Those memories wisped away to be replaced with those final years where he had to give his kin distance and began turning to the only woman who could tolerate him. One who had been there from the very beginning. A sounding board that never voiced which of his kin’s advice she agreed with but instead began giving her own.
“You must think for yourself, my dragon,” Hel had said softly, sitting by his side on a cliff overlooking the sparkling sea of Helheim. An endless swath of water that mirrored its shadow, the vast oceans of Midgard. It had been the day Leviathan had finally grown sick around him.
The day life as he knew it had ended.
“You must be the man and dragon your heart tells you to be.” She had urged him to rest his head on her shoulder, her words as soothing and comforting as they ever were. “If you want many women, you will find them eventually. If you want just one woman, you will find her too. Just trust in yourself and never let others sway you. Never try to be a dragon you are not.”
After that, though she did not pressure or encourage it, being with Hel was what he wanted. Not only was she his longtime friend and confident but as time went on, something more. When that happened, he listened to Emily’s advice and gave it his all. Suffice it to say, despite what he had hoped would continue blossoming between them, in the end, theirs was only ever meant to be a deep friendship.
“She was so good to you,” Kenzie whispered, her eyes moist as they fluttered open. She kept seeing his memories even as their eyes held. “She never once took advantage...”
“Why would she?” he murmured, confused.
“I don’t know,” she said softly. “I guess in my mind, that’s what gods do considering they have so much power.” Her eyes softened as much as her voice. “But then I knew the minute I saw her yesterday, no, before that, that she was so much different than I thought she would be.”
“She is.” He cupped her cheek and searched her eyes. “Did you find what you were looking for in my mind’s eye, Kenzie? Did you see what I wanted you to see?”
“I did,” she whispered, the emerald in her eyes flaring. “You’re a rare sort, Eirik. Made rarer by the way circumstances molded you...or,” she eyed him with genuine respect, “I should say how you molded yourself to those circumstances.”
Though tempted to ask her yet again if that meant she wanted to be with him, he had decided to let that rest. Fated mates let alone true love could not be rushed. It had to happen as it would.
“That it does,” Kenzie whispered, clearly following his thoughts as she brushed her lips across his, held his eyes a moment longer then got off his lap, declaring, “I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to hit the road.” She scrunched her nose as she looked around at the forest and rock before she grinned and met his eyes. “Well, you know what I mean.”
Though she might have gotten off his lap as though trying to put distance between them, he knew letting her in had brought her far closer. That if his kin just did this with their fated mates from the beginning, maybe all the angst and denial would not exist. Then again, as she pointed out before, might that not be a little boring or even too predictable? What of the buildup and friction and all those little things that happened between people that end up making them realize they are meant for each other?
In his case, he knew what he wanted before he ever laid eyes on Kenzie. But for others, it was not that simple, and they couldn’t be faulted for that. They had to find their way to each other the way fate intended it.
He enjoyed watching Kenzie drop the fur she had wrapped around her as she began dressing. He had meant it when he said he had never seen a more beautiful woman. Numerous freckles dusted the soft skin on her shoulders, arms, and chest where only three existed on her face. Two on the outer edge of her left eye and one at the edge of her right. Almost as if they were there to guide the tears that would eventually come.
Her eyes met his at that thought, but she said nothing. At least not right away as they dressed and she covered a body he looked forward to spending the rest of his life rediscovering.
“There was a child involved,” she finally murmured once they were dressed and heading back down the path to the others. She stopped and met his eyes, obviously ready to come to grips with things. “It wasn’t just you and I and our enemy involved in that last life but...a child.” He saw the struggle in her eyes but also renewed strength as her eyes remained with his. “My dragon was pregnant, wasn’t it?” Her eyes grew moist, but she blinked it away, notched her chin and stayed strong. “My dragon was pregnant, and maybe Dagr was trying to tell me, us, not because he was there but because he’s a child that can cross the divide...that can share that sort of thing.”
When he tried to reel her close and offer comfort because she was in pain, she would not allow it. She was determined to remain strong. To fight it. Something he well understood because he felt the same pain. But he had forced himself to set it aside for now because he had to. Because he would not allow Skáld or Einnar or any enemy to take advantage of his weakness. Not just that but he needed to remain strong for Kenzie. Because whatever had happened to them before could break them in half in this life if he let it.
If they let it.
“Yes, I think you were pregnant,” he confirmed, as he cupped her cheeks and made sure her eyes stayed with his. That she heard his words. “I also think, just as you do, that it is something Einnar will try to use against us to weaken us, perhaps even divide us.” He softened his grip, touching her tenderly. “Take these emotions you feel for a child that might very well have been ours and mourn for them with me and only me. Do not share them with anyone else until this is over.”
Her lower lip quivered and a tear leaked from the corner of her eye, trickling around the very freckle he knew it would as her eyes stayed with his. “I didn’t expect this...”
“No,” he said softly, as he brushed away the tear with the pad of his thumb, and kept his eyes with hers. “But it is ours to face, yes?”
“You mean suffer through,” she whispered. “Because it feels pretty damn shitty to me.”
