“You okay there, baby girl?” Alec asks, pulling my attention to him.
No, I'm obsessed with your ridiculously hot friend over there and it pisses me off that he won't even barely look at me. Instead, I only nod.
He smiles fondly at me and then slips his sunglasses into place before spreading his arms out to rest across the side of the boat. I look over at Emma who is undressing Alec with her eyes and give her a swift nudge with my foot.
She looks at me innocently and I can't help but laugh at her. She's so ridiculous. I shake my head at her, indicating there is no chance in hell that she is going to try anything with Alec. She pouts out her bottom lip but then flicks her eyes back to Alec before running her tongue along her lower lip. The action causes me to burst into laughter.
Ian and Alec pay no attention to my outburst but I can feel Zayne's eyes on me. Even though I refuse to look in his direction, I know he's watching me. I feel his eyes burning holes through my flesh. Deciding to play it cool, I slip my sunglasses back into place and look back out at the water.
We drive in silence for a few minutes before Ian finally kills the engine and turns his attention to Emma. “Alright Em, you're up first.” He grabs the rope and inner-tube from under our bench.
She smiles wickedly at him before hopping to her feet. “Hell yeah!” she exclaims, quickly discarding her sundress, leaving her standing in her skimpy black bikini. I can't help but glance at Zayne to see if he's looking at her but to my relief, he seems completely unphased by the gorgeous, half-naked girl in front of him.
Ian helps Em into her life vest before tossing the inner-tube and connected rope into the water. “Up you go.” Ian hoists Emma up over his shoulder and walks her to the edge of the boat.
“Ian, don't you dare...” she starts, but her protests are drowned out when Ian effortlessly tosses her over the side of the boat and into the water. She resurfaces seconds later laughing and sputtering.
“You asshat!” she yells through her laughter.
“Stop your bitching and get your ass on the tube.” Ian points to the floating object.
Once Emma is settled on the inner-tube, Ian starts the boat and slowly accelerates the speed. I turn to face the back, watching Emma bounce on the waves. I chance a quick peek in Zayne's direction and our eyes lock for a fraction of a second before he looks away, but that doesn't stop the butterflies from erupting in the pit of my stomach. What the hell is wrong with me?
I turn my attention back to Emma.
“Faster!” she screams but her words are barely audible over the roar of the engine.
“She said faster,” I tell Ian, knowing he can't hear her.
“Damn, I love that girl,” he says playfully before increasing the boat’s speed once more. Emma gets brave and decides to put her hands up like she's riding a roller coaster at the same time that Ian goes in for a sharp turn. The inner-tube flips without warning and Emma disappears into the water.
“Ian, stop the boat!” I yell, realizing that no one else has noticed that we are now pulling an empty inner-tube behind us. Ian turns around and sees that he's lost his passenger. He lets out a full belly laugh when his eyes land on Emma floating several feet behind the boat, her arms waving in the air.
He turns the boat back around smoothly and pulls a few feet away from where Emma is floating. “Ian, you ass! You did that on purpose.” She tries to act mad but she can't fight the smile that is lighting up her entire face.
“Shit, I wish I had.” He reaches over the side of the boat to pull her in. She looks even more beautiful with the sun hitting her wet body just right. Damn it. Why does she have to be so perfect? I feel like the ugly duckling right now. I sigh and toss her a towel so she can cover up her body before Zayne has a chance to catch how beautiful she is.
I’m surprised, however, that when I look in his direction again, he's looking at me and not Emma. My cheeks flush with embarrassment, but I’m not really sure why I’m embarrassed. Over my thoughts maybe? I try to shake the feeling away and turn my attention to Alec who seems to be rather enjoying watching Emma towel dry her half naked body.
I get the feeling that Alec definitely sees how beautiful she is and watching him watch her is more than a little uncomfortable. I turn my attention to the cooler to get another drink but just as I am about to grab my third beer, my body is hoisted into the air without warning.
“What the hell? Ian, put me down.” I struggle against his strong arms, trying to wiggle free from his grasp.
