by Eva Brandt
“That’s what we said last time,” Yeqon whispered. “We didn’t have a choice because we had to obey Lucifer. But it’s not really true, is it? There’s always a choice.”
We all fell silent, almost staggering under the weight of our own guilt. It was true. No matter how much we’d have liked to deny it, this was all our fault.
We’d never set out to deceive Delilah—or Satan, for that matter. When we’d met her the first time, she had been so different from any other woman. She’d taken our breaths away, and we’d have gladly sacrificed our lives if we’d thought it could save her.
But we’d known better than to entertain such foolish hopes. Satan had been inconvenient for everyone. Too powerful to be completely contained, too important to be left alive, she’d never had a chance. The only thing we’d been able to do for her was to end her suffering before it got much worse.
I was pretty sure that at one point, Lucifer had suspected us of divided loyalties. But I’d managed to circumvent that when I’d asked to be in charge of Satan’s execution.
He’d never realized that I’d done so specifically because I cared. If anyone else had swung the blade, they’d have drawn it out, prolonged the whole process.
Or maybe that was what I was telling myself because it was easier than having to accept my utter failure.
Did it even matter anymore? She was gone, and she wouldn’t be coming back anytime soon.
I must have said that out loud, because Michael spoke again. “I’m not so sure. It might be strange, but the injury you suffered proves she’s still around in one way or another.”
“That doesn’t really help us, though,” Azazel pointed out. “She’s still missing and without a physical body, it’ll be impossible to find her.”
“We had trouble even when she went to Chernobyl,” Yeqon offered. “Without Demogorgon guiding us, we’ll never track her down.”
It wasn’t an accusation, but Michael still crossed his arms over his chest defensively. “I had no choice but to banish him. He was feral. He never would have helped us.”
“I know that, Michael,” Azazel offered. “It’s just frustrating to be in this position.”
I listened to their debate and considered my options. It seemed to me that there was something very important that hadn’t occurred to them. “You’re missing the bigger picture here. Even if we do find Delilah, what then? What guarantee do we have that she’ll even want to come back?”
It was just like in the situation with Delilah’s parents, except worse. The demons could expose the St. Johns to countless tortures, and it would still be far easier than what Delilah had been forced to go through.
The others froze. “W-What?” Yeqon stammered.
“Think about it. If I’m not wrong, she must have remembered at least bits and pieces of what happened in her past life. That alone would be damning. Then, there’s this whole business with the pillar of salt. She blames us for it, as evidenced by my burns.”
“That doesn’t mean she’ll just give up,” Azazel protested. “Like Michael said, if she was powerful enough to help Cain in Sodom, she’s likely clinging to her previous plan.”
“Why would she even work with him, though?” I asked. “It doesn’t make any sense.”
“Of course it does,” Michael answered. “She still wants to help her parents and she doesn’t trust us. The idea of having an ally, even one such as Cain, appealed to her. And that’s exactly why I think she’ll stick around.
“Delilah never wanted to live, not really. Her soul carries too many scars for that. But she dug her heels in, and it was in part because of her parents.”
He paused and took a deep breath, as if bracing himself for something he didn’t want to say. “This will be difficult, but I think as long as the St. Johns are in The Infernal Realm, we’re not at risk of losing her permanently. I think it might be better to leave them there.”
I stared at him in disbelief. I could see his logic. Archangels didn’t love a lot of people, but when they did, it was even more dangerous than the affection of a demon. Of course Michael would prioritize Delilah over everything else.
“Delilah won’t be happy about that.”
“No, she won’t,” Michael agreed. “But this isn’t about her survival at all, or at least, not in the way you think.
“Here’s the thing, Sariel. If I’m not wrong, Cain turned to Delilah for a very specific reason. He needed to go to The Shadow Realm. You must have sensed it too.”
I had. The symbols Cain had drawn were almost identical to what Lucifer had used when Alyssa had been kidnapped.
