by Jo McNally
Mack leaned over to Dan when Nick and Cassie were out on the dance floor, cheek to cheek. “Are they the cutest couple or what?”
He gave her a bemused smile. “Yeah, I love to look at my friends and think how cute they are. Adorable, even.”
“Stop being such a Joe Cool, Dan. You keep forgetting I know there’s a heart in there.” She tapped her fingers on his chest, right over the top of one of the round buttons on his shirt. Before she could pull back, he grabbed her fingers and held her hand there.
“I’m sorry things got weird with us this week. I’m tryin’, Mack. It’s just these drugs are coming into town out of nowhere, and I can’t let myself be distracted. It’s my town...”
Mack stood, still gripping his hand, thinking of their first dance at the Chalet. “Come dance with me, babe.”
He stood but didn’t move toward the dance floor. “That won’t solve anything, Mack.”
She gave him a soft smile.
“It’ll make you forget, if only for five minutes.” She patted his chest again, this time over where his phone was tucked inside the jacket. “And you’re not in a dead zone here, so relax. You’re still on call, locked and loaded.” He hesitated, then nodded.
They’d barely taken a step when Sally Vincent from the post office stopped them. Mack always thought she was a sanctimonious old busybody. “Oh, Dan, you look so fancy in that tux! And Mack...” Her eyes took in the neckline on the gown. “You look...very daring tonight.” Sally turned back to Dan, clearly her target in this conversation. “I heard about Kyle Alderwood overdosing last week. How awful! Where are these drugs coming from? Are you close to solving it? Why haven’t you arrested anyone yet?”
Well, this wasn’t helping at all. Mack tried to intervene.
“Thanks for admiring my dress, Sally. It’s by Luis—”
Dan squeezed her fingers, talking over her. “Mrs. Vincent, we’re chasing down every single lead, and believe me, we’ll get the people responsible.”
Mack nodded briskly, trying to move Dan toward the dance floor. “Yes, he is working hard, but right now he’s—”
Sally held up her hand. “Look, Mackenzie, we all know you’re only here to help your dad. Lord knows your brother can’t. Not after he killed that Michaels boy.”
Mack couldn’t answer. Not without air in her lungs. Sally rounded on Dan again.
“I hope you solve this problem soon, Dan. The Alderwoods are neighbors of mine. Kyle is a friend of my grandson. Thank goodness he survived, but everyone’s very upset...”
“Yeah, well... I’m upset, too, Mrs. Vincent.” Dan’s voice sharpened, catching both Mack and Sally by surprise. “I’m really goddamned upset.” He jammed his fingers through his hair. “I said I’ll catch the bastards, okay? I won’t quit until I do.”
Sally looked at Mack, her lips pressed thin, then back at Dan.
“And you think the drug dealers are out on the dance floor?”
Dan released Mack’s hand like it was on fire.
“You’re right. I was here tonight for my daughter, but I need to get back to work.”
Sally just sniffed and walked away. Dan headed for the exit, and Mack had to move fast in her stilettos to keep up with him.
“Dan, it’s just one obnoxious old woman. Don’t...”
He yanked his arm away from her when they got to the hallway. He kept his voice low, but his anger made it heavy and thick. “Just one? Mack, that’s the third person to ask me about the drugs tonight. And who can blame them? People are dying and I’m here in this penguin suit sipping champagne. They’re right. I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t be with you. I’m dropping the ball and it’s...”
“And it’s my fault?” Mack glared at him. Enough was enough. She wasn’t going to be his scapegoat.
“No.” The edge dropped from his voice. “No, it’s not. Look, my job destroyed my first marriage, and it’ll do the same with us.” He dropped his forehead to hers. “I was right to back off this week. It’s hard for me to think straight around you, and now more than ever, I need to think straight.”
“You’re saying you can’t do your job and love me at the same time?”
