Dario tried to reach for her, but Swain’s arm moved again, this time urging her deeper behind him. “You don’t wanna touch her,” Swain said.
“Oh, I do,” Dario said, laughing with his men. “And, I will before the ink is dry on our marriage certificate. I will forgive my Sassi her final fling. But, from now on, she belongs to me. She is yours no more.”
“Check your facts,” Swain said and nodded at Stuart who flung the bag from his shoulder to the floor ten feet away.
Dario’s confidence wavered, not to fear, but to annoyance and he snapped his fingers at one of his men who rushed forward to open the bag. When everyone saw the money inside, all eyes went to Dario whose anger tinged his eyes, but only for a second before he laughed. His men joined in and it was only when Dario paused to suck his cigar that the laughter died down.
“This measly amount will not protect my wife. Her debts, her papi’s debts, stretch beyond this.”
“No,” Swain said. “Every cent has been paid.” Dario’s expression froze. “Like I said, check your facts. Your money is there Correa. You want to count it, count it. We’ll wait.”
Dario snapped at his man again and the difference in his stature was obvious. Tense as he paced to the wall, Dario was on edge. Sassi noticed a ring box there on the sill. Had he expected her to put a ring on her finger now? Of course he had, he’d thought he was going to take her tonight.
When the man was done counting, he looked pained to nod at his boss. Dario spun around and stalked to her, but Swain blocked her, putting her behind the wall of his body so she could see nothing else.
“You do this?” Dario demanded. “You go behind a man’s back and you steal his woman, you—”
“Actually, you kissed mine,” Swain said. “Which is sort of the only reason I need to do this.”
Her captain’s arm came back and she screamed when the impact of his punch echoed through the space. So much for no violence, he’d just smacked Dario so hard that there were teeth on the floor and a spray of blood beyond them.
Dario wailed and his posse rushed forward. Appearing behind Swain, who was fighting off the men who were running at him, Stuart grabbed her and hauled her toward the door.
“Swain!” she screamed, trying to rush forward, but her brother was pulling her out of the warehouse.
From nowhere, the Eros crew went running past to hurry inside. Although Sassi tried to fight him, Stuart wrestled her into the car and locked the door, trapping her inside. He leaped in the front and sped away. Sassi clambered between the seats and battered his shoulder.
“What are you doing? Get back there! We can’t abandon him!” she screamed in her brother’s ear.
“That was the plan! That was what he wanted!” Stuart said, frantic and panting. He tried to watch the road and catch glimpses at her too. “You don’t think I wanted to take a few swings at that bastard too? But, fuck, Sass, it was the only thing Swain asked. He paid more than a hundred grand of dad’s debt and all he wanted was to be left alone with the guy.”
Panicking and out of breath from the adrenaline, Sassi spun to try and see what she could out the back, but it was too late, they’d gone too far. There was nothing but darkness filling the window.
Sagging into her seat, she wrapped her arms around herself to try to quell the quaking that wracked her. “If anything happens to him—”
“To him?” Stuart asked and with his adrenaline subsiding, he was beginning to smile. “That crew of yours are one helluva force, ‘specially when they band together.”
The crew might be there to look out for each other and she didn’t doubt their loyalty to each other. But, until she knew that everyone got out of there unharmed, she wouldn’t rest, and she wouldn’t stop shaking.
Sassi hadn’t expected to be taken back to Karen’s apartment or to find Karen there with all of their possessions from Eros. Apparently, as soon as Sassi had left Eros with Swain and Stuart, Jockey and Fidget had moved them all out.
Stuart and Karen were in the living room and had been for the near hour they’d been back in this apartment. Her brother was useless, telling her he didn’t know the next part of the plan or why they’d come back here: he was just following orders.
Funny, her brother was following orders.
Sassi understood Karen and Stuart being brought there, but her? Why had she been kicked off the ship? All she could figure was that Swain was worried about cops or about the fight going back to the ship. She’d been tempted to go to Eros and wait there, but Stuart had told her that Swain wanted her here.
