by Anna Stone
“Why don’t you just text her yourself?” Jess asked.
“Because it would be weird. She’s the one who always contacts me.” Mel knew how flimsy an excuse it was.
“So you’re supposed to sit around and wait for her to booty call you?” Jess peered at Mel from over her sunglasses. “That’s pretty cold.”
“It’s not like that. She’s not like that.”
“Then what is it? Are you sure you’re not just afraid of putting yourself out there?”
“Well, maybe a little,” Mel said. “It’s complicated.”
“Only because you’re making it complicated. Just call her!”
Mel sighed.
“Besides, she could just be busy. Didn’t you say she has a demanding job?”
“Yeah. Maybe you’re right.” In the past, Vanessa had gone for long periods without contacting Mel because of her busy schedule. But after the intimacy of that night at Lilith’s, Mel felt like things between them had changed. That they had grown closer. “Honestly? I’m a little worried that I scared her away. Everything seemed fine when I talked to her the next day, but now…” Mel trailed off. It was all too familiar. She’d gotten too close to someone. She’d shown them her vulnerable side. And then they’d discarded her like she was nothing.
Mel banished her thought. Vanessa wasn’t Kim. And this was not a relationship.
“Why do you think you scared Vanessa away? Did something happen?” Jess asked.
“It’s hard to explain.” Mel considered her friend carefully. Jess wasn’t shy when it came to her sex life. And Mel trusted her. “There’s more to it than what I told you. Promise me you’ll keep an open mind?”
“Sure. I’m as open-minded as they come.”
Jess listened silently as Mel described the events of that night. When Mel reached the point when she and Vanessa had gone up to Mel’s apartment, Jess interrupted her.
“Oh yeah, subdrop.” Jess propped herself up on her elbow. “It makes everyone feel needy and depressed. It’s totally normal.”
Mel gaped at her.
“What, Vanessa didn’t explain it to you?”
“She did. I didn’t know you were into that kind of thing.”
“Don’t look so shocked, Mel. Do you think you’re the only girl who likes getting tied up and spanked?” Jess grinned. “Anyway, it sounds like Vanessa knows what she’s doing. Aftercare, checking up on you in the morning—it’s pretty important. So I doubt something as common as subdrop fazed her. You have nothing to worry about.”
“You’re probably right.” Mel turned to her friend. “So you’ve experienced it before? Subspace? Subdrop?”
“Yeah, a few times. Not for a while though. Unlike you, I don’t have some rich Domme lover who owns a BDSM club.” Jess sat upright. “Wait. The club Vanessa took you to. Was it Lilith’s Den?”
“Yeah. Do you know of it?” Mel asked.
“Of course. Everyone in the BDSM community has heard of it. But it’s very exclusive. I’ve never been inside. Wow. So Vanessa owns Lilith’s.” Jess looked off into the distance. “I wish I had a girlfriend like her.”
“Just don’t tell anyone, all right? She is very private about the fact that she owns the place.”
“Yeah, no problem.”
“And she’s not my girlfriend.”
“Right. You just have an intense connection with her, you’re exclusively seeing each other, and now you’re going crazy because she hasn’t texted you in a few days.”
“It isn’t like that,” Mel said. Weren’t all those things just part of the kinky game that Mel and Vanessa were playing? Mel suddenly remembered something that Vanessa had said as they drifted off to sleep that night. I would do anything to keep you from hurting. Had Vanessa really said that, or was it a dream?
“I wish I had someone who I felt as strongly about as you do with Vanessa. I spent most of my weekend dodging Brett’s calls.”
“What? I thought you two broke up?”
“That was Brendon. I only just started seeing Brett. He’s way hotter. Not much upstairs though.”
Mel raised an eyebrow.
“What?” Jess shrugged. “He makes up for it in other ways. It’s too bad he’s as vanilla as they come.”
Mel shook her head. Her phone buzzed. A text message. A slow smile spread across her face.
