by J. Lynn
Calla gestured at the group. “Brit and Ollie couldn’t make it. He’s got a big exam on Monday and Brit’s staying with him in Morgantown, but I think you guys know everyone here except—”
“Me.” A guy with beautiful mocha-colored skin and bright green eyes stood from one of the chairs. He was tall and lanky, and vaguely reminded me of Bruno Mars. He was wearing a gray loose-knit beanie I kind of wanted to steal. “I’m Jacob. I go to college at Shepherd. I’m a Gemini. I’m allergic to Game of Thrones, because I can’t keep track of everyone who dies on the show. If you talk shit about Doctor Who, we cannot be friends, and I still want a goddamn pony and no one will let me buy one.”
Teresa, who was sitting in one of the plastic chairs, ran her hand through her mane of dark hair. She looked stunning, as usual, a modern-day Snow White. “You’re the only grown person who wants a pony.”
“I kind of want a llama,” I said.
Reece looked down at me, lips pursed thoughtfully, as if he was rethinking the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing.
“Why would you want a llama?” Calla sounded genuinely curious.
I shrugged. “Who wouldn’t want a llama?”
“Um . . .” Avery wrinkled her nose. “Don’t they spit?”
Jacob shushed her and then grinned at me. “I think we’re going to be great friends. We could take our pony and llama on playdates. Oh! Ollie could totally fashion leashes for them. I want one with Swarovski crystals.”
Another man I hadn’t met before groaned from where he stood. “That is not going to happen.”
Jacob then shushed him. “Mr. Dream Crusher, also known as Marcus, is my boyfriend. He doesn’t understand the need for an obscenely large four-legged friend.”
I grinned at what had to be the greatest introduction of all time.
Marcus was equally handsome, even more so, and nicely tanned. “Out of college,” he said, standing and offering a hand to Reece and then me. “I don’t know any of these people.”
“That’s probably a good thing,” Jacob said. “Half of them are insane.”
“Hey!” shouted Teresa from her seat. “We’re not insane. We are eccentric.”
“Speaking of insane”—Katie returned to our huddle, holding a bottle of Corona—“have you thought anymore about trying out that pole?”
Jacob choked on the beer he was drinking and turned sideways quickly, waving a hand in front of his face. Before he could say anything, Jase’s head swiveled around so fast I thought it might spin right off. “What?” he demanded.
Teresa grinned as she bit down on her lip. “Nothing, honey.”
“No. Seriously. That’s not a ‘nothing.’ I don’t ever want to hear my sister’s name and the word pole in the same sentence that involves dancing.” Cam glanced at Katie, wielding a slotted spatula, causing Jacob to sidestep a spittle of grease. “No offense.”
She shrugged a shoulder. “None taken. Only the few and the proud can handle it.”
I scrunched my nose. “Isn’t that the Marines’ motto?”
“Yes,” sighed Reece.
Jase eyed his girlfriend and then shook his head. Giggling, Teresa rose from her seat and went to his side. Stretching up, she clasped his cheeks and whispered something in his ear. Whatever it was turned the frown upside down. She returned to the seat, cheeks flushed.
Before I could do anything, Reece dipped his head and kissed my cheek and then wandered off to where all the boys were converged around the grill.
“Sit.” Teresa patted the chair next to her. “Sit down, girl who’s dating a hot cop.”
My heart did a happy little twirl at that as I sat next to her. Calla and Avery joined in while Katie remained standing, nursing her beer. “Cops are hot,” she said, eyes squinting. “Well, any guy in a uniform is hot. Wait. Not any uniform, but you get what I’m saying.”
I had to agree with her.
“Have you heard anything more about the stalker?” Avery asked in a quiet voice.
Calla leaned forward, expression serious. “Your place was broken into, right?”
I nodded. “Yeah, last weekend, but nothing else has happened since then. I know Reece’s friend is coming out on Monday or Tuesday after he gets off to go ahead and wire the place, so hopefully that helps.”