Trusting her captain, she waited.
The minute she heard his fist on the outside of the door, she ran to it and pulled it open, grabbing for Swain before he could even take a breath let alone talk.
“How could you do that?” she wailed, trying to examine him for injuries. There was redness on his jaw and his hair was mussed, but other than that, he looked completely normal. “Were you hurt? What happened?”
“Never mind that,” Swain said, stroking her hair.
“We’ll give you guys a minute,” Karen said, creeping around Sassi and her captain with Stuart in tow.
The couple went out and Sassi pulled Swain deeper into the apartment.
“I can’t believe you hit him,” she said, trying to guide Swain onto the couch, but he didn’t sit. “You’re not staying?” She didn’t let him answer. “No, you’re right. We should get back to the ship… Is everyone else okay? I hope Jockey dressed you down for this. Let me just get ready…”
He caught her arm and she ricocheted back to him. “You’re not coming back to Eros.”
“I’m not?” she asked, confused about what he meant. “Then where are we going?”
“I’m going back to Eros. You’re staying here… Me and the guys are leaving for the salvage next week… We’ll be gone for four months.”
“Four… four months?”
He nodded, letting his fingers sink into her hair above her ear. “You’re safe, Psyche. You’re free, just like I promised. You’re free of him. You’re free of your father, your brother, all ties… You’re free of me.”
Free of him.
Her hand fell from his arm and she stepped back. Numb and confused and overwhelmed, Sassi was adrift. “You’re breaking up with me?”
“You wanted it to be over, didn’t you?” he said, showing such serenity that if she could feel anything, she’d probably be insulted. “And, let’s face it, we haven’t really been together since we got back from sea.”
Because they hadn’t had sex or talked about them. He’d prioritized the safety of his crew… a safety she’d jeopardized. “You offered me a job,” she said, clinging on to any kind of hope she could. “Right here in this apartment, you came here and offered me a job.”
“And, you said we couldn’t be at sea together and keep our relationship professional… You were right. I might want to think I’m a strong enough man to keep you at arm’s length, but these last few days have been torture for me, Waif. I can’t have you under my command for four months and trust myself not to abuse my position.”
“Abuse it! Please, abuse it,” she said, trying to touch him, but he moved away. “I don’t mind submitting to my captain… I love submitting to him.”
But, he was shaking his head. “I’m not your captain anymore, Sassi. I told you, you’re free.”
She didn’t want to be free. She didn’t want him to give up on them. “Is this about what I said yesterday? I’m sorry, okay? I wasn’t thinking. I was embarrassed and overwhelmed and I… I promise, I won’t think of the money when I look at you, okay? I’ll… I’ll work for free, I’ll make it up to you eventually.”
Maybe it was the money that had changed things for him. Before he’d spent a fortune fixing her family, he’d wanted her. Since he’d found out the truth, his interest in her had cooled. How could he respect her after bailing her out of her father’s mess?
“I don’t give a damn about the money, I told you t
hat. I haven’t touched you for days because I didn’t want to be distracted and I didn’t want your gratitude. I didn’t want you to feel obligated to me like you did to him. I didn’t do this because I wanted to buy you. I won’t force you into bed or into marriage. There is no outstanding debt between us. No ultimatum. If you and me are meant to be… it’ll happen.”
Her pulse was racing again, out of pure terror. Her captain was leaving her. Breaking up with her. Breaking her heart. “How will it happen if you’re running off to sea and leaving me behind?”
“You need time to get over this. Get over losing your father, his betrayal, the debt, Dario… me… I’m not going away forever; it’s four months. We’ll be restocking in Argentina, but… it’s not like I’ll get a lot of action in the middle of the ocean.”
Was that his way of telling her that he’d be faithful? Sassi couldn’t understand how he could tell her it was over and then reassure her he wasn’t going to screw around. She couldn’t figure out if this meant they were together or not. Except, if they were, she didn’t get why she couldn’t go back to Eros with him.
