by Kathy Lyons
And since Josh wasn’t in the mood to talk either, he spent the time researching fairy deals. He did not want everything that had happened in the past six weeks to reset. The fairy mulligan might work for Nero—he’d get his team back—but then Josh wouldn’t get recruited. He would remain a lost doctoral student with nothing in his life but a cosplay weekend once a year.
He’d grown, and he did not want to lose that, so he made a plan. Which was when his father cut the last thread and handed him the cloak. The man still didn’t speak. Not until they were walking outside to Josh’s Uber and his father’s truck. The garment was carefully hidden in a large reusable grocery sack.
“Thank you for this—” Josh said, but his father cut him off.
“I know what you are,” he said, his voice thick and scratchy. “It’s the family curse, and you got it. It’s not your fault; it was in the genes. But I can’t have you opening your brother’s or sister’s eyes. They can’t know or they’ll be howling at the moon too.”
The air froze in Josh’s chest at that, and all his words choked off. But it didn’t matter because his father kept talking.
“That’s why I made this. That’s why I’m risking jail and worse giving you a wolf covering.” Then he finally lifted his eyes to stare right at his son. “Maybe it’ll keep you alive, maybe it won’t. Either way, you’re dead to us. I won’t lose another child to this curse.”
“Dad—” Josh protested, the word half-strangled as it escaped his lips.
“Good luck, Josh. If a cursed soul can have luck.” Then he turned and walked away.
Josh thought about calling him back. He had so many questions, so many feelings. But none of them resolved into words. And while he was still struggling, his father got in his truck and left. Josh echoed the movement, climbing into the Uber while his thoughts spun. And damn it, he didn’t even have Nero as a witness. Around midafternoon, Josh had convinced Nero to check into the nearest hotel and get some rest. He needed to be sharp tomorrow, no matter what happened. Josh even promised to pay for great delivery pizza as soon as Nero texted him the hotel and room number.
Which meant his job was done. All of it. Nero had the prototype shield in his car, Josh had the Volcax hoodie, and his father had closed the door on Josh forever. Done. He needed to get back to Nero.
He ought to let the guy sleep. He really shouldn’t say any of things bumping around in his head. And yet the idea that he would never get another chance burned like fire in his gut. He slipped inside the hotel room and looked around. The room was dark and smelled of deep-dish pizza, but Josh’s werewolf senses could easily make out Nero lying on his back on one of the two queen-size beds. His arm was thrown over his eyes and his breath was steady, but Josh had been sleeping next to the man for almost six weeks. He knew when Nero was asleep and when he was just pretending. Right now the man wasn’t even faking sleep well.
“Have you gotten any rest?” Josh asked.
“A little.”
“Do you want me to get another room?”
Nero dropped his arm from across his eyes to look at Josh. “Do you want a different one?”
Josh shook his head as he went deeper into the darkness. “We’ve got a single hoodie,” he said.
“Bitter will duplicate it and the shield.”
Like he trusted a fairy with Nero’s life… not.
“Is there any way I can talk you out of going tomorrow?”
“No. I’m sorry.”
He figured as much. “Then I hope it works out for you.”
“It’ll work out for you too. If my team doesn’t die, then Wulf, Inc. won’t go looking for tech support. We’ll never force the shift on you and—”
“You need techies. And you said I’d probably change at some point anyway.”
Nero blew out a breath. “You might. You might not. Your father has the gene, and he’s never gone furry. Neither has Ivy or Bruce. Just your one uncle.”
“Yeah, I read his file.” The entire family thought his uncle had died in Vietnam. Nope. Meanwhile, Nero brought him back to the painful present with a surprising apology. “Look, Josh, I know I’ve been a real dick today. You were right that I was pushing you away.” He shrugged. “Somehow that felt easier.”
“Because it is easier. For you.”
Nero had the grace to flush. “Yeah. It was, and I’m sorry. And now you get to go back to your real life as if none of this ever happened to you. As if I never happened to you.”
Josh dropped down on the second bed, abruptly too exhausted to deal with Nero’s bullshit while on his feet. “You sound like that’s a good thing. Like I’d want to forget everything that’s happened in the last six weeks.”