“That’s so frightening,” Avery said, shaking her head. “Yeah, I know that makes me Captain Obvious, but God, that’s just crazy. I’m glad you’re staying with Reece.”
Teresa shuddered. “So am I. If I were you, even with a security system, I wouldn’t want to be alone until they found the freak.”
“Have you thought about just staying with him until they find out who’s doing this?” Calla asked, glancing to where the guys were laughing over something Jacob had said. “I doubt he’d be against that.”
Crossing my legs, I couldn’t even try to hide the grin that pulled at my lips. “I don’t think he would either, but I don’t want to impose on him any more than I am.”
Teresa cocked a dark brow. “I so doubt you are doing any imposing.”
“True, but . . .” I shook my head, unsure of how to put it in words I didn’t want overheard. I didn’t have to worry long, because Katie did it for me.
Voice low, she said, “Roxy is stupid. No offense,” she said to me, and I glared at her. “She thinks she’s not in love. Or she doesn’t want to be in love, and probably has no idea that he’s already willingly taken that leap, so she’s trying to protect her whittle heart.”
Avery tucked a strand of strawberry-colored hair back behind her ear. “I’m pretty sure most of us have been there.”
“Yep,” commented Calla as she raised her glass of tea. “Been there, done that, and got the T-shirt.”
I arched my brows at them.
“Am I the only one who went after a guy?” Teresa asked, her expression puzzled. “Because I totally knew I wanted to make sweet, sweet loving to Jase from like before day one.”
“That’s because you have lady balls,” announced Katie. “The rest of them just have ovaries.”
“Do I want to even know what you all are talking about?” Jacob asked, appearing behind Avery. He gripped the back of her chair and leaned over her.
Calla laughed. “Probably not. So how much longer till we eat?”
He glanced over at the grill. “Another five minutes, I guess? What the fuck do I know though.”
Teresa stretched her legs out in front of her, sighing as she smiled. “I’m glad we all were able to get away and hang out.”
“Yeah, this is probably going to be the last time for a while,” Avery said, smacking at Jacob as he picked up a strand of her hair and tossed it in her face.
“Why?” I asked.
“After this semester, I’m moving back here,” Calla said, a sad smile on her face as she looked at me. “You will be stuck with me, but I’m going to miss seeing Avery and Teresa.”
“With Cam’s schedule, he’s got a lot of traveling coming up. I try to go with him when I can, but it’s not always possible,” Avery said. “But we got a wedding to plan, so don’t forget that.” She grinned at Teresa. “I’m totally leaving that all up to you and Brit, by the way.”
“Fine with me. You’ll be wearing red instead of white.”
Avery rolled her eyes. “Yeah, because that will go great with my hair. Thanks.”
Jacob patted her head sympathetically.
“Weekends are going to be hard for Jase and me to get away. With his new job at the agriculture center, he’s working all week and our weekends are pretty packed right now since Jack will be staying with us during the weekends for now,” Teresa continued.
“Isn’t Jack his brother?” I asked, hoping something wasn’t going on with his parents that meant they couldn’t care for him.
“Uh . . .” Jacob straightened. “
I don’t think Roxy knows, Tess.”
“Crap. You’re right.” Teresa scooted forward on the plastic chair. “Well, it’s kind of a complicated, long story, but the short version is that Jack’s not his brother. He’s Jase’s son.”
My mouth dropped open, and I couldn’t help it. I glanced over at Jase, who was holding a plate Cam was heaping burgers onto. I knew that Jack wasn’t a small child and Jase wasn’t much older than me, so . . .
“He was dating a girl in high school and she got pregnant,” Teresa explained when I turned back around. “Instead of putting Jack up for adoption, Jase’s parents legally adopted him and they raised Jack as Jase’s brother. Jase finally told Jack the truth a couple of weekends ago.”
“Wow,” I said. “How’d that go?”
