“I did. The picture of the three-legged dog was just adorable. He looks so handsome in a suit. What’s his name again?”
“Herman. He’s very sweet. I’ve become quite fond of him,” I say, as I stroke one of his long ears. “He’s a nice companion when Maddox is away.”
“Is that often?” I can sense the worry in my mom’s voice, so I keep my answer simple.
“Not too much. I’ve made some friends, and we’re going out to eat tomorrow night.”
“They’re not drug dealers, are they?”
“What?” I stare down at the phone for a second before bringing it back up to my ear. “Why would you ask that?”
“You never know. The nicest people could be peddling and you’d have no idea.”
“They are not peddling drugs, Mom. They’re actually in relationships with two of Maddox’s teammates—Cory Potter and Jason Orson.”
“Oh, well that’s nice. Did Maddox introduce you?”
“Yeah, sort of. He told the boys to have the girls introduce themselves. They surprised me one night at the apartment. It felt like we’d known each other for a long time. I like them a lot. We’re also going to go to Maddox’s game in two nights, which should be a lot of fun.”
“Uh-huh.” And those two words clue me in on my mom’s displeasure. She doesn’t have to say much, but the tone . . . she’s about to lay in on me with questions. “It seems like you’re spending a lot of time in Maddox’s world.”
Yup, just what I thought.
Growing up, she wasn’t a huge fan of Maddox. Not because of who he was as a person, but because of his parents. Word spreads fast in a small town, and it was no secret that the Paige family had a lot of issues. Everyone knew Marco Paige, Maddox’s dad, drank heavily. They knew his wife left him with two boys to raise, and they knew he was caught more times at the bar than being a dad. My mom was worried I was going to get hurt and encouraged me to hang out with anyone other than Maddox. But I stood my ground. He was my best friend, and I wasn’t going anywhere.
Even though I’ve seen his anger directed at me twice since I’ve been here, and both times I’ve been shocked . . . and surprised. He’s never shown that volatile anger with me. Only toward his dad.
Regardless, I’m still not going anywhere, even with that tone in her voice.
“My entire life has been spent in Maddox’s world, Mom.”
“Which is why I’m not entirely happy you’re in Chicago. You were doing great when he was far away. He’s a Paige, Kinsley. They’re violent people. Have you seen him on the field? He’s a menace and takes after his dad. I can see it in his eyes. I really think you should come home, or at least sperate yourself from the man, I don’t want you—”
“We’re dating,” I say, not wanting to hear her speak ill about Maddox anymore. She doesn’t know him like I know him.
“Excuse me?” my mom asks, her voice full of shock.
“We’re dating, Mom. And not only are we dating, but we’re in love.” I pause and take a deep breath. “I love him so much. In fact, I’ve loved him for a long time.”
There’s silence on the other end of the phone. I didn’t expect anything less. I probably just brought my mom’s worst fears to reality and letting that sink in is going to take some time.
“I moved to Chicago for me, to start a new chapter in my life, one that offered me independence and challenge. I wasn’t expecting to fall in love, especially with Maddox. He’s my best friend, I would never want to do anything to jeopardize that. But I—”
“Does he love you, or is he just using you for sex?” The bitter tone she uses reminds me exactly why I needed to move out of the house. I love my mom and I know she loves me, but she also always wants to control my life. Part of me wonders if it’s because her relationship with my dad seems practically dead, as if they’ve accepted they can’t do better, but don’t want to do better for each other either, so she focused all her efforts on me.
Taking a calming breath, knowing this is a lot for my mom, I say, “He loves me, dearly. He takes care of me, and we haven’t had sex, Mom. I told him I wanted to hold off and build on the relationship without the physical aspect. He’s respected that and has showered me with love.”
More silence.
I can practically see her pursed lips, the look of concern flashing across her features.
“He has a troubled past,” she finally says, pointing out the obvious.
“A past that I lived through. A past that grew him as a man. You can’t possibly judge him for the actions of his parents.”
