by Rae Foxx
I waved my hand at him. "Oh, that won't happen."
"Lilith." He put his hand on my leg. It felt strange to not be called the name I'd been born with. My human and eternal memories were fighting for room in my all-too-human head. "Lucifer has never lived this long. No Angel or Fallen has. Thirty-Five has been the longest recorded human life, and that was several hundred years ago."
I nodded. "I know, but it's a fluke. Something will happen and we'll go home soon." He was overreacting. "Can't we just enjoy this stolen time together until Lucian gets home?" I asked.
Gabriel squeezed my hand and smiled at me. "Lucifer. He's Lucifer, try to remember."
He was right. It was exceedingly easy to slip back into my Constance memories and let Lilith slip away. "Lucifer. Yes. Well, try not to worry, dear." I pulled my hand from his and stroked his cheek, desire blooming through me. I would've loved to have slipped upstairs and greeted him properly, but it didn't sit exactly right with Lucian's baby inside me.
Lucifer's.
"Oh, for the love of Abaddon," I cursed. "The baby."
Gabriel nodded. "I wondered how long it would take you to get there."
"How?" I asked, wrapping my arms around my stomach. "In the thousands of years I've been alive, all the times I've been human, I've never been able to get pregnant. Gabriel, how could this have happened?"
It had been a part of the Fall. When Lucifer and I abdicated our thrones and left the royal family, we'd been given edicts. One was that our lives would forever be tied to one another. The other was that we'd never be allowed to have children, neither of us. Not together, not apart.
Gabriel stared at my stomach. "That is something we need to find out."
While on Earth, Archangels and Fallen have no memories of their immortal lives.
5
"Have a good day. Try not to let it feel too much like a Monday." I handed Lucian his lunchbox and held out my cheek for a kiss. "I'll make steaks for dinner."
He hummed his approval, then bent over to say goodbye to the baby. "Bye, Turtle. Daddy loves you!"
The baby kicked up a storm in response to his voice. Lucian pressed his cheek to my bellybutton and laughed in delight when his Turtle kicked him in the cheek. "I love it." He pressed another kiss to my cheek and one to my lips, then walked into the garage.
I shut the door behind him with the irritating feeling that I'd been forgetting something important.
My video channel was sorely neglected, so I popped on the camera to get some content of a beauty box I'd received in the mail the previous Friday. That was probably what was bothering me. I'd been uploading far less content since hitting thirty weeks. Pregnancy was tiring.
After turning on all my special lights and setting up the beauty box to be unboxed, I flipped the camera on and smiled. "Heyyyy, guys!" I chirped. "Welcome back to my channel." I didn't do live videos, so I'd have to edit it down later, but I'd gotten good at staying relevant in what I said and did, so my process was streamlined. We'd converted half our office to a mini studio with a clean white wall behind me. It contrasted beautifully with my shiny black hair and reflected the lighting well. Lucian always enjoyed looking for new lighting, better cameras, and the like. He helped me edit when he had time, as well. I'd been teaching him and one day we hoped to do this full time. It would make parenting wonderful, being able to split the work because we were both home. Another year or so, and I was pretty sure we'd be able to do it.
I was halfway through showing the camera the contents of my new box, still ignoring the voice inside that tried to tell me I had more important things to consider, when someone snorted from the other side of the office.
A blond man had made his way inside my house without me knowing. I let the camera roll, figuring if he was planning to murder me, there'd be proof. "Who are you?" I demanded. "How did you get in here?" I knew for a fact I had locked the doors. And I'd heard the garage door go down, so Lucian hadn't left it up.
The blond rolled his eyes and sighed. "Really?" He wore a tailored suit and expensive shoes. I wasn't sure of the brand, but they weren't department store specials.
"Adam," he called. "Come in here."
Lucian's best friend walked in, and I relaxed and shut off the camera. "Adam, what's going on? Who is this?"
Adam looked at the blond with a puzzled expression. "I thought you unlocked her memories?"
The blond shrugged. "I did, yesterday afternoon."
