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For my family. Every single day, it’s all for my family.
The Black Star Renegades may have won the battle, but the war is far from over.
Although Praxis’s War Hammer has been destroyed, the kingdom still maintains a tyrannical grip on the galaxy. In the wake of Praxis’s devastating defeat, fear and terror reign as Renegade forces struggle to match overwhelming odds.
But there is hope.
Kira Sen has a bold plan that will win more star systems to the Renegades’ side—enough to defeat Praxis once and for all.
And Cade Sura is still in possession of the Rokura, the most powerful weapon in the galaxy. He just needs to learn how to use it before the evil Ga Halle tracks him down and takes the weapon for herself.…
PROLOGUE
Cade cried.
He tried to stifle the tears he’d been holding in all day, but the fact that he couldn’t stop himself from crying like he was a silly little baby made him so frustrated that he cried even more. His house was quiet, and though everyone in it was asleep, the thought of someone catching him like this made him sick to his stomach. So, of course, that’s exactly what happened. The floorboards creaked and sighed behind him, the sound magnified by the house’s silence, and Cade knew he wasn’t alone anymore. Filled with shame and anger, he considered running out of the house; he considered hiding and hoping that whoever had been awakened by his sobbing figured it best to just leave him alone. But, as he sat in the dark on the stairs that led to the cold, damp cellar, he knew that all he could do was wipe away his tears with the back of his hand and act like everything was okay even though it wasn’t. And a lot of good even that did; his efforts to brush his tears away only smeared them across his face.
“Cade?” a voice called from the darkness. “Is that you?”
Cade turned and saw a silhouetted figure, large and imposing, standing in the doorway at the top of the stairs. His father, Benji.
“Is everything all right?” Benji asked when Cade didn’t respond. And then, when Cade still couldn’t bring himself to say anything, Benji continued. “I’m going to come down there. Okay?”
Benji walked down the stairs, the old boards moaning under the pressure of his heft. Cade’s father was a large man, and at a passing glance, he’d seem intimidating. But, other than his mother, Cade couldn’t imagine a kinder and gentler person. Sure, Benji looked like someone who could clobber anyone who ticked him off, but that required him to get ticked off. And that never happened. Benji preached tolerance and patience, peace and understanding. Which was all the more reason Cade didn’t want to discuss why he was so upset.
“So,” Benji said as he sat next to Cade, “this is unusual.”
Cade turned away, realizing it was a futile gesture only after he’d done it. His father clearly knew he’d been crying.
“Are you going to talk to me, or should we sit quietly? Whatever you want to do, Cade. I’m happy to just sit here with you if that’s what you need.”
Cade sniffled and used his sleeve to dry the tears that he’d pressed against his cheeks. He wasn’t crying anymore, so he could at least clean himself up a little.
“I’m okay, I just had a—” Cade paused as the words began to come out in a stutter. The tears threatened to come again. They were totally out of his control. “I had a bad dream is all.”
Benji nodded. “I know you’re twelve now and practically a grown man, but I’m still your dad, and I can still help you. You have to tell me how, though.”
Cade buried his face in his knees and covered his head with his arms. He just wanted to shrink away; he wanted to fold up into his own body, fall through a crack in the stairs, and be gone. It was the only way he could avoid this conversation, which he knew his father was going to coax him into having even though he didn’t want to. And realizing that only made him frustrated at himself, and embarrassed, all over again.
“Is this about what happened today?” Benji gently prodded. “I heard there was an … incident with you and your brother. Were some kids picking on you?”
Cade’s head shot up, and he threw his father a righteously indignant look.
“Picking on me? No. I’m way too cool for that.”
“Cade,” Benji gently reproached, “do we need to have the ego talk again?”
Cade sighed. “No,” he said. “But I wasn’t getting picked on. It was this other kid, Lakum. He’s … such a lost cause. He’s scrawny and nerdy, and he just practically begs the other kids to mess with him. And they do. All the time.”
A low, nasally rumbling came from Benji; it was the sound he made when he was contemplating something. “Does it bother you, these kids picking on this boy?” he asked.
Cade’s face turned red, flushed with anger, and he turned away. “I hate it.”
“So what happened—with Lakum?”
“His mom is always there to walk him home after school, but she didn’t show up today. Lakum was alone, and the kid didn’t even know what to do with himself. He should have just walked home and not waited around—everyone knows only the older kids hang out after school. And they’re the ones who give it to him the worst.
“I had to go back to my locker because I forgot one of my books. That’s the only reason I was even there. And when I came out…”
“The older kids were giving Lakum a hard time,” Benji said, trying to say what Cade could not.
“A hard time? Dad, they were beating the crap out of him. These kids took turns punching and kicking him, and Lakum just lay there, curled in a ball on the ground. He didn’t even fight back; it was like … like he was okay with what was happening. Like this was just the way things were supposed to be.”
