by Stacia Leigh
Or something close to it.
Will didn’t care what the exact words were, but he did care how Leo was the one who wanted to “move past this” and “get on with our lives” as if he were as affected as everyone else. Last time Will checked, Leo wasn’t a Sullivan. He wasn’t blood, no matter what those bikers said about being brothers.
“How’re you gonna get it done?” Will stood. “Do you even know where they are?”
“I’ve got a couple rats—”
“And what’d they say?”
Leo gave a dismissive wave. “It’s club business.”
“I’m sick of hearing those two words, dude.” Will could hear the quaver in his own voice, but he didn’t let it stop him. “I want to know what the P-Skulls want, Leo. Money?”
The Lion dropped his boot down and straightened. “They wanna die, son.”
Live…die… The words pounded between Will’s temples like drum beats in a heavy metal riff, like something from a Five Finger Death Punch album…the art of a lie.
Hadn’t he been through enough already? How could he lose his dad and his brother, too? Why’d life have to be so damned precious? How could he keep anyone safe in a world where one moment she was smiling up at the sky and the next, she had dirt in her eyes and up her nose? If they’d buried Mom, she’d have nothing left to look forward to, except for earthworms and roots.
He couldn’t imagine it, and neither could Dad or Liam or even Aunt K. They’d all agreed to have Mom cremated, baked in an oven, just the way she’d’ve liked it, reducing her to a gritty pile of dust.
“I’m going home,” Will said, trying to keep his voice normal. How could he have a proper breakdown in a tent where everyone could hear him? What would the bikers say? Would they yell about how real men don’t cry? How death is part of the cycle of life? So get it together, man. The good die young.
Did they even care two of their own were missing? While Leo was busy sappy-lapping with his new gal, the rest of the guys were sleeping off a long night. Will clenched his teeth until his molars ached. Who was looking for his family? Why didn’t they tell him earlier? Why all the secrets?
“Listen to me,” Leo’s big paw clutched Will’s shoulder. “It may seem like we’re not doing much, but appearances can be—”
“Deceiving, I know.” Will twisted out of Leo’s grip. This conversation was going absolutely nowhere. It was clear the good ol’ Hides of Hell president didn’t have a plan. All he was doing was blowing smoke.
Will trudged to his tent and stepped in. He couldn’t slam the flap shut, but he could rip the zipper down. Unfortunately, it wasn’t nearly as satisfying. Slamming his bedroom door used to grate on his mom’s last nerve…
Will, this is your mother speaking, speaking, speaking. Forget the door! If your father is dead, you’ll be adrift in this world. If your brother is gone, too, you’ll be alone. Alone, Will. Worse than now. Think! What can you do?
Stay out of my head…stay ahead of the pain. He unscrewed the cap on his pain meds, tipped out three, then downed ‘em with a big gulp of water. He face-planted onto the sleeping bag while erasing all thoughts of Dad and Liam and the sick feeling churning in his gut. He couldn’t…wouldn’t think about his mom, either. If he had to dream about death, it would be of the time when his cat dismantled a possum in the house. What a sick mess.
Good ol’ Helmet.
* * *
Miki slammed out of the bathroom stall and jerked to a stop in front of the sinks. Valentina stood with a designer-denim hip cocked out and her arms folded under a tremendous chest. She dominated the space with not only her giantess height but with her confidence, too. Miki eased her shoulders back, hoping to gain an inch, but she still felt like her little seventeen-year-old self, inconsequential and immature.
Miki scowled and stepped to the sink to wash her hands. There was no soap in the dispenser, and the water was ice cold. What next?
“Okay, you followed me in here, so you must have something real important to say. Something brilliant, I’m sure.” Miki huffed. Great. Her black survival bracelet was sopping wet, and the paper towels were jammed. She flapped her wet hands over the trash barrel, flinging water droplets against the concrete wall.