“Don’t you? You’ve been bitching this whole time about how we blew up your life. How we’ve taken you from your family, screwed up your PhD, taken you away from Savannah. Well, now none of that will happen.”
Josh rubbed a hand over his face. “Yeah, you did.” He blew out a breath. “But maybe my life wasn’t so great to begin with. Maybe it needed to get blown up.”
Nero’s brows went up and he flicked on the bedside light. “Come again?”
“The way you guys go about recruitment sucks. It’s fucking awful, and I’m going to make sure that gets fixed. But in my case….” He shrugged. “I was drifting. I wasn’t going to leave school until they kicked me out. I didn’t have anything I wanted to do and was afraid of going out and looking for it.” He stared hard at Nero. “But now I do. Now I have Wulf, Inc. I like the work there, and you guys sure as hell need the help.”
“We’ve been doing fine for centuries.”
“Well, it’s a new century, and things are changing.” Josh leaned forward. “But I won’t remember any of this, will I? Because you’re going to wipe it away with one big fairy deal. Say you win tomorrow. Everything will go back how it started, and I’ll never be recruited.” Josh stood up. “For the record, I don’t want to erase that. Yeah, you fucked up, but that doesn’t mean I want to forget you. To never have what we did? What we—” His voice broke, and he felt like a wuss here, trying to express how much he felt for Nero. How much he still loved the guy. And come tomorrow morning—no matter what happened—it would all end. If Nero won, then Josh would never be recruited. This timeline would disappear. And if Nero failed, he would still be whisked off to Fairyland. Assuming he survived at all.
Which meant that even if Josh got recruited to Wulf, Inc., it wouldn’t be like it had been. It wouldn’t be Nero holding his body when he came out from a shift. It wouldn’t be Nero poking him into calisthenics or forcing him to eat meatloaf and broccoli when he’d really rather have had nachos and a soda. He wouldn’t have the big lug in his bed, in his heart, in his body.
“We balance each other, asshole. And you’re going to wipe all that away.”
Nero sat up, but his head seemed to hang heavy on his shoulders. “Don’t ask me to choose between you and them. They came first, Josh. Do you know why I fought us so hard? Because I knew from the beginning that it wasn’t real. I knew I’d go for my do-over, and either way, we wouldn’t happen.”
“It was fucking real!” Josh screamed.
Nero had been waiting for Josh to lose it. That was how they worked. Nero poked and pushed until Josh faced whatever he was feeling. Until it all came out in an agonizing rush of anger and pain. And no matter how violent the explosion, Nero was always there to catch his pieces. To hold him while Josh released everything he’d kept trapped inside. And together they weathered the storm.
This was no different. Josh screamed and lunged forward. Nero caught him when he was trying to both hit and kiss the man at the same time. He let Josh’s momentum carry them backward onto the mattress, and then, when Josh’s bellow became a choked-off sob, Nero held him even tighter.
“It is real,” Josh kept saying. “It’s real.”
“Yeah,” Nero murmured into his hair. “Yeah, it is.”
Josh held on to Nero’s broad shoulders as he
clutched the man tight to his chest. Josh wrapped his legs around Nero’s thighs, and he held on as if that could keep them from getting ripped apart. As if it would keep them from getting erased. But it couldn’t, and they both knew it.
When Josh lifted his face for a kiss, Nero met him with his lips. And then they were devouring each other. Mouths, hands, legs, dicks. Everything entwined with everything else. They sucked, they rubbed, and they needed.
The sex was hard and fast. They spread, shoved, sucked, and rammed with a brutality only werewolves could withstand. And when they were face-to-face with Nero deep in Josh’s ass, he held the man still and growled into his ear.
“You’re mine,” Nero said. Then he bit down into Josh’s shoulder until blood dripped onto the sheets.
Josh howled, arching backward not to get away but to impale himself deeper. And then he flashed his own teeth before he bit down on the thick part of Nero’s deltoid. No matter what happened, Nero would bear the mark of Josh’s bite. He wouldn’t forget even if Josh was erased.
