by Andrew Grey
“Sure. I never got to go as a kid. We could never afford the trip to Florida or California, and the entrance fees, hotel, and all that. Mom and Dad always said that they weren’t interested and that we didn’t have the money for it whenever I asked, so I stopped asking.”
“Okay, then.” Meyer made the turn onto the I-5 South, and we ground through the city traffic toward Anaheim. “I took my nieces when they came to visit last year, and I have the Disney app on my phone. Go ahead and buy two tickets, then set up the FASTPASS for the rides that you want.”
I figured out the app and was able to make the purchases. “What rides do you like?”
“Get the big ones that you can. It’s tempting to get Pirates or the Haunted Mansion, but those lines go really quickly. Just pick the ones you think you’ll like, and we’ll go for it. Research the rides and have fun.”
I did my best and finished up as we pulled into the parking lot. I was excited, and the day didn’t disappoint. Meyer was a blast to be with. We got colorful MagicBands, his green and mine yellow, went on every ride, and when we got off, Meyer was just like a kid. I got some basic pins, and we traded them for some pretty cool ones with various Disney cast members. For a day, I could imagine what it was like to be a kid again.
“This is completely silly and so much fun,” I told Meyer as we got a Mickey ice cream bar. “Maybe a churro later,” I said, taking my first bite.
“You’re like a damn kid, and I love it. After the food, I’d say the teacups are out, but we should get in line for the Matterhorn. It’s a classic, and I love that ride.”
“I knew you would,” I told Meyer. “That’s why I FASTPASSed it. We need to be there in ten minutes.” I grinned, and Meyer bumped my shoulder with a warm smile. I knew he liked coasters, but the fun, interesting ones, not the big scary ones. “We can start walking that direction, finish eating, and then get in line.”
This really was the happiest place on earth, and I could certainly attest to that. Today did indeed feel like something out of a fantasy.
I drew closer as I finished my ice cream and half leaned my head against his shoulder. Meyer stiffened for a second and then relaxed. I pulled away, knowing instantly that I had crossed a line Meyer wasn’t comfortable with yet.
Meyer was quiet for a minute, and I knew I had added tension between us. Thankfully, it dissipated once we reached the attraction and entered the line at our appointed time. “I always loved this ride.” He had said it before, but Meyer was trying to break the silence between us.
“I remember watching some of the reruns of the old Disney specials when I was a kid, and I wanted to come here. I can’t remember how many times I asked Mom and Dad to bring me.” Of course, it had been futile, as were all things they weren’t interested in. As I got older, I found out that it wasn’t Mom so much as my father. He was as tight as a witch’s ass and didn’t spend anything he didn’t have to. Vacations were a waste of money if he had to stay in a hotel, so the only ones we ever got to go on were the kind where we could stay with family and friends. I also found out that after spending a week with my dad, their friends drifted away and weren’t so friendly any longer.
We scanned our bands, walked to the front, and boarded our bobsled pretty fast. “I’m ready for fun,” Meyer yelled like an excited kid, and I smiled as I held on, the sled lifting toward the top of the ride, which zigged, zagged, and zoomed, over all too soon, and then we were getting off and on our way to the next attraction.
There were many things I found I loved about Disney, and one of them was the park after dark, with all the lights, kids carrying balloons that blinked, and the lighted parade. It was magical and exciting, but what excited me more was when Meyer suggested that as soon as the parade started, we head somewhere else. I loved a parade as well as anyone else, but skipping it was a chance to avoid the crowds. The Haunted Mansion and other rides were deserted, spooks danced all around us, time and time again, before we left and had a pirate adventure.
By the time the park closed, we were worn out with fun, and Meyer drove me home. The two of us tumbled into the apartment, still laughing, with Rosco scolding until I fed him, even though he had plenty of food and was just pissed that I hadn’t been home all day. He stayed away as Meyer damned near made me scream like on one of those coasters, but with a very different, much more intimate sensation. Once we quieted, Rosco jumped on the bed and kneaded himself a space right near my feet before curling up to go to sleep, just like I did, only I was content to be held in Meyer’s arms.