“I know your type, a jealous daddy’s girl who needs to be the center of attention. Believe it or not, babe, I’m not here to take him away from you, got it?” She dropped her arms and softened her voice. “Listen, Miki, I’m here to tell you to move over and get used to sharing the spotlight. I like Leo, and he likes me, and that’s the way it is. Why fight it? Accept it, and it’ll make your life easier…trust me.”
First of all, Miki wasn’t jealous or a daddy’s girl, and she didn’t need a lot of attention, but a little would be nice. Maybe, instead of pacifying her with expensive gifts, Dad could say something important and meaningful for once, like I want you in my world, Miki-Lou. It could be that simple…that easy.
But Val’s talk of It is what it is—just accept it sounded very similar to Will’s half-cocked idea about effort or the lack of it. Miki didn’t want to accept the status quo. She fought for what she wanted and tried to change things. Look where it got her, though. Nowhere she wanted to be. Was she her dad’s pride and joy? No. He barely had time for her. Did she have Will’s undivided attention? Did he like her? Only in the dark it seemed.
So maybe Will and Val were right.
Effort, why bother?
“You do know you’re one in a long line of women, don’t you? Let’s see…” Miki glanced up at the dead bugs in the light fixtures and ticked off her fingers. “There was Ellen, uh…Mary Ann…then Dixie, Jo Jo, and Heather…someone named ‘Wild Wilma’ and of course, the big one, Flossy’s ex.” Her dad was a pig.
Poor Valentina. She was nowhere near the beginning of the line and probably nowhere near the end of it. In fact, just a couple days ago, Dad had been stroking the arm of a nurse with an arm full of bed pans while Will was laid out, flat as a pancake. For the past year after the divorce, it seemed all Dad had to do was sit back and crook his finger. The easy girls flocked to him, and it didn’t matter who they were or what they looked like, his type of woman was the type who said yes.
Didn’t any of them have a sense of self-worth or dignity?
“And once…” Miki lowered her gaze. “…much to my mom’s regret, he came over for ‘old time’s sake,’ so—”
“That’s ancient news, hon.” Valentina shook her head with mock sadness. “For me? I get what I want, and for six-straight-weeks I’ve been getting Leo. See what I mean? We’re working toward something long-lasting,” Valentina said.
She was pretty sure of herself, standing there with her golden tan, ash-blonde hair, and her trendy outfit. Miki really did want to root for her, wanted Val to get her man, to win. Because deep down, she wanted to be the same, be the type of girl who homed in on her target and bullseye! But instead, Miki spent a majority of her time pining and losing. The law of least effort was starting to have some appeal.
“You know what? My dad’s never going to change, and when I look at you…” Miki let her eyes travel down the length of Val’s jeans to her sexy leather sandals and back up again. “…do you know what I see?”
“Oh, I can’t wait to hear this,” Val smirked.
“I see someone who can do a lot better than him.”
* * *
You don’t try hard enough.
There it was again, the tickle in his ear canal like someone was right here with him. Why was waking up so difficult? His entire body felt thick and heavy like a glob of swamp mud. Stagnant. He could stay here like this forever.
“I know you’re awake,” Miki whispered.
Will’s eyelids peeled back immediately. The tent glowed with the high sun, and the heat inside turned stifling. He shifted to look at Miki with her big eyes and her blue hair pulled back in a stubby ponytail. The tops of her ears were showing.
“What are you doing in my tent?” he croaked, sounding like a bull
frog. “God. What time is it?” He eased up slowly, hoping to avoid a head rush and searched for his water bottle.
“Here.” Miki handed it to him. “You’ve been sleeping for hours. It’s after noon.”
Noon, huh? So if he had his math right, and one pill equaled ninety minutes of sleep, he would need to take three more to get to happy hour. Then another ten to get him through to the next morning. Within a day or two, he’d either be an addict or brain dead. He may be a lazy gob, but getting fried wasn’t part of his life plan. Besides, he couldn’t imagine putting Dad or Liam through that kind of ringer. They were alive; they had to be. The Pulver Skulls wouldn’t—
They wanna die, son.
“I gotta get out of here, Miki.” He cranked up the intensity as he studied her brown eyes. “I’ll do whatever you want if you’ll take me home.”