“And how did that make you feel?”
“Mad!” Cade snapped, almost yelling. “I wanted him to fight back, to do something to stick up for himself. But … I was even madder at those stupid bullies. They think they can do whatever they want and push around whoever they want, but they’re really cowards. They only act that way because they’re bigger than everyone else and because they’re always together.”
Benji sighed. “That’s usually how bullies work. Most of them act that way because they’re insecure and afraid. If you stand up to them, they’re usually quick to retreat.”
Cade rolled his eyes. He couldn’t imagine a more quintessential thing for his father to say. “Yeah, well, not these ones.”
“What happened?”
“I wanted to go back inside to get help—find a teacher or something,” Cade said defensively. “I know that’s what you’re going to say I should have done. But, Dad, the way those kids were pounding on Lakum, I thought he might be dead by then.
“So … remember how I said I had to go back inside and get that book? Well, I made good use of it,” Cade said uneasily. He could see his father already startin
g to wince as he anticipated where this story was heading.
“Good use of it how?” Benji asked.
“I charged those bullies and cracked the nearest one over the head with it.”
“Cade,” Benji said, but it was less like he’d said it and more like he’d groaned it. He was the only person who could express Cade’s name in such a way, and he was made to do it often. “That was probably not the best way to intervene in that situation.”
“I know,” Cade said sheepishly. “But, you know, I sometimes have trouble thinking things through.”
Benji shook his head, and his scowl turned into a smile. He even laughed. “You’re right about that, my son. You certainly have your mother’s tendency to act on your impulses.”
Cade hung his head. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” his father said. He clasped the back of Cade’s neck and gently lifted his head. With his gaze directed upward, Cade saw the worry in his father’s eyes. Benji cupped Cade’s chin and studied his son’s face, searching for any kind of scratch or bruise that he might have missed before. “Are you okay?” he asked. “Did they hurt you?”
Cade tore his face out of his father’s grasp and looked away. Without wanting to—he’d thought he’d gotten all the mucus and tears and pathetic whimpering out of his system before his father joined him on the stairs—he started to cry again. And once it started, it only got worse. He tried to hold back his outburst, and the fact that he couldn’t made him feel weaker than he did in the first place.
“Cade?” Benji asked, angling his body so he could see Cade’s face. Cade withdrew further into himself and the darkness of the stairway. “Cade, what happened? What did those boys do to you?”
“Nothing,” Cade said. “They didn’t do anything to me.”
“Then, what?” Benji asked, confused. “If they didn’t hurt you, then what has you so ups—”
“They didn’t do anything to me because of Tristan. Okay? Tristan stopped them.”
Benji drew back. “I’m having a hard time following. Why’s that a problem?”
“Because, it … I…” Cade stumbled over his words until they mashed into a prolonged growl. “Just … never mind.” Cade sharply rose, knocking the back of his hand against his face as he did, furiously wiping away his tears.
Benji followed him.
“Cade, wait,” he said, calling out in a hushed tone as he followed his son through the living room. “Please, tell me what’s wrong. It’s just you and me here, no one else.”
Cade turned and faced his father, but he couldn’t bring himself to say what he wanted to say.
“I promise,” Benji continued. “I won’t say anything to your mother or Tristan. I just … I want to know.”
“It’s just…,” Cade began, but he had to pause. He suddenly knew he was being ridiculous and petty over what had gotten him so upset, what he’d let gnaw at him for far too long.
“I don’t want to be saved by Tristan,” Cade admitted. “I don’t want to be shown up by him in everything I do. I know he’s older than me and bigger and stronger, but it’s like … it’s like he’s perfect, and everything I do he beats me at. He’s better than me all the time, and I feel like nothing because of him.”
Benji sighed pityingly. It was like he’d been expecting this moment to happen. “I will never lie to you, son. And it’s from that place of honesty that I admit to you that your brother is a remarkable person. We all know it. But—and I need you to listen to me—so are you.”
“I’m your kid.” Cade sniffled. “You have to say that.”
“No,” Benji said sternly. “You impress me so much—you have no idea. You fill me with more joy than I ever thought possible, and you have the biggest heart of anyone I know. And that includes your brother.
“I mean, look at what you did today, sticking up for Lakum. Cade, most people would not get involved. Most people would see the odds stacked against them, and they wouldn’t dare stick their neck out. They’d turn and walk the other way. But not you. You threw yourself in front of this boy because you care and because you’re brave. I’m not sure I approve of your methods, but that’s a different conversation. The point is that you put the well-being of someone else over your own, and it takes a certain kind of person, a rare person, to do that.”
“A lot of good it did,” Cade said, his voice small. “I would have gotten my face stomped in if Tristan hadn’t shown up. Nothing I do is good enough.”
Benji looked at Cade with a skeptical expression. “Let me ask you one question. Once you intervened, did those boys leave Lakum alone? You stepping in, did it help?”
