In the Shadows

by Jill Nolan

  "What could you have done?"

  "I could have gone with him. He was my brother, and after all he did for us, he didn’t deserve to be abandoned. But I couldn’t bring myself to leave everyone else I loved behind.”

  “What did your mother and the rest of your family think about the deal your brother made?"

  "They were ashamed of him, like they would have been of me. They were gone, though, so I didn’t care what they would have thought; I just wanted revenge. That's all that mattered to me. Sometimes I wonder what they’d think of me now.”

  "Maybe you made a mistake in making a deal, but since then, all you've done is what you had to do to survive."

  "I've done a lot throughout my life that most people would consider wrong. But it's more than what I've done; it's what I want to do, what I would do if I thought I could get away with it without consequence. When I look human, I am nothing more than a monster masquerading as a man. It's when I am a vampire, hunting my next meal, that I feel most alive."

  "I don't think you're as bad as you'd like to believe. If you really didn't care about anyone else, you wouldn't bother trying to find certain types of people to kill."

  "What can I say? I like trying to make the world a better place. Here's the thing, I could kill innocent people and still feel nothing. That doesn't make me a good person."

  "But you don't do that. And you're more than that anyway. You seem to universally dislike people, yet you help strangers and are generally kind to everyone."

  "What you see, is me acting like a person."

  "Do you act with me?" I ask, worried I've misread him completely.

  He looks up at me with concern in his eyes. “No. You’re one of a few people I don’t have to act around. But that doesn’t mean that you see me for who I am, for everything that I am. I try to hold back my darkness around you, always afraid of extinguishing your light.”

  "And what about your family?"

  "I don't have to fake that I care, but I still have to act like I'm halfway normal. With my brother though, I can be myself."

  "Maybe you only care for a few people, but would you not do anything for them?"

  He nods. "Don't think that makes me redeemable. I'd burn down the whole world to protect them...to protect you."

  His words hang between us. His expression is serious, and his eyes communicate how much I mean to him, which is more than I imagined. I look away from him, burying my head in his neck. I wait for his words and the way he looked at me to freak me out, but they don't. I don't know if I care about him as deeply as he seems to care about me, but I think I could. I think he's someone I could even fall in love with, as foreign as that is to me. I've never been in love.

  I wonder if I could live the nomadic life he has. Part of me likes the idea of constantly traveling; I've always had a desire to. I've already dreamed of visiting cities and natural wonders around the world, staying long enough to actually learn about the place and the people and the culture. But the other part of me wonders if it would get old, if I would miss having one home.

  I think I tend to get sick of people and places after a while. Not my family and closest friends, but everyone else. I was ready to move on from my high school after three years, and I'm ready to move on from my college now, even if I'm not ready to join the real world.

  Maybe being a nomad wouldn't be so bad. It could be amazing, especially with Mason. But it's way too early for thoughts of travelling the world together.

  Chapter 31

  I pull up to a small house, about twenty minutes from my cabin. Mason only lives a few miles away, but because he's on the other side of the river, I have to go down through town to go across the bridge then back up.

  I knock on what I think is the front door. This is my first time here, and I'm a little nervous to see his place. I'm wondering if he's got a bunch of weird shit in there, and that's why he hadn't invited me over sooner. Or maybe he's just messy, and it took him this long to clean.

  I'm also a little nervous to meet his brother for the first time. Mason told me he knows everything, so I can talk openly about any of it if I want.

  Mason opens the door, greeting me with a hug, and I melt against him. I inhale deeply as I step inside. It smells delicious in here, like meat and potatoes or something equally hearty. Then I spot Cody.

  “Cody?" I turn back to Mason. "He’s your brother?”

  “Yeah,” Cody says, like it’s obvious. He gives me a quick hug as I try to process how I missed this.

  I'm thinking that Cody was sitting right next to me when that girl came up, talking about Mason’s scars. “Wait a minute…is that how you knew I figured out who you were?” I point a finger at Cody. "You told him what that girl said, didn't you?"

