the worst.
I took a deep breath and told myself Jonathan wasn’t doing this for me, but because he was a decent person. With this, I shoved thoughts of romance aside and focused on the only thing that really mattered- finding out who took Farrah Duncan.
