Lord, he prayed. Please open up my heart and mind so I can treat people with a wide-open spirit instead of always being guarded. I know it’s wrong to judge yet I’m constantly finding fault with Sage. I don’t want to be guided by fear and suspicions.
He had a long way to go before he conquered his issues from the past, but asking the Lord for assistance felt like reaching out for a life preserver. Although he pretended everything was fine with him on a day-to-day basis, he knew he wasn’t living his best life. He was jaded due to his prior experiences. The shell he’d built around himself had been born out of heartache, but tonight had shown him that little by little Sage was chipping away at it. She was stirring up feelings he’d stuffed down for a long time.
You’ll never know if you don’t try. It was something his father used to tell him. Whether it was trying out for the Little League baseball team or working to put together a massive Lego set, those words of encouragement had been thrown in his direction.
Tug Crawford had been a bighearted, generous man who had loved freely and without reservation. Hank had always wanted to live up to his dad’s larger-than-life image. He had always imagined he could do so through his career in law enforcement. Perhaps another way of doing so would be to put himself out there with Sage despite his reservations.
He wanted to kiss her. Truthfully, he had wanted to kiss her for quite some time now, but his desire to steer clear of complications had veered him off course. His head had ruled his emotions. And why shouldn’t he share an embrace with a lovely woman with whom he’d established a special connection? This opportunity might never crop up again. Sage would be leaving town soon and he would be left with a host of regrets if he didn’t at least try to act on his instincts.
Hank dipped his head down and pressed his lips against Sage’s. Her sweet aroma filled his nostrils—a mixture of a floral scent and the hint of evergreen. Her lips were soft and tasted like the hot cocoa she’d just finished. Once his lips touched hers, he knew there was no going back. He was stepping out on a limb of faith and going for it. She kissed him back with equal intensity, her lips moving tenderly against his own. He felt her clinging to the fabric of his winter coat as if he was literally sweeping her off her feet.
This embrace was the culmination of every moment, every thought he’d ever had about this fascinating woman since he’d first seen her on the ferry. When they pulled apart, Sage’s face was still upturned toward his own. When she opened her russet-colored eyes they were shining brightly. If he could, Hank would have stretched this moment out a bit longer. He drew in a ragged breath to steady himself. Kissing Sage had been a dizzying experience, one he’d thoroughly enjoyed.
When they returned to the main path, they walked side by side with their arms touching.
Along the way they were met with a few raised eyebrows and curious glances. Hank smiled to himself at the notion that he and Sage would be on the lips of the townsfolk tomorrow morning. Normally, he would hate being the subject of gossip, but strangely, this didn’t bother him at all. Maybe this was progress, he realized.
Perhaps there was hope for him after all.
* * *
As the night wound down, Sage settled herself by the roaring fire in order to warm up her chilled bones. The temperature in Owl Creek gave a whole new meaning to the word frosty. She’d been all right for most of the evening, but her nose and cheeks now felt frozen. Sitting by herself gave her the opportunity to reflect on her romantic interlude with Hank. The kiss had been enjoyable, even though it hadn’t been the smartest move on her part. Hank Crawford represented truth and honor. If he had a single clue as to the secrets she was keeping, he would be full of outrage and condemnation. And she wouldn’t blame him. Not one single bit. It made her feel awful just knowing she was keeping things from him, especially after Theresa had put him through the ringer. She let out an anguished sigh. She shouldn’t have kissed him! It only served to complicate matters.
Her chest tightened at the thought of Hank’s disapproval if he knew her truths. She hadn’t planned on caring about him; it had happened when she’d let her guard down. Sharing a kiss with Hank had been emotionally satisfying and romantic, yet it wasn’t going to amount to anything other than a moment in the moonlight. There wasn’t a future for them. She’d be leaving Owl Creek soon, and she would take this beautiful memory with her, all the while regretting lying to him.
She raised her fingers to her lips, reliving the sweetness of Hank’s kiss. If only she could truly explore this incredible connection with Hank without so much hanging over her head. She might regret not being able to do so for the rest of her life. Forgetting Sheriff Hank Crawford would be near impossible. But a life with him was as far out of reach as the constellations in the dark Alaskan sky.
Suddenly, Willa appeared, taking a seat by the fire next to Sage. The presence of her birth mother was comforting. She exuded such an air of grace and tranquility. Sage remembered reading about Willa’s and Nate’s faith in one of the old newspaper articles. They had talked about how their belief in God had led them through the darkness and allowed them to still believe in the light. It had given her chills when she’d read it.
“Hey there, Willa. I was hoping to see you here tonight,” Sage said, excitement roaring through her at being able to spend a little time with her mother.
“Hi, Sage. I hope you’re enjoying yourself.” She leaned over and gave Sage a hug. “This is one of my favorite town events. There’s such a feeling of goodwill in the air. It’s palpable.”
“I really am having a good time. Your owls are magnificent.” Sage studied Willa’s face.
Despite her cheerful words, her eyes were blank and lifeless. It was as if Sage was looking at a completely different person than the one she’d spent time with the other day. Something seemed very off.