  “It was more your reaction to it,” Cody says. “And I had to...sorry about that.”

  “It's okay. It’s better than how I pictured him finding out, which involved him being super creepy, lurking in the shadows and listening in on my conversations.”

  “He did that, too.”

  Mason shoots Cody a glare, “Only a few times; I had to make sure you weren’t going to tell anyone what you saw.”

  “You should have just threatened me right away, then I wouldn't have spent so much time worrying about what to do or if you were going to come back to kill me.” My comment started light-hearted enough, but by the end, I sounded bitter. Why did he put me through all that, anyway?

  He looks at me guiltily. “I'm sorry. I thought that would make it worse, but you're right, I should have let you know you weren't in danger from me.” I guess he didn't know the best thing to do either.

  “What you should have done is left town, especially after you blew up nine dudes,” Cody says.

  “Will that attract hunters?” I ask, alarmed at the possibility.

  “It could," Masons says.

  “It will; it’s just a matter of time, especially at the rate you're going,” Cody says.

  “I’m only staying through the summer.”

  My heart sinks a little at the thought of the end of the summer. What happens then? Where will he go next?

  “Why don’t you leave, if staying puts you in danger?” I ask, concerned for him even though I don't want him to go anywhere.

  “I need to make sure you’re safe. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you again.”

  I just nod. I’m grateful for his protection, but I know he can’t possibly live up to that promise.

  "How about a drink?" Cody asks me. "Mason had me get some kind of sweet white wine for you, but we also have red wine and beer."

  "White wine please." Cody walks away to the kitchen on the right.

  "I'm almost done with dinner," Mason says, following Cody to the kitchen.

  I look around. The house is scarcely decorated, but the few things they do have are so out-of-date. I spot a picture sitting on a small table. I pick it up, glancing at the older man pictured with a fish. He doesn't look anything like Cody. "Is this your dad?"

  "Hell no," Cody snickers.

  "Then—"

  "We don't even know the guy."

  "So why do you have his picture here?"

  "Because this is his place."

  Why are they living in another guy's house? Did Mason kill him? "Where is he?" I demand.

  "I didn't kill him," Mason says, catching my implication. "We're renting his place for the summer."

  "Oh. Okay."

  "Not that we haven't lived in the house of someone Mason's killed before," Cody adds.

  "Why?"

  "Because we knew no one'd miss him for a while, and we needed somewhere to stay." Cody explains this so nonchalantly, like we're not talking about murder. "Wine?" he holds out a glass for me. "C'mon, let's go in the living room."

  I take the glass and follow him through the kitchen and into a room with a few couches. How does Cody not have any qualms about Mason constantly killing people? It's strange to talk so openly about something so dark. It disorienting, lik
e I'm in a Twilight Zone or something.

  "It doesn't bother you that he kills people every other week?" I speak in a low voice, not wanting Mason to overhear.

  "The people he kills are a bunch of shitheads. Trust me, the majority of people are safer when he's there to take out the garbage."

  "What about Tom's dad? He's your friend, isn't he?"

  "Yeah, he is. And I feel for him, but his dad got what was coming to him. He shouldn't have hurt you."

  "What about the people who are just assholes? That doesn't make them deserving of death. Like Derek."

  "Derek roofied a girl last year. She ended up still going home with her friends, safe, but who knows if that was the only time. When Mason was able to get him alone the night of that party, he decided his time was up. Mason still has to survive, so yeah, sometimes he has to go for the opportune person rather than someone who is more deserving. You got in his head a little. In a good way, I guess. He's been working harder to find people he thinks you'd deem killable."

  "Killable?"

  "You know, someone you'd be okay with him killing. A few weeks ago, it was a man abusing his wife and kid.”

  "Was it wrong for me to kill him?" Mason asks, suddenly appearing in the doorway.