“Delilah is a primordial soul. It makes sense that, after her death as Satan, she’d have gone to The In-Between.”
My mind went blank. In hindsight, it should have been obvious, but I’d always been under the impression that Satan’s soul had been cleansed and thrust into the cycle of rebirth instead. Meeting Delilah had confirmed that, or so it had seemed at the time.
“Are you sure?”
“I’m not, no, but either way, we can’t take the chance. If Delilah is absorbed into The Shadow Realm, we’ll have bigger problems than her physical death. Her soul might die and there’s no coming back from that. Not ever.”
Shit.
* * *
The realization of how bad our situation was didn’t help us any. Metatron was still angry with us, which meant that we were still not allowed to leave on patrol. We were forced to wander around the academy like ghosts, while everyone else returned to The Mortal Realm.
We couldn’t discuss the issue of Delilah’s parents again. It was much too dangerous. We’d gotten away with it so far because Sandalphon didn’t have the time to be as watchful as he used to be, but we couldn’t rely on luck for much longer.
Unfortunately for us, the only plan I could come up with was far riskier than a simple conversation. But we had no other choice. Even if we were punished for it, we had to take a leap of faith.
That brought us, once again, to the Watcher Academy version of the Dead Sea. My fellow Watchers and I usually came here to think about all the mistakes we’d made in the past, about everything we’d lost and destroyed.
It was probably not a coincidence that Delilah had almost drowned here. But as much as that sucked, it could also help us now. Or so I hypothesized.
“Are you sure about this, Sariel?” Azazel asked me as we stood on the shore, watching the silent sea.
“Of course I’m not sure. But I’m all out of ideas.”
“I’m going to have to trust you on this one. Primordial rituals aren’t my thing.”
Yeqon knelt on the beach and brushed his fingers against the water. “I don’t know. I think it makes sense. And if we’re going to piss people off, we might as well go all out, right?”
“This isn’t about pissing anyone off, remember?”
“Yes, yes, I remember. How could I forget?”
How could we forget, indeed. It was a shame it had taken us so long to understand our own priorities.
“You realize this could backfire very badly, right?” Michael warned us.
“That’s why you’re staying out of it. If push comes to shove, you can try something different.”
Also, we could hardly involve Michael in this, when he’d been the one to banish Demogorgon. I still didn’t blame him and believed he’d done the only thing he could have, under those circumstances, but his actions had brought us to this crazy, frustrating situation. It was a good thing we were used to this bullshit.
Shifting into our Watcher forms came just as easily to us as it always did. We’d always told Delilah that we were comfortable with the transformation, but that was only half-true. The reality was that, in many ways, we preferred our cursed shapes. The moments when we were with her were the exception, but now, she was no longer here.
As we all turned into giant eyeballs, Michael took a few steps back, giving us room to work. He still wasn’t thrilled with this idea, but he didn’t stop us.
; “Be careful. If this ritual works, chances are you’ll have a fight on your hands.”
“We know,” I replied. “But Demogorgon is loyal to Delilah.”
“He knew she was Satan and that we were the ones who’d killed her,” Azazel pointed out, waving a tentacle. “He gave us a chance anyway. That has to count for something.”
“If you say so.” Michael took a deep breath and produced his fiery sword. “All right. Here we go.”
A sharp discharge of divine energy emerged from his blade and struck the water. This recreation of the Dead Sea wasn’t real, but it responded to Michael regardless.
An explosion shook the whole area, the salt water reacting to the extreme heat Michael summoned. I hadn’t been sure this would happen, since The Celestial Realm didn’t always obey the laws of physics. But in this, we got lucky.
In the ensuing whirlpool of unleashed energy, my fellow Watchers and I focused on the ritual I’d come up with. It wasn’t anything complicated. Primordial rituals never were.
They required two simple things—raw power and the willingness to sacrifice yourself for your goal. We had that in spades.
Summoning my magic, I reached into the water, seeking the traces left behind by Delilah. They were barely there now, her magic almost completely absent. But what I did find was enough.