“I don’t mean to pry, but is everything all right? I know this is a stressful time for you, so it’s understandable if you’re not feeling your best.”
Willa’s lips trembled. “Oh, Sage. I’m feeling completely out of sorts. I don’t know if I’m coming or going if I’m being honest.” She let out a ragged sigh. “My family has made a decision to rescind the reward offer, and it’s breaking my heart.”
Sage felt a roiling sensation in her stomach. Although she’d known it was a possibility, it felt a bit shocking to hear it from Willa’s lips. “The one you and Mr. North offered for information about your daughter’s whereabouts?”
“Yes,” Willa said, blinking away moisture in her eyes. “Nate and I have had such a single-minded focus on tracking down Lily that we neglected to consider the heavy toll it’s taken on Connor and Braden, not to mention Nate’s parents.
“Neither of my boys has had an easy time of it,” she continued. “I think we need to focus on their wants and needs. My son Braden is always making excuses for not being here in Owl Creek with the family. Connor thinks he’s running from something. Growing up in the shadow of Lily’s abduction has been difficult to say the least.”
Nausea rose up in Sage’s throat. She felt sick. Her birth family was suffering due to her.
Although it hurt to know they were giving up on finding her, she understood their need to let go. They had been in limbo for twenty-five years. It was time.
She swallowed past the lump in her throat. “Well, you clearly love your family very much. Protecting the ones we love is so important.” It was what she was doing with the man who’d raised her. Come what may she would go on protecting him, even if it meant she might never be known as Lily North.
“It is, isn’t it? I’ll never stop loving my Lily and praying for her health and happiness, but I’ve got to let go of this idea she’ll come back to us.”
Sage locked gazes with Willa. The emotional side of her wanted to cry out and tell her mother the truth. But the rational side of her knew it would be an earth-shattering declaration. It would open up a wo
rld of trouble leading directly back toward Eric Duncan. She’d vowed to never allow it to happen. It was all so very sad, Sage realized. So many people had been affected by the selfish actions of one woman whose desire for a baby had led her to do the unthinkable.
With a sinking sensation, Sage realized there was no reason to stay in Alaska much longer. She’d already met her biological family and found proof in the form of the photo in Piper’s diner that showed her mother had been in Owl Creek twenty-five years ago. If she hung around for a few more weeks it would only serve to complicate matters.
Sage released a belabored sigh. She was already becoming enmeshed in the fabric of daily life in this close-knit town and she cared deeply about so many people here. She had come to Alaska seeking answers and along the way she’d discovered so much about her roots, the North family and the Alaskan way of life. God had been with her every step of the way, giving her the strength and purpose to dig into her past. There would forever be a hole that couldn’t be filled up by anything but her birth family, but she felt grateful for all the experiences and the knowledge she’d gained.
All she could hope for in this situation was the grace to walk away knowing she’d done her best in an impossible predicament.
Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to go on this journey. And for bringing so many wonderful people into my life.
Hank’s handsome face flashed before her eyes. She couldn’t stop thinking about him or the kiss they’d shared. It had taken her a long time to admit it to herself, but she had powerful feelings for Hank, ones she’d never felt before in her life. Saying goodbye to him would be extremely difficult.
Blinking back tears, Sage couldn’t imagine how she’d ever thought this journey could ever bring her closure.
She would be full of regret for the rest of her life about the road not traveled. Life wasn’t fair! She had come all this way only to have her heart wrapped up in a man she could never have. In truth, she didn’t want to head back to Florida with the knowledge that she’d never be able to fully explore her tender feelings for Hank.
There were many dangling questions. What might have developed with Hank if she’d told the Norths the truth and stayed here in Owl Creek? What ties might she have been able to forge with her family members if given the time? She really didn’t have a choice in the matter. The circumstances were completely out of her control. Jane Duncan had set this terrible situation in motion all those years ago and now she had been left holding the bag. Keeping silent was the only way to ensure that the man who’d raised her and always loved her remained safe.
Although her heart felt heavy at the moment, Sage didn’t regret coming all this way to Alaska because this trip had forever changed her. Her heart was now permanently engraved with all the people in Owl Creek who’d touched her life in one way or another.
Chapter Eleven
When she woke up the next morning, Sage knew she had to tell Trudy she was leaving Owl Creek earlier than expected. The innkeeper had been so gracious and kind to her during her stay and it made her ache a little inside to even think about saying goodbye to her. But it was something she knew she had to do.
Sage had tossed and turned throughout the night as her conscience poked and prodded her. Kissing Hank had shown her that she’d become overly invested in him and the entire town. It was time to go back to her life in Florida, even though she knew she’d be leaving a piece of her heart right here in Alaska.
At the moment, Owl Creek was in the middle of a major snowstorm. Trudy seemed very nonchalant about the whirling snow and heavy winds, having seen this type of weather system many times before in the past. Sage had never seen anything like it in her life and she worried about Hank keeping safe in the storm since Trudy had made a point to tell her he’d gone into the sheriff’s office as usual this morning.
“Let’s sit down for a cup of tea, shall we?” Trudy suggested. “Addie is napping, so my hands are free for a bit. It won’t be as good as the tea Iris serves over at Tea Time, but it will still hit the spot.”