Teresa smiled sadly. “Jack understands, but in a way, he doesn’t. He’s old enough to get what Jase is telling him, but he’s looked at him as an older brother since he was born. It’s going to take a while to get used to the fact that he’s his father. The great thing though is that Jase’s parents have been really supportive, and since Jase just closed on a house, it’s a good place for Jack once he’s ready.” She shrugged. “And hey, it’s like a practice run for me.”
Avery shot her a look. “Oh dear God, don’t let Cam hear you say that.”
“He needs to get over the fact I have sex. Lots of sex,” she replied dryly. “Look at Jase. Who wouldn’t?”
“That boy would never leave my bed,” Katie said.
“Mine either,” murmured Jacob. “Hell, I’d take all these boys.”
Part of me couldn’t believe that Jase had a son, but the guy had awesome genes so I guessed it was great that they were being passed down.
“What about the mom?” Katie asked.
Teresa cringed. “She passed away years ago in a car accident.”
“Oh. Wow. That sucks.” Katie took a long gulp of her beer. “I think it’s time for food.” She wandered over to the grill.
Reece was the man.
He pulled over a chair next to mine, asked what I wanted and returned with a plate full of food and a fresh beer. I could get used to that kind of service. And as corny as it felt, I could also get used to coupledom.
Katie left shortly after she finished eating, stating she had a hot date to get ready for, and I wished her luck. There were a lot of laughs and insults flying once the food was done and the chairs were moved around a fire pit that kept the cold chill of the September air at bay. When I came back from using the bathroom and helping put the cold stuff away in the fridge, Reece snagged me around the waist and pulled me into his lap.
I let out a soft squeal. “We’re going to break the chair!”
He straightened my glasses and then looped his arms around me. “We’ll be fine.” Light from the fire flickered across his face. “Want to know a secret?”
“Sure,” I whispered back.
One side of his lips kicked up and he rested his forehead against mine. “I’m glad we’re here. I’m enjoying this.”
My heart expanded in my chest and I admitted, “Me, too.”
“Good.” He reached up with one hand, smoothing my hair back from my face. “Because I can see us doing this again. And again. What do you think?”
I closed my eyes, secretly thrilled to hear what he was saying.
“I think it’s kind of weird seeing you two be nice to each other,” Jax said as he walked past us, joining Calla on a thick blanket.
Reece lifted his head from mine. “I think it’s kind of weird that you’re paying that close attention to us.”
I laughed as I rested my cheek on his shoulder. There was no denying I was happy where I was at the moment, and yeah, I could really see us doing this. I could see us together, seriously together. And maybe I could even get over myself—over the fear of getting hurt again.
For him—for this—wasn’t it worth it?
My breath caught as I placed my hand above his heart and he immediately folded his over mine. I opened my eyes and stared at our joined hands.
Katie was so right.
And it was so stupid, because I wasn’t even sure why I was fighting this anymore. What I felt for Reece when I was fifteen was nothing like what I felt for him now. Back then, I thought I knew what it was like being in love with someone. Maybe I did, but now I truly knew how it felt. Because this was like flying and drowning all at once, like wrapping yourself in your favorite sweater and running naked through a sprinkler. It was a thousand conflicting emotions all rolled into a ball.
I loved Reece.
A knot formed in the back of my throat as I lifted my head. I really did love him. I was in love with him. There was no more playing around with how I felt, no more lying.
Reece looked at me, his brows knitting. “You okay?”
I opened my mouth to tell him yes. No! To tell him the truth, and I didn’t care that people surrounded us, because I was going to scream it—scream it right in Reece’s face.
But my butt vibrated.
“Oh.” Drawing back, I pulled my cell out of my jean pocket. My stomach dropped the moment I saw the caller ID. “It’s Charlie’s parents,” I mumbled.
Reece stiffened.
Going cold, I sat up straight as I answered the phone. “Hello?”
“Roxanne?” Charlie’s mother never called me Roxy. Never in my whole life had she ever used my nickname. And never in my whole life had I heard her sound as hoarse and shaken as she did now.