If this was pause, it was too much. Sassi didn’t want to be without him, not if she had a choice. But, it didn’t seem like he was giving her one. “So, I’m supposed to wait for you?” she asked, wondering how good she’d be as the patient wife waiting for her sailor to return.
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “You’re supposed to live your life, to do whatever makes you happy. Get an apartment, build your business, whatever you want to do. And, in four months, I’ll dock right where Eros is now…”
They’d have a clean slate.
He was effectively telling her to call him… in four months.
If she pieced her life together and still wanted him to be a part of it, then she could go to him when he was back, ask him out, maybe they’d take it slow… or maybe he’d have changed his mind about her. Sassi had gone from being the captain’s wife to being his girl in this port.
Feeling lost and at sea, she couldn’t picture any life without her captain and Eros. Every possibility had been erased; there was no fantasy that didn’t involve them. “I’ve been taking your orders for weeks,” she said. “I’ve been cooking for the crew… I’ve had a purpose.”
“I know,” he said, cupping her cheek. “I’m taking that away because I don’t want to be a habit you can’t break. I don’t want to be an obligation.”
“What do you want?” she asked. Sensing his retreat before it happened, she grabbed for his belt. “Please, Swain… if this is just your way of letting me down gently, I deserve to know… Do you even want to be with me? Do you feel anything for me? It’s not fair to ask me to wait for four months if there’s a chance you’re going to tell me you were giving me a subtle hint I didn’t pick up on… We’ve never talked about feelings. We’ve never confronted what we might want from each other.”
“If I’m still on your mind in four months, we will.”
“Swain,” she whined. “Don’t do the guy thing. Don’t withdraw and give me half answers. You love me or you don’t; there’s nothing else to talk about. If you love me, we’ll figure everything else out. The details aren’t important. All that’s important is whether or not you love me…” Clarity numbed her again and her fingers drifted away from his belt. “But, I guess if after all this you’re still not sure… that’s all the answer I need.”
He stroked her face so gently that she thought he might be about to break her soul. Love, for her, love was easy. It was a given. Sassi had known she loved her captain since Swing had told her about the captain going down with the ship. She’d known she loved him when they had sex on the Dreamboat. Hell, she’d probably known she loved him when he pinned her hands to the wheelhouse wall and told her she had his attention.
While the prospect of Dario’s vengeance had loomed over her, Sassi had ignored those feelings. Now that barrier was gone, she couldn’t imagine her life without Eros and Captain Carson Swain.
His rough hand felt nice on her skin, but it wasn’t an answer.
Or maybe it was.
Drawing his hand from her cheek, Sassi tried her best not to let her lip wobble. Emotion was close to taking over. Her eyes were warming, and she had to find a way of asking her captain to leave before she lost her grip on it.
Just as she was thinking of rushing him out, he broke the silence. “If I don’t put space between us now, Waif, I’ll be putting a ring on your finger and getting you pregnant before the week is out.” Stunned, her tears dried. “Falling in love with you was the stupidest thing I ever did. I had my life laid out. I had my priorities. Everything made sense. Now the only thing in the world that means anything to me is your happiness. That’s why I need to know… I need to know you’re in as deep as I am. I need your head clear. I need you to decide what you want without pressure because you better have your damn priorities straight before you think about hitching your line to mine. We’ve got all the time in the world, Waif… We’re doing this right.”
“I thought you weren’t my captain anymore,” she murmured. “That means you can’t give me orders.”
“No,” he said. “That’s why I’m walking out that door right now and leaving you single.” Bending down, he kissed her, but left her wanting more. “It’s up to you, Psyche… whatever you want… the world is yours.”
Sassi was still trying to think of what to say when he turned and walked away.
