by K. M. Fahy
“Don’t leave!” Jera’s words broke over heaving sobs as Jorid steered Kitieri through the door, slamming it behind them.
Chapter 13
Kitieri leaned her head back against the wall in the corner of her cell. Vivid nightmares plagued every second of her sleep on the rare chance that she dozed off, snapping her back to consciousness and brutal reality.
Awake or asleep, it didn’t matter. Horror and guilt tore at her either way, as the sickening smell of death hung in her nose and her sister’s screams ricocheted through her mind.
She’d protected her sister. She’d protected the Church. She’d done the right thing, and she’d do it again if she had to. The man had been a dangerous threat. She wasn’t a murderer. She… she…
Kitieri dropped her head, letting her loose hair fall over her face.
Over the hours of repetition, her words had begun to crumble under the weight of objective scrutiny. Did she really believe that? Would anyone believe it?
She’d saved her sister, but the root of her horror dug much deeper. She’d had no control. None. The lightning had acted on its own, taking the man’s life instead of Jera’s in a bout of sheer happenstance.
A violent shudder passed through Kitieri’s body. If the heap of ashes on the Sanctuary floor had been Jera… if her lightning had been off by one inch… would she be able to declare herself innocent of murder?
No.
A single drop traced the wet tracks down her cheeks from tears long spent. She’d been foolish to believe she’d be any different than all the lightnings that had died at the dawn of the Strikes. No one could control something like this. A power so strong, so hateful, so angry could only kill. She was every bit the monster Jorid feared. Left free and unchecked, she would end up just like the rest of her kind, taking her loved ones down with her like Haldin’s wife.
A fresh wave of guilt slammed into Kitieri. For some reason, against all odds, Haldin had believed in her. He’d fought for her, and poured all of his energy and willpower into the hope that she would somehow become the officer the Church of Enahris needed. Haldin had been the closest thing she’d ever had to a friend, and she’d let him down… just like everyone else who’d depended on her to be something she could never be.
Light flooded the small chamber, and Kitieri’s eyes closed reflexively against the pain. A film of moisture gathered as she forced them open, spilling over to follow the well-worn tear tracks down her face.
“You’ve been summoned by the Baliant and her Board of Advisors,” a man said. Kitieri squinted up at his blurry silhouette, but did not recognize his voice.
Here we go.
The officer pulled her to her feet, his touch neither gentle nor cruel, and guided her from the cell into a torchlit hallway. Kitieri counted the stairs, marking every landing in the back of her mind. They’d climbed five floors before a window appeared, frosted with dew as the sun’s first rays just grazed its glass.
Another nine flights brought Kitieri before the rich double doors, where Haldin stood waiting. She dropped her eyes as the officer marched her before the man.
“Thank you, Raden,” Haldin said. “I’m putting you on post while I’m in there.”
“Yes, Commander.”
“Kitieri.”
She jumped at the sound of her name, glancing up at Haldin’s pale eyes. The shadows around them seemed darker, the fine lines in his skin more pronounced as he looked down at her.
“Haldin,” she started, fighting her dry throat, “I’m so—”
“Listen to me.” He leaned forward, the weight of his hands falling on both her shoulders. “Say as little as you can in there. Do not speak unless spoken to. Do you understand?”
Kitieri responded with a tight nod.
“These people can and will turn anything you say against you,” he continued. “I’ve seen them do it time and time again. They will demean you, they will call you a liar, they will go for your throat, and if you let them, they will win. They make a job out of winning.” His hands tightened on her shoulders. “And they’re out for your blood now.”
Kitieri stared into Haldin’s eyes, speechless. Winning? What could they win against her that she didn’t deserve?
As Haldin turned for the door, the oran cuffs stopped Kitieri from reaching out. “Wait.”
Haldin looked over his shoulder.
“I just want you to know that I’m sorry,” she said. “For letting you down.”
Haldin went still, studying her face. “What makes you think you let me down?”
“You trusted me enough to take the bands off and I failed. I can’t control it. I never could, and this whole thing is just—”
Haldin stepped forward, jabbing a finger in her face, and Kitieri drew back as his fingertip almost prodded her nose.
“You can,” he whispered. “And I don’t want to hear any more talk like that from you. If I have anything to say about it, we’ll be back in the training yard this afternoon.” Haldin lowered his pointing finger, and his expression softened. “I know that what happened scared you, Kitieri,” he continued. “It would scare any sane person. But do you remember what you told me the day I gave you those oran bands?”
Kitieri swallowed, dreading the echo of the ignorant shit she’d said that day. She’d been upset, and what was worse, she’d truly thought then that she could control her element. She’d believed that—
“You can save lives,” Haldin said.