“I’m not judging him. I’m worried. I’ve seen his anger and violence on the field, so you cannot tell me some of Marco Paige doesn’t live on in his son. He wasn’t taught what love was, so how could he possibly love you the way you deserve?”
Growing more irritated, I say, “He knows what love is because I showed him unconditional love our entire childhood. Our relationship runs deep, deeper than you even know, and I would ask you to refrain from insulting him. He’s the man I love, Mom. The man I see myself spending the rest of my life with. He gets me, and he doesn’t try to change me and my annoying earth-friendly ways. He accepts me for who I am, every part of me, and I accept him.”
She’s silent again, the pulsing static grating on my nerves. “He’s going to hurt you. I love you, sweetie, but he’s going to hurt you and when he does, I won’t be here telling you I told you so. I’ll be here with open arms, ready to fix that beautiful heart of yours.”
I sigh and close my eyes, wishing desperately my mom would not only understand me, but pick up a hobby, something to get her off my back.
“Okay, Mom. I’ve got to go. I’ll call you later in the week.”
“I love you, Kinsley.”
I roll my eyes, hating her cheery voice as she says those words so casually, as if she didn’t just pee all over my happiness. “Love you too, Mom.”
I hang up and toss my phone to the side only to grab the remote and turn on the TV to the Rebels game. Herman perks up for a second and then sighs and rests his head on my leg.
I stroke his ear and say, “He won’t hurt me. He won’t hurt us. He loves us too much.”
The camera pans to a shot of Maddox and Lincoln in the bullpen, laughing at something. His smile sends a shiver straight up my spine. It’s beautiful, organic, a smile that can bring any woman to her knees. I love seeing that smile, because it’s the same smile I grew up with, the same smile that greeted me in the halls of our school, the same smile that mischievously peeked through my window when he was looking for a training buddy, and the same smile I received whenever I tried to save another animal in town.
I fell in love with that smile and thankfully, that smile has fallen in love with me.
* * *
“Are you awake?” Maddox’s voice quietly whispers through the still night air.
I’ve been tucked away in bed since nine, turning the TV off when the Rebels had a good lead. Not getting much sleep when I had cramps, I wanted to catch up a little.
Blinking a few times, I roll over in bed to find Maddox’s figure draped in the moonlight, still wearing his clothes from the stadium, but freshly showered even though he didn’t play.
“I’m awake,” I mumble.
“Baby,” he says softly, coming over to the bed where he takes a seat, and rests his hand on my hip. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“I wanted you to. I always want you to wake me when you get home.” I rub my eye and smile up at him sleepily.
He rubs his hand over my hip and up my back. “You look so fucking cuddleable right now. Give me a few seconds to strip down and brush my teeth. Keep the sheets warm, okay?”
“I can do that.”
He leans down and I catch a whiff of his soap, the smell fresh and enticing. He places a soft kiss on my forehead and whispers, “Be right back.”
Even though my eyes are sleepy, I keep them open so I can watch him strip down to his boxer briefs. Corded muscle
s wrap around his shoulder blades and travel down his back to his ass where they ripple as he shifts from side to side. His tattoos are wrapped around his entire torso, depicting him as a life-like canvas of images he’s drawn in the past. I know what some of them mean, but not all of them, something I’d like to find out one day.
The swagger in his step when he walks to the bathroom, makes my stomach bottom out just knowing he’s mine, all mine. He picks up his bamboo toothbrush, pops a toothpaste tablet in his mouth, and starts brushing. He stares into the mirror for a few seconds before turning toward the bedroom and leaning on the doorframe, his eyes trained on me.
He smiles and says through a foamy mouth, “You just staring at me over there.”
“Yup.”
He chuckles. “Like what you see?”
“I wouldn’t be in your bed if I didn’t.”
“Our bed, babe. Our bed.”