“No, this is to be faced as are all painful and joyful circumstances.” He held her gaze, making sure she saw his determination. His resolve. “We will be stronger for it, Kenzie.”
As if in full agreement, Floyd, who had plunked down next to them, offered a solid meow before he brushed up against their legs.
A quivering albeit small smile of acceptance curled her lips. “Well, if Floyd agrees you must be on to something.”
He nodded and brushed his lips across hers. Though he should probably keep them moving along, he embraced her instead, because he couldn’t help himself. Yes, he wanted to offer comfort but he also just wanted her against him. To experience the way she made him feel over and over. Yet as she nuzzled close and his inner dragon roared with need at the scent of an arousal she couldn’t help, he knew it really was best to keep walking. To allow her fresh air and a chance to think.
To come to terms with the truths they had learned in this place.
“Come,” he murmured, brushing his lips across hers one last time before he pulled her after him. “Let us journey with those Hel has chosen for us and get closer to the port.”
“Can we make it all the way there in one day?”
“We could.” Yet he sensed the true message behind Hel’s words. They were in Níðhöggr’s Realm for a reason. They should immerse themselves in this place. Perhaps find each other even more. There were moments to be had here. Ones that would help them remember...most specifically help Kenzie remember. “Though we could make it in a day, we will rest one more eve within the Realm before we arrive at the port.”
She nodded but said nothing more as they joined the others and began their journey north toward the mountaintop. The day was cooler than the one before, and the air crisp as bright sunlight shone down from a cloud-free sky.
“How are you feeling, Sis?” Shea asked at one point. “Sun still not bothering you?”
“Not so far.” Kenzie offered a smile so bright it made his chest tighten. “And I’m seriously loving it.”
“I’ll bet.” Shea met her grin as they crested the mountain then made their way down toward one of several lakes that fed into the center lake. “So you can handle the sun, and we can handle Eirik.” Her eyes flickered between them. “I’d say you two are good for each other. Nothing but positive improvements.”
He and Kenzie smiled at each other but offered no response. He looked forward to spending more time alone with her. To getting to know her better.
“Pretty much what you see is what you get,” she murmured. Then she surprised him by letting him see through her mind’s eye right then and there as they made their way through the forest.
He saw memories of a happy childhood and a loving family. Her hair was still the same color then that it was now and her dragon was the same copper. She had been remarkably cute and by all appearances, a good mediator between her siblings.
“I think it was a middle-sister thing,” she commented as she let him in even further.
Even as a little dragon, she was fond of animals and had proven to be a rarity that could shift without terrifying them.
“I used to fly with flocks of birds without my parents knowing.” There was a smile in her internal voice. “A little dragon glamour and people only saw another bird.”
He saw flashes of her as a little girl saving just about any injured animal she came across. How caring she had been to the lowliest creatures.
“Hey, rodents have hearts too,” she murmured. “Though I managed to piss my parents off regularly when I hid the mouse traps.”
He offered her a crooked grin and a message directly from his dragon. “I’m surprised they didn’t just eat them. Or as least your father.”
Because it seemed her mother was human.
“Eww,” she muttered. “We had a little class you know.” Then she met his grin. “And there are appearances to keep up in what’s mostly a dragon-free society.”
As her mind kept letting him in, various men came and went, but as she said, none of them meant much. Rather, she seemed detached and not overly interested in what they could offer her beyond sex. As far as he could tell, she wasn’t cruel to any of them but honest about what she wanted from the start. Then he witnessed the sad moment she was told she couldn’t have children and the intensely sad response of her inner dragon.
After that, it seemed her personalities only intensified.
“That’s when I began playing it real safe and stayed out of the sun completely because my dragon seemed to be surfacing more and in turn, draining me more,” she said. “I started bundling up and wearing a baseball cap too.” He heard her inward sigh. “Honestly, I think the news alarmed my dragon so much that it felt like if it surfaced more often, it might just be able to rectify things. It might be able to fix my human body.”
He understood her dragon doing such a thing. As it was, their inner beasts could heal themselves to a degree.
“It is a hard thing,” he murmured, still mulling over her news.
In truth, he had never heard of a female dragon that could not produce children. Their dragons were by design, stronger and more soundly made than their human counterparts. But even then, their human halves were typically very well made. Their gums were healthy and their teeth straight from the beginning. Their hearts were strong and their bodies disease free. And, more often than not, they were born without a tendency toward addiction. From what he could tell, they were almost a more advanced human thanks to their dragon.
By the time they made it to the shore of the lake, the sun had dipped low enough that it made Níðhöggr’s Ash more brilliant than usual as it sat high above them.
“That is one seriously amazing, gigantic tree,” Kenzie murmured, staring up at it. “Its leaves almost look like they’re on fire backlit by the sun like that.”
“They do,” he agreed, not missing Rokar’s reaction to it. Almost as if he had seen a ghost.
“Are you well, Cousin?” he asked.
“It is...familiar,” he murmured, staring at it like it had come for his soul.
“Did you not see it within my mind beforehand then?” he asked. “Within Håkon, Sven or Davyn’s?”
Because he could access their minds whenever he liked.
“I have chosen not to look,” he said softly, his eyes still glued to the tree.