Tomorrow night. My room at The Lounge. After your shift. Another message followed shortly after. I’m sorry that I’ve been out of touch.
“Lemme guess? Vanessa?”
“Yep,” Mel said. Vanessa hadn’t given an explanation. But she had apologized. And something told Mel that Vanessa didn’t apologize very often.
“Told you.” Jess lay back down and pushed up her sunglasses. “Nothing to worry about.”
Chapter Thirteen
“Mmmm…” Mel lay on the king bed in Vanessa’s room above The Lounge, her hot, sweaty limbs tangled with Vanessa’s. A pair of handcuffs lay discarded on the bed beside them. Mel closed her eyes and let out a long, slow breath.
The last few hours had silenced all of Mel’s doubts. She had been right that the night at Lilith’s Den had changed everything between her and Vanessa. Only it was for the better. They were more attuned to each other somehow, more connected. It was subtle but unmistakable.
“What are you smiling about?” Vanessa asked.
“I feel like I’m on top of the world right now.” Everything in her life was running smoothly. Law school. Work. Even her modest social life. For the first time in as long as she could remember, she was completely stress-free.
Vanessa smiled and got up from the bed. “Drink?”
“Sure.” Mel watched Vanessa walk over to the counter. She still found the sight of Vanessa’s soft, white curves mesmerizing. Vanessa poured two glasses of whiskey and returned to the bed. Mel loved the taste of whiskey now. The way that every sip flooded her body with a pleasant warmth reminded her of Vanessa.
Vanessa’s phone rang. She looked at her cell, then quickly turned it off. She placed it aside and sat back on the bed.
Again? This seemed to happen a lot. When it did, it was like Vanessa’s mask would slip. She’d get a phone call. She’d ignore it. And she’d continue as if whatever it was hadn’t bothered her. But she always seemed slightly rattled afterward. Mel couldn’t help but wonder what could possibly shake someone like Vanessa. Despite their growing closeness, Vanessa was still mostly a mystery to Mel.
Vanessa reached out and swept a lock of Mel’s unruly hair out of her face. “It’s your birthday in a few days.”
A knot formed in Mel’s stomach. “How did you find out?”
“It’s in your employee records,” Vanessa said. “I couldn’t help but take a look. Do you have anything planned?”
“Not really…” Like every other year, Mel had been planning to let the day pass without telling anyone.
“That means I get you all to myself,” Vanessa said.
Mel stared down into her lap.
“What’s the matter?”
Mel shrugged. “I don’t really like birthdays.”
“And why not?”
Mel gathered up the satin sheets around her and pulled them into her lap. “They’ve always been… disappointing for me. It was just me and Mom growing up, and she wasn’t very good at that sort of thing. If she remembered at all.”
“I’m sorry. That must have been hard,” Vanessa said.
“It’s no big deal.”
“So your birthdays were disappointing in the past. They don’t have to be in the future.” Vanessa placed her glass down on the nightstand. “Let me give you the birthday you deserve. Let me spoil you.”
Mel hesitated. “I don’t know…”
“Please?” Vanessa gave Mel a pleading look. Coming from Vanessa, it looked ridiculous.
A smile broke out on Mel’s face. “Okay. But nothing over the top.”
“Then I’ll cancel the helicopter ride.”
“Very funny.” Mel s
moothed out the sheets in her lap. “That was a joke, right?”
Vanessa shrugged. “Maybe.” She placed her hand on Mel’s. “I promise you. I’m going to make your birthday unforgettable. You’ll love it.”
Mel sighed. Vanessa had even more of a disarming effect on her than before. But it seemed to Mel that Vanessa was letting her guard down a little too.
Vanessa took Mel’s glass and placed it on the nightstand next to her own. “You’re the only person I’ve ever had to beg to let me spoil them.” She pushed Mel down by the shoulders, straddled her body and pinned her wrists above her head. “I think you need a reminder of who you belong to.”
“Happy birthday, Mel!” James said.