He spits in the sink, rinses, and then turns off the light only to walk over to the bed and slip under the covers. “Get over here, beautiful,” he says, tugging on my body and pulling me in close.
I sigh as my head rests on his chest and his arm wraps me in a tight embrace. My hand falls to his warm skin and I clutch him. I’m truly happy.
There was a time in my life where I lived by my mom’s opinion. I thought she knew the right answer to everything but as I grew up, I started to realize maybe she didn’t always have my best interest at heart, but hers instead. She doesn’t want me being in a relationship with Maddox, not because of the man he is, but because of the distance it puts between us.
“You’re quiet, clingy . . . should I be worried?”
Is it weird that he knows me so well that he can pinpoint from my silence that something might be wrong? Or is it so right?
“No,” I sigh and kiss his chest. “Just talked to my mom today. I, uh . . . I told her we were dating.”
His hand that is wrapped around me slowly draws circles over my lower back. “From the sound of your voice, I’m guessing that didn’t go well.”
“Not really,” I answer honestly. “She has her concerns.”
Even though he’s holding me tightly and cuddling closely, I feel how he tenses. I sense his fear.
He clears his throat. “Yeah? What kind of concerns?”
I don’t want to tell him because I don’t want to hurt him, but if I don’t, then that would mean I encourage holding back information between the two of us. That would totally negate my argument from the other night. If I want this to work with us, then I need to be candid—open and honest about everything.
“Concerns that you’re going to . . . break my heart.”
“What?” he asks, shifting so we’re both resting our heads on his pillow. His hand stays on my hip, while his concerned eyes search mine. “You don’t believe that, do you?”
I shake my head quickly. “No. I don’t. I told her you love me—”
“I do,” he says, almost desperately. “I love you so damn much, Kinsley.” He brings the hand from my hip to cup my face. “Fuck, I love you. I would never hurt you, never intentionally at least. I might fuck up here and there, but I would never break your heart.” His voice drops softer, pleading. “I need you, Kin. I can’t even fathom what it would be like if I lost you, if I lost us. It’s not an image I want to conjure in my mind. It hurts too much to even consider.” His eyes flutter shut and then open, connecting with mine. “Please tell me you feel the same way.”
“I do.” I scoot in closer, wishing I could take away the worry in his brow, the fear in his eyes.
“Do you?” he asks. His question isn’t a challenge but near a plea for the truth. How could he even doubt the love I have for him?
“Maddox—”
“Hold on.” He takes a deep breath and then says, “I’ve known you since we were five, Kinny. I’ve observed your relationship with your mom. I’ve envied it. You two are close and yes, she drives you crazy and she’s overprotective most of the time, but she loves you, truly loves you. She’s been your guiding light for so long.” He rubs his hand up my side and under my shirt as he gathers his words. “I know you’re your own woman, but I would hate for her to influence you in any way when it comes to us. I can’t possibly be an ideal choice for her when it comes to someone who dates her daughter, and I—”
I press my fingers to his lips to quiet him. “You have nothing to worry about, Maddox.” I smooth my hand over his cheek and he leans into my touch. “You act like you’re the one who needs me in this relationship, but what you need to realize is I need you just as much. My mom gave me her opinion, I heard her out, and then I brushed it off. There is nothing anyone can say that would tear me away from you.” I lean forward and press my forehead to his. “I know you, Maddox, to your very core. I’ve seen the ups and downs, I’ve lived them, and through them, I’ve been by your side, and you’ve been by mine. The bond we have is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced, and the lust that we share, it feels like it’s growing by the minute. We are meant to be together, and I’ll be damned if I let anyone try to convince me otherwise.”
He swallows hard and glides his hand all the way up to the back of my neck, holding me in place. His lips reach out and graze mine. It’s a whisper of a kiss, more of an appreciation than anything. A quiet thank-you.
“Promise?”
I nod against his head. “Promise.”
