“And you thought this was okay because?” I ask, completely thrown off by his lack of remorse for going behind my back.
“I didn't want to get your hopes up. I know how badly you want this and I didn't want to mention it until I knew for sure that something would pan out. Obviously, it did?” He phrases it in a question like he doesn't already know.
“Obviously, you know that it did,” I fire back, irritation in my tone.
“Actually, I didn't know. Congratulations.”
“How did this happen?”
“I’d talked to Todd about you during a business lunch, which, for the record, Alec started, not me. He seemed genuinely interested by what Alec and I had to say and so I decided to see if I could get my hands on a few pages to send him. I'm sorry that I went behind your back. But if it means that you might get a shot to follow your dreams, then I'm not sorry at all.” He reaches his hand out to me.
I can't resist the urge to go to him, collapsing in his arms.
“I wanted to do this on my own,” I say into his chest. “That way, if I succeeded, I would know that I earned it.”
He pulls back to study my face for a beat before responding.
“If you succeed, you will have earned it. I didn't write the book. I didn't force Todd or his agents to read it. And I certainly didn't make the agent that contacted you like it. All I did was open the door for you, it's up to you to make it happen once you get inside.” He kisses the tip of my nose. “Grace, you are an amazingly talented woman. You just need to believe in yourself. You can do this. And now, you have a real shot. That's all I want for you. For you to have the chance.”
Every ounce of frustration I feel melts away under his stare. I’m starting to believe that there is nothing this man can't talk his way out of. And as his lips gently take mine, I realize something very important. I don't think there is anything this man wouldn't do to make me happy. And I know without a shadow of a doubt that there is nothing I wouldn't do for him in return.
Chapter Eighteen
THREE DAYS WAS ALL it took. Three days until I received the news that I had been praying for. Turns out, Hannah not only loved my manuscript, but was pretty certain that after some editing she would have no problem selling it to a publisher.
So as I walk out of the tall brick building that houses Fischer Literary Agency, or FLA as they call it, I’m in a state of absolute bliss and utter disbelief. I officially have an agent and my dream of becoming a writer finally seems obtainable.
I’m already kind of working on my second novel, and while it is much different from the first, I feel really good about where it's heading and even better after talking to Hannah and getting her reassurance that my ideas sounded great.
I've written about tragedy and loss, I thought maybe I would try my hand at love. While my novels are definitely fiction, I base them off my real life experiences. My first novel is driven by the time in my life when Kyle died, and what happened in the months that followed.
But lately I have new inspiration and as such, the manuscript I have been jotting down ideas for is based heavily on my relationship with Zayne.
It's strange that I’m writing about this breathtaking, whirlwind love affair and I’m actually living what's on the pages. It doesn't seem real. Men like Zayne don't exist, love like this doesn't exist. Or at least that's what I used to tell myself. Only now do I see how very wrong I was.
So as the sheer magnitude of what just happened settles in, there is only one person I want to see. One person that I want to share my news with. And even though I may run into Alec in the process, I know that I can play it off as I'm there to see him if I do.
I start walking in the direction of Zalec Developing. It's only about six blocks from FLA and with the summer heat dying down unseasonably early, I’m enjoying the outdoors more and more.
The city really is an amazing place, and if you can get past the crowded streets and rundown buildings, there is unbelievable beauty hidden down alleyways and tucked in tiny corners. I think the majority of people pass by without really noticing, so lost in their daily routines that they don't take the time to really appreciate what's around them.
My mind continues to wander, so much so that I don't even realize I’ve arrived at my destination until I am staring at the steps that lead to the entrance of Fredrick Tower. Maybe it's that I’m actually paying attention or simply that I’m viewing things in a different way, but today the city seems more alive than usual and it's nearly impossible not to be sucked into everything going on around me.
I take the steps two at a time and make my way through the lobby to the main set of elevators on the other side, completely bypassing reception. I have been here enough times to see Alec that the receptionist only nods in my direction when she spots me.
As the elevator climbs, I realize that coming here probably wasn't the best idea. Surely someone will mention to Alec that I stopped by if I don't see him here, but honestly, I’m in such a good mood right now, I really don't care.
I have something I want to talk to Zayne about and it can't wait. I feel a sense of urgency to finally define a relationship that to this day has only ever been called things like affair and fling. I don't want that anymore. I want so much more than that. What's the point in only making one dream come true when I have a shot to make them all come true?
A couple of people nod my way as I cross the lobby. Again, I don't stop at reception, buzzing past Jane, the beautiful brunette that is so perfect, it almost hurts to look at her.
When I hit the hall, I follow it to the left and then down a little ways, past a corner, to the very end of the next hall, where Zayne and Alec's offices are located. In all the times that I have been here over the last few weeks, I have never seen Zayne's office.
I wouldn't dare risk being caught by Alec, and because of this, I have always only ever visited my brother here. But today I feel bold and adventurous. Today I feel alive.
