‘And do you remember anything about the portholes in the ward, Smith?’
‘It’s a blank, Matron. I went straight to my cabin and gathered my belongings, as you instructed, but I took too long because I went back to get something I’d forgotten. You chastised me, as I recall, because we missed our lifeboat. Nevertheless, they made room for us on Lifeboat 2, Matron. I fell from the boat and almost drowned, but later, when I was back in the boat, I spotted Corporal Perkins unconscious in the sea. I pointed him out and he was rescued.’
She nodded. ‘Good, that will do. You realise you saved his life? Don’t forget to tell them about the blood transfusion. Another few minutes and his heart would have failed. Also, I’m reminded that inadvertently you saved our lives by causing us to miss that first lifeboat.’
I made a little nod. A great weight lifted from my shoulders, so suddenly I almost lost balance. Tears sprung to my eyes, which Matron, who never missed a thing, noticed. ‘It will be all right, Smith, and the sooner this is dealt with, the sooner we can get back to our jobs. The past only has one purpose: to teach us not to make the same mistakes again.’
I wanted to turn and run away – flee from everything. The air around me was filled with my panic, my mouth wouldn’t work, my brain was so confuddled that even my eyes wouldn’t focus. Matron placed her hands on my shoulders, keeping me still while she stared into my face.
‘Let me repeat that, Smith. The important thing to remember is: what has already happened, cannot be changed. However, the future can. We must strive to be the best people, the best example of prudence possible, in all things, from this moment on. Try to remember that, every day, on your walk through life, Miss Smith.’
I couldn’t help myself; I leapt forward, flung my arms around her and gave her such a hug. ‘I will, I promise I will. Thank you, Matron, thank you!’ I gasped.
‘Decorum, Miss Smith,’ she whispered. ‘Now, off to your hotel for an early night, then the inquiry tomorrow. I’ll see you there, don’t be late.’
*
I hoped with all my heart Father would come to Portsmouth. As soon as we got to our third-class room in the Sea Shanty Hotel, I posted three letters to Manno, and organised a telegram to my parents:
In Portsmouth for Britannic inq. on 14th. Hope home soon. Gertie.
*
The morning I’d dreaded had arrived and even my most fervent prayers would not stop the day progressing. Everyone’s future depended on my answers in the inquiry. I had to think before I spoke, and lie convincingly for the sake of those on whom this country depended. Too many lives were destined to be lost because of HMHS Britannic’s sinking, but many more sick or wounded would perish if the Britannic’s senior medical staff lost their jobs because of my actions. They would be held responsible, I knew that.
However, I couldn’t think straight, and my hands were trembling. In the mirror, I saw dark circles under my eyes and thought I looked half dead already. What was the penalty for lying under oath to a British Naval Tribunal? Probably death.
‘I’m so afraid,’ I whispered at breakfast.
‘Why should you be afraid if you don’t remember anything?’ Josephine said firmly.
It became apparent they were all playing the same game, to protect me. I owed them so much. At the town hall, we sat in a corridor and waited, my hands spread on my knees like pale, wasted starfish. Merriberry joined us. She peered into my eyes and said, ‘Remember the blood transfusion, Smith. It’s important.’
She was called into the room where they held the inquiry. There must have been another exit because she never reappeared.
Josephine and I sat in silence although my stomach made terrible gurgling noises.
‘You don’t remember anything then, do you?’ she whispered when the silence became unbearable. ‘Only what you had for breakfast, and giving blood to the dying soldier, right?’
I shook my head. ‘Not a thing.’ Even as I said it, I wanted to confess. But Josephine, Matron, Staff Nurse, and perhaps even the Ship’s Medical Officer might all lose their jobs in disgrace for leaving a trainee in charge of the ward. If I could take the entire blame, then I would, but I could not drop those who had placed their trust in me, in the mire.
‘That’s the spirit. Not surprising after all we’ve been through.’
*
I heard distant talking, then footsteps on the parquet floor. Two figures came around the corner, a man, and a woman. The woman was Matron Merriberry, and a moment passed before I realised the other was my father. My heart pounded with relief. I leapt to my feet, about to rush into his arms, when Josephine placed a hand on my arm.
