He hoped she was. A hope that nibbled at the edges of Ryan’s conscious thought. Thankfully, he didn’t have to wait long before Naomi suggested another date.
So now Ryan could be nervous about that instead.
Chapter Four
The days following her date with Ryan, Naomi found herself smiling quite a bit. A few people at work even commented on it. It was true, she supposed. Naomi felt quite happy. Ryan texted her often, making her smile wider every time her phone dinged.
It had been a while since the last time Naomi had found herself interested in the way she felt interested in Ryan. There was so much she didn’t know about him. Naomi felt honestly excited about learning more. And, Ryan was also very hot. Naomi had known that, but being able to touch the sharp lines of his body?
Yeah. Naomi had thought about that for days.
Despite how keen she was to explore more of Ryan’s body, Naomi had organized for their next date not to be in one of their homes. It had been tempting, especially when she’d thought about Ryan’s hands on her.
Naomi wanted to show Ryan that she could do other things, too. Being blind didn’t mean Naomi couldn’t go places. She’d felt the need to pick something she knew Ryan wouldn’t be expecting.
And he definitely hadn’t expected Naomi to arrange their next date to be at a go-kart racing track. Not if the surprise in his voice was any indication once he got there.
“I hope you’re good at giving instructions,” she teased, tiptoeing so she could press a kiss against Ryan’s lips. “Don’t worry, we probably won’t die.”
The karts had two seats and two wheels. Naomi assumed they could make this work.
Probably.
Ryan laughed. The sound made Naomi feel a warmth all the way to her toes. “Not dying is pretty important to me,” he teased, “but this looks like fun.” He sounded excited. He bent down to press his lips teasingly against Naomi’s in another kiss.
“At least I know my left from my right,” he quipped, helping Naomi into one of the seats. He closed the door behind her. A short moment later she felt him settle in the neighboring seat. His elbow knocked against her as he placed his hands on the wheel.
He whistled, then clipped his helmet into place. “Have you done this before?” he asked.
She shook her head at the question, clipping her own helmet on.
“Dougie’s not very good at telling me directions while driving,” she joked. Naomi had always been curious about what it would be like. Someone she’d met at work had told her about how go-karts with two seats existed and how their dad had taken them. Ever since, Naomi had wanted to give it a go.
This seemed like the perfect opportunity.
And yeah, she did want to surprise Ryan a little. To challenge whatever he might think she could and couldn’t do. So far, Naomi thought it was going well.
“We’ve got a straight track ahead of us,” Ryan told her, “so we can build up some speed before we need to worry about turning. Then the track curves to the left. I’ll tell you when we get closer.”
He waited while Naomi put her hands on the wheel, giving it an experimental twist left and then right. “Are you nervous?” Ryan asked.
“Oh yes,” she nodded energetically.
Naomi saw absolutely no reason to pretend she wasn’t. At the same time, she didn’t think of it as bad nervous. It seemed crazy not to feel nervous when she was about to drive. And yet, Naomi trusted Ryan. If she was going to do terribly, she was sure he’d take over.
Turning to give Ryan a grin, Naomi bumped her shoulder against his as much as she could. “Question is, are you nervous?”
“Nah,” Ryan answered, shaking his head. Naomi could hear the cocky grin in his voice. “I don’t get nervous. Besides, I think we’ve got this.”
Just like that, the engine roared into life. Naomi could feel the kart moving under them. Even without a visual frame of reference, it felt exhilarating. The way Ryan whooped and cheered next to her definitely helped.
“Okay, turn left now,” he called out.
She did. It was pretty exciting to feel the car move how she made it to. They weren’t going at the greatest of speeds, but once Naomi managed to take another corner, Ryan increased the pace.
“This is fun!” Naomi decided.
At one point, Ryan did have to reach out to steady them slightly away from the sides. Mostly, they seemed to be doing really well. Naomi had assumed that maybe she’d do a bit of the driving and then Ryan would take over, or that she’d bump into something pretty soon after starting. Neither of those things actually happened.