  I've always felt that people shouldn't be allowed to live after certain crimes. "No. I guess I’m glad you did."

  He looks proud that I approve. Twisted as it is, he did this for me. He put in more effort to find someone I would consider deserving of death. Twisted or not, it’s sweet as fuck.

  If he has to kill people, ideally it would be people whose absence on this earth would be an improvement. Maybe I can even help him find the bad guys, and he can kill them. Could be a fun couple’s activity.

  "Dinner's ready."

  The meal he prepared, consisting of venison, potatoes, and green beans, is surprisingly good. While we eat, they tell me stories about each other, their teen years, and the different places they've lived. We don't talk about killing anymore or anything vampire-related.

  As Mason clears the plates away, I get a chance to really look at the table we were eating on. It’s made with different shades of wood planks, making it look unique and creatively rustic.

  “I like this table,” I say.

  “I made that,” Mason says.

  “Really? It’s beautiful. I don’t really know much about building furniture, but it looks well-made.”

  “It is well-made,” he says.

  I shake my head at him with a smile.

  "He does make great furniture, which comes in handy. And the extra income is nice,” Cody says.

  “What do you do?" I ask him.

  "I'm a Systems Analyst."

  "Oh," I say like I know what he's talking about.

  He smiles. "Computers. Like IT."

  "Oh, okay," I say, this time with actual understanding. "Where did you go to college?"

  "Somewhere in nowhere, New York," Cody says. "They had a good computer science program. Plus, it was close enough to a decently sized city so this one could drink."

  "But you didn't go to school," I say to Mason. "Why not?"

  "I didn't have a real identity at the time. I had a fake driver's license, and that was it. I learned on my own while I was there, using the college's resources and sneaking into the bigger lectures. Grace, Cody's mom, continued to teach me through phone calls and video chat."

  "Did you tell her about how you found our family?" Cody asks him.

  Mason narrows his eyes at his brother. "Not the specifics," he says slowly.

  Why is he being weird about this? I need to know now. "How did he find your family?" I ask Cody, excited to learn more about Mason.

  "The story starts with Mason grabbing some guy and bringing him to the middle of the woods to feed from him. After he's done and the guy is dead and dry, he becomes aware of another presence. He looks around and spots a wolf that's been watching him. And I'm not talking about just any wolf. This is a lone wolf who is big and ferocious as hell. When the wolf realizes he's been spotted, by another predator no less, he snarls, making him seem ten times deadlier. Mason doesn't move, in awe of this big, scary wolf that looks just as alone as him. Wolves are sacred to our people, you see, but he questions if this particular wolf is really sacred, because he has no pack and looks straight rabid.

  "Once their stare-off is over, and neither one of them has moved, the wolf decides it's probably safe to turn around and move away from the strange creature in front of him. Mason decides he should follow this wolf. Every few yards, the wolf turns around, sees Mason, and growls at him in warning. For his part, Mason just lowers his eyes and bows his head, trying to show respect and that he's not a threat. This goes on for a while, until the wolf approaches him. Mason stands completely still as the wolf inspects him by sniffing him out. Then they go back to follow the leader.

  "Well, the wolf leads him right into a man with a shotgun. Mason's wondering if he should kill this white man, who's talking to him in a language he doesn't understand. But the wolf led him here, so instead he tries talking to him, even though there's no way he's going to understand him. To his surprise, the man seems to understand at least partially and lowers his shotgun.

  "Now, you may have guessed already that the man in this story is my dad. He finds a vampire in the woods, but he's able to see past the monstrous, blood-covered exterior to the lost kid beneath it. As luck would have it, he'd seen his fair share of the supernatural. He tries asking this vampire who he is and what he wants, but he's getting blank looks. Then the vampire speaks, and he recognizes the language even if he only knows a few words. See, he married a Chippewa woman, but like I said, he only knows a few words, so he says hello my friend, aaniin niijii.

