“You think I don’t fucking know you? You think I don’t know the woman who sings in the shower and dances in the galley? I don’t know the woman who folds her underwear, but leaves socks all over the cabin floor? I don’t know the woman who sleeps on her back, tucked against me, using my bicep as a pillow? The woman who mutters my name in little gaspy whimpers all night long? I don’t know her?”
“No,” she said, frustrated by the tears that heated her eyes. Sassi wanted him to know her. She wanted this to be as simple as he was implying it was. “You don’t… I told you not to ask questions and you’re pushing me—”
“ ‘Cause the wellbeing of my crew is—”
“Stop!” she said and elbowed him hard, pushing and shoving at his arm until he finally let her go. Spinning around, a furious tear skidded down her cheek. “I don’t want to only be your shipmate!” He tried to touch her face, but she shoved his arm down, angry that he was making her vulnerable. “But, I can’t ever be anything else!”
“Why?”
“Because I belong to another man!”
The words hit him hard.
The frown on his face became an intense scowl that made his eyes darken like black holes so fast they seemed to suck the air from the room. “This is about what happened in Miami.”
She’d said too much, more than she should have. “No,” she said and tried to push past him, but she had no chance of getting out when he blocked her way. “Please, Swain, just let me get out of here.”
“What’s his name?” She didn’t answer. “Do you love him?” Again, she said nothing, just kept her head bowed. Seizing her upper arms, he shook her hard. “Tell me!”
“No! Look, I told you that I was yours for the duration of this trip, nothing has changed. I’ll share your bed. I’ll give you my body—”
“A body that belongs to him,” he said and thrust her against the sink. “So, this was what? A way to pass the time because you were bored? You have a lover’s tiff so you run off to sea to punish the guy? Fuck… are you married?”
Panicked and scared and tired, Sassi just wanted to undo the last ten minutes. “No,” she said, her heart pounding in her chest. “No, I… I’m not even with him… I never have been. I said that wrong, Swain, I’m sorry… I don’t belong to him, I… I belong to you.”
Though some of the tension left his shoulders, his expression stayed as severe. “For how long, Waif?”
Thirty days had been the length of her original contract, but they were already two days behind schedule. On top of that, if they were going to extend the survey time then they might stay here longer than had been the original plan.
In so many ways, it didn’t matter anymore if they were late. What difference would a couple of days make when she knew she could never make up the extra fourteen grand anyway?
But, instead of being sad, admitting the truth to herself gave her a new optimism. These were her last days of freedom. Eros was going to be the last home she ever knew. It would be the last place where she’d be able to make her own choices.
She could spend her final days of liberty embracing the chance she had to experience fun, being happy and free, or she could be depressed and forlorn. Sassi knew which she’d prefer. There would be plenty of time to be miserable when she was married to Dario.
It took a few moments of silence, staring up into Swain’s eyes, to make him relax enough that she could slide her hands up his chest.
Boosting to her tiptoes, she threaded her fingers together at the back of his neck. “Did you know that swain means lover?”
He grumbled, “It’s my fucking name, yeah, I know what it means.”
“I guess that’s why you’re so good in bed,” she said, touching her top lip with the tip of her tongue.
“The babygirl thing doesn’t work,” he mumbled, but his hands called him a liar when they cupped her ass to squeeze her close.
“I know,” she said because it was best to agree with him and let him think he was right. “I don’t want to argue with you, lover. We agreed, no questions. For the next two weeks, I’m yours… all yours… do you want me to be yours?”
Picking her up to sit her on the narrow sink, he pinned her to the wall when he moved forward to bear down on her. “Don’t ever tell me you belong to another guy, not ever,” he said. She shook her head. His palm moved over her cheek until his fingertips got tangled in her hair. “And, don’t think about him when you’re with me. That’s an order, Waif, I don’t want him in your head.”
“You’re the only man I want, Swain,” she said. “I promise you that.”
He breathed out, giving up the fight though it was obvious she infuriated him. “I’m fucking dancing on the head of a pin for you, Waif.”
“I’m sorry, Captain. Want to take me upstairs and show me how pirates keep their wenches in line?”
“I want you to be happy,” he said and when she twisted her lips to a wry smile, he drove a hand into her piled hair. “This is gonna be another one of those fantasies you always talk about, isn’t it?”
Nodding, she bit her lip. “Show me how good you are with your knots.”
“Oh that one,” he said, picking her up from the sink. “That’s one I’ve been looking forward to.”
Carrying her out of the cabin, he didn’t put her down or even hide that she was in his arms. There was no one around in the passageway, but any of the others could walk out of the mess at any second and catch the captain carrying the cook to his bedroom.
Usually Swain was reserved about their relationship in front of the crew. He didn’t object when she touched him and he was different in the way he spoke to her compared to the other members of the crew, but that could be because of her gender rather than their relationship. Though she did get the impression there were times he was picturing her naked when he was dishing out orders.
“Some of your knots are pretty secure,” she said. His mouth slanted giving his dark eyes a sinister gleam. “You know some that are impossible to get out of, don’t you? I think we should set some terms for—”
“Too late,” he said, bounding up the stairs to their cabin. “It’s time for me to play out a fantasy of my own.”
