by Frey Ortega
It was something to be thankful for—something he should have possibly talked to some kind of therapist for, as well, and he probably would have done that if things hadn’t gotten so crazy, so quickly—that he was beginning to feel a little bit saner. Maybe even a little bit more normal, whatever that meant.
He was also thankful for the fact that for the first time in some time, he wouldn’t be wobbly, or swaying on top of a boat. Granted, it was a well-made boat—but the novelty of being in a luxury yacht had worn off long ago.
“Are you ready?” Elijah asked, pulling Bennett away from his thoughts.
The warlock nodded in reply. “Yeah,” he lied. The truth was that as relieved as he was to be on dry land once more, he was afraid of the consequences of him coming back.
People could get seriously hurt again because of him.
But Bennett pushed that thought away as far as he could, shaking his head to try and forcefully clear the thought from his mind. Instead, he focused on the way the boat slowly headed closer and closer toward the city.
Every day for the past three days, Julien and Elijah called each other for updates on what was happening. Still quiet, after all this time, it seemed—and although he was reluctant, Julien finally gave the go-signal for them to head back ashore.
“The Cleaners haven’t shown up since the last time,” Julien said. “I think it’s safe for you to come back home, if you want to. I’m sure you guys must be sick of being on the boat and out in the sea by now.”
Bennett felt a weight leave his shoulders at hearing those words. It felt like he could breathe a little easier, and he felt a tug at the corners of his lips at the hope that filled him.
“Can we really?” Bennett asked. His voice might have been a little shakier—a little more emotional—than he intended. He cleared his throat, trying to push back the emotions that threatened to surge out.
“We can’t keep you on that yacht forever. You’ll have to return sometime. Elijah wouldn’t survive a nomadic lifestyle. Besides, we need the both of you here,” Julien replied.
Elijah raised an eyebrow at that. “Need is a strong word. Are you sure you don’t just want me around so that I can clean up whatever mess Gage made to Pastiche?”
Julien chuckled. “It’s the one I used for a reason. And Gage is doing just fine.”
“Okay, fine. We’ll tell the captain immediately, then,” Elijah replied. “I’d like to be back home, for sure.”
“We’re happy to have you back. Both of you,” Julien said, quick to add that last part. “We’ll just have to be a bit more cautious. Elijah, I have something I want to discuss with you and the captain of the boat, so can you take this conversation there?”
“Sure thing,” Elijah replied. “You gonna be okay for a little while, baby?”
Bennett smiled. “Yeah. I’ll just watch a movie, or something. You both go ahead.”
And that was that. As soon as the two vampires had finished talking, it seemed they were set on the course of action to take.
Bennett didn’t really mind that they seemed to have things under control. That voice inside him doubting the sincerity of Julien’s words was still there, but it wasn’t as strong as it usually was. Maybe it was because Elijah was there, and Bennett could actually feel the emotions emanating from his mate like a beacon calling out to the skeptic within Bennett.
Now, the yacht he’d spent the past few days on was heading back ashore, and he was happier—more content—than he had ever been before.
Funny, how things could change within a matter of days. He didn’t—couldn’t—see the change subtly happening, not until he took the moment to really reflect on it. Hell, there might be some sort of magic on this boat, Bennett thought, but he knew there wasn’t.
Well, mating was a kind of magic. But not the kind Bennett was thinking about. No charm on earth felt the way this felt.
Maybe it was just the knowledge that for the briefest moment, in the middle of the sea, there was only the two of them.
Bennett felt a pair of strong arms slowly wrap around his midsection from behind. From the warmth he felt, Bennett could only assume it was Elijah.
Who else but his mate would be so affectionate, after all?
Elijah’s strong, solid chest pressed against his back, and Bennett couldn’t help but lean in. Elijah pressed a soft, stubbly kiss against his neck. Bennett turned to look up at his mate and smiled.
Elijah kissed him again, on another spot on his neck, and it earned a soft chuckle from Bennett.
Through their bond, however, Bennett knew something was wrong.
What’s wrong?
Elijah looked down at Bennett.
Bennett stared up at his mate.
“Baby, I have some bad news,” Elijah muttered. “We’ll be docking, but we won’t be leaving the boat. It’ll be just to restock and replenish for a longer trip. There’ve been some…new developments.”
Bennett blinked. “What happened?”
“I talked to the crew,” Elijah said as he stood up straight once more, wrapping his arms tautly around Bennett’s body. “They’ll handle all the unloading of supplies and docking. We just need to stay put. It shouldn’t take more than an hour to get it all unloaded, and for us to be back at sea. We might be taking longer. Our return trip has been postponed…indefinitely. Vadim has some promising leads, and it’s led him to some fascinating new developments. One that might help rid everyone of the Cleaner problem. Possibly forever.”
Bennett nodded. “Okay.”
“Okay?” Elijah repeated. “I thought you would be more upset than that.”
Bennett shook his head. “No. I understand. Honestly, I’m thankful for the time we spent here,” he said. “I think I really needed to catch my breath. It’s allowing me to see things more clearly. But maybe a little part of me is scared of coming back with danger still lurking around the corner. I can’t bear hurting more people.”