  "That, plus the fact that he lowers his weapon, is enough for Mason to trust him enough to turn human. My dad leads him to our driveway, then calls for my mom. He tells her what happened then asks her to speak to him, find out who he is. Mason tells her the short version of what happened to him. All she sees is a boy not much older than her son in extreme pain. She invites him in and the rest is history. They told everyone he was my cousin who they adopted when his parents died."

  "Wow," I say. "I can't believe your parents took him in. Weren't they afraid for their lives, for your life?"

  "They were, but in the end, they knew he needed them. Mason was only fifteen, he'd just lost his whole world, and he needed help. They could see that. They thought of me and how they'd want someone to help me if ever I was in a situation like that...as unlikely as that would be."

  "That's an amazing story. It's incredible that you found them because of a wolf. Why did you follow it, anyway?"

  "Like he said, wolves are sacred, and this one was...different. I just had a feeling."

  Chapter 32

  Allison wanted to have people over tonight to pregame before going to the bars. I agreed as long as we had it outside. I know how quickly this group can get rowdy, even with only ten of us here.

  Allison and I are waiting for Ben and Hanna to lose their beer pong game to Tom and Chugs. Nic and Luca are playing bags against the two girls they brought. Nic is clearly hooking up with one of them, which feels a little weird to me, but I'm happy for him. We're not exactly talking much, but since we have the same friends, we've been friendly toward each other. He hasn't made another move on me, so I assume he's moved on.

  Mason and Cody are visiting their parents for the weekend to celebrate their mom's birthday. When Mason found out Nic was coming over, he was pissed. It's not like I invited him, though. Hanna asked if they could come since she'd made plans to hang out with them already, and I didn't see a problem with that. Mason has a jealous side, for sure. It's one of his faults, but it's not a deal breaker.

  When the bags game ends, Nic comes up to me. “Hey, babe.” He sounds drunk. I didn't notice it when they first got here, but he must have been drinking for a while before this.

  “Hey,” I say, uneasily.

  “Ca
n we talk?”

  “Uh, sure.”

  He puts his arm around my hip and guides me away from everyone.

  “Nic…” I say uncomfortably as I pull away from his arm. As I twist, I lock eyes with the girl he brought here, and she does not look happy. Now I’m even more annoyed with Nic, being all touchy with me when he’s got a girl who likes him right over there.

  “I don’t understand why we stopped hanging out. I miss you.” Crap. I was really hoping that’s not what this conversation would be about.

  “We're hanging out now.”

  “No, I mean I miss being with you.”

  “I’m sorry…it just wasn’t going to work in the long term, so it seemed best to end it before it got too far.” He moves towards me, while pulling my hips towards him. He’s so drunk. Why does he have to be so drunk right now? I'm really glad Mason isn't here to see this. I'd have to figure out a way to keep him from beating the shit out of Nic. I push his hands off me.

  “Why couldn’t it work? I’ll be moving here soon. We could have a real relationship.”

  “I can just…tell. It's not meant to be.”

  “And what about Mason?”

  “I didn’t mean for that to happen…I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

  “You haven’t even given me a chance.” He cups my cheek and pulls me in for a kiss, surprising me. I feel his lips press against mine before I can recover. I push him away, feeling bad that I have to turn him down and guilty that I let him kiss me.

  Something behind him catches my eye.

  It’s Mason. He’s stalking towards us, a look of pure rage on his face.

  My heart starts beating erratically, part fearful of what he’ll do to Nic, part fearful of what he’ll think of me.

  Then I notice that his skin has taken on a gray color, his face has developed those unnatural ridges, his ears are growing. Oh my god, what is happening? He can’t turn here, in front of all these people. Is he insane? Does he realize what he’s doing?

  I really start to panic now, even unsure if he means me harm. But I can’t believe that…so I walk toward him with my hands out, trying to placate him, to calm him.