He’d accommodated so many of hers that Sassi couldn’t refuse. If he wanted her tied down and helpless, she’d submit. If he wanted her gagged and blindfolded at his mercy, she’d consent. Swain was the last lover she’d ever choose for herself. Memories of their intimacy were all that was going to get her through the nights she’d be trapped in Dario’s bed.
SEVENTEEN
Yawning, Sassi turned onto her back and smiled at the circle of sunlight that was projecting onto her chest from the porthole behind the desk that stood parallel to the length of the captain’s bed, about eight feet away.
“Captain,” she whimpered. Her eyes closed again, but she pouted in the direction of the desk where she knew he was seated at the computer, facing into the room. “I feel neglected.”
“We had sex twenty minutes ago,” he said, his voice betraying that he was distracted.
The memory made her smile and she let the sheet fall from her breasts when she stretched out flat. “Yeah, but I haven’t fallen asleep with you for the last three days.”
The guys had been diving the wreck several times a day for the last eleven days making this her twenty-fourth day at sea. She should be freaking out that they were over-schedule, but she couldn’t bring herself to feel any urgency about returning to land when life was so perfect out here.
“I have to do this analysis and write my reports,” he muttered. “You know what a goldmine this is. We want to get everything right.”
They’d stayed the extra time to do a preliminary feasibility study for raising the wreck. It wasn’t a huge vessel, and the crew was optimistic about getting it off the ridge it was lodged on, though the sandbanks were a variable Swain didn’t like. He’d voiced his desire for caution to the crew, but not as vehemently as he had with her when they talked in the wee ho
urs, wrapped in each other in his bed.
Swain talked like she was going to get her bonus, like she was going to join them on the next leg of the job, but his expressions and body language told her he knew it wasn’t a reality. Addressing their relationship was pointless when there was no future. This whole trip was a fantasy, but for the time being they were both pretending it was part of their larger reality.
“Won’t you have time to write them up when we’re back home? What kind of sailor ignores having a naked woman in his bed?” Probably the kind who was getting used to the picture. “I should make you work harder for it.” But, she knew she wouldn’t and got no response. Cracking open one eye, she saw him smirking at the pictures he was scrutinizing. He might not be talking, but he heard her alright. “Do you need help? I can string sentences together if you need someone to do the boring stuff.”
She couldn’t really be bothered moving, but knew that he’d prefer to be diving or at least on the quarterdeck monitoring what was going on. He didn’t like to be cooped up inside with only their trio of portholes on the wall behind him giving them their link to the outside.
“No, I need to keep my head in this,” he said, and glanced up at her. “And you’re naked… that’s helping.”
“Shame you put your dick away. Our relationship is completely lopsided,” she said, hiding her smile when she thought about his surprise intimate inspection that had brought them to bed earlier.
Strange coincidence how she was the only crewmember expected to strip naked for their esteemed captain and the only one with breasts.
“You make a better picture,” he said, though she’d disagree. His body was ripped and she was treated to it more frequently now the crew was regularly stripping off to go into the water.
Moving onto her side, she tucked his pillow beneath her cheek. He shuffled some papers and typed something. “Dinner is cooking, it will be ready on time. Can I go to sleep, Captain?”
“Looks like you’re already halfway there.”
“I’ll jump-to if you need me to,” she said on a yawn. “You want a cookie?”
He smirked again; she just caught sight of it on another sleepy blink. “Go to sleep, Waif. I’ll wake you if I need you.”
Rolling to her back, she stretched again and let herself sink into the mattress. “You’re a good, kind, generous captain,” she said on a sigh, tucking the sheet around her.
“You would say that; you’re the only one who gets oral from me.”
And he’d treated her twice already that day. Sassi had only been teasing when she said she felt neglected. She’d never had a man so attuned to her sexual needs. They might not be able to discuss the emotional stuff and they might never have a future, but the present was pretty damn good.
Swain had never been on a trip like this one.
Being with Sassi was unlike any other experience because she wasn’t like the other women he’d been with, or any other woman he’d met.
She’d been asleep in his bed for almost an hour. It didn’t matter how many times he stole glances at her, or how many times he just outright stared at her slumbering figure, he still couldn’t quite convince himself that she was really there.
The cabin door clanged. Scanning Sassi, he made sure she was covered with the sheet. At one end, she had a leg curled around the cover and at the other it teetered just on the apex of her breasts, but nothing intimate was in view.
“Yeah,” he called out from his place behind the desk, keeping one eye on his woman to make sure she didn’t wake up.
The door opened and Hector came in with Foist and Jockey. The diver strode across the room with his arm extended to present a stack of pages, but he slowed to a stop when he spotted the woman in the bed. Hector registered her there, as did Foist and Jockey, but when Swain snapped his fingers, the men’s attention came around to him.
“We got the last of today’s reports,” Hector said, finishing his journey to the desk to hand the sheets over though he kept glancing toward the bed.