Instead, Ryan kept telling her just before a turn which direction she needed. Naomi began to feel when he broke on a bend, or when he sped up just after it. It helped her know when a corner was coming. Naomi even began to feel the tilt of the go-kart.
Ryan only had to take over fully when they needed to stop. That was after quite a few laps.
Once the go-kart stopped, Naomi turned to Ryan. “This was amazing!” she announced like it hadn’t been her idea in the first place. Taking off her seatbelt and helmet, Naomi pushed herself in against Ryan so she could kiss him. “Thank you!”
Ryan kissed her back, one hand coming up to cup the back of Naomi’s head. “I’m not sure what you’re thanking me for,” he said, his mouth still so close to hers that Naomi could feel his lips framing the words.
“All I did was navigate. It was your idea, and you did all the driving.” He wrapped one arm around her, pulling her as close as the small confines of the kart allowed. “It was excellent,” he agreed. “I think between the two of us, we could manage a race. Pity there’s no one here we can take on.”
He pulled back, though only far enough to unbuckle his own seatbelt. “In case you hadn’t guessed, I’m usually competitive, rather than co-operative,” he teased.
“I probably could’ve guessed,” she teased. Her expression got a bit more serious. “Thank you for letting me drive and not taking over. I get that trusting a blind person to drive you is probably not the easiest thing in the world.” Yes, Naomi had been the one to arrange this but Ryan was the one who’d made this something that Naomi could enjoy doing.
It was, however, almost definitely a good thing there was no one else on the track. Naomi didn’t actually want to crash into someone. She doubted it would be as easy to maneuver around cars.
Ryan hummed, like he was considering whether or not it had been the easiest thing. His shoulder shrugged beside her. “I think it would’ve been more difficult if I hadn’t already trusted you,” he said. “You hardly seem like the kind of person who makes rash decisions and doesn’t think through whether your ideas are safe.”
It felt good, knowing that Ryan trusted her to make good decisions. “Besides, you trusted me enough to come to my house and let me help you around it without Dougie,” Ryan pointed out. “I think trusting you back is only fair.”
Naomi smiled warmly at him. His words made butterflies flutter in her stomach. There was still adrenaline cruising through her body. She wanted to squeeze in at least another lap before they left. Perhaps a small break first would be advisable, Naomi didn’t want to be too excited, lest the fun wore off.
Not that she could truly imagine that being the case. “You’re a very good navigator,” Naomi praised. He really had been. She meant it, too, that she appreciated he hadn’t just steamrolled over her. “Can you fly?” she asked jokingly.
It startled a laugh out of Ryan. “Maybe!” he declared. “I’ve never tried, so I don’t know that I can’t.” It was such a very confident way of looking at it that Naomi grinned. “Is that something you’d want to try?” Ryan asked. “Like how you wanted to be an astronaut?” It was sweet that Ryan remembered that. Naomi knew it hadn’t been that long since she’d told him at their first meeting. It certainly felt like longer.
“It’s not really something I’ve thought about much,” she said honestly. “I was mostly thinking of what other activities I migh
t need a navigator for. Dougie can only do so much.” He definitely couldn’t tell Naomi how to drive a car. Even if this wasn’t quite driving a real car, Naomi had still truly enjoyed it. She wasn’t sure she’d have as much fun flying a plane.
Ryan led them over to some seating so they could sit down for their break. Naomi turned so she could face Ryan, not letting go of his hand. Instead, she laced her fingers through his. “What are some things that you’ve wanted to try but haven’t?”
Ryan paused. Naomi could feel him almost start to speak, then stop himself. It made her wonder what his first thought had been, and whether their relationship was still too new for her to press for more.
Before she could make up her mind either way, Ryan cleared his throat. “I’m lucky,” he said. “I’ve been able to try most of the things I’ve wanted to. Ski jumping, roller derby, travel.” It was nice that Ryan at least recognized his good fortune.
“I want to try ice fishing,” Ryan settled on. “I’ve never found anyone who thought it sounded like a fun time. I think going alone would suck.”