The thing was, I could really get used to this. Meyer was familiar but exciting, and in my experience, that was a very rare combination.
I WOKE in the morning to sweet carried on the scent of coffee. I didn’t even know that there had been the ingredients in the apartment, but Meyer lured me out of bed with the scent of cinnamon rolls in the oven. I was alone in bed, so I got up and found Rosco curled up on the seat of one of the kitchen chairs, watching Meyer. It seemed Rosco had forgiven Meyer for his past transgressions. Or possibly my cat now associated Meyer with food. Either way, Rosco glared at me when I eyed his chair, and blinked and lowered his head rather than getting up off his perch.
“I thought we could go to the store today, maybe get a little lunch later, and for dinner I was thinking a Caesar salad, pasta with carbonara, and I can make a tiramisu for dessert.”
“Are you trying to spoil me?” I asked. Meyer knew my favorites, and he’d listed three of them.
“Maybe a little.”
It sounded like a quiet day—at least I hoped it would be—and I could use one of those. “I have to write a blog post today so I can stay out ahead of the curve. And I should do the winner’s post. Katy sent me the instructions for her winning mushroom dish, and I should get it written. I can save it and schedule it to post right after the episode airs.” I blinked and sighed, utterly content, especially when Meyer kissed me.
MONDAY MORNING, Meyer went home early. He said he needed to change, and that was undoubtedly part of it, but I was pretty sure he was also a little wary of being seen arriving on the set with me. After the mysterious stuff Ethan had told me, and assuming Meyer had gotten the same talk, I didn’t really blame him.
Felix talked almost the entire trip, and I engaged in conversation as best I could. But my mind was elsewhere, and I needed to get in to look at the schedule so I would know what was expected of me today. Felix dropped me at my trailer before seven, and I went inside and snatched up the timetable from the table. I blinked more than once as I read the words scrawled on the inside of the sheet.
I know your secret, and unless you want everything about your personal life sprawled over the entertainment pages, you need to pay attention.
I turned to Rosco, who was already setting himself up in his favorite perch. The damned cat just blinked back at me and was no help at all.
“Like I have any secrets.” I had never made any bones about being gay. But I wasn’t stupid and had a pretty clear idea that whoever wrote this note had no idea about that. “Don’t you just hate a blackmailer who doesn’t do his homework?”
Then a thought occurred to me: Rosco knew who had put this in my trailer, and the cat wasn’t saying a thing.
Rosco meowed his agreement, and I put the page in my bag and made sure he had food and water before heading out to makeup and wardrobe, where I caught up with Meyer. He seemed normal, so apparently I had been singled out by this particular letter writer.
I waited until Meyer was alone and told him he needed to come to the trailer. I was not going to talk about this little missive out in the open for fear that someone would overhear.
“I have to be on set in ten minutes,” Meyer told me, and I needed to as well. There was nothing to be gained by telling him now and upsetting Meyer before a long day of shooting, so I put the note on the back burner, psyched myself up, and prepared for whatever contests they decided to torture me with this time.
“OKAY,” MEYER said as we left the
set for the final time at the end of the day. The chefs were as exhausted as I was, and the following day everyone was heading out into the desert for the elimination challenge. I was pretty sure I knew what they were going to have to be doing, and it was something few of them had ever done before, that was for certain. “You needed to speak with me earlier when things were way too busy?”
“Yeah. By the way, do you keep your trailer locked?” I asked.
Meyer scoffed. “Always. I hate it when people are in and out. Why?”
I led the way across the area to my trailer, glanced around, then unlocked it and stepped inside. There were no new notes, which was good, and Rosco purred as he hurried over for some attention. “Did you keep the bad guys away?” I asked, and gave him a treat from the container. I opened my attaché, pulled out the note, and handed it to Meyer. “Don’t freak out.” Of course, that was everybody’s cue to do just that. “This was on my table when I left on Friday. I thought it was a schedule and I didn’t look at it until this morning.” I handed him the page, and Meyer went stark white.