“Oh no you don't, Gracie. It's your turn.” He smiles at me widely.
“Ian, please don't.” I don't try to disguise the panic in my voice. While I’m fine swimming, I don't like anything that involves falling into water. I wrap my arms around Ian's neck and hold on with a vice grip, my fear trembling through me.
He manages to peel my arms away and before I can react, he tosses me over the side of the boat. That's when I see him. Kyle. He's flying through the air next to me. I try to reach out for him, but there's nothing there but air. I hit the water in a matter of seconds and having not put a life vest on, I kick my feet fiercely trying to reach the surface.
I finally find air, sputtering and coughing and then I hear Alec's voice. He's in the water next to me. His hands are firmly on my shoulders. “Gracie, are you okay?” he asks when my eyes finally meet his.
“I'm fine. It just scared me for a second,” I say, forcing a laugh.
“Come on, let's get you back on board.” He swims to the edge of the boat before he grabs me around the waist and hoists me up. Warm hands grip under my arms, lifting me the remainder of the way. I know without looking that it's Zayne. The heat now running through my body is like an inferno and I can feel the burn all the way to my toes.
“I've got you,” he says, wrapping a towel around me. His fingers lightly graze the bare skin of my shoulder, sending a chill through my entire body, but he doesn't let on like he notices.
He guides me back onto the bench, releasing his hold on me to help Alec back into the boat. I want to protest the loss of his touch, but instead, I rest on the bench and take some deep breaths, trying to slow my heartrate.
“Ian, you asshole!” Alec turns on Ian the moment he steps foot onto the boat. “What the hell were you thinking?” Everyone on the boat with the exception of Zayne seems to know exactly why he's mad, but I try not to let it show that any of it is bothering me.
“I... I didn't think... Gracie, I'm...” Ian starts but I wave my hand through the air cutting him off.
“Don't be ridiculous. I'm fine. Now can someone please give me another beer?” I wipe my face on my towel. Ian grins at me and then shoots Alec a 'fuck you' look before grabbing me a beer from the cooler and tossing it to me.
Alec still looks pissed when he reclaims his seat, and once again I can feel Zayne's eyes on me but I don't meet his gaze. I'm proud of myself for holding it together. I have to be strong. I can't let my triggers control me. I’m fine. Everything is fine. But when I finally meet Zayne's stare, I can't help but get the feeling that he can see right through my act.
Truth is, I'm not okay and what's worse?
He knows.
“YOU READY?” KYLE SMILES excitedly next to me. I look down over the cliff and my stomach twists into a nervous knot.
“I don't think I can do it.” I shake my head, taking a few steps backward.
“It's okay, Gracie. I won't let anything happen to you.” His sweet voice fills my ears, calming me. Only it's not enough to change my mind.
“I know but I just... I can't. It's okay. You go without me.” I give him an encouraging smile.
“Oh no you don't.” He smiles at me wickedly before hoisting me into his arms. I try to protest, but my words get lost in the wind as he takes off running and launches us off the side of the cliff. My stomach instantly hits my throat and I struggle to scream, but I can't find my voice. All the air is pushed from my lungs as my body free falls down the hundred foot drop.
At so
me point, Kyle loses his grip on me and I hit the water hard. My ears pop under the pressure of the force and I kick myself upward at a frantic pace. I need air. God, I can't breathe.
Finally I feel the weight lift, gasping as I reach the surface. I turn around, trying to locate Kyle but I don't see him anywhere. Seconds bleed into minutes. Fear and panic grip through me as I frantically search the surface of the water.
Where is he?
I can hear screaming. Someone is screaming. It's so loud that it hurts my ears and I cringe through the piercing noise. Then I realize that I am the one screaming.
“Grace. Gracie, wake up!” Emma's voice breaks through my panic. “Gracie, you're having a nightmare. Wake up!” I feel my body shake and instantly my eyes shoot open. I fly into a sitting position, knocking Emma off balance and causing her to fall back onto my bed.
She pushes herself back up and takes both of my hands in hers. “Gracie, look at me,” she pleads.