Hands shaking as knots formed in my belly, I slipped out of Reece’s embrace and stood. I stepped over Jax’s legs, giving myself space as I walked away from the fire. “Yes. This is Roxy. What’s going on?”
I don’t even know why I asked the question. I knew what she was going to say. Deep down I already knew, and everything inside me started to unravel like a loose thread that had been tugged.
“I’m sorry,” she said into the phone.
“No,” I whispered, turning around. I saw Reece standing a few feet behind me. Concern poured into his expression and so did realization. He stepped toward me, and I stumbled back.
Charlie’s mother let out a broken sound—a sound I didn’t even know she was capable of making until that moment. “It’s over. He . . . Charlie passed away this evening.”
Chapter 23
I never knew pain could hurt so bad that it made you numb. That the pain could cut so deep it took every bit of emotion out of you, just sucked it right out. That was what I was feeling. Empty. Bottomless.
I didn’t cry that night.
Not when Reece took me back to his place. Not when he helped me undress or when he got me in bed. Not even when he wrapped his arms around me and held me until I fell asleep.
The weekend and the days coming after that phone call were a blur. Jax gave me the week off from the bar, and I hadn’t even pretended to fight his decision. My head wasn’t in the right place to be working with the public. My head wasn’t anywhere it needed to be.
I didn’t cry when I went to the facility on Tuesday to get all the paintings and the little personal mementos I’d loaded Charlie’s room up with. Three large boxes went out, placed side by side in the back of Reece’s truck. I didn’t cry, not even when I saw his empty bed. Not even when I learned that he’d gone in his sleep from an aneurysm. Not when I discovered that he’d died alone.
There would be no autopsy and the funeral was scheduled for Thursday. I couldn’t believe it was going to happen so soon, as if his parents were waiting for this to happen, as if the grave had been dug all those years ago and was just waiting to be filled.
I didn’t cry when Reece took me to my apartment or when I stacked the paintings I’d done for Charlie in the corner of my studio. Nor did I really notice that my place had been wired for security, all the windows and doors. Actually, I did notice but I j
ust didn’t care.
It was Thursday morning, as I slipped on the only pair of black dress pants that I owned and were now a little too loose, that I noticed Reece hadn’t gone to work at all this week. Smoothing my hair back into a low ponytail, I squinted at my reflection. The purple streak had faded, becoming barely noticeable. What was glaringly visible were the dark shadows under my eyes.
Slipping my glasses on, I left Reece’s bathroom. He was in the kitchen, fixing his black tie. Freshly shaven and shoulders broad in his suit, he looked good. Real good. I guessed that even though I felt so incredibly hollow, all my lady bits were still functioning.
He looked up, his head tilting to the side as he studied me. We really hadn’t talked much since Saturday. It wasn’t for lack of him trying. Obviously, he’d been here this entire time without me even asking. The same with the funeral. Not once did I ask him to go, but he was ready before me, and I lo—I appreciated him for that.
I stopped at the edge of the kitchen counter. “You’ve been taking off time from work.”
Reece nodded slowly as he fixed the cuffs on his suit. “Yeah. I didn’t want you to be alone.”
The burn in my chest was renewed. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I have the time. Plus everyone is understanding.” He came around the counter, stopping in front of him. His eyes searched mine intently. “I go back to my shift next week.”
I swallowed—swallowed hard. “Thank you. You’ve been . . . you’ve been so good about everything.”
Reece cupped my cheeks with both hands. “Babe, that’s just what someone does in this situation.” His thumbs trailed along my cheekbones, a gesture I looked forward to. “I’m here for you.”
My gaze flicked away and then I squeezed my eyes shut as he hauled me against his chest, wrapping his arms around me. I was stiff for a moment. I wasn’t even sure why, but then I clung to him, my fingers clawing through the clothes to get a piece of him—to hold a piece of him.
“It’s not fair,” I murmured against his chest.
He pressed a kiss against the top of my head. “No, it’s not.”