Her captain was gone. He’d given her freedom, told her he loved her, and then abandoned her. Sassi wanted to go after him. She didn’t want to be without him, but he was right. So much had gone on that they both could use some space. Just as he didn’t want her to feel obligated to him, she didn’t want his sense of responsibility to coerce him into misinterpreting his feelings.
But four months apart? Sassi didn’t know how she’d survive it.
THIRTY-ONE
Sassi hadn’t figured out what she wanted or how she’d go about getting it. Five days had passed since Swain had walked out of Karen’s apartment and she hadn’t heard a whisper from him since.
Apartment hunting wasn’t easy.
Staying away from Eros was harder.
Three adults living in one studio was a ridiculous setup, especially when it was clear two of them wanted to be alone.
Swain hadn’t just paid her father’s debts, he’d left Sassi with the money she’d earned during her month on Eros and hadn’t used a cent of it to pay off Dario. So, she had plenty of dough to get herself set up somewhere. The trouble was finding somewhere. Nothing she’d seen measured up to what she wanted.
Sort of by mistake, while looking for apartments to rent, she’d found a section of the website dedicated to houseboats. Surfing through it on Karen’s computer, Sassi was wondering if it was a crazy idea when there was a knock on the apartment door.
Karen was back at work and Stuart was God knew where. So, she figured maybe her brother had lost his key or one of his silly friends had come over to find out why word on the street was that the Robins’ weren’t to be messed with.
Sassi was laughing about her brother’s newfound street-cred when she opened the apartment door and came up short.
“Jockey,” she said, taking a second to get over her surprise before she stepped back to gesture him inside. “Come in, are you okay?”
“Aye, lass,” he said and turned to look down the corridor.
She didn’t know what he was looking at or why he wasn’t coming inside, so she stuck her head out and gasped when she saw all of the Eros crew, minus their captain and Raise.
“Oh my God,” she said, her hand leaping to her heart. “What happened? Where is he? Is he hurt?”
“The cap’n don’t know we’re here, lass,” Jockey said. “We need to talk to you.”
That didn’t help her confusion. “All of you?” she asked, gesturing them in.
There wasn’t a lot of space in the studio, but the crew managed to shuffle around in the living room u
ntil everyone was inside. Sassi went to retrieve the cookie tins from the kitchen and began to pass them around.
When she got to Jockey, she stopped, dead, and her mouth fell open. The first-mate wasn’t waiting for a cookie, he was holding a velvet bag, a little one, just a couple of inches square, and peeking from the top, between the first-mate’s forefinger and thumb was a white gold ring. A ring twisted in design to look exactly like her true lover’s knot.
“He had it special made,” Jockey said. “The jeweler delivered it to Eros today.”
Swing appeared over the first-mate’s shoulder. “He doesn’t know we have it,” he said, his mouth full of cookie.
Her shoulders shifted and she cleared her throat. “It’s beautiful,” Sassi said, forcing herself to look away from it.
Foist grabbed the cookie tin from her and thrust it at Fidget, probably to empty her hands. “Cap’n says you’re not coming on the voyage… We ran about all over town doing what shipmates do for each other and he says you’re not coming?”
The crew showing up had set her off-kilter, but she couldn’t get her mind off that ring, and feared saying something she shouldn’t. “I’m not,” she said, heading toward the kitchen to put some space between her and the men… and the ring. “Are you staying for coffee?”
“Shortcake,” Foist said, passing the couch to join her, cutting her no slack. “What the fuck did—”
“He told me not to,” she said, appealing to them to be accepting, though it wasn’t easy when she still hadn’t gotten over losing her captain. “Please. It’s what he wants.”
“Is it what you want?” Foist asked.
Looking at each of their faces she read hope and sorrow, disappointment and optimism. Sassi couldn’t lie to her crew. “No, it’s not…” That was one obvious conclusion she’d reached not long after Swain had left her. But, there was nothing she could do. He’d told her she wasn’t welcome aboard, so she had to swallow her defeat. “It’s not even close to what I want. But, I can’t force my way onto his ship.”
Sweet Seas Page 29