I finally find her eyes as my mind begins to process that I’m here, that I’m safe. Everything is okay. Only it's not. Nothing has been okay since that day. I take deep breaths, trying to calm my rapid breathing.
“I'm fine,” I manage to croak out, my voice full of sleep. “Just a bad dream.”
Only I'm not sure who I'm trying to convince. Yes, it was only a nightmare but the fact still remains that my dream stems from reality.
I haven't had a nightmare in years. Once I left for college, they became more infrequent until eventually they stopped all together. I can only assume that my dream was a product of the incident on the boat the previous day.
As much as I fight against the onset of emotions that one innocent incident caused, I can't help but feel like it brought a lot of unwanted memories to the surface along with it. Memories that I don't want to relive, that I can't relive.
“Do you need anything?” Emma asks, hovering over me. I shake my head and sink back down into the mattress. Seeming satisfied that I'm okay, Emma nods and crawls back into her own bed.
After a few minutes, I can hear her mumbling, the sure tell sign that she is fast asleep. I snuggle into my covers and try to find sleep again, but I can't shut my mind off. I can't shake the grief or the pain that is stirring so deeply inside of me it feels like it might take me under at any moment.
I WAKE THE NEXT MORNING feeling groggy and not at all rested. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Having tossed and turned the remainder of the night, I did not find sleep again until the early hours of the morning and as such, I got a total of about three hours.
Emma is rummaging through her clothes trying to find something to wear when she notices that I'm awake. “Good morning!” she sings happily.
“Morning,” I croak out weakly, my throat feeling dry. “What are you doing?” I question as she slips on a pair of jean shorts and flip flops to match her pale pink tank top.
“I'm running into town with Alec to pick up a few things from the grocery store for your mom,” she says brightly, avoiding my gaze.
“Emma.” The word comes out as a warning and it doesn't take a genius to figure out what I’m saying with that one word.
“Oh don't Emma me, Grace. We're just running into town. It's not a big deal.” She waves her hand through the air. She clearly underestimates how well I know her and the fact that she is in full makeup does not go unnoticed.
“I just don't want you doing something you’ll regret. Ian is one thing but Alec... Well, Alec is something else entirely. You know how he is with women,” I point out, knowing full well that she knows that Alec is a bit of a player. Hell, even that's an understatement.
“I'm a big girl, Gracie. I can take care of myself,” she says before making her way toward the door. “We won't be too long.” She waves as she exits the room.
Having no real plans for the day, I take a quick shower and dress comfortably in black yoga pants and a red tank top before throwing my hair in a loose ponytail and applying a light layer of mascara and some clear lip gloss. I take one last look in the mirror, not missing the dark circles that line my green eyes.
Before exiting my room, I take a deep breath then make my way downstairs to grab some breakfast. My steps falter when I spot Zayne sitting at the kitchen table. He's dressed casually in black board shorts and a black t-shirt. The look only makes him that much sexier and I have to mentally force myself not to stare.
“Good morning,” I say lightly, making my way to the refrigerator to grab a yogurt and a bottle of water.
“Morning.” He nods, finishing off his coffee. He stands and makes his way into the kitchen to rinse out his cup as I take a seat at the table. “See you later,” he calls over his shoulder as he quickly exits the room without a backward glance. I sit there for a moment and look at the door he just left through.
What the hell is with that man? Am I so repulsive to him that he can't even share a table with me? I try not to let it hurt my feelings, but the truth is, it does. How can he be so immune to the electricity that flows between us when I feel it so strongly? I'm surprised he's even here, having expected him to join Alec and Emma in town.
“Good morning, sweetheart.” My mom's voice breaks through my thoughts. I peer up to see her smiling widely at me from the end of the table. She's still dressed in her pajamas and her blonde bob is an unruly mess of waves.
“Morning, Mom. Did you sleep well?” I ask as a pathetic attempt to make small talk.
“I did,” she replies, making her way into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. “Rob was hoping to do a bonfire tonight down by the dock.” She turns to face me.