‘Steady now. We’ve got nothing to get upset about, have we?’ A man stuck his head out and called Josephine into the inquiry. ‘You can’t remember,’ she said quietly one last time before leaving me.
I nodded, stood, and smiled as Merriberry and my papa approached. ‘Hello, Father,’ I said. Though the corners of his mouth twitched upward, he appeared tired. ‘Thank you for coming to meet me.’ I kissed his cheek. His dull eyes crinkled as he smiled.
‘It so happens I was in the area on some business,’ he said. ‘A coincidence that means we can travel home together after the hearing.’
‘I can’t wait to see Mother. It’s been so long.’
Merriberry turned my way. ‘You’ll be given the statutory leave after a sinking. You have thirty days with your family, Miss Smith.’
She tugged her tan cape around her body, reminding me of a brown cocoon our Arthur once kept in a box in his bedroom, waiting all winter for the beautiful creature to emerge the following spring. It didn’t. I couldn’t help thinking that Merriberry would never emerge as a butterfly either.
‘Miss Smith, please!’
The call came from behind me. Merriberry placed her hand on my shoulder. ‘Gertie, they will understand. It’s normal to forget what happened after such a traumatic event. Relax now.’
I nodded rapidly, glanced at my father, then walked stiffly into the inquiry.
Inside the oak-panelled room, I was reminded of our courthouse in Dover. Six rows of spectators were tightly packed along the back of the hall; before that, men with notebooks scribbled frantically and I guessed they were the press. Before them, a row of men in uniform, and I dared not scrutinise their faces in case our captain was among them.
The official led me to a pulpit next to a row of men who had piles of documents in front of them, and a stenographer who recorded everything. My poor heart was thumping like the blazes. They made me swear to tell the truth, then asked me to repeat all the events of that day, starting with me waking up.
I told them everything in the most minute detail, and noticed some roll their eyes when I said I should get a new toothbrush because my bristles were becoming sparse.
‘The problem is, I can’t remember anything after leaving my cabin,’ I said with conviction. ‘It’s all such a blank. As far as I can guess, it was the same as every other morning.’
‘Do you remember what you had for breakfast?’ one of the men on the bench asked.
I remembered Matron’s words. Why would she make such a point if not for me to repeat it?
‘Oh, yes. We had brown bread with raspberry jam.’
‘So what time was this, Miss Smith?’
I’d walked into a trap and knew it immediately. ‘I’m not sure, sir. In fact, that might have been the day before. We had the same breakfast every morning. The events of that day are all blurred. I was very frightened.’
‘Were you in the dining room for the surgeon’s meeting?’
‘I can’t remember, sir.’
‘Do you remember what he spoke about?’
‘No, sir. It’s all a blank.’
‘Where were you when the alarm went off?’
‘I can’t remember, sir.’
He sighed loudly. ‘Did you open the portholes, Miss Smith?’
‘It was forbidden to open the portholes, sir, so I can’t imagine why I w
ould do such a thing.’
‘Yes, it was forbidden; but did you?’
My face burned. He knew, I sensed it. I couldn’t lie under oath. ‘I can’t remember, sir.’
‘You really expect us to believe you don’t remember doing something that caused too many horrible deaths, and needless maiming?’
‘Yes, sir. I mean, no, sir.’
‘So which is it? Did you open the portholes?’
‘I can’t remember, sir.’ My tears rose and I tried hard to keep my voice even. ‘I nearly drowned, sir. I was pushed up from the deep by a dolphin . . . everyone saw it. I can’t remember much else apart from saving Corporal Perkins. He was bleeding to death in the water.’
‘So, let me see if I have this straight. You were on duty that morning and you cannot swear that you didn’t open the portholes, an action that forced the Captain to sound abandon ship; an action that rendered the Britannic’s double hull and watertight doors useless, and caused the ship to sink faster, before she reached port; an action that led to the deaths of many brave soldiers, sailors, and medical staff?’
I lost track of his question and didn’t know if I should answer yes or no. They saw through me, saw everything I was done for. ‘I can’t say anything for sure, sir, because I can’t remember all that happened that morning.’
‘I see. So, you may have opened the portholes?’
‘I can’t say, sir.’