Delilah had always had a strong connection to her underlings. Sometimes, I wondered if that was exactly why they’d decided to betray her, because they’d been unable to withstand the suffocating power of that bond. But Demogorgon was different, and through her, it was easy to track him down.
The world blurred, and with it, so did our bodies. The magic of the ritual threatened to shatter me, but my cursed form was resilient. The combined divine and infernal energies of this shape withstood the fury of the unleashed primordial energies.
Bruised and battered, but in one piece, we followed the path the ritual guided us on. As the wild portal raged, I willed it to obey my commands.
“You have no right to come looking for aid,” it told me.
“Maybe we don’t, but when has that ever stopped us?” I replied.
“Primordial souls aren’t your tools. Our chosen deserves better.”
“Yes, she does, but that won’t make us stop looking for her,” Yeqon shot back.
“Selfish fools. You’ll only destroy yourselves if you continue on this path.”
“We’ve destroyed ourselves for far less,” Azazel pointed out.
It was true. For so long, our commitment to Lucifer and his cause had been our guiding light. We’d told ourselves we’d done the right thing in following him, even when it had forced us to hurt a woman who’d become so special to us. But it had been so much easier to cling to our loyalty than to accept that we could have made a different choice.
“But you don’t really regret it, do you?” the magic accused. “You’re still loyal to Lucifer.”
No, we weren’t, but I didn’t think the source of the voice would believe us, so I didn’t reply. I expected the primordial ritual to retaliate at my lack of cooperation. Instead, the energies started to fade and I landed hard, on a rocky, unforgiving surface.
My experience as a warrior helped me recover quickly. The first thing I noticed was that I was no longer in my cursed form. I’d shifted back into my angel shape, although it was a little different from the one I used at the academy.
Because of the damage I’d taken in the Battle of the Watchers, I’d always experienced mild phantom pains. My companions were in the same situation. Lucifer had done his best to fix that and his efforts had helped. But thinking back, it was only when we were with Delilah that we managed to forget about our problem.
I’d have liked to think my shift meant she was here somewhere, but I knew better. And when I took a more careful look around, I realized why.
As the fog left behind by the primordial energy cleared, the sight of The Infernal Realm became visible. It wasn’t just any part of it, though. We weren’t that lucky.
Right now, we were in the Fifth Circle of Hell, the Circle of Anger, where Satan had made her last stand against Lucifer’s armies. In fact, that was exactly what was happening in front of our very eyes.
Hordes of demons and fallen angels clashed against each other. The demons were empowered by The Infernal Realm, so they fought more fiercely, their wounds healing faster than the angels could inflict them. But some infernal beings weren’t on the side of their official leader at all.
High Lord of Hell Mephistopheles led one of his legions in battle, and his attack broke the ranks of the defense forces. “My lord Mephistopheles!” I heard a demon shout. “What—?”
The demon never got the chance to finish his question. With a flick of his tail, Mephistopheles decapitated him. He didn’t even look at the body as it fell.
“Spread out. Make sure Satan doesn’t escape. We have a deal with Lucifer to keep.”
I was tempted to attack him, but my body moved without my consent. Suddenly, my companions and I were flying elsewhere, into a different part of the battlefield.
As we moved, we had to fight our way through countless demons. Harpies lunged at us and fell to our fiery blades. Hell hounds tried to rip us to pieces, but were blasted aside. It was unnerving, because I wasn’t in control of my own body at all. I was only a passenger, there to watch as my physical form betrayed me.
My experience with being a Watcher came in handy, and I didn’t hate the whole thing as much as I should have. I was able to take refuge in the presence of my fellow Watchers. But that could only help me so much, and it didn’t take us long to reach the part of this battle I was most dreading.
After having gone through countless demons, we finally caught sight of Lucifer. He wasn’t far from us now, and he was fighting a beautiful demon woman.