“Is this a joke?” he rasped, then coughed like he’d swallowed his tongue.
“I wish it was.” I tried not to smile. “Though I can’t really think what kind of secrets this person thinks I have. I haven’t kept it a secret that I’m gay, and in fact, I have discussed briefly the meals I’ve had with my dates on the blog. I don’t make a huge deal out of it, but my loyal followers know that I don’t swing in a straight line.” I tried to add a little lightness, but it fell flat, so I cleared my throat. “You always keep your trailer locked and closed up, so it’s possible that this guy had notes for both of us. I leave mine open because Justin comes in here to look in on Rosco during the day. So I can see how someone was able to leave the note, but does anyone really think I’m going to pay to keep the fact that I’m gay quiet? This is cable TV. We have gay chefs on this particular season.” I shrugged. I didn’t want to think that Justin would do something like this, but he was the first person who came to mind because of his access to just about everything. I hated that I even thought of it and did my best to push the idea away.
“Holy fuck,” Meyer breathed, and practically jumped up. “I should go.” He reached for the door, and I leveled my gaze at him with the force of a boulder rolling downhill.
“If you go barreling out of here like some Meyer-in-a-box, someone is going to think you and I are doing something wrong, and we aren’t.” I didn’t look away. “Are we, Meyer?” I pressed. This was a decision point for him. I knew what he’d already said, but he was going to have to decide the kind of person he wanted to be, and I needed to know if he was someone I could trust when the shit hit the fan. And if not…. I knew this wasn’t the best timing, but we never get to choose that. Life has a way of throwing crap at you, and it was how you dealt with it that counted.
Meyer paused, then finally said, “Okay. So what do we do from here?” His hand shook, but he stayed where he was.
“Nothing at all. Watch a little, but don’t say anything, and act as though nothing has happened. I expect our note writer wants to stir up some drama, so we aren’t going to give them any.”
“Okay. But what if this note has nothing to do with you and me? What other secrets do you have?” Now it was Meyer’s turn to try the stare. It didn’t work. I had always been the one who could stare him down. Meyer tried it, but didn’t affect me, much to my delight.
I laughed. “What sort of secrets could I have? I live in a small apartment with my cat, I write a blog, and I work.” I thought a second. “Occasionally I go out with friends, and I have an assistant with a much more interesting life than my own. Call the tabloids and alert Entertainment Tonight.” I rolled my eyes. “There is nothing about me that is scandalworthy in the least. So all we can do is wait for whoever this is to show his or her hand. Let them hang themselves, so to speak.” As I called Felix for a ride, Rosco ambled over and deigned to be picked up. “I’m going to go to the apartment and try to sleep for a while.”
“Yeah. I should go too. Tomorrow is going to be hot as hell, so drink lots of water before you leave the house, and wear light, flowing clothes and no dark colors—otherwise you’ll roast.” He stepped a little closer. “I’ll try not to worry, but please be really careful.”
The curtains were pulled, so I gave him a light kiss. “You too. I’ll see you on location tomorrow.” I really wasn’t too concerned. What in the heck could someone think they had on me?
Meyer left the trailer, and I came out with Rosco in my arms right afterward, locked the door, and slid into the back seat of the car. Rosco stayed on the floor, lying low as Felix drove us home.
“Are things going well?” Felix asked.
“I think so. This is my first television show, but it seems to be going okay. We’re back on schedule, and everyone seems relieved about that. Tomorrow we’re on location in the desert.” I fished in my pocket and found the schedule with the location. I passed it up to him. “I’ll need to be there by seven. They are hoping to start early. What time will we need to leave?”
He read the paper. “Out there?” he asked. “I’ll pick you up before five so we’ll miss most of the traffic. That should get us there in plenty of time.”