He stepped back. “I don’t think I can, babe. I want to, but I really don’t think I can.” His devastated expression told her those words hurt him as much as they did her. He gestured toward the ballroom. “Those people are relying on me. They all remember what a screwup I was, and now they’ll think I’m one all over again. I have to—”
“Those people are killing you, Dan, and you’re letting them do it. Your job is law enforcement, but you’re a man who deserves to have love in your life. And you can do both. You made mistakes when you were a kid. So did Ryan. You have to stop taking responsibility for every bad thing that happens in Gallant Lake.” She put her hands on both sides of his face. She could feel him slipping away from her. “You’re a good man. A good cop. You’ll solve this. But you can’t carry the whole town on your shoulders. You need a safe place to rest.”
The hallway was silent and empty, with only the muted sound of music in the background. He stood there, eyes closed, as if absorbing her words and trying to hold on to them. She willed him to be successful. She needed him to believe.
“Dan, I love you. And you love me. That’s a good thing. The best thing. Let me be where you come to rest and laugh and love. To let go of the expectations and all the darkness with me. Let me be your safe place, Dan. Go do your job and know that I’ll be waiting with open arms and a glass of scotch. You deserve that. We both do.” She took a deep breath. “And if I’m not the one you can talk to, find someone you can talk to. A professional.”
She held her breath until his eyes slowly opened. There he was. The man she’d fallen in love with. The tender glow in those green-gold eyes of his. She saw a flicker of hope there. He was trying so hard to believe. She stared at him, silently pleading for him to accept her help. To accept her love.
“Mackie...” His voice broke. “I don’t know...”
“Yes, you do. You know. Let me in, Dan.”
He moved closer, his hand gripping her waist. Before he could speak, there was a commotion at the end of the hall. Nick West came rushing at them. Dan stepped back from Mack, leaving her feeling suddenly cold and lost. Blake Randall was right behind Nick. Both men looked grim.
“What is it?” Dan’s voice was all business now.
“We’ve got trouble.” Nick was talking fast. “Some guests got their hands on the tainted Oxy.”
Blake’s face was like thunder. “There are ambulances and state police out front, Dan. It was an overdose. At my hotel!”
Mack bristled. “That’s not Dan’s fault!”
Blake looked at her in shock. “I know that. Christ, I wasn’t blaming him, Mack. But this is a big damn problem, and he’s...” Blake looked at Dan. “You know this isn’t your fault, right?”
Nick, a former cop himself, shook his head. “We don’t have time to hold hands and sing ‘Kumbaya’ right now. We need to contain this. We don’t need the gala interrupted by flashing lights in the parking lot.”
Dan moved farther away from Mack. “Fatalities?”
Nick shook his head. “The guy was touch and go, but they should both pull through.”
Dan started walking away with Nick. Mack called his name. He stopped and turned back as if he’d forgotten she was there. Nick and Blake walked on.
“Mack, I gotta go.”
“I know you’re going. Just tell me you’re not leaving.”
* * *
Dan stared at Mackenzie, his heart heavy. She was everything. Everything he didn’t deserve and couldn’t hang on to.
“These drugs may not be my fault, Mack, but they are my responsibility. My community—my friends—are relying on me. If you can’t get that...”
She shook her head, refusing to li
sten. “I understand your responsibilities. But you’re letting everyone else define your success or lack of it. No one’s working harder on this problem than you.” She took his hand and squeezed, like a mother would to a child. “Trust me, I know from experience that you can’t make everyone happy. It’s impossible. You’ll lose yourself—”
He stopped her with a kiss. It was a dangerous move, because their kisses so often spun out of control. But this one was necessary. And sweet. And...final. He lifted his head and looked her straight in the eyes to leave no doubt to his words. He steeled himself against the tears he saw shimmering there.
“This job saved me, Mack. It’s who I am, so how can I be losing myself?”
Truth be told, he felt like he was losing himself right now. Losing himself in her eyes, which were quickly filling with tears. Why couldn’t she understand? His shoulders fell. How could he expect anyone to understand what he couldn’t fully understand himself?
He brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Maybe I am stretched too thin. I don’t think I can be what you need and what everyone else needs. I need my focus, and you’re bad for it.” Nick barked Dan’s name from the end of the hall, and Mack flinched.
“Are you saying I’m what needs to be out of your life?”
Dan looked at her with regret pressing him down like an anvil resting on his shoulders. There was a voice in his head whispering this was the wrong choice, but he dismissed it. He had to be able to control one effing thing in his life, and he could control this.
“I’m no good for you, Mack. Look at us. You told me once that it felt like I was using you. You were right. I am. And I love you too much to do that to you. You deserve better.”
“Dan...” His name came out on a breath. Her tears were ready to spill over, and he wasn’t strong enough to watch that happen.
“I’m no good for you, Mackie. I’ll ruin us one way or the other. If not now, then eventually.”
Her eyes went hard behind the tears, and she jerked away from him.
“You’ve been hiding behind your Good Guy Dan disguise for so long that you actually think it’s true.” She poked him in the chest with a brightly polished fingernail. “You’re a coward, Dan Adams. You’re afraid that wild, reckless kid you used to be is going to bust out, take over and destroy you. But you don’t have to worry about it.” She poked him again. “You’re doing a great job of destroying yourself, twisting yourself in knots, determined you deserve the worst. Which is a damn shame.” She backed away, putting her hand on her own chest as if it ached. He knew the feeling. But she wasn’t done with him yet. “That wild, happy kid is who you really are. But you’re killing him, and you’re killing us.” She pulled her shoulders back. “I can’t be the only one fighting here, Dan. That’s not the kind of adventure I came home for. If you’re too scared to believe in a future for us, then what’s the point?”
Her mile-high shoes clicked like gunshots on the marble tiles as she walked away and left him standing there alone.
Chapter Eighteen
Mack thought she’d braced herself sufficiently before knocking at Dan’s front door the following Saturday, but...no. She wasn’t at all prepared for the sweet stab of loss when he opened it. He stared at her in steely silence. He was in uniform, physically and mentally. One hundred percent pure cop. Annoyed cop.
“Mack, I don’t know what you want, but I don’t have time.” Even his tone was on duty—authoritarian and cold. He’d clearly made his decision on who he wanted to be. “I’m on duty in just...”
“Mackie!” Chloe came pounding down the stairs behind her father. “You remembered!”
Mack ignored Dan’s confusion and smiled at Chloe. “Of course I did. A deal’s a deal, right?”
“Right!” Chloe plunked down on the bottom stair and pulled on her sneakers. “Girl code.” She gave her father a disdainful look. “You wouldn’t get it, Dad. But when girlfriends make promises, we keep them. We’re going to find the old wishing well today, and then we’ll each make a wish and it’ll have to come true! Did you bring an old penny?”
Mack reached into her shorts pocket and pulled out the 1936 coin. “That was a great idea you had. It took some digging, but I found a treasure trove of them. Do you need one?” After searching the apartment for old pennies, she’d called her father. Turned out Cathy still had her old penny jar from when she owned the coffee shop, and it was loaded. So loaded that when Mack left, Dad was sorting them all out on Cathy’s dining table to see if maybe they were rich.
Chloe shook her head. “Nope. Mom’s boyfriend, Samir, had some. But now you can make more than one wish!”
Mack shook her head. “You can’t get greedy with wishes. The wishing well might get mad and not give us any.”
Chloe’s mouth dropped open in horror, but Dan spoke before she could say anything.
“What the he...heck are you two going on about?”
Chloe finished tying her sneakers and ran to Mack’s side, grabbing her hand. Mack gave Dan a cheery smile, hoping it wasn’t trembling as much as her heart was.
“You remember the story, Dan. About the old well up on the ridge, where the Gilford farm used to be? Stories say their well has the power to grant wishes. I was up there once as a little girl with Shelly, and we tossed in quarters and made wishes, but it turns out we were doing it all wrong.” She gave him a quick wink to let him know her speech was for Chloe’s sake. “Your daughter figured it out. She thinks maybe the well only grants wishes for pennies, and the pennies have to be from the years when the Gilford place was an active farm. The house burned down in 1945, so...” She held up her old penny. “We had to find pennies that were older than that, because that’s when the well was magical.”