They were more or less evenly matched. Lucifer was one of The Supreme Being’s most gifted warriors, but Satan’s primordial power compensated for that. It helped that unlike Lucifer, she wasn’t wielding a sword. Instead, she had chosen a whip as her weapon, which meant she could attack better from a distance.
Lucifer had his fire blasts and could use his feathers, but the way she fought made it tougher for him to move around.
Our bodies rushed forward, ready to intervene in the battle and help our leader. We were too far, though, and someone else stepped in. It was Beelzebub. As one of Lucifer’s closest lieutenants, he was never too far from our ruler. But I didn’t completely trust him. His loyalty to Lucifer was fickle and I suspected that, in the long run, he could turn on us just as easily as Mephistopheles had turned on Satan.
For the purpose of this battle, he was on our side. While Satan was paying attention to Lucifer, he sneaked up on her. Several things happened at the same time. Satan’s whip flew through the air and struck Lucifer head on, nearly taking off his wing. Lucifer staggered back and clutched his wound. It was a serious injury, but not one that would have normally crippled him.
His behavior got Satan to drop her guard, enough that she didn’t watch her back as closely as she should have. And that was when Beelzebub made his move.
A sharply aimed bolt of fire unerringly flew toward Satan. Satan caught sight of it at the last moment, but it was too late for her to completely avoid the attack. She dodged, but the blast still grazed her.
The divine essence of Beelzebub’s magic made all the difference in the world. Satan didn’t scream, but she did lose her balance. Her wings twitched in pain and her hold on her whip faltered.
It was only for a moment, but Lucifer didn’t need more than that. His counterattack was swift and brutal. Moving so swiftly he was a blur, he pounced on her, relieving her of her weapon and pinning her down.
She fought back, of course. She wasn’t out of the battle yet, and the ground of The Infernal Realm still spoke to her. But it didn’t reject Lucifer either. He lifted his blade, preparing himself to stab her.
He wouldn’t kill her. She would live on for a while longe
r, a captive of Lucifer. As I watched the scene, I remembered all of it. I remembered what had happened after this horrific battle. And even if this was only a memory, I knew I couldn’t let it happen again.
My head clear and just like that, I could move. I had no idea how it was possible, but I couldn’t have cared less. I had to save her. I had to save Delilah.
The others had the same idea. In fact, Yeqon was even faster than me. With a roar, he shot forward like an arrow of fire. Lucifer didn’t see him coming, perhaps because he hadn’t the first time. Yeqon barreled straight into him, sending him flying away from Satan—from Delilah.
To make sure the situation didn’t get away from us again, I dealt with Beelzebub. I wasn’t as lucky as Yeqon. The power that had created this place retaliated against us, and Beelzebub reacted to my attack, becoming far more than an unpleasant ghost from my past.
“Well, well. How unsurprising. It looks like, once again, the traitors have chosen to betray. I won’t be as forgiving as Lucifer.”
I wanted to tell him forgiveness had nothing to do with it, but at the same time, a group of demons appeared out of thin air. Azazel intercepted them, but they were still a threat.
Not bothering with further conversation, I lunged at Beelzebub. On a good day, I could probably beat him, but this wasn’t a good day and I wasn’t sure how the ritual would affect our fight.
As it turned out, Beelzebub was hit harder by the nature of our current environment. He might have spoken directly to me, but he was only a shadow of the former Prince of Gluttony. I was able to deflect his magic with my blade and tried to decapitate him. He dodged, but the blow still left a thin trail of blood over his neck.
I pursued my advantage and continued my relentless attack. Beelzebub tried to protect himself with his wing. He was more successful this time, as for some reason, I was unable to slice through the appendage. Oh, I did some damage, but not as much as I should have.
After that, he tried to sneak under my guard, kind of like he had in Delilah’s case. But I refused to be defeated so easily. Making my sword melt away, I tackled him. Despite all the magic he put into his wards, my weight and momentum were enough to make him fall. When he hit the ground, he tried to roll away, to blast me, to hurt me. Some of his fire hit its target, but I ignored it.