“The stuff of dreams. Too bad I don’t like you anymore.” She said it like a joke before lowering her voice. “They’re not going to let us go home because the Pulver Skulls are out there roaming. Remember the ugly P-Skull patch nailed to the wall in the clubhouse? It’s in the room we’re not supposed to know about.”
“What room?” She didn’t like him anymore? Why?
“You know…the one in the basement.” He shook his head because he had no idea what she was talking about. She rolled her eyes and sighed heavily. “Never mind.”
“What does this have to do with you and me?”
“I think it belonged to one of the P-Skull guys who killed your mom. They were drunk or stoned when they hit her, and the one guy…”
“Wait.” Will held up his hand, letting the fog clear. What was he hearing? “It was a Pulver Skull driving?”
“Will…” Miki lowered her chin. “Are you serious?”
His breaths became shallow like a beer keg sat on his chest. Last year, when he’d gotten the news about his mom, all he’d retained was a drunk driver, her texting, and a car wreck. He didn’t need or want to know anything more. With a pillow over his head, he’d managed to survive the first month on sips of air and water. Now, almost a year later, reality was slapping him in the face. “I…” He swallowed, or tried to. “I guess I…”
“I know you probably don’t want to talk about it, but if you ask me, it was an accident. The P-Skulls didn’t seek her out. Think about it. They were on a joy ride. But you know how this thing goes. The Hides of Hell took care of business, payback style, by cutting the patch off a dead guy. So guess who wants payback for the payback?”
“The Pulver Skulls,” Will said and shook his head. “All the more reason to get home. We shouldn’t be in the middle of this. You go to your mom’s, and I’ll lock myself in my house. No problem. No one will even know I’m there.”
“Don’t you want to find Bill and Liam?” Miki gaped at him like his pores were oozing green sludge or something. She shook her head with disgust and rocked back on her flip flops. “Let me guess. This is the part where you endorse the law of least effort, right? What a selfish jackass. You’re exactly the type of guy I can’t stand.” She crawled toward the tent flaps. “I’m outta here.”
“Wait.” He tried to grab her ankle with his fingertips, but his cast got in the way. “Hang on a minute!” She turned, giving him the squinty eyes, so he pleaded. “Miki, I’m lost here. I don’t know what to do. What if I never see my dad again or…oh, God. Or my brother?” His eyes welled up, and from previous experience he knew he was about to rupture. Will lowered his jaw and stared at the green cast in his lap. How could he make her understand? “One minute I feel tore up and raw like there’s no hope, and the next, I feel nothing…like I’m dead inside.” A rogue tear rolled down his cheek, and with a quick hand, he smudged it into his skin. He couldn’t lose anymore people, pets…family. He wasn’t strong enough to deal—
A lump the size of Alaska climbed up his throat. He couldn’t swallow…couldn’t breathe. Something had to give.
“Will.” He looked up, and Miki’s face crumpled with distress. She lunged toward him, sat in his lap with her legs on either side, and pulled him into a full-body koala hug. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” she whispered.
He took it all in—her warmth, her touch, her emotion—and squeezed her back tightly, not even caring how he didn’t have a shirt on or how a couple more tears escaped. He’d been drowning earlier, but this connection was saving him like the floating dock in the middle of Lake Judy. He pressed his nose against her warm neck and held on. Don’t let go, Miki.
After a long moment, she spoke softly into his ear, “I have a plan.” His skin prickled with electricity.
Her plans always left him uninspired.
Or maybe inspired but underwhelmed.
More like overwhelmed in a closet with five of his peers looking on. Yeah. So, Miki had a plan? Hey, call him dubious, but for some reason he was turned on.
“Later,” she whispered in a soothing voice with her hands on his upper back. “When the guys ride to Burnout, we’ll pretend to follow along, slow and easy. Then, when Caboose passes us, we can turn around and head home, like last time. Just the two of us.”