Mel looked at her watch. She hadn’t even noticed that it was past midnight. “Thanks,” she said quietly. Like Vanessa, James must have found out from Mel’s employee records.
“What are you doing to celebrate?”
“Just spending time with… a friend.”
“That’s all?” James shook his head. “Why don’t you come out for drinks with everyone after we close? Consider it an impromptu birthday party.”
“I don’t think so. I’m not big on birthdays,” Mel said.
“Okay, how about this, I won’t even tell anyone it’s your birthday. As far as the others will know, it’ll just be the usual after-work drinks.”
Mel hesitated. She had been working hard lately. And she didn’t have class until the afternoon. It couldn’t hurt to have a little fun.
“Come on, Mel!” James said. “Just this once. Live a little.”
Mel held up her hands in defeat. “Sure. Why not?”
“Great.” James leaned down against the bar. “So, how do you feel about dancing?”
“Don’t push your luck.” Mel grabbed her tray and walked off, knowing she was going to regret her decision in the morning.
A few hours later, they had closed up shop, and James, Mel and a handful of her coworkers were hanging out in a seedy bar a few blocks away from The Lounge. It was one of the few places that was still open.
“Mel!” James yelled. “Dance with me. It’ll be fun.”
“How many drinks have you had, James?” Mel asked.
“Not nearly enough.” He stood up. “So, are you coming?” He cocked his head toward the ‘dance floor’ that the group had made by pushing some tables to the side.
“No thanks,” Mel said for the tenth time since they’d arrived. “But you should go ahead and join the others.”
“Come on, show me your moves, Mel.”
Why did James want her to dance with him so much? Mel let out a heavy sigh. “Look, James. You’re a great guy, but I’m not interested in whatever it is that you want…”
James looked at Mel blankly. Then he burst out laughing. “Did you think I was hitting on you?”
Mel’s face flushed. “Well, you’re always so persistent…” Mel frowned. James was laughing a little too hard.
“Oh, man.” His chuckles died off. James sat back down. “Sorry. Believe me, I’m not into you that way. I’ve just been trying to get you to come out of your shell a bit. You don’t talk to anyone at work, so I figured you could use a friend. That’s it.”
He did have a point. Mel wasn’t very sociable when it came to her job.
“Besides, I’m gay.” James settled back in his chair. “You of all people should have a much better gaydar.”
“What? How do you know that I’m gay?” Mel asked.
“I know about you and Vanessa, Mel.”
“How? Did she tell you about us?”
“Nope.” James grinned. “But you just did.”
Mel cursed under her breath.
“I had my suspicions. Vanessa and I have known each other since she opened The Lounge. She hired me herself. After working with her for so long, we’ve gotten to know each other pretty well. I figured that there was something going on between you two, but she didn’t seem inclined to share, so I didn’t press her. You know how private she is.”
James and Vanessa were friends? Vanessa never talked about her friends, but Mel had assumed that they were more like the kind of people who went to The Lounge, not the kind that worked there.
“But it’s pretty obvious.” James scratched his chin. “After that incident with that asshole customer, Vanessa became very interested in you. She kept asking me questions about you, and would conveniently only come in on nights when you were working. And then she started sneaking you up to her room above The Lounge late at night.”
Mel flushed. She thought they were being discreet.
James smiled. “I think you’re good for her. She seems happy. She hasn’t been in a relationship since Rose.”
“Hold up. We are not in a relationship.”
He raised an eyebrow. “If you say so.”
“I’m serious! We’re just having some fun, that’s all.”
“Okay, okay. You can call it whatever you want.”
Mel scowled at him.
James took a gulp of his beer. “So, is she as bossy in bed as she is at work?”
“I am not discussing that with you,” Mel said. She was saved from further questioning by the return of two of her coworkers, Ella and Christine. She didn’t know them very well, but they seemed close to James.
“So, how are things going with Ben?” Ella asked James.
“Ben?” Mel said. “You mean that Ben?” She gestured toward the other end of the bar where Ben was standing.