“Thank you.” I closed my eyes and let him drive, trying to relax, but that damned note kept running through my mind, along with the openmouthed shock and pale skin of abject fear that Meyer had expressed whether he’d meant to or not. Just when I thought things with Meyer could possibly be on an even keel, I was pretty sure that the note was going to scare him away. I also needed to figure out who was behind this, though I had no idea where to start.
I SLEPT much of the way into the desert. It was still dark and the ride was smooth, so I took advantage. Felix seemed content with his own thoughts, and I let myself descend into mine. This entire thing with the note had me wondering just who we were dealing with. It had to be someone no one would think twice about seeing go into my trailer. Though they could have snuck in, there were so many people around that it would be nearly impossible not to be seen. So hiding in plain sight was logical.
That got me running through each crew member, as well as the others I’d been working with. Some of those people I was starting to think of as friends, and now suspicion crept in… and I hated it. I hated the way it made me question each and every person, from the lady who did my makeup and chatted with me each day, to the wardrobe manager who made sure I was impeccably dressed. I had even decided to leave Rosco at home that day just so I wouldn’t need Justin to come into the trailer to feed and water him. I was fucking changing the way I lived because of that note, and maybe that was the most insidious thing of all.
The sun rose as we crossed out of the mountains, and the desert stretched in front of me. I had heard that it had a beauty all its own, and maybe it did, but what I saw was various shades of brown on top of brown. Still, the hills stretched and rolled over the land, and Felix stayed quiet, so I took the chance to look.
“It’s not too much farther.”
“Thanks, Felix. Do you know how the chefs are getting here?” I asked. I wasn’t sure how much he was in the loop on anything.
“They were driven out to within a mile of the location, and they’re going to be coming in on donkeys.” He snickered. “I would love to see that.”
“Then why don’t you stay around here and watch? I’m going to need you to drive me back, and going all that way only to have to come back again doesn’t make any sense at all.” We shared a smile via the rearview mirror.
The light increased, and we made a turn off the main highway, traveling down a barely kept road to a small tent encampment. “Is this it?” The place sure didn’t look like much. I saw Meyer, Ethan, and a number of the other crew, so this had to be it. The entire place was sunbaked and looked like something out of sheer hell. I got out and joined the others under one of the large canopy tents, where misters and fans had been set up to try to cool the place. It did
n’t seem to be working to me, and I hoped I didn’t melt into a puddle of goop on the ground.
A wall of heat assailed me with the force of a punch to the gut. Sweat broke out instantly, with the shade and fans providing minimal relief from the blast-furnace heat.
“Go to makeup and get yourself ready,” Ethan told me right away. “I want to get this sequence wrapped up as quickly as possible so we can get back to civilization and air-conditioning.” There was none of the usual pep in his step as he went to make sure the cameras were set up the way he wanted them.
I managed to sit in the makeup chair and not have the stuff run all down my face. They used very little, and for that I was real grateful.
“Hey, did you hear?” Darlene said once I was nearly done. She took a step back to check her work and then had me lift my face slightly. “Apparently there’s a rumor going around the crew that a judge is having a thing… with one of the contestants.” She rolled her eyes. “Like that would happen. Ethan would scope out any of that hanky-panky so fast, their heads would roll.”
“No way,” I agreed. “Why would anyone do that? The chef would be booted off the show in an instant, and the judge would never be able to work again.” It seemed really stupid, and yet my head went back to that damned note. Did whoever sent it think that I was the judge? That was about as stupid a thing as possible, but it would explain the note and why it was worded so strangely.
“I don’t believe it either. There are cameras and people in that house of theirs almost all the time. The only time that people don’t watch them is when they’re asleep or in the bathroom.” Darlene seemed amused by that. “Not that I’d want anyone that close up in my business.”
I had to agree with her. “Let me know if you hear anything more. I suppose on a show with a crew like this, rumors fly all over the place.”
Darlene leaned closer. “Sweetheart, you got dropped right in the middle of Melrose Place and you had no idea at all.” She turned me around so I could look into the mirror. “You look gorgeous, as usual. Just don’t touch your face. In this heat, you’ll smear so danged easily. Have fun out there.”