“Of course it will. Let me get the teacups and saucers from the cupboard.”
Sage began taking out the tea set while Trudy busied herself at the stove. Within minutes they were seated at the kitchen table, sipping peach tea and nibbling on shortbread cookies. It felt nice to be having a leisurely afternoon tea while the storm raged on outside.
After taking a sip of the fragrant brew, Sage placed the cup down on the saucer and cleared her throat. “Trudy, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”
Trudy looked at her and smiled. Her eyes twinkled. “Let me guess. Is this about Hank? I saw the two of you getting along beautifully last night.” She winked at her. “In case you’re wondering, I fully approve.”
She shook her head. “No, it’s not about Hank. We’re just friends, by the way.” The moment she uttered the words, her heart rejected them as false. Did friends kiss in the moonlight? she wondered. Not that she would disclose that tidbit to Trudy under any circumstances. If she did, his mother might just start planning their wedding. Why did the thought of spending forever with Hank seem so appealing?
“Well, you could have fooled me,” Trudy said, making a face. For the first time since Sage had known her, the innkeeper looked slightly grumpy.
Sage broke eye contact with Trudy. She couldn’t bear to look in her eyes and see disappointment. “I’ve decided to cut my visit to Owl Creek short. I’m going to be making plans to head home early next week.”
Trudy let out a shocked sound, causing Sage to look over at her.
“Oh no, Sage! Did something happen? I thought you were enjoying your time here.”
“Oh, I am, Trudy,” she said, reaching out to hold her hand. “It’s been a wonderful sojourn. I just think I should be with my father right now. He’s dealing with a mountain of grief and he shouldn’t have to ride this out alone.”
“I understand, Sage. Truly I do. I can’t say I’m not bitterly disappointed though. I’m going to miss you something fierce, and I daresay many others will feel the same way.” She stared pointedly at Sage. It was obvious she was making a reference to Hank, but Sage wasn’t going to go down that road with Trudy. She’d made her peace the other night with the fact that she and Hank wouldn’t lead to anything but a dead end. She needed to be realistic.
“You’ve become an honorary daughter to me. I couldn’t ask for a better lodger.” Trudy wiped away a tear from her cheek. “Look at me getting all sentimental.”
“Trudy, you’ve been a godsend to me during this really difficult period in my life. I’ll always be grateful for your friendship and hospitality.” Sage found herself getting choked up too. Goodbyes were never easy for her.
“I hope you won’t be a stranger to us here in Owl Creek. I’d love for you to come back for another visit, and I promise to write to you and send pictures of Addie. These little ones change so much in the blink of an eye.”
Sage knew in all likelihood she wouldn’t be returning to this quaint Alaskan town. It would be like reopening a wound. Leaving once without telling the Norths the truth would be painful enough, but she couldn’t bear to come back for a visit, only to leave again. And although it would be sweet to receive pictures of Addie it would only serve to remind her of everything she could never have with Hank.
Why lead Trudy on and make her think it might happen? Sage simply smiled and nodded.
Trudy continued talking. “Will you promise to stay for the cook-off competition? It’s coming up on the weekend. I could really use another set of hands on my team.” Trudy crossed her hands in prayer-like fashion. “Please please please stay for it,” she begged.
The Owl Creek cook-off competition had been something Sage had been eagerly anticipating. She wouldn’t miss it for the world. It would be her last event in town before she said her final goodbyes in a few days.
“Of course I will,” Sag
e agreed. “Are you still planning to make chili? That’s a personal favorite of mine.”
Trudy clapped her hands together. “That’s the plan. And I’m calling it Trudy’s knock-your-socks-off chili. Only a few people know my secret ingredients.” She leaned in toward Sage and said, “I add honey and a few pieces of North Star chocolate.” She placed a finger at her lips. “Don’t tell anyone. People have been asking me for years.”
Sage threw back her head and chuckled. “Your secret is safe with me,” she assured her.
Never in her life had she heard of anyone adding chocolate to chili. All roads really did lead to chocolate in Owl Creek.
Trudy winked at her. “Laugh all you want. I’m fixing to win that cook-off with my chili and earn some major bragging rights.”
Sage smirked. “You might have some serious competition. From what I hear, Hank is making something special himself.”
“Do me a favor, will you?” Trudy asked. “Make sure you let Hank know you’ll be leaving town soon.”
Sage frowned. “Of course. Why is it so important to you?”
The older woman fiddled with her fingers, twisting them around and around. “I know you said you’re just friends, but Hank has suffered a lot of losses in his life. I don’t want him to feel blindsided by the news. I’ll let you tell him in your own time. Just don’t wait too long.”
“I won’t,” Sage promised, taking a long sip of her tea. The thought of saying goodbye to the people she’d gotten close to caused a groundswell of panic to hit her. Perhaps she’d wait until the day of the cook-off to tell everyone else the news. They would probably be so engaged by the event that they wouldn’t even process her news. Which would be best because, all things considered, she preferred to depart Owl Creek as quietly as she’d arrived in the Alaskan hamlet.
Her Secret Alaskan Family (Home To Owl Creek Book 1) Page 13