“That sounds great, Mom,” I say with a smile that I wish were genuine. “I'm gonna go for a walk, but I will be back in a couple of hours. Do you want to come with me?” I ask even though I really hope she doesn’t take me up on the offer. Right now I kind of just want to be alone.
“No, honey, I'm good. Me and Rob are gonna take the boat out for a little while.” She kisses my forehead before walking out onto the patio with her cup of coffee in hand.
After slipping on my sneakers, I exit through the back of the house, which is kind of like the front since it's the side facing the road. Turning left, I make my way to the end of the street where a large patch of woods spans for a couple of miles before meeting the lake again.
I wander the trails aimlessly, having no real point or purpose to my walk. When I finally reach the water, I stop, shocked to find Zayne sitting in the clearing where the lake meets the trees. He clearly heard me approaching before I realized he was there and has quickly pushed himself into a standing position.
“Hey,” I say casually when he turns to face me. His blue eyes seem darker than usual and I can tell that I interrupted a private moment. “Sorry. I didn't know you were here.” I immediately start to make excuses which in turn makes me feel even stupider.
“No worries. I was just leaving.” He shrugs, quickly stepping past me.
“You really don't like me very much, do you?”
He immediately stops at the edge of the trees, turning back to face me. “I don't know if I would say that. Is there a reason you care if I like you or not?” He raises an eyebrow in question and for some reason the expression pisses me off.
“Not one bit, actually. Just curious,” I bite back, a little harsher than I meant to but feeling proud of myself all the same. I turn back around and face the water before saying, “I just wasn't sure if I did something to piss you off.”
He lets out a light chuckle and appears at my side. I jump a little, startled by his sudden appearance. I had expected him to continue walking away.
“What makes you think you pissed me off?” he asks, humor lacing his voice. Again, for whatever reason, the action pokes at my temper.
“Hmm, let's see. You won't look at me, you don't speak to me, and you conveniently disappear every time I walk into a room. Sounds to me like you've got a problem with me. I'm just not sure why,” I say, defensiveness evident in my tone.
; He grabs my arm and spins me to face him. The sudden movement catches me off guard and I stumble, trying to find my footing. Once I do, I glare at him, ready to let him have it, but upon registering how close his face is to mine, I suddenly can't form words.
“Did you ever think maybe I like you too much? Maybe I’m avoiding you because I can't want you the way that I do?” His words seep with seduction and my body damn near collapses right on the spot.
“I.... I.... Wait, what?” I manage to stumble out, not trying to hide my confusion. My god this man makes no sense. Wants me? He doesn't even know me.
Then I realize what he’s doing... He’s fucking with me.
“Bullshit,” I retort, calling his bluff.
He lets out a rough laugh and then closes the gap between us even further, leaning down until our lips are mere inches apart. His scent invades my nostrils and I’m silently willing him to close the remainder of the distance between us and kiss me.
“Don't tempt me, Grace. I'm fairly certain if you knew the things I wanted to do to you that you would run screaming in the opposite direction.” I feel his breath on my lips as he speaks and my heart kicks into overdrive. Millions of butterflies erupt in my stomach and I’m finding it difficult to keep my breathing steady.
“Try me.” My words come out breathy and suddenly everything feels too hot.
His eyes turn serious.
“No.” The one word sends my heart crashing to my feet.
He steps away and all I want to do is reach out and pull him back. Feeling him so close to me, feeling his breath on my face, his scent invading my nostrils, it did something to me that I can't explain. Something that I know I shouldn't want to feel but that I do all the same.
He gives me a humorless smile and then shakes his head before turning to leave.
“Are you kidding me?” The words are off my tongue before I can take them back. He spins back around just as I continue, “I don't know who you think you're dealing with, but I am not a child and I certainly am not some skank that you can play games with. So you know what, just keep ignoring me, Zayne. I think I like you better when you don't talk.” I spin back around to face the water and while my hands are trembling, I can't hide the smile that stretches across my face. I know nothing about him, but if I had to guess, I would say he is every bit the player that Alec is. Possibly even worse.
The Way Back Page 3