I walked around my studio setup into the other part of the office where Adam stood near the desk with the handsome man. "Adam, tell me what this is about." I was pissed. First, I'd have to reshoot part of what I'd been doing, which sucked, because I'd been on a roll. Second, how had they gotten in? "Did Lucian give you a key?"
"Just do it again," Adam told the stranger.
The blond looked at me with sympathy in his eyes. "Sorry, Lil."
"Who is Lil?" I recoiled as he reached out and put a finger to my forehead, then shuddered when the memories returned. "Damn it," I muttered. I looked down at my human body and shook my head. "Fuck."
"How long after I left did you forget?" Gabriel asked.
"Not long," I said. Adam cleared his throat. With all the memories crowding in and then remembering that I was pregnant, and one hundred percent shouldn't have been, I'd forgotten he was standing there. "Michael," I whispered.
He grinned. "You can call me Adam. It feels weird to be Michael while human." He still looked like his ethereal self, without the ability to sprout wings. He held out his arms, and I gladly rushed into them.
"Now I know why you've acted so weird around me," I said. "The dancing?" I rubbed my cheek into his chest, recognizing his scent.
"I was hoping if you touched me enough, you'd remember," he admitted. I listened to his voice rumble. "But you didn't."
"Oh, you should've known," Gabriel said. I leaned back from Adam's arms and puckered my lips. Gabriel pressed a kiss to them, then deepened it. My body lit on fire, desire spreading. But I still wasn't willing to sleep with them, even though they were my eternal mates, without Lucian knowing. Especially given the pregnancy.
"Is this why you've been asking so many questions about the baby?" I asked. I had to pull away from both of them, or I was going to strip them naked and have my way with them, huge belly be damned.
"So, I take it since you didn't remember, you didn't make any strides toward figuring out why you and Lucifer are still here?" Gabriel took my hand and we walked downstairs into the living room to sit together on the couch.
I sat between them and tried to touch them both at the same time. I needed distance to calm my libido, but no way could I let them get too far away while I had the chance to see them. "No, once you left and Lucian came home, I kept trying to remind myself, but it just kept slipping away."
I crinkled my nose. "Sorry."
Gabriel leaned over and pressed a kiss to my temple while Adam stroked my knuckles with both of his thumbs. They crowded closer. "Damn, I've missed you," Gabriel said.
"Me, too." Adam put his arm around me, and I shifted to lean against him.
Gabriel pulled my legs up into his lap. "It took me a while to find you. My Earth cycle always ends up off-kilter from yours, but I try to keep an eye on you while you're here."
Adam nodded. "I do, too. But they can't have both you and me on Earth at the same time." Adam, as I knew him on Earth, was the Archangel Michael, the leader of God's armies. And Gabriel was his right-hand man, along with Raphael. Raph and I had never gotten along, but Gabriel, Michael, Lucifer, and I had been bonded for several thousand years. Our bond had survived the Fall, even though God wasn't very happy about it. But He said He wouldn't interfere with love, even amongst his angels, and he left us to work it out the best we could with me and Lucifer living in Abaddon and Michael and Gabriel living in Elysium and fighting the good fight.
Humans. They'd messed with our entire infrastructure, but since we had to spend time as a human, we learned what it was like to
be human, truly human, and after that, we couldn't condone the options they were given. Lucifer and I had led the charge to convince God to change his ways.
He'd finally agreed, but it had come at a cost. Lucifer and I were charged with creating and maintaining Abaddon for all of eternity. We were no longer welcome in Elysium even though our entire life had been built there.
It was God's nature. He was forgiving, but there were always consequences. Our rebellion had cost us our way of life.
We'd made the most of it, with Lucifer creating purgatory so we could be with our mates.
Michael, and Gabriel. We'd been together so long it was like second nature. Being on Earth always threw me off when I remembered, because while on Earth, I always ended up with Michael or Lucifer, never Gabriel. He and Michael never had their Earth-cycles at the same time, and I ended up on Earth with them every time.