Dan’s gaze went from the penny to Mack and quickly back again. He seemed distracted by her presence, and she had a feeling he hadn’t listened to a word she’d just said. This friend zone was new territory for both of them, and he was wearing it as uncomfortably as she was.
“Bye, Dad!” Chloe waved, tugging on Mack’s hand. “Let’s go!”
Dan shook himself out of whatever thoughts he’d been lost in and gestured to his daughter. “Hey—you’re not going anywhere without a kiss, kiddo. Come here.” Chloe obliged, but only long enough for her father to barely brush his lips on her hair before she was out the door. He straightened with a resigned half laugh. “Pretty soon I won’t get her to hold still for even that little bit.” He looked into Mack’s eyes. She wanted to ask for a goodbye kiss too, but she could see he was slipping into his protective cop-mode armor again. “It’s...nice of you to do this with Chloe...” He swallowed hard. “After...you know...you and I...”
For some strange reason, she felt compelled to come to his rescue. “There’s no reason you and I can’t be civil to each other, right? Or why Chloe and I can’t be friends.”
Dan’s shoulders dropped a bit, and there was a quick flash of sorrow in his expression before it hardened once again. “Right. Friends. Uh...” He straightened, reaching for his gun belt and avoiding her eyes. “Do you mind dropping her at Susanne’s when you’re done? She’s staying there this week.”
“Sure. No problem. I’ll text Susanne when we’re on our way. Should only be a few hours. I’d like to find the old well, but I have no desire to spend the entire day traipsing around the hills looking for it.” Dan nodded, busy buckling his gun to his hip. Mack couldn’t resist a little jab. “Look at us, all grown-up and mature, carrying on a casual conversation as if we...”
He met her eyes then, his angry gaze slamming into her as he barked a one-word command.
“Don’t.”
And there it was, all the emotion she’d been trying to convince herself she didn’t have anymore. “Don’t what, Dan? Don’t stop pretending that we’re suddenly just pals? Don’t act like I still love you? Don’t push you to admit you still love me too? What is it you don
’t want me to do, exactly?” Her words were low and sharp, just between them. “’Cause I’ve got a news flash for you—whether I’m your so-called friend or your lover, I still don’t take orders from you.”
He scrubbed his hands down his face, eyes squeezed tightly shut, lips pressed tight.
“Goddamn it, Mack. I don’t have time for this right now. I... I can’t do this, okay?” His eyes opened, his golden gaze level and cool. “It won’t change anything. We made our decision.” He looked out toward the street. “Chloe’s waiting. I gotta go.”
He ushered her out to the porch, then locked the door behind him. She wanted to argue. To rant and rave right there on the porch. But he was right about one thing—this wasn’t the time. So she followed him down the sidewalk to where her car was parked. Where his daughter was waiting. He rubbed his knuckles in Chloe’s hair, chuckling when she hollered in protest. Then he walked away.
“Do you think the wishing well will grant us anything we want?” Chloe jumped out of the car as soon as Mack pulled off the side of Marshall Creek Road, behind Gilford’s Ridge. Shelly had agreed with Mack’s memory that they’d found the well ages ago by coming up the hill from this direction, rather than from Ridge Road. There were some worn and faded no-trespassing signs on random fence posts and trees, but this was Gallant Lake. She knew pretty much everybody, or had at one time. It wasn’t like she and Chloe were looking to do any cattle rustling. They were just hiking. After covering each other in bug spray, they headed into the woods.
Mack finally answered Chloe’s question. “I don’t think the wishing well can grant anything we ask for like a genie in a bottle, honey. But sometimes the act of wishing and hoping for something specific can create the right energy in our lives to make it happen. Does that make sense?”
Chloe dashed toward the trees. “Not really, but kinda. I know what I’m gonna ask for. Do you?”