‘If you can’t remember, then you may have opened the portholes, is that right? Just answer yes or no.’
‘Yes, sir.’
He sighed loudly. ‘Yes, what?’
I flinched. ‘Yes, I may have opened the portholes, sir.’
‘At last! Thank you, you may go.’
*
Outside the town hall, Josephine, Matron, and Father stood side by side staring anxiously at the entrance. As soon as I appeared, they strode towards me.
‘How did it go?’ Father asked.
I shook my head. ‘I don’t know. I told them I couldn’t remember, but they went on and on until I don’t know what I said.’
Matron and my father exchanged a worried glance. ‘No use fretting about it now,’ Father said. ‘Let’s go and eat, then start on our journey home. I don’t like to leave your mother alone after dark. There’s a Naval Train that runs, Portsmouth-Brighton-Dover. If we hurry, we’ll just make it.’ He turned to Merriberry. ‘However, Matron, can I offer you some refreshment before we leave?’
Her cheeks turned pink and she stammered, lost for words! ‘I . . . well . . . that would be lovely, but I think you’d be wiser to buy some food and drink to take onto the train, Dr Smith, to be sure it doesn’t leave without you.’
He made a little bow. ‘I want to thank you for letting me know about the inquiry, dear lady. You’ve been very kind,’ Father said to her, deepening the blush in her cheeks.
She appeared flustered and said, ‘Sorry to leave you, but I have an urgent appointment. Miss Smith, I have a little book I wish to lend you, in light of your recent work in the theatre. Please return it to me next time we meet. In the meantime, read as much as you can.’ She handed over a brown-paper package tied with string. ‘Safe journey to you both.’ She turned quickly and rushed away.
‘She seems a good woman,’ Father said, watching her go. ‘Now, as we walk to the station, tell me again what happened in the inquiry, and Matron’s right, we’d better step on it.’
*
We boarded the train at one o’clock and dismounted at supper-time, taking a horse and carriage home. As we approached, my first thought was that there had been an accident, or perhaps even a bomb had fallen. A crowd of people stood in the lane outside our house. The police were there too, and people were shouting, though I couldn’t make out what they were saying. Someone threw a small rock at the house and a window smashed immediately taking me back to the terror of the Britannic, when the lifeboat smashed the glass hospital sign on the hull.
It was already too dark to make out who these people were, until one stepped forward, yelling directly right into my face.
‘You killed the only son I had left! He was fifteen! A sea scout with his whole life before him, and now he’s dead thanks to you!’ He up-and-downed my uniform with a glare. ‘Call yourself a nurse? You’re supposed to save lives, not murder the last of my boys because you can’t obey orders.’ He turned to the crowd. ‘This is what happens when they let women into the war! It’s a disgrace, she should be strung up for murder.’
My father put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me towards the garden gate. Someone threw an egg and by the strong fish stench that rose from the path, we knew it was bad.
‘Go inside and lock the door,’ Father said. ‘I’ll be in shortly.’ He turned to address our assailants.
‘Jacob Boniface, is that you? Was it not only two months ago I saved your daughter’s life and gave you a fine healthy grandson? Is this the way you repay me? Be aware that one day you will need me again, and when that happens, I’ll remember this night!’ There was a quieting of the throng. ‘What on earth makes any of you think my daughter had anything to do with the Britannic sinking?’
‘We’ve seen tonight’s broadsheet, so we know, Doctor. The newspapers don’t lie, do they?’
CHAPTER 43
SHELLY
Greece, present day.
AN ALARM SOUNDED AND A red light flashed over the monitors. Shelly jumped. ‘What’s happening?’
‘A problem in the bell, please step away,’ Carlos said, his voice tense.
‘I’m a paramedic, if you need any help,’ Shelly said, stepping back. Harry moved in next to Carlos.
‘What’s going on?’ he asked.
‘One of the divers, Matt, he’s lost consciousness.’ He turned back to the screens and adjusted the mic on his headset. ‘Guys, go straight into the Unconscious Diver Drill. I’ll talk you through. First, get any unnecessary gear off him. Making sure his upper body is in the airspace, then secure him to the side of the bell with the ratchet strap. OK? Confirm his airway’s clear . . .’