I sighed and leaned my head back on Adam. Michael. Damn, the human memories were making it all so confusing. "I've never had both memories while in my human body," I muttered as I enjoyed the closeness of my mates. "My ethereal body is better equipped to hold them all."
"I struggle occasionally," Michael said. "Sometimes I'm only Adam. I just have his memories and his personality, but most of the time I remember being me."
I twisted on the couch and looked at my handsome mate. He had features so delicate and pretty I could make him into a gorgeous woman with my knowledge of makeup. He kept a scruff, though, and I knew it was because he'd always been told he was pretty. Everyone had insecurities, even the Archangel Michael.
His brown hair was straight. "Why isn't your hair curly?" I asked. It was always curly.
He grinned and gave me a bashful wink. "I watch your beauty blog."
My mouth dropped. "You're joking."
Gabriel snorted. "I do, too, but I haven't tried out any of her techniques."
Michael shrugged. "I tried the straightening thing with that one brand you like best, and I like the way it makes my hair look."
I ran my fingers through his silken hair, loving the feel of it against my skin. "I'll have to do a blog on you for the male fans."
Adam arched an eyebrow. Michael. "I hope we won't have time to do that. Now that you remember, let's see what we can do to get Lucifer killed and go home."
Dread shot across my chest. "What are you talking about?" I bolted upright and struggled off the couch. One of them put a hand on my back and pushed, which I appreciated, but was too distracted and alarmed to thank them. "Kill Lucian?"
As I turned around, Gabriel held out his hand. I put mine in his, but kept my eyes narrowed. "Lilith." He said my name with emphasis.
"I know who I am. This human brain has a hard time separating emotion between me and Constance, though."
Gabe nodded. "I know, and it's okay. We're not upset with you at all, but we have to kill Lucifer. He has to go home."
"He is home," I protested, even though I knew he wasn't. "Everything is good here. You can come visit me when he's at work. When he's himself again, he'll understand. It's not like cheating."
Though, the Constance in me worried that Lucian would find out while he didn't have his Lucifer memories. Me being near these two men, that Lucian had no idea were his eternal best friends, would break his heart.
"I told you yesterday why we have to figure this out quickly."
The gates. "I remember." The gates were weakening. If they fell, it would be Hell on Earth. Literally. "But surely we have a little time?" I rubbed my protruding stomach as Turtle kicked. "At least until I have the baby."
"Lilith, that's another thing we must discuss. How you're pregnant and what it means for the baby. Is it human?" Adam held his hand out.
Michael. Damn it. I couldn't get it straight. "I don't know, but Lucian can't die before I have the baby. You know what happens when Lucian dies."
Gabriel and Michael nodded in unison.
"I refuse to let anything happen to Lucian." I was being stubborn, but damn. They didn't understand at all. "You two have been busy lately. I know you are best friends, but you don't know how Lucifer has been. Not all of it."
Tears filled my eyes as my Lilith memories of the past few centuries drifted to the surface. My human hormones didn't help a damn thing either. "You've been spending a lot of time on Earth, doing angel shit."
"It's our job," Michael said. "We're supposed to help humans find their way to God and Elysium."
"I know, but that means you rarely spend time with me and Lucifer day in and day out. You get to pop in for a few days, relax, wine and dine me and have fun." Admittedly, that time with them was fun, but our relationship dynamic had shifted. "You spend increasingly long amounts of time away, missing how Lucifer has changed. He must seem the same to you, but to me, someone who sees him every day, the shift is palpable."
Michael's face darkened. "What do you mean?"
I gave him an exasperated look. "In all the centuries, all the times you've been on Earth with Lucifer, has he ever been like this?"
Michael went silent. His eyes roamed the room as he thought about my question. "No, you're right. He's different this time."
It was growing easier to filter through all my memories as both Lilith and Constance. Pieces were falling together, giving me realizations. "He's not this guy. This guy, Lucian?" I stepped away from the couch and looked at the photos on the walls. "Look at this. He was valedictorian." I pointed at another photo, blown up. "Here's where he won the golf championship at the local country club."