He closes the last bit of space between us, tilts my jaw up with his thumb, and his lips descend to mine where he kisses me passionately, desperation in every press of his lips. His hand grips the back of my neck and jaw tightly, his legs intertwine with mine, and his body moves slightly on top of mine, but not all the way, just enough to give me a sense of protection.
Maddox might look like a rebel on the outside, and he might act like one on the baseball field, but in real life, when he’s with me, he’s nothing but loving, protective . . . a broken man looking for someone to love him.
I’m that girl.
I will love him.
I will love him so freaking hard.
And the best part? I know he’ll do the same.
Chapter Nineteen
KINSLEY
“Can you even hear anything through these floppy ears?” Maddox’s voice travels down the hallway as I hear him talk to Herman. He’s keeping his voice low, but I’m also keeping quiet as I finish getting dressed for the day. “Such an old man. You should be wearing a bow tie every day. How come your girl isn’t dressing you up?” He chuckles. “Wait, no, that’s my girl. But I guess I’ll be nice and share since you look so pathetic with these jowls hanging off your face. She can be our girl.”
I smile to myself and I’m about to walk out into the living room when I hear him say, “Think she’ll stick around? Stick with me? I know she said she would, but I don’t know, man. I have this feeling, in the pit of my stomach, that she’s too good, that all of this is too good to be true. I’m just waiting for the ball to drop and when it does, fuck.” He lets out a long sigh. “She’ll take you, she’ll take her love, she’ll take every comfort I’ve ever had in my entire life. And I don’t think that’s something I will survive.”
I press my hand to my chest, my pulse racing, my lungs feeling like they’re working three times harder to bring air in.
How could he possibly think that? Why doesn’t he see his worth?
Why doesn’t he see how much I truly, and desperately love him?
I walk out into the living room, just in time to see Maddox squatting down in front of Herman and giving him a good pet. The sight of this tattooed, rebel of a man, acting like a total gush bear with a dog, tightens my heart even more.
“Getting in some guy time?” I ask, arms folded, leaning against the hallway entrance.
He gives Herman one more scratch and stands. He’s wearing a pair of shorts that hang incredibly low on his narrow hips, showing off the waistband of his boxer briefs. No shirt, hair a total mess, and a sleepy look in his eyes.
So
hot.
After scratching his chest, he walks up to me and places his hands on my hips. “Good morning.” He leans forward and presses a kiss to the side of my neck. “How are you feeling?”
I lean into his hold, looping my arms around his neck where I hold him tight. His lips travel up my neck to my jaw and back down again. I tilt my head to the side, giving him better access, loving the feel of his mouth against my freshly showered skin.
“Feeling much better. My period usually only lasts two days. It’s a rough two days, but thankfully it’s over.”
“Yeah?” he asks, bringing his lips to my jaw and then slides them over my mouth where his minty breath ignites something deep inside me.
“Yeah.” I sigh into his hold and smooth my hands down his bare chest where I can feel the beat of his heart. “I wish our schedules matched up better. I feel like I barely get to spend time with you.”
“Trust me, I know. I think about it all the time. I haven’t been able to take you out on a date and it’s killing me.” I lift away so I can look him in the eyes.
“You don’t have to take me out. Keeping me in works just fine.” I wink and he groans, sliding his hands up my back and curling himself into the crook of my neck.
“Are you sure you want to go out with the guys after the game?”
Maddox has a day game today and the girls and I are meeting up. Marcy was very sweet to give me the time off, knowing I’ll make it up this weekend when I go in to check on the animals, like I always do. Tonight, we’re all going out together. Not sure where yet, that’s up to the boys, but I’m excited about it because it’s been a while since I’ve been out in a group.
And even though Maddox sounds tortured about spending time with other people, I know the buildup I have planned for tonight is going to blow his mind.
“Positive.” I chastely kiss his lips and he groans again.
“Fine.” He runs his hands back down to my hips and takes a step away, putting a foot of distance between us. “Want some coffee?”
The Change Up Page 24