Swain didn’t like any guy looking, but he noticed Foist openly admiring the woman in his sheets, making his anger hotter. “You two got some kind of problem? You’re worse than fucking horny teenagers. Eyes front, you bastards.”
Foist wasn’t shy about sauntering to Hector’s side, smirking all the way. “This from the guy who got laid a half hour ago… You’re looking at a pack of rats who’ve gone without for almost a month. Your lady looked mighty fine the first day we saw her… Out here she’s like the last woman on earth and you’ve got access to her. Any damn time you want pussy, it’s laid out right there for you, ready to take your cock on command.”
Swain didn’t have a problem with explicit language, and understood what his engineer was saying. Turned out he’d been right on the first day, having a woman around could cause problems in the crew. He’d just never expected that his crew would have animosity toward him. Though, he’d never expected to be the one to have trouble keeping his hands off their only wench.
Still as Foist and Hector drooled, Swain sensed not only an interest, but a respect too. She had an amazing figure, but he didn’t doubt that his crew had come to care for her, meaning he trusted all of them to keep their hands off.
Foist wasn’t much of a joker, and he only fought when he was provoked. Swain doubted there was malice in what his engineer was saying. It was just a friendly explanation and maybe an implied request that they be allowed to enjoy their brief chance to be this close to a naked female form, any naked female form, even one they couldn’t have.
Jockey laughed and came between the two men to slap a hand on their shoulders. “All the boys wanna swing for you, cap’n… they’re jealous dogs.”
As mad as he was that any guy might think of Sassi in a carnal way, he couldn’t blame them. He thought of her that way plenty and like Foist said, Swain could take advantage of her any time he liked.
Smugness made him lock his fingers at the back of his head and lean back in his chair. “Swing all you like, snipe,” he said to the engineer. “You could knock me out cold and toss me in the drink, Sass still wouldn’t touch you dogs with a barge pole. She’s got class… and taste.”
The men inhaled and ooh’d at the insult, but Jockey kept laughing. Swain didn’t mind teasing like this. It hadn’t been easy to get used to sharing Sassi with the crew, but it got easier as it became more obvious to his men that their relationship wasn’t just a casual distraction for either of them.
Sassi was his and they knew it. Didn’t matter how much they flirted with her or how many cookies she baked them, Swain was the first man she looked for in every room, and she was disappointed when he had to leave her.
Her strength inspired him. There wasn’t a task she wouldn’t think about tackling if he put it to her. He often found her helping Fidget with his duties. Swing had been doing a lot of grunt work on deck while he and the others were diving because that freed up Jockey to take anchor watch. No doubt that his lady pulled her weight, just like any other member of the crew. Not only didn’t she want special dispensation, she’d be offended if he suggested it.
“Don’t see any evidence of that around here,” Foist jeered.
Sassi muttered and turned a fraction making the sheet shift further up her thigh. Swain was transfixed and didn’t realize his men were too until Hector sighed. “She is beautiful, cap’n.”
“Don’t got to tell me that, Hect,” he said. “Now you rats clear out afore she wakes up and gives me new orders.”
Sassi had never implied in any way that she had control or influence over him, not to him or to the crew. But, shit, he’d drain the ocean and raise Atlantis for her if she asked him to.
It had taken him time to get used to being with a woman in front of his crew, and he appreciated Sassi being patient while he adjusted. While they weren’t overt in their intimacy most of the time, he’d gotten used to touching her or being touched in a way he’d never connect with another crewmate. Sassi was becoming his n
ew normal; he wasn’t sure he’d be able to go back to the old one.
Foist and Hector did as they were told and left the room, but his first-mate stayed put, waiting until the others were out the door before turning his attention to the bed.
“I don’t know how you did it, boy, but you did good,” Jockey said.
Often when he was working, Jockey would spend time in the mess, eating cake and talking with Sassi. More than once the old man had passed on cards to hang out on deck with her. It meant something to him that they got along. Jockey was his family, and his approval still held weight.
One thing Swain hadn’t done was tell Jockey about Sassi’s trouble or her terms for their intimacy. It was possible she’d told the first-mate herself, but Swain had never wanted to ask.
“She’s something,” he murmured.
Jockey twisted to face him. “I’ll jump ship when we dock.”
That snapped Swain’s attention away from the beauty in his bed. “What?” he asked, scowling at the crazy suggestion. “No. What the fuck you talking about?”
“You and Sassi will want the place to yourselves. You don’t want my scurvy—”
“She’s not moving in,” Swain said, figuring out what Jockey was aiming at. “When we get back to port it’ll be just you, me, and Eros again.”
“Well, now,” Jockey said and he didn’t look happy. “I didn’t figure you for the sort.”
“What sort?” he asked, leaping onto the defensive ‘cause it wasn’t right that the old man should judge without knowing the facts. “She ain’t said nothing about berthing here on a permanent basis.”
In fact, she’d made sure he knew the opposite was true.
“What kinda gent are you? You know she told Gumdrop that she had no place else to go,” Jockey said. “She said it right in front of Swing. He heard it with his own ears. Said she’d be sleeping on the beach if you hadn’t taken her in… now you’re gonna toss her overboard?”
Sweet Seas Page 16