“Ice fishing!” Naomi exclaimed with some surprise. Whatever she had expected Ryan to say, Naomi didn’t think it was that. Maybe she shouldn’t be that surprised. Ryan was not at all like what she’d assumed he would be. Naomi liked that. Even if it included dreams of ice fishing.
Truthfully, Naomi could see why most people didn’t want to go with Ryan. “It sounds cold and kind of boring,” she offered, a little apologetically. “But I guess I could go with you as long as I didn’t have to sit on a freezing lake. Don’t they have little houses you can move onto the ice? That sounds marginally more appealing. I’d be terrible at running away from a bear.”
“I could spring for a little house,” Ryan confirmed. There was something warm in his voice that made Naomi’s stomach swoop. “You can fish from a snowmobile if the ice is thick enough. Then you can take a grill, and eat right there in the middle of a lake.” He sounded so excited. It was unexpectedly sweet.
Shifting closer, Ryan brushed a hand over the small of Naomi’s back. “I promise, I’m not just obsessed with everything related to ice,” he teased. “I like traveling in the summer. Fishing off a boat is pretty great, and a lot more comfortable than sitting in the cold.”
Naomi laughed at that. She wasn’t all that sure that Ryan wasn’t just obsessed with everything related to ice. She found herself not minding it. Not when Ryan managed to sound so excited when talking about fishing.
“Did you grow up doing a lot of outside activities?” Naomi asked. Her own childhood had been a bit of a mix. Being blind brought challenges when it came to running around and climbing trees. Her dad had done a great job to give Naomi as much freedom as he could, but there had always been limitations.
Ryan, Naomi imagined, had had a much more adventurous upbringing.
“Yeah,” Ryan confirmed. His fingers drew idle patterns against Naomi’s back through the material of her top. It made her shift in her seat, arousal teasing at her senses. She focused on what Ryan was saying, secure in the knowledge that there would be more touching later.
“Mom was always really active,” he explained. “She loved hockey, obviously.” Naomi remembered Ryan saying it had been his mom who’d been the reason he’d started playing. “She loved camping, too. Used to take us out of state for a week every summer. Until Lara got too old for holidays with us.” There was no bitterness in Ryan’s voice. It was obvious that, however they might have teased each other when they were younger, they were close now.
“Why did you want to be an astronaut?” Ryan asked. “Were you really into science?”
“Kind of.” Naomi nodded. “I liked the idea of space travel. To be fair, I imagined it more like how they show it in sci-fi films, you know? Adventure and so on,” she explained. Her expression turned slightly more serious. “For a while, when I was about ten, maybe eleven, I thought that science would make it so I could see.”
It wasn’t quite a secret but Naomi hadn’t told anyone about it before. She presumed that people knew that at some point in her life she must’ve wished to be able to see. Now that Naomi was an adult, she knew that just wouldn’t ever happen. As a kid, it had been a lot harder to understand that. And even more so - to accept it.
Ryan’s hand in hers squeezed gently. He didn’t say anything. Naomi realized after a moment that he probably didn’t know what the right thing to say was. She hadn’t meant to put him on the spot. It was just true, and it had felt right to talk about it.
Finally, Ryan gave a small sigh. “It sucks that science can’t make it so people can see,” he said. He was right, it did suck. Naomi gave a small sigh of her own. “Do you still wish that it could?” Ryan asked.
“No,” Naomi answered truthfully, giving Ryan’s hand a squeeze back as if to assure him that there wasn’t a right thing to say. Because there really wasn’t. Being blind sucked, sure. Naomi had learned how to manage just fine. Driving cars was totally out, as were a list of other things, but... she didn’t think focusing on the things she couldn’t do was going to do her any good.
Maybe it would’ve been harder if she’d ever been able to ever see. Being blind since birth meant that Naomi could only presume what seeing was like. “It kind of sucks that I’ll never be able to drive a real car or know what ‘aesthetically pleasing’ means, but...” Naomi gave a shrug there. “There’s other ways to tell beauty,” she told Ryan, bringing a hand up to brush over his cheek.