“Mine,” Josh echoed as his body began to pulse around Nero.
“Yours,” Nero agreed, and together they rode the whirlwind to bliss. And even when it was done and they’d collapsed boneless on the bed, they still didn’t stop. Nero reached for Josh, and Josh reached back. They caressed wherever they touched. They kissed what they could reach. And their groins ended up rubbing against each other while they both hissed in pleasure.
There were no words. Just the sounds of sex—harsh and raw. Then sex—gentle and slow. Then sex without sex—just holding one another in silence.
Eventually they cleaned up and settled in to sleep. But even then, when languor made his whole body heavy, Josh didn’t sleep. He knew Nero was awake too, and he refused to miss a moment of their time together.
Eventually Nero spoke.
“I’ll tell them. Before I go with the fairies. I’ll tell them to recruit you.”
“It won’t be the same.”
“No. But maybe it’ll be okay.”
It didn’t feel like anything would ever be okay again, but Josh nodded because Nero seemed to need him to. And then, in the darkest part of the night, Nero kept talking about something that seemed completely irrelevant. But nothing about Nero was irrelevant, so Josh listened as if he was being told state secrets.
“I liked a couple of my mother’s boyfriends, back when I was a kid. They were good guys who watched out for us. I still remember their names: Dan Ellis and then, a few months later, Junior Merrill.”
“What happened to them?”
Nero shook his head. “One day they were there, the next they were gone. There was usually a fight, but there were so many fights in those days, they all melded together.”
“You were a kid. How were you to know what was going on?”
“I did know, and it was really simple. Everybody leaves eventually. It could be quick, could be slow, but one day they’re gone. It’s the nature of life. People appear….” He caressed Josh’s shoulder. “And then something happens, and they go.” His hand flopped down to the mattress.
Josh blew out a breath. “It’s not always like that. Some people stick around for the long haul.” He would have.
“So I’m told.” Nero pushed up on his elbow and looked down at Josh. “That’s what I swore when I took over as leader of my combat pack. That I would stick with it for the long haul. That I would do whatever it took to stay with them, no matter what.”
So this was where Nero was going. “You don’t have to justify your choice. I get it. How many times have you talked about the importance of your pack? That loyalty goes to the pack. That love is held within the pack.”
“I can’t let them die. Not when I can stop it.”
Josh looked away from Nero’s fierce expression. He stared at the ceiling and spoke from his heart. “I get it,” he said. And he did. “I even love you for it.” Nero was someone who was faithful. He wouldn’t abandon someone he loved if they screwed up, and he sure as hell would cover that someone’s ass when the shit hit the fan. Josh understood that. He just hadn’t realized that Nero wasn’t making a new pack. He was going back to his old one.
“I didn’t know I’d fall in love,” Nero whispered, and Josh’s gaze snapped back to him.
“What?”
“Yeah,” Nero rasped as he dropped back onto the bed. “It’s love. Fucking thing hurts enough. It’s gotta be love.”
“Yeah,” Josh echoed, feeling the pain in his whole soul.
“But I can’t—”
“I know,” Josh interrupted. No point in belaboring it. Nero couldn’t abandon his first pack, so he had to abandon Josh. “You need to get some rest. You need to be fresh in the morning.” He started to get off the bed—Nero was a big guy and he liked to spread out in his sleep—but Nero grabbed his arm before he could go far.
“Stay,” he said. “Stay with me now. Just until—”
“However long you need,” Josh said. “I’m here for you. I promise.”
“Thanks.” They snuggled together, bodies entwined, breath intermingling as they pressed forehead to forehead. And then, right when Josh started to relax, Nero whispered again. “I’m so sorry I was such a dick. I didn’t want this to hurt so much.”
“How’d that work out for you?”
“Like I’m cutting out my own beating heart.”
“Yeah,” Josh whispered. “Me too.”
They slept hard and deep for too little time. And when the alarm went off, neither of them spoke. They got their stuff together and headed out to the nearest park. Fairies liked greenery, and Bitterroot was no different. Once there, Josh laid out the harness, and Nero spoke in an undertone that nonetheless carried the throb of his alpha voice.