“Lakum took off. I’ve never seen a kid run faster in my entire life.”
“Sounds like you did exactly what you set out to do. You saved Lakum.”
“All I did was give those bullies a new target,” Cade said, slumping even farther. “If Tristan had been the one to step in, it would have been a totally different story.”
Benji stepped toward Cade and grasped him by his shoulders. He again angled his face to meet Cade’s downcast eyes.
“Cade, you did what was right, and you did it your way. You are you, and that’s all you can ever be. It’s all I want you to be.”
Cade let his father’s words and his prideful gaze soak in. He thought he’d be at best dismissed for harboring such feelings against his brother, at worst admonished. But his father had listened and treated Cade with the exact care that he’d needed. Cade felt silly for having expected anything less.
“Thanks, Dad,” Cade said, and Benji wrapped him up in a hug. When Cade pulled away, he looked up at his father uneasily. “So … you’re not mad about me hitting that jerk in his head? I mean, he had it coming.”
Benji smiled. “No, I’m not mad. I’m not sure I’d agree that he had it coming, but … look. I know I preach high standards for you boys. But I also realize that the galaxy can be a complicated place, and you have to figure out all the challenges and problems that it’s going to throw at you in your own way. Not my way, not your mother’s, not Tristan’s. Now, it’s very late. We should both try to get some sleep.”
Cade agreed, and he was heading to his bedroom when Benji called him back.
“Is everything okay?” Cade asked when he spotted his father standing exactly where he’d left him.
“Everything’s fine, I just—I wanted you to know that I understand that it’s not easy for you. Your brother casts a long shadow, there’s no doubt about it. But, Cade, if there’s one thing I know, without question, it’s that you’ll figure things out.
“I promise you, Cade. You will find your way.”
CHAPTER ONE
More enemy fire deflected off the Rubicon’s shields, causing both the ship to bounce in space and Cade’s stomach to bounce into his chest. He wrapped his hand around a strap that hung from the cargo hold wall, steadying himself as he swallowed his insides down. After taking a deep breath, he looked over and saw Kira smirking at him.
“What?” Cade asked, agitated.
“Nothing, nothing at all,” Kira said. “I just didn’t know you were so delicate. But it’s fine. Totally cool.”
Cade groaned. “You know, even by our standards, this is excessively stupid.”
Kira put up her hands. “Hey, don’t look at me. This is your friend’s idea.”
“Huh?” came Mig’s voice from the back of the cargo hold, where he was tinkering with something or other. “Is Cade complaining again?”
“I’m not complaining,” Cade said. “I’m just … processing. Verbally. I’m verbally processing.”
“Verbally processing your complaint,” Kira said. “We got it.”
“You know what? I’m ready. I am ready to jump out of this ship now.”
“Such a sensitive Chosen One.” Mig snickered as he stepped in front of Cade and started fiddling with his grav suit. “I’m just going to shut this clasp. If you’re going to leap into the cold, deadly abyss of space, it’s best if you
r enclosure is airtight.”
Cade rolled his shoulders, unable to find any comfort inside the cumbersome exoskeleton. Grav suits were nothing new; crew members used them all the time, especially on larger starships, to make exterior repairs. But in those instances, the grav suits were tethered to the ship. They moved slowly and safely.
Mig’s version was neither slow nor safe. He’d reinforced Kira’s grav suits so the exterior was harder to penetrate, but Cade was less concerned with the ramifications of taking enemy fire and more concerned with the suit’s propulsion capabilities, which, thanks to Mig’s upgrades, could now power a small starhopper. Having that kind of power right beneath his feet and hands didn’t sit well with Cade. Especially since he was supposed to use that power to propel himself through space and hope nothing went wrong—and in this case, wrong could send Cade careening off into space, where he’d die a long, excruciating death. Cade had one fear in life, and that was it. He could take on a squad of Praxian drones with hands so steady you could rest your drink on them; he could fly any ship through a furious dogfight with a smile on his face. While he didn’t relish the idea of meeting the sharp end of a quanta staff or being incinerated by an enemy starfighter, at least those ends would be quick. But confronting the vast, emptiness of space? Where he’d float for days and do nothing but think? That scared the crap out of him.
The ship was rocked by enemy fire again, and Cade nearly lost his lunch.
“You know,” Kira said, “if I could hand over the control of my ship to your cranky drone, you should be able to handle this.”
“I never thought I’d say this, but for the first time, Duke is actually the least of my problems,” Cade said.
From over his shoulder, Cade heard 4-Qel’s heavy gait as he lumbered down the cargo hold’s ramp. He “whistled” a monotone tune as he joined Cade, Kira, and Mig.
“Personally, I’m excited,” the drone said. He’d been equipped with the propulsion units, but he didn’t need the grav suit. Because, apparently, nothing could kill him.
We Are Mayhem--A Black Star Renegades Novel Page 1