Turning back to my mates, I held my arms out. "Country club, guys. Country club. Lucifer Morningstar doesn't frequent country clubs."
That was more of an Adam thing. Michael. I blew out a breath of exasperation. He was always Adam when on Earth. In fact, he'd been the Adam. Eve had been the first real human when it came right down to it. And all the rumors about Lilith being Adam's first wife were my fault. Eve saw me visiting him. Adam hadn't seen me, but she had, and bam. The world's first rumor.
Of course, Adam and Eve weren't the first humanoid creatures. God had been experimenting with humans for a very long time. They were simply the first homo sapiens. The rest is history. Bloody, violent history.
Humans bred like bunnies. Once Adam and Eve had their kids, God banned any angel-human bambinos. Of course, they still existed. Hello, legends about Nephilim. They existed in secret, on the DL. But two angels, on Earth as humans having a baby, never happened as far as I knew.
Which made my pregnancy even more puzzling. Lucifer and I had been cursed to never procreate, but when human, no angel was allowed to. I didn’t even know if they were able to.
If God found out, He'd be so pissed. And He'd probably find out. He always did.
"Okay," Gabriel covered his face. "What a fucking mess."
I grinned. Gabriel had such a potty mouth for an Archangel. I loved it. "Lucifer is acting like Johnny Boy Next Door, you're pregnant, and both of you should've died years ago. Is that the extent of it?"
Considering what I could remember, I thought that was it.
"I think?" I shrugged. "Who knows?"
"Someone has to have done all this to you two," Michael said. "Lucifer is not acting like himself. I can't believe I didn't see it years ago. He's more likely to be in a seedy bar than a nightclub."
I sighed. "Now that I remember it all, the way he is here on Earth is amazing, so different than before. He's attentive, loving, and worries about my needs. In Abaddon, he'd been letting the chaos get to him. Being in charge of all the sinners and tempting the wicked was getting to his head."
"Come sit," Michael said. I settled beside him again and Gabriel grabbed my legs. He slipped off my shoes and rubbed my feet.
"I'm sorry we didn't see it before." Michael wrapped his arms around me. "The job must be getting to him. If this break on Earth doesn't give him the reset he needs, tell us. We'll make sure he gets some Angelic interaction to help combat the stresses of the job."
I sighed and sank i
nto them. "Thank you. It was getting to me."
As long as they didn't do anything drastic until I had the baby, we could figure it out. Once I delivered, we could make sure the baby would be safe or take Turtle back with us, depending on whether he or she came out human or angelic.
Only time would tell.
6
Gabriel stopped in again every day this week when Lucian went to work. Adam came by as well, but not as often, as he had his human job to maintain. I missed him when he didn't come with Gabriel. I'd never been able to spend time with my mates on Earth, not all three. It had always been one at a time.
And never in this lifetime.
Every time Gabriel or Adam was near, they tried to convince me to kill Lucian, but I couldn't get them to understand how I felt about the baby. To them, it was simple. The baby would be born, I'd die and go to Abaddon, no big deal. They meant well, but they weren't fathers, not yet. They couldn't understand how I could be so attached to a child that wasn't even born yet. I had news for them. We'd been a team for several thousand years, and we'd be a team in this too. Lucian may have fathered this baby as a human, but they'd all be helping me take care of it. Whether that meant finding a surrogate family to raise it or helping me raise it themselves.
If they did something that ended up harming this baby, I'd kill them. With my bare hands. Or maybe use a spoon.
"Gabe," I said nearly a week later. He'd been hanging out with me all day and spent half the time trying to convince me to kill Lucian. His pleas fell on deaf ears with me. "You've got to wait for the baby to be born. Full stop."
"Lil." He was growing testy with me. "You don't see how bad it is. The gates are crumbling." He'd said it before, several times.
The Gates of Abaddon were both physical and metaphysical. They held the realm of Abaddon closed, and only the Fallen and some of the higher Demons were able to go in and out on their own. A physical gate guarded the entrance to the realm, and the condition of the metaphysical was reflected there.