He grinned. “I am very beautiful,” he agreed, with such confidence that Naomi couldn’t help laughing. “I would offer to tell you what I look like, but I guess knowing I have hazel eyes and brown hair doesn’t really mean anything to you.” Her fingers moved lower, over the slightest trace of stubble on Ryan’s chin.
“Not to mention, I could lie to make myself sound better,” he teased. “Not that I need to.” He pressed a kiss to Naomi’s fingers as they passed over his lips. “What do you find beautiful?” he asked. “Not in people. I mean, I don’t know, like how sunsets are beautiful.”
“Sunsets are pretty beautiful when you’re blind, too,” Naomi offered easily. “I can still feel the change in temperature. It takes more focus. I don’t know if I truly can find it as beautiful as someone who sees the sun disappearing into the ocean, but...” Naomi gave a small shrug.
There were less visual things she found beautiful, too. “Music’s pretty great,” Naomi grinned. “And bird songs. I like the sound of nature. It’s always changing. Sometimes you get different birds, different bugs and wind, leaves rustling,” she listed. “I think you’re pretty beautiful, too. You make great sounds,” Naomi grinned.
Ryan laughed. That, right there? That rich, deep chuckle? That was one of Naomi’s favorite sounds that Ryan made. “Well, now that I know that, I’ll have to make sure I’m extra loud next time,” he teased.
“I don’t know if there’s much to listen to on the ice,” he offered, apologetically. “But camping has loads of noises. I used to love waking up really early. I’d lie in my tent listening to the cicadas and the katydids.” Naomi nodded. That was exactly what she’d meant, how you could enjoy listening to things even if you couldn’t see them. “We could go camping one weekend, when it gets a bit warmer,” Ryan offered.
Naomi could feel the slight pause. “It’s not too early to be thinking about weekends away, is it?” Ryan asked.
“Only if those weekends go disastrously,” Naomi teased. She wasn’t sure what the rule or requirement was or when you could go away with someone. The idea of camping with Ryan wasn’t unappealing. It was, Naomi realized, in large part due to how much she trusted Ryan.
There was no doubt in Naomi’s mind that Ryan would look out for her. It made her feel safe. In turn, that made her feel like she could do things. Like go-karting.
“Can we go for another lap?” she asked nodding towards the general direction of the race track.
“Of course we can,” Ryan agreed. Naomi appreciated how l
ittle hesitation there was. Even now that she’d pointed out that trusting her might not be the easiest thing, Ryan was ready to do it again at the drop of a hat.
“Watching you enjoy go-karting is pretty beautiful,” Ryan said, getting to his feet and giving Naomi a hand up to hers. “Even though I can’t really see your face, because of the helmet. Watching you respond to my directions, watching you get more confident at it…” He shrugged. “It’s really great. I’m glad you invited me.”
Naomi had known this would be an interesting date. It pleased her just how good it had turned out to be. She gave Ryan a wide smile, before they returned to the go-karts. Despite having been around the track once already, this time was in no way any less exciting.
Like before, Ryan gave good instructions on when Naomi needed to turn the wheel right or left, when she might need to break a little bit. It was fun in a way that Naomi hadn’t even expected.
By the time they were done with their second go-around, Naomi felt almost as ecstatic as she had the first time. Possibly even more, because it was much easier to be confident now that she knew Ryan didn’t doubt her. Nor did she doubt him. It was probably what made them such a good team on the track.
And hopefully off it, too.
Once out of the karts, Naomi was sure her smile was never going to leave her face. “That was so great!” she exclaimed, taking off her helmet. “Who knew driving could be so much fun?” she teased.
Ryan’s hand slipped into hers, giving it a squeeze. “So what’s next?” he asked. “Do you want to go and get a celebratory ice cream?”
“Ice cream sounds excellent.” Naomi nodded.
It didn’t take them very long to change out of their go-karting gear. Naomi linked her arm through Ryan’s so he could lead her. She’d left Dougie at home again, since he couldn’t come in the go-kart with them.
Empty Net (Madison Howlers Book 3) Page 6