I throw a long enough glance toward Alec's open door to assess that he’s not in his office. Zayne's door, however, is shut and I can't see through the designed, clouded glass to know if he is in the middle of anything.
I reach out and knock lightly, the glass pane clattering lightly under my hand. I hear movement and then after a few moments, the door opens and Zayne is staring down at me with wide eyes.
“Grace... What.. What are you doing here?”
I place my hands against his hard chest and push him backward into the office, kicking the door closed behind me before twisting the lock in place.
“I wanted to thank you in person,” I say, stepping forward until my chest meets just below his. I drag my fingernails slowly up his torso, then gently clasp my hands around his neck, pulling his face down.
The moment his lips hit mine, I can feel his smile as he registers what I am thanking him for. “You got it?” He laughs against my mouth.
“I got it!” I squeal, pulling back just far enough to stare into those breathtaking blue eyes that stand out against his tan skin and dark hair. Every time I register his face this close up, I literally lose my breath. I don't think god could have created a more beautiful creature.
“I knew you could do it. I’m so proud of you.”
“I couldn't have done this without you.”
“Yes you could have and you would have,” he says, matter of factly. “It may have just taken you longer.”
“Oh shut up and come here,” I say, still smiling when his mouth is on mine once again. He deepens the kiss, a soft groan sounding from his lips.
“Grace,” he breathes, trying to step away before things get too intense. Only, that's exactly what I want. This wasn't my plan, but the moment I feel the familiar hum in my lower belly, suddenly everything feels too hot.
“Shhh,” I pant against his mouth, my hands running under his suit jacket, pushing it over his shoulders. It falls to the floor with a soft thud and is soon followed by his tie. As my fingers fumble down the buttons of his shirt,
he stills my hands on the last one, pulling back to look at me.
“Grace.” He looks from me to the door.
“I don't care,” I say, desperately trying to pull his mouth back down to mine.
“You say that now,” he warns.
“And now is what matters.” I launch myself at him, roughly taking his lips with mine. My hands dive into his hair, pulling and tugging the thick strands between my fingers.
At first I think he's going to resist, but I can feel the very moment that his resolve falters and I take full advantage, pushing him back against his desk. I make quick work of removing his shirt and once it has been discarded to the floor, I run my hands from his shoulders to his hipbone so slowly that I feel his skin prickle under my touch.
When my mouth replaces my hands, his fingers immediately tangle through my long curls, tugging and urging me forward. He knows exactly what I want and is more than willing to oblige. I take my time, nibbling and teasing.
So much so that by the time my mouth finally closes over his erection, he's so worked up he can barely contain himself. Gripping my hair more firmly, he gently begins guiding my head, taking me almost to the base and then back up again, slow at first and then at a steadier pace.
It takes only minutes before I can tell that he is close and when he pulls me away from him and twists me around, pushing my chest down onto the desk, it only solidifies this fact.
He throws up my skirt and has my panties down so fast, I barely have time to react before he is there, toying at my entrance. I grind my ass back, urging him forward, wanting nothing more than to feel him buried deep inside of me.
I lay my cheek against the cool wood of the desk and spread my legs a little further, giving him better access. When he enters me on a quick, hard thrust, it takes everything I have not to cry out, biting my bottom lip so hard, I swear I taste blood. I fight back my urge to vocalize my pleasure.
I don't know how thick or how thin the walls are and I certainly don't want to draw any unwanted attention, so I fight every instinct I have to scream, to moan, to plead Zayne's name. I have never been taken from behind like this before and there is something so animalistic about it, like we are wild animals, taking full pleasure of each other’s bodies, the way nature intended. Zayne begins pounding into me so hard and fast, I have to grip the edge of the desk to prevent myself from sliding over the top.
He's punishing and rough, yet somehow gentle and loving at the same time. Even though his thrusts are violent and relentless, I don't miss the way his hand skirts across my shoulder blade or the way he brushes my hair gently away.
It doesn't take long until we are both to the brink, fighting our cries of pleasure as we find our releases together. I claw the desk so hard, I swear my nail marks will forever be etched into the wood. It takes several long moments for our breathing to start to return to normal and for Zayne to slowly soften, still deep inside of me.
“Grace,” he whispers against my back, gently kissing up my spine.
“I want to tell Alec.” The words I have been wanting to say for quite some time, literally fall right out of my mouth without so much as a thought.
“What?” He pulls out of me and quickly adjusts himself, gathering his shirt and jacket from the floor.
“I want to tell Alec,” I repeat, turning toward him.
At first I think I've pissed him off, but when he reaches out and hands me my panties, with a cute little grin across his face, I immediately relax.
Okay, so he's not mad.
I wait while he takes a moment to put his clothes back on and I can physically see the wheels turning in his head. As he retrieves his tie and drapes it around his neck, his eyes meet mine, as if he's decided how to respond to my request.
“Okay.”
“Okay?” I question, not sure if he's agreeing because he wants to or because he thinks he has to. Both are very different and have the power to alter the course of this relationship in opposite ways.
“I think we should.”