“Yep,” Christine said. “They’ve been flirting for months. We all saw it coming a mile away.”
How had Mel never noticed that there was anything going on between them? As the conversation continued around her, the handful of drinks she’d drank began to kick in. And Mel realized that she had been walking around with her head down for a long time now. She looked around. What else had she missed? She barely knew her coworkers. Or had any real friends other than Jess. Was Jess right about Mel shutting everyone out?
“So are you and Ben a couple now?” Mel asked.
“Yes. No.” James rubbed his beard. “We haven’t talked about it yet.”
“James? Are you blushing?” Mel asked.
“No.” He crossed his arms.
“See, it’s not so fun when you’re the one getting interrogated, is it?” Mel said under her breath. Apparently, not quietly enough, because the next thing Mel knew, all the attention was on her.
“What does that mean?” Christine looked at Mel. “Do you have a juicy secret to share, Mel?”
“She sure does.” James got up. “Why don’t you tell them about it while I go find Ben?” He shot Mel a mischievous look and headed to the bar.
Half an hour and several drinks later, James returned. Ella and Christine had finally left Mel alone after she had given them just enough information about her ‘mysterious lover’ to sate their curiosity.
“I’m going to kill you, James,” Mel said.
“Sorry, Mel.” He didn’t look the slightest bit apologetic. “Those two are relentless when it comes to gossip. I had to get them off my back.”
“You owe me big time.”
“That’s fair.” James sat down across from her.
Mel leaned forward. “You can make it up to me by telling me all about Rose.”
“Rose? Did I mention her?”
“You said she was Vanessa’s ex. What happened between them?”
James lowered his voice. “It was a while back. I don’t remember how they met, or how things started. All I remember was that they were hopelessly in love. You could tell just by looking at them.”
“Vanessa? Really?” Mel couldn’t imagine Vanessa being overly affectionate like that, especially in public.
“Yep.” James was oblivious to the hint of jealousy in Mel’s voice. “Vanessa was a different person back then. And they seemed so happy together. But one day, out of nowhere, something happened between them. And then Vanessa basically disappeared for a few weeks. When she came b
ack, she said that she and Rose were done. And that Rose was on her blacklist, and banned from ever coming to The Lounge, or anywhere near Vanessa.”
“Wow. Do you know why they broke up?”
“Nope. She refused to tell anyone what happened. But whatever it was, it changed her. She became a bit more reserved, more serious. And since then, she hasn’t let anyone get close to her.” He took a swig of his drink. “Except for you.”
Mel sat back. The world was starting to spin. She tried to sift through everything James had told her in her head, then gave up. She didn’t want to think about any of that right now. Mel just wanted to enjoy herself.
Out of nowhere, Ben appeared at the table.
“Hey, Mel.” He held out his hand. “Wanna dance?”
Mel grinned at Ben. “Sure, why not?”
“Whoa, seriously?” James said. “I’ve been trying to get you to dance this whole time, and Ben asks you once and you say yes? I’m crushed, Mel.”
Ben sighed. “Should we take him with us?”
“Probably. Come on.” Mel grabbed James’s arm and pulled him onto the dance floor.
Chapter Fourteen
Mel picked up a pillow and squashed it over her head. Her ears were ringing, and her limbs felt like lead. She groaned. Why had she agreed to go out last night after work?
The last thing she remembered was dragging James onto the dance floor. Everything after that was a blur. Mel rarely drank enough to actually get drunk. She didn’t want to end up like her mother. But she had really let loose last night.
The ringing continued. It wasn’t in her head. She rolled over to her nightstand and picked up her phone. “Hello?”
“Happy birthday, Melanie,” Vanessa said.
“Thanks, Vanessa.”
“Still recovering from last night?” There was a hint of amusement in her voice.
“Ughhh.” Mel sprawled out on her bed. “How do you know about that?”
“James. I woke up to a long and interesting voicemail from him. He’s quite talkative when drunk.”