That’s an understatement, Bennett thought. I don’t know if I can handle all this death anymore. All this pain…just because of me.
Elijah pressed his lips together into a slight frown. Maybe he caught that little quip from within their mating bond. Or maybe that was just Elijah understanding the emotions on Bennett’s face.
“Yeah. I get that,” Elijah said, seemingly content not to call out Bennett’s inner thoughts. The vampire exhaled. “And to some extent, I agree. I think I needed to take a break, too. Between finding out you were my mate and all the craziness that’s happened, this seemed like the perfect little reprieve. I hardly want it to end.”
Bennett pressed closer to Elijah. The two of them stood in silence, wrapped in each other’s arms, as the boat slowly made its way back to the marina.
He knew that was a lie. Elijah was excited to get back home, get back to his status quo.
But he also wanted to remain here. With Bennett.
His mate was torn. Bennett didn’t know how to feel about that, but he was thankful for the vampire’s faithfulness and loyalty, even in the face of all of this hardship.
“Will Vadim be okay?” Bennett asked.
“He’s the strongest man I know,” Elijah replied. “And Julien has informed me that he’s asked to take an extended leave of absence from the coven to deal with this matter personally. He’s been unchained, it seems.”
“That sounds…scary.”
Elijah nodded, his shoulders tensing and his breath hitching slightly as he stared out into the distance. Bennett felt fear coursing through their bond. His mate was afraid for Vadim—but as to whether or not it was a fear for Vadim’s safety, or what the man was capable of, Bennett wasn’t sure.
Maybe it was both.
What Bennett did know was that this was the perfect opportunity to change the subject.
“When we get back to the city, are we going to stay with the coven?” Bennett asked. “I know it’s still a long time coming, but maybe it’ll help ease our minds a little to think about what we want for our f
uture?”
“I’d like to,” Elijah replied, finally exhaling. “Did you want to leave?”
Bennett didn’t know how to answer the question, honestly. He stayed quiet for a moment, and simply felt Elijah’s fingers caress his sides. There was no judgment—no negative emotion—laying just underneath the seemingly innocuous question. Elijah just wanted a truthful answer.
Bennett wondered why he went back and forth on this, and why his thoughts were a constant jumble. Yes, he felt like people were being honest with him, but he still couldn’t quite believe them.
Bennett knew he was broken. But was he broken beyond repair? Some people didn’t seem to think so.
But none of that was an answer. Not to the question that Elijah threw his way, anyway.
“No, I don’t want to take you away from your home,” Bennett finally answered. “I just want to be where you are.”
“But you also don’t feel any strong connection to the people there, the way that I do,” Elijah said, trying to fill in the blanks between what Bennett didn’t say.
Bennett nodded. “Yeah. You’re right.”
“Has this been weighing on your mind ever since our last conversation with Julien?” Elijah asked.
Bennett nodded once more, quiet as ever.
“It makes sense. You’ve only been with us for a couple of months, if that,” Elijah said. “Baby, I don’t want you to stay where you’re not comfortable. If you still don’t feel right staying with us in a few months, we can talk about it again?”
Bennett nodded once more. “You’re not mad?”
“Why would I be?” Elijah asked, raising a single eyebrow questioningly at his mate. “Baby, I know what you’re going through. I might not know all of the details, but I can feel your emotions whenever the thoughts come back. I know you want to get better. It kills you inside that you think you aren’t. It makes you feel even lonelier. Hell, sometimes it’s enough to hurt me too, knowing that these thoughts come back to haunt you over and over again. I know it’s hard for you to handle all of this alone, and I also know that it’s been difficult for you to open up to people or trust them after everything that’s happened.”
Elijah entwined his fingers with Bennett’s before he continued. “Believe me when I say that I know how you feel more than anyone else in the world. I’m your mate, after all. And being your mate, I also happen to know that while I can help, I can’t do all of the work for you, no matter how much I want to. I really, really wish I could do it all for you. All I can do is support you one hundred percent of the way. Whatever happens, I’ll always be here for you. I cherish you, and you mean a lot to me.”
It was almost like Elijah was about to say another set of words after that, but he didn’t. Bennett knew that the vampire might’ve wanted to, though. It lingered in his thoughts. It showed in the way Elijah’s arms tightened around him, and the way their bond felt like warm sunlight moving through Bennett’s body.
Bennett didn’t exactly know what to say to any of that. Between Elijah’s words and the emotions currently rolling through him, it was an overwhelming amount of support that he hadn’t felt in a long, long time.
So instead, he simply let the silence between them linger. He looked up at his mate and offered just the softest of smiles, making slow little circles with his forefinger on the back of Elijah’s hand. He leaned back against Elijah’s chest, and chose to focus instead on the warmth and closeness of Elijah’s body against his.
Elijah’s fingers continued to stroke his sides gently, and the vampire leaned in, once more, to press just the softest kiss against Bennett’s temple.