Voice trembling, Kitieri forced herself to hold his gaze. “I don’t think that anymore.”
Haldin sighed through his nose. “I believe it. In time, you will again, too.”
Turning, he pushed the door open, and Kitieri followed him into the room. Six faces situated around the oblong table turned to stare as she entered, their eyes locking on her like vultures.
“About time, Commander,” an elderly woman barked, shaking the loose skin about her jowls. A single silver ringlet escaped the tight bun atop her head to rest on the shoulder of her black robes, adorned with the same golden sash Stil had worn. Kitieri looked away, stomach turning at the unwelcome memories.
“Sorry to keep you waiting, Chief Advisor.” Tension laced Haldin’s polite words, and the woman rolled her eyes behind her half-moon spectacles.
Haldin positioned Kitieri at the end of the long table with no chair, leaving her to stand on display as the Advisors gawked.
“Those are oran cuffs, now?” asked the large man with the dark, bushy eyebrows. He gestured at Kitieri’s midsection, as if they could all see straight through her to the cuffs behind her back.
“Of course,” Haldin replied.
Attention shifted to the door opposite the chamber’s entrance from the hall, and Kitieri blew out a silent breath as the six Advisors turned to watch the servant reenter.
“The Baliant of Enahris,” he announced with a low bow. The Advisors stood as Catarva swept into the room with a commanding air in the regal white robes, taking her place at the far end of the table from Kitieri. Their eyes met, and through her neutral expression, Kitieri caught a glimpse of a kind smile.
“This meeting of the Board of Advisors is in session,” she said. “Thank you, Chief Advisor Amadora, Advisors Ghentrin, Farr, Rulka, Darrow, Emerit, and Commander Haldin for your time and service this morning.”
“Ugh, he’s staying?” Amadora peered around the one other woman present, whom Kitieri assumed to be Rulka, to glare at Haldin.
“Yes,” Catarva replied. “This is a matter involving multiple officers under his command, and he is Officer Kitieri’s instructor. He is staying. Please, take your seats.”
All at the table sank into the high-backed chairs, except Kitieri. She stood awkwardly, resisting the temptation to fidget as the Advisors resumed their staring. A few of their gazes were curious, though most held a mixture of fear and contempt—especially those of Amadora and Eyebrows.
The Chief Advisor cleared her throat.
“Officer Kitieri Manon, you sta
nd on trial here today for murder by use of an illegal element. How do you respond?”
Kitieri’s palms broke into a clammy sweat as she scanned the expectant faces at the table. How was she expected to answer that? “I—”
“It wasn’t murder.”
Haldin’s voice to her left startled Kitieri, and she snapped her head around to stare at him. Eyebrows scoffed, slapping an open hand on the table.
“Not murder?” he boomed. “We’ve got a body burned beyond recognition here, so I am quite interested to hear how you plan to twist this one.”
“Ghentrin.” Catarva’s cool tone covered the man’s rumbling.
“Officer Kitieri acted as any of my trained officers would in such a circumstance,” Haldin said. “As you heard in their accounts earlier, Officers Jorid and Kinu were pulled away from their posts, and this man slipped through. Kitieri protected our Church from invasion with lethal use of her element—a skill in which all of my officers are trained.”
He cut his eyes to Amadora with his last words, and Kitieri sensed a history between them on the topic. The woman sniffed, lifting her chin.
“Well,” she huffed, jowls shaking again, “most of your officers wield legal elements and exhibit full control. This one does not.”
“You are not qualified to determine her level of control,” Haldin spat. “I am. Officer Kitieri has trained relentlessly since her arrival here, and she has made great progress—”
“Progress is not proficiency,” said the tall, thin man beside Ghentrin. “She still presents a very real danger to society.”
“Precisely, Darrow,” Amadora said. “Lightnings were outlawed for a reason. There is no such thing as true control with an element like that.”
“That is not true,” Haldin countered. “I have seen her work, and I can tell you right now that Officer Kitieri has the capacity for full control. Her training, in addition to the oran bands—”
“Ah, yes,” Darrow drawled, lifting a long finger to his chin, “the oran bands that you removed from her wrists without our permission, if I recall.”
Haldin’s expression darkened, and Kitieri watched him with mounting apprehension. What was he doing? What was he thinking? Why in the hells would he jeopardize his position and rank to go against the Board like this on her behalf?
She could not deny the validity of the Board’s points on the dangers of her existence, and the last thing she wanted was for Haldin to go down with her.
Stop, Haldin. Please, stop.