Eirik considered him for a moment, remembering what Rokar had said that morning, wondering what the future held for his heartbroken brethren. “Tess spoke to you as she spoke to me. What did she say, Cousin?”
Rokar remained silent for a long moment before he finally replied, his words whisper soft.
“She said she saw the water coming.” His eyes never left the tree as he paused yet again before continuing in an even softer voice. “She said after the fiery ash presented itself, the water was coming.” His eyes drifted to Eirik’s. “And that all of us would meet our end if I did not pursue my conquest on the sea.”
Chapter Twenty-One
“THAT SERIOUSLY DOESN’T sound like something Tess would say,” Kenzie said a little while later. “She’s not really the prophetic type, and she doesn’t talk like that.”
“Right,” Shea agreed, her eyes going from Rokar to Kenzie who sat across the fire from her. “Except for that one time.”
“We were teenagers though,” she reminded. “Everyone knows puberty can wreak havoc on a girl. Especially if they’re a dragon shifter.”
“True.” Shea’s knowing eyes remained on Kenzie’s. “Interesting though, how what she said way back then sort of ties in with what’s going on now.” Her eyes went to the tree, now not nearly as fiery with the sun sunk lower. “Do you remember what she said?”
“Yeah,” Kenzie murmured, recalling all too well the entranced state of her thirteen year old sister at the time. How Tess had stood at the back door of their Lake Placid home during a slumber party for ten minutes straight, staring at a random tree in the darkness. “She said the tree was on fire until he saved them.”
Eirik frowned. “Saved who?”
“We have no idea,” Kenzie replied. “And neither did she once she snapped out of it.” She shook her head. “She never said or did anything like that again, so my parents weren’t worried.”
“And her dragon’s magical gifts lie in what?” Davyn asked. “Because you only spoke of her being a free spirit.”
“It’s sort of hard to explain,” Shea said. Her eyes pled with Kenzie to help her out.
“Well, like Ava, her dragon’s magic sort of has a mind of its own and follows her emotions at the time,” Kenzie said. “Where Ava’s magic, who’s a born humanitarian and diplomat, tends to bring people together, Tess’s mimics her free spirit and tends to drive people to do things they wouldn’t otherwise do.” She shrugged, trying to keep her tone lighthearted though she was fairly certain she sounded wary. “That’s the best way to describe it I guess.”
“It sounds like people around her did not always do things you approved of,” Eirik said.
Though she shrugged, not about to throw Tess under the bus, Shea was brutally honest.
“Tess has a way of fanning the flames,” she said. “She’s always had an inherent draw to keeping things interesting and finding trouble. And that inclination intensified, even more, a few years back, or so we assume when she bought a motorcycle one day, hit the open road and never looked back.” She shrugged. “Since then, according to what I’ve heard, she’s been looking for trouble around every corner and been with one bad boy after another.”
“So she seeks strife,” Vigdis said softly, her eyes on the fire. “She seeks a rush beyond what life can offer her.”
“Or an escape,” Rokar murmured, surprising even himself based on the look in his eyes as they met Kenzie’s and he revealed more than she anticipated. “I have preferred to keep my mind free of anyone for a long time, including my kin, yet your sister s
lipped into it without any invitation from my dragon. She entered it as though it belonged to her.”
Though tempted to point out the obvious—that Tess was likely his fated mate—she could tell by the frustrated, wary look in his eyes that was not a good idea.
“There is a lot going on, Rokar,” Eirik kicked in, squeezing her hand in reassurance as he tried to help her navigate his cousin’s confusion without upsetting him further. More so, she imagined, imply that any woman other than his deceased wife was meant for him. “Remember there are ancient dragons at work here. Power beyond our understanding.”
Rather than look at Eirik, Rokar’s eyes lingered on Kenzie’s a moment longer, as though he saw the threat she wasn’t voicing. As though he saw Tess as trouble he wasn’t nearly ready for and downright didn’t want. And though tempted to put his mind at ease, she couldn’t seem to push the words past her lips because she feared whatever came out would be a lie.
Because Tess was, if nothing else, unpredictable.
“Honestly, and I feel awful for saying this,” she murmured later on as she and Eirik fished with rolled up pants and spears, “I worry about Rokar being meant for Tess.” She shook her head. “God knows I love my sister, but she’s about the last woman I would send your cousin’s way right now. He’s too broken. Too...sad.” Her eyes went to his. “I almost feel like I need to apologize ahead of time because Tess has a way of leaving men...”
“What?” he murmured when she trailed off, worried she had already said too much.
“I dunno,” she said softly, but she did know and wanted to be perfectly honest. “No, I do. She has a tendency of leaving men as broken as your cousin already is. Of lovin’ and leavin’ them. In that sense, she’s a free spirit I suppose. When she’s done, she’s done and never looks back.”
Eirik considered that for a moment before he said the last thing she expected.
“Perhaps that is just what Rokar needs,” he said. “Perhaps he needs a woman to come into his life that stirs him from his depression. Who takes his mind from all he will not let go of.”
Viking's Ransom (Viking Ancestors: Rise of the Dragon, #4) Page 15