A bone-chilling scream came from the back of the boat.
‘I’ll check it,’ Shelly said, swiftly leaving the control cockpit. The moment she stepped onto the deck, the sight of Elias covered in blood made her heart thud. ‘I need help! Now!’ she yelled over the sound of screeching machinery.
Harry was beside her before she had reached his son.
‘The back of his sweatshirt’s caught in the recovery platform’s line cogs. It’s pulling him in. Turn it off!’ she yelled, horrified that it was about to cut him in half.
Elias, weakened by loss of blood, gave up pulling away from the turning mechanism. Shelly grabbed the knotted sleeves at his waist and pulled with all her strength. In a matter of seconds, the winching gear stopped and both Elias and Shelly fell into a blood-spattered heap on the deck. Elias was unconscious, blood pumping from his side. Shelly tore off her shirt, rolled it, and thrust it at Harry. ‘Press this against the wound with all your strength.’ Two of the crew had appeared. ‘You!’ she said, pointing at one guy. ‘Get the first aid kit.’ She pulled her phone out and pressed rapid dial.
‘Hello, this is paramedic Shelly Summer. We need an emergency helicopter ambulance for a patient who’s bleeding out on a dive vessel.’ She turned to Harry. ‘Blood group and age?’
‘O positive, twenty-one.’
‘Blood group: O positive. Our coordinates are: 37°42′05″N by 24°17′02″E. Twenty-one-year-old male with open wound to the torso. I can accompany him up, I’m experienced on a ’copter lift, so if you have room for one more, just lower the cradle and a safety line. We have divers down and there’s a critical situation below, so we need our aerials down for as short a time as possible. I’ll have all loose items removed from the deck and prepare for your arrival, OK? Over and out.’
Shelly called to the other crew member. ‘You! Move everything that’s not fixed down, below decks. And I do mean everything! We
don’t want anyone decapitated by flying debris from the downdraught. Quickly!’ To the other crew member, she said, ‘Go inside and tell them we need to lower all aerials for five minutes, while the ’copter hovers above us, OK?’
She pulled a sphygmomanometer out of the medical kit, and put the blood pressure cuff on Elias.
‘How is he?’ Harry asked quietly when she had taken his blood pressure.
‘Not good. He’s bleeding out. Keep the pressure on that wound or else he won’t make it.’ She took the pulse in his neck. ‘Very faint.’ She glanced at the horizon, it would be another ten minutes at least. Suddenly, Gran Gertie came to mind. She was right here with Corporal Perkins dying in her arms, and what did she do?
Shelly tipped out the first aid kit, snatched a catheter and two syringes. ‘Keep the pressure up!’ she ordered Harry. Within thirty seconds she had a transfusion going from her arm, into Elias.
‘The decks are clear, miss, what next?’
‘Bring me a chair to sit on, but shift it inside the moment you hear that ’copter, and when you do, lower all the aerials. Once we’re moving away, erect them again.’
Shelly felt slightly dizzy, but knew she had to stay strong for the helicopter lift. ‘We need to strap that pad to the wound to keep the pressure up while they lift him. A couple of wide belts will do the trick. Quick as you can, guys, ask the crew for any sturdy belts, we need to be ready for that ’copter!’
‘Leave the shirt in place and add the pad of gauze for extra pressure. It needs to be strapped very tightly in place.’ She felt the pulse in Elias’s neck again. ‘If I’m not mistaken, it’s no weaker. You can go, Harry. Find out what happened in the dive bell. You’re needed there, even though Carlos knows what he’s doing.’ She caught the distant thrum of the ’copter and nodded towards it. ‘Once I’m in there, I’m going to turn my phone off to save the battery. I’ll turn it on for ten minutes, on the hour, OK?’ Her head was spinning.
‘Shouldn’t you stop that now?’ He indicated the tube that had become a lifeline to his son.
‘Don’t worry, gravity is a very slow business. I only know about it because I looked it up, out of curiosity, after one of Gran Gertie’s tapes.’ She studied Harry’s son, who would almost certainly have been dead by now if it hadn’t been for that cassette tape and Shelly’s interest in all things medical. ‘Odd how things turn out, isn’t it?’
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