“We agreed that I had the right to determine the path of her training,” the Commander said, smashing his finger into the tabletop. “It is my job to determine when she is—”
“It was your job to keep her from murdering people,” Amadora said, almost shouting over Haldin’s words. “And you failed miserably. Frankly, I’ve half a mind to hold you responsible as an accomplice in this murder.”
“No.” The word slipped from Kitieri’s lips before she could stop it, and every eye in the room came to rest on her. Though her throat closed up, she forced a quick breath into her lungs. “He’s not responsible for this. I am.”
“Kitieri.” Haldin’s low warning reached her ears. “Don’t say anything else. Let me handle this.”
She did not dare look at him before pressing on. “I went down to the Sanctuary last night because I knew there was a Strike coming,” she said, ignoring Haldin’s sigh. “My element can feel them, and I wanted to be outside and away from everyone when it hit. Before I could get there, an agent of the Church of Histan walked right through our front doors. I don’t know why, but I do know that he meant harm. He was skittish and he threatened my sister, who’d followed me. So yes, you’re right to say that I killed a man and that I’m dangerous. I won’t disagree with you on that. But what I’m wondering is why none of you seem concerned about who I killed and what he was doing here.”
Ghentrin made a phlegmy sound of disgust in his throat, swatting the air.
“You can’t prove who you murdered,” he said. “All we have to go on is your word, and you’ll excuse me if I’m not the first in line to believe it. You could claim anything right now, and this fool would lie through his teeth to confirm it.” The man flung a meaty hand in Haldin’s direction, and Kitieri’s temper flared in her breast.
Fuck you, you pompous piece of shit.
“Does the Church of Enahris make fake PCRs?” she asked.
“Excuse me?” Amadora pulled her head back, bearing a strong resemblance to an indignant turtle.
“Do we make and sell fake PCRs?” Kitieri repeated herself with a forced air of innocent curiosity.
“Of course not!” Ghentrin bellowed.
“Then there’s your proof.” Kitieri dropped her high, innocent pitch to a growl, and watched Ghentrin blink in confusion. “The man was wearing a fake PCR, which is why my lightning could touch him in the first place. So unless you are willing to collectively admit that you steal from the people of this city and send them out into the lightning to die, you don’t have a choice but to recognize this man as being of the Church of Histan.”
“Well,” Amadora said, squinting over her spectacles, “agent of Histan or not, he should have been taken alive. It is not your call to execute on a whim, Officer.”
Kitieri’s face grew hot with simultaneous anger and embarrassment as all possible replies eluded her. Information would have been more valuable than his death…
“Are you serious, Amadora?” Haldin said, leaning around Rulka. “You know what the Church of Histan is doing right this very second, holding our own officers hostage, and you have the gall to defend them?”
“I am defending no one,” Amadora spat back. “The Church of Histan has committed an act of war, and we will respond accordingly.”
Haldin’s eyes grew wide and his face turned pale. “You’re saying…” He paused, breath catching in his throat. “You mean to declare war… on the Church of Histan?”
“Yes.” Amadora lifted her head, squaring her shoulders. “We cannot let their actions go unanswered.”
Kitieri’s gaze darted between the two as her mind scrambled to keep up with the exchange. Officers held hostage…?
“I have told you there is a better way!” Haldin’s fist on the table startled her.
“Oh yes—your little pet project here?” Amadora lifted a hand toward Kitieri, eyebrows raised. “That’s your better way?”
Her shrill laughter filled the room, followed by Ghentrin’s deep guffaw and quiet, nervous chuckles from the rest of the Board. Darrow and one of the other men wore a smirk, but the last man and Rulka did not smile at all. Rulka glanced to Kitieri, dark waves cascading over her shoulder as their eyes met for a fleeting moment.
“You truly think some half-trained little girl can turn the tides?” Amadora asked, still shaking with bursts of laughter. “She’s liable to kill our own officers and herself in the process. Trust me, Haldin, her sentence will be a kindness.”
Kitieri’s blood chilled as she considered for the first time the kind of sentence this woman might mean.
“So let me get this straight,” Haldin said in a low voice, seething just below the surface. “Because of your fear of one officer’s power, you would send all of my officers against a superior force into a war that you know we can’t win—”
“They are not your officers, Commander,” Amadora barked. “They work for the Church of Enahris, and they will follow my ord—”
“They are my officers, not the Board’s.” Catarva cut across her Chief Advisor, her velvety tone blacker than night. “And I will not send good, loyal men and women to slaughter. Officer Kitieri can help us buy the time we need.”
Amadora swiveled in her chair, turning a scathing glare on the Baliant. “You only have so much power here,” she hissed. “And a unanimous Board outweighs the wishes of the Baliant.”
Haldin clenched his fist, elbow resting on the table. “You would let them die,” he said quietly. “