“Drake Bitterroot, I call thee. Drake Bitterroot, I call thee. Drake Bitterroot, I call—”
“Cutting it close there, aren’t you?”
Josh jerked backward as a slender youth, about three feet tall, appeared in front of them. He wore dark green everywhere plus a couple of butterflies on his shirt, and his skin was the color of an oak tree beneath the bark. His eyes were sharp black points, and his expression was friendly despite his sour tone. And he missed absolutely nothing as he took in Nero, Josh, and the shield and hoodie that lay on the ground between them. He also wore no less than seven different types of watches.
“That it?” Bitterroot walked around the shield. He touched it, pushed his fingers into the sticky paste that Josh had created, and then prodded the hoodie with his toe. “Hmmm. Clever design. Your work, I assume?” he asked as he looked at Josh.
“Yes. I’m—”
“Don’t tell him your name,” Nero interrupted. He looked at Bitterroot. “He’s with me. That’s all you have to know.”
Bitterroot pouted a moment, but then he shrugged. “All right, With Me, let’s talk specifics here. Tell me what I need to know to duplicate these.”
Josh frowned. “Um, I’ve got the specifications in my laptop.”
The fairy rolled his eyes as if Josh were especially stupid. “Not specifications. Spare me from mortal specifications.” He said the word as if even the sound of it nauseated him. “Tell me what you were thinking when you made it.”
“My father made the hoodie—”
“When you got the idea. When you created—”
“He wants your feelings, Josh. Fairies deal in feelings.”
Josh blinked. “What?”
Nero shrugged. “Hell if I understand it, but they do. Tell him how you felt when you got the idea. What emotions carried you through when you designed it for the first time? What were you feeling as you adjusted the specs?”
“I was….” Josh thought back. “I was excited. I was making something good.” His gaze caught on Nero. “I was going to make you so happy.” That had been the overriding feeling in every moment of the creation process: that he was going to make Nero so happy when it was done.
His gaze caught and held on Nero’s for
a long moment, and it was as though they were connected at a gut level. Josh was trying to say that every part of this harness had been a gift to Nero. And Nero was answering, Thank you, I love you, and I’m so sorry it ended like this.
“Done!” Bitterroot exclaimed. And when Josh looked down, sure enough, there were five full shields on the ground and a stack of matching hoodies. Even more confusing, Bitterroot carefully draped a large egg-shaped item onto each shield as they watched, binding it there in some magical fairy way with one of his watches.
“What is that?” Josh demanded.
“Something of faery that will absorb the heat. It wasn’t the answer by itself, but it may help keep your people alive.” Then, when the last egg was set, Bitterroot looked up with a grin. “Anything else? No? Okay, then, have fun catching the demon!”
And then Nero was gone. There was no clap, no snap, not even a blink. One second Nero was standing there with the shields at his feet, and the next the space was empty.
Gone.
Josh scrambled to keep up. His mind was reeling from how abrupt it had been, but he’d already planned for this. So before he lost his chance, he turned to Bitterroot.
“Before you go,” he said, “I’d like to make a deal.”
Chapter 26
NERO STUMBLED as he appeared in Wisconsin. He’d been thinking of his last goodbye to Josh, and suddenly he was here again, holding a Crazy Cat Lady T-shirt. Just like before, Cream and Coffee were already wolves, playing happily with each other while they kept an eye on whether Nero would wear the tee. Pauly stood defiantly in front of him, daring him to say no, and Mother….
Mother had leaped backward with her T-shirt half off. She’d been stripping before her shift but was now was reaching for her gun to shoot the shields that had abruptly appeared at her feet.
“What the hell?” she said.
“Don’t shoot them!” Nero commanded as he dropped the tee. Then he took a breath, his gaze going again over every single one of them—even Pauly, with his smirk and his cell phone hidden behind his back so he could take a pictures of Nero in the T-shirt. Especially Pauly, who dropped the tease and was taking a defensive stance beside Nero.