Her body was pressed into his, and he felt safe for the moment, all wrapped up with Miki in her t-shirt and jeans. He didn’t want to feel the chill of her moving away. Not when they were together like this, bonding. His skin warmed like a pilot light somewhere inside had flicked on. She was the only one who could make him forget why he was here. His good hand slipped around to her lower back. Instead of all the tension and drama, maybe this thing between them could start being easy, right here, right now. His palm slid farther down to cover her back pockets.
“Uh…” She leaned back with a frown. “What are you doing?”
“Miki, I wanna be with you.” Will lifted his cast, and his free fingers combed a blue strand away from her temple. He traced the shell of her ear where she wore black pearls and silver studs, nothing fancy but cool. He leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to her throat.
“Will, would you get serious? We’re in a tent. This isn’t the time or the place.” She pushed away from him, and goosebumps sprang up on his naked chest.
“Why are you even here?” He scowled and reached for his t-shirt, bending his leg to hide himself. Who could figure her out? One minute she was breathing heavy in his ear, then boom! Chill factor five. It was the same old story: she sought him out, broke through his defenses, and riled him up. Then, when he was about to say yes, she’d already left him behind.
Except in the hotel room. He’d definitely said no that time. Otherwise, what would have happened? Thank God, she hadn’t been carrying condoms.
“I’m here because…” Her voice trailed off like she had no more words. See? Even she didn’t know why she was in his tent, tormenting him.
“Hey, you’re the one who said you were the easiest person I could get. I only thought—” She gaped at him, her eyes filling with water. Was she going to cry? He closed his eyes and let his head fall forward. Dude, just shut up. You stupid—
But those were her words, weren’t they?
“God, pathetic,” she whispered, and he looked up. Her face turned pink. “Forget I ever said that.” She turned away and pulled up the zipper.
“Where’re you going, huh, Miki? What am I missing this time? You’re the one who came in here, jumped in my lap, and started whispering in my ear. If you don’t like me the way I am, then why don’t you leave me alone?”
“You’re right…I will leave you alone,” she said in a weird defeatist tone very unlike Miki. She slipped out of the tent, and the ground tarp rustled as she walked away.
What the hell? Will crawled to the open flap to call her back, but instead, he watched as she ran across the campsite, past a group of milling bikers, straight to Owen.
Figures. Nothing but trouble.
What was she up to this time?
Will leaned back inside the flaps and pulled the zipper down slowly. What was he up to? He went from slamming beers to popping pi
lls to forgetting why he even existed. Earlier he felt hollow and worthless, but now—could he find his dad and brother like Miki said? Was it within his power to save them? How? He didn’t even know where to start.
What did the Pulver Skulls want with his family? According to Miki, it was one of their guys driving the truck. One of their guys killed his mom. Now, those bastards had Dad and Liam. Was murder part of the escalating retaliation?
Who knew? What he did know was he couldn’t sit in this festering tent, sweating like a pimp in church while Dad and Liam were being beaten down by a bunch of thugs. His mom would want him to do all he could for them, wouldn’t she?
Yes, Will.
Right. It was time to get off his ass and do something.
CHAPTER 10: Crumbs
“How many times do I have to tell you? He’s an inferior shit. You don’t need to chase after crumbs, Mik.” Owen’s face was dirty from the wind, dust, and last night’s bonfire smoke, which made his dark eyes glint. He looked past her and snapped a twig. “Looks like lover boy’s finally back. I’m hitting the showers.”
Miki glanced toward the trail leading to the bathrooms where Will walked along with a thin towel slung around his neck. He’d been gone nearly an hour and probably went through a roll of quarters paying for hot water. Even though she was still ticked off, she hoped he didn’t get his cast wet. Why didn’t he get a waterproof one? Maybe making the decision required an effort. Oh, no…couldn’t do that!
His dark hair hung damply past his shoulders, and his brown eyes searched the campsite until they met hers. He held her gaze, then nodded his chin toward the tent as if he wanted her to meet him there.
“And…if I see you in his tent again, I’ll break his other arm.” Owen snapped the poor twig into another piece and threw it into the cold fire pit before marching off.
