***
At first the drive home went by smoothly. I hardly took note of anything around me and drove mostly on autopilot as I sometimes do when I’m trying to think through something difficult. At the forefront of my mind was whether or not Stuart was going to drop the ghost issue or not. I figured it would probably come up again. After all, hadn’t he appeared in the vision I’d had? I guessed he had some further part to play in the rapidly unfolding drama. Nevertheless it didn’t sit right with me that he had become a part of the events.
Every time another person came into my path it was like a weight was added to my shoulders. I felt guilty because I thought it was my problem and I should be the one to deal with it. At the same time there was no way that I could handle the problem on my own and I became more and more grateful for people like Trent and Katie who threw their lots in with mine. This only increased the feeling of guilt. I had to put that cycle out of my mind or I would overwhelm myself with frustration.
I had to get out of the car, to walk out my aggravation. But it was more than that. For some reason I could not identify I felt compelled to stop. I found a coffee shop and pulled in. There was a patio and window people could walk up to and place an order or someone could walk into the place, order and sit down. I decided to use the outside window rather than contain myself inside. Getting boxed in somewhere was the last thing I wanted to do.
About five minutes later I sat alone outside and listened to the traffic whiz by while I sipped steaming mocha. The longer I sat and cleared my mind the better I felt. But the comfort felt more about the time spent in stillness than about ceasing to worry.
I finished the drink after about ten minutes but really just felt compelled to stay a while longer. I let myself relax until I felt it was okay for me to be back on the road and headed home. In all likelihood the strong feeling to wait a while is what saved my life.
I was probably at that coffee shop for solid three-quarters of an hour if not a little more. Finally I stood, disposed of the cup, got back in the car and continued my homeward journey. As soon as I pulled out of the coffee shop parking lot my mind returned to my many concerns.
There were so many things to ponder that I didn’t notice the pillar of smoke rising in the air ahead of me as I drew nearer and nearer to home. When I finally did notice my brow drew down at first. “What’s up with that?” I wondered out loud. Then there was a great sinking feeling in my gut.
“Uh oh,” I said. “That can’t be good.”
A Ghost of Fire Page 34