“You do?” I stutter, for whatever reason expecting a different response.
“Don't look so shocked.” He steps toward me, wrapping his hand around the back of my neck, pulling me closer to him.
“I'm sorry I just, I just didn't expect you to agree so easily,” I say, an apologetic expression making a brief appearance across my face.
“If it means that I can kiss you whenever I want, Grace, then I will gladly tell it to the world.” He smiles, leaning his face down to mine. “Because all I can think about are these lips,” he teases, running his tongue along the bottom one.
“Oh yeah?” I whisper, gently slipping my tongue into his mouth.
“Uh huh,” he responds, pulling me against his body so tightly that I can feel his erection returning.
Hearing him say he's ready to take this to the next level, feeling his body react under my touch the way it does, it's almost too much to bear. But then when I hear his whispered words against my lips, I realize I now know what people mean when they say that something makes them melt.
“I'm in Grace. I'm all in.”
And melt is exactly what I do.
I'M NERVOUS. I DON'T know why I'm so nervous. It's just a phone call. A phone call to my brother inviting him to dinner. Something I have done several times, yet this time is so much different for one very main reason, Zayne.
So as I stumble through my words, I try to remember that no matter how scared I am to share my news, at the end of the day, it's just Alec. My oldest brother, my protector. The man who would move mountains for me if he could.
He loves me, I remind myself. He wants me to be happy. But then, how do I tell him that the only thing that would make me happy is knowing that I can be with Zayne without having to hide it from him? Will he approve? Will he surprise us both by giving his blessing? Or will he turn his back on me or worse, on Zayne?
Not knowing how he will react is the hardest part. I know my brother well, but to say that this is completely new territory for us is a bit of an understatement. We have never approached the topic of me dating, let alone dating his best friend.
So after the plans are made, and Alec has agreed to meet me tomorrow night for dinner, I hang up the phone feeling both elated and like I’m going to vomit at the same time. I immediately call Emma for support, but like most times when I call, her phone goes straight to voicemail.
Zayne is with Alec. I know because they were at lunch when I called, so I can't call him. I can't talk to Ian or my mom until Alec knows, because I can't risk one of them leaking the information before I have a chance to tell him myself, so my family is out. Carver is at work and based on the note he left me this morning, will be there until the late evening hours.
After running through a list of all my closest friends and family, I can come up with only two people that are separate enough from my family to talk freely to, but also close enough to me that I feel like they will all care about the mental breakdown I’m currently experiencing.
So with that, I settle on heading to Vitos. It's a Friday and while I know that Saving Solace will be bringing in a full house tonight, it's barely after three in the afternoon and the bar is probably empty right now. Honestly, I don't know why they even bother opening before seven or eight. The number of customers they get through the day are few and far between.
Jake says it's because they always want to be available for their clientele and honestly, I think he and Becca don't have much else to do. He has made the bar such a big part of his life, and I know from being around them that they rarely do anything outside of the small rundown establishment.
When I push my way inside just twenty minutes later, I’m not surprised to find only two people sitting at the bar and Becca playing on her phone behind the counter. She looks up when she hears the door creak and her face immediately lights up when she registers it's me.
She sets a bar napkin in front of me when I take a stool toward the end of the bar. “Thank god you're here. I�
��m so bored,” she whines. “What are we drinking?” she asks, emphasizing the word we.
“Considering it's early afternoon and you are working until three in the morning, I say we keep it light. How about a Mimosa?” I grin when she curls her nose up.
“Um no.” She laughs. “It's been a hell of a day already.”
“Okay, then what would you like?” I ask, cocking my head to the side and peering at my quirky, pierced, and tatted friend.
She taps her finger to her chin like she really has to weigh out options with this decision, then meets my eyes. “Three wise men,” she says, her smile widening when she realizes I have no idea what that means. “Holy crap, Grace. You work at a bar and you don't know what the three wise men are?” She laughs, shaking her head at me.
“For the record, I don't actually work behind the bar and liquor is not my specialty.”
“Fair enough. The three wise men are Jack, Jim, and Jose.”
I raise my brow, confused.
“Oh my god, Grace. Jack Daniels, Jim Beam, and Jose Cuervo.” She sighs dramatically.
“Like all together?” I gawk, unable to believe that anyone would choose to drink such a concoction.
“Oh honey. You have so much to learn.” She laughs, grabbing two glasses, setting them on the bar in front of me before turning and retrieving a bottle of each liquor she named. “Of course you drink them together. Why have one when you can have all three?”
I laugh, not able to contain myself. The sound echoes off the walls of the small bar, drawing the attention of the other two customers my way.
“Sorry.” I mouth, clearly having agitated the one closest to me. He's an older gentleman, maybe late fifties, with black hair that has tiny white strands peppered throughout. He looks tired and worn and for a moment, I can't help but wonder who he is. What his story is and why he is here drinking in the middle of the afternoon.
“Earth to Grace.” Becca pulls my attention back to her and I have to peel my eyes away from the man.
The Way Back Page 29