Nothing else needed to be said—but Bennett knew the words unspoken between them. I love you.
Their bond resonated with the same emotion right back.
“It might also be helpful if I met someone who I could talk to. When we’re able to get back, I mean,” Bennett finally said after a long moment. “Like a doctor. A psychologist, or a psychiatrist, even. Hell, maybe a healer. Maybe Miss Ifi can enter my brain and incept some new thoughts into me. You think maybe she could do that for me?”
Elijah raised an eyebrow. “I think that if magic like that existed, I’m sure it’d have been used and abused for centuries by now, and no one would have any need for therapy. You’d know more about that than I do, though. I’m just the dumb, but beautiful, vampire arm candy.”
“You’re the smart one between the two of us. Running a successful business for the coven and being able to handle all my issues and my moodiness?” Bennett smiled. “You’re a genius, as far as I’m concerned. But all that aside, maybe I really should look for a therapist.”
“Only if you want to. If you’re ready to. I think therapy over the internet is a thing now, too,” Elijah said. “I know how hard it is for you to let someone in. Hell, I don’t know how I managed. Maybe I was just the right mix of forceful to relaxed. Whatever it was that did it, I’m thankful for it, though.”
“The mating thing helped,” Bennett replied. “And the way that you could be so relaxed, and so confident, and know exactly what you want—from the world, but also from me. I know I can trust you wholeheartedly, and you never hide anything from me. Even when you do, I know for a fact that you would never do anything to hurt me willingly. But even so, you’re the exception, and not the rule. I…don’t want to keep the whole world at a distance. I don’t want to let the world pass me by. I’ve been feeling more things—more emotions—since we met. It’s just been really hard to let it all in.”
“I know,” Elijah said softly, leaning in to kiss Bennett’s temple. “And I wish I could help you more than I do, now.”
“You do plenty,” Bennett answered back. “I know you’re doing all that you can for me. I don’t expect you to take on more than you need to.”
Elijah shook his head. “I know. And I know you’re going to hate this when I say it, but relationships aren’t always about an equal fifty-fifty split of giving and taking. The moment we start listing things down and counting every little thing we do for each other is the moment our relationship fails. Sometimes, you need more. In the future, I might be the one to need more. Knowing that you’ll be there is enough to make me stay.”
“I would never hate you for saying what’s on your mind. But I do dislike what you just said,” Bennett said, as his lips quirked slowly upward into a smile. “Except that last part.”
“Yeah, but I still meant every word.”
As the boat steadily drew closer and closer to its inevitable destination, Bennett’s excitement—and anxiety, in equal measure—grew.
Although Bennett would never admit it out loud, a part of him wanted the Cleaners to just come out and attack him. At the very least, things would be over and done with by then.
The day wasn’t over yet. Maybe they would.
Was it wrong of him to want that?
Maybe it was.
He was mated now. He had more to live for. He had a future with a man who was so dedicated, so devoted, that Elijah had spent the better part of their time together just trying to woo him. Meanwhile, all Bennett did was wallow in his misery, and push everyone away.
In that moment, with his mate’s arms wrapped around him, the only thing he could do was savor their time together.
He didn’t want to push people away anymore.
He wanted to fight.
But most of all, he wanted all of this to be over and done with—in whatever way, shape or form that took.
And as his eyes drifted closed, Bennett was thankful for the warmth of Elijah’s body wrapped around him, protecting him—sheltering him.
One day, he knew, he would return the favor.
The End
Frey Ortega’s Other Books
Blanchard Coven:
Warmth of His Light
Blackrock Hollow:
That Damned Alpha
The Kindred Series:
Cyrus
Canute
Unit Alpha:
&
nbsp; Mercenary Trust
Mercenary Crush
Dragon Mountain:
Little Spitfire
Hidden Lake:
Safe and Sound
Right as Rain
Dance with the Devil
Caer Tarw:
Capturing His Heart
Answering His Song
Lykaios:
Theron
Lysander
Nicodemus
Into the New World:
Rude Awakening
Irrevocably Intertwined
Passionate Premonition
Heart’s Volition
Standalone Titles:
Play By The Rules
Be Mine
Like A Love Story
Trial by Fire
Falling for the Assistant
A Billionaire’s Gamble
Picking Up The Pieces
Author Bio
Frey Ortega writes erotic romance, primarily of the gay variety. She lives in what a friend affectionately calls "the south-easternmost part of Spain," which is an archipelago called the Philippines. She's a graduate of the Royal, Pontifical, and Catholic University in Manila, with a Bachelors of Science degree in Psychology. Primarily, she works as a writer, a novelist, sometimes a video game journalist, and overall a homebody who spends way too much time on the internet.
She loves writing about people, especially people of all different shapes, sizes and backgrounds, falling in love. You might also find him playing video games from time to time! His favorite ones are MMORPGs, and role-playing games in general (and not just the ones in the bedroom.)
Visit her website at:
http://www.freyortegawrites.com
Add her as a friend on Facebook!
https://www.facebook.com/freyortegawrites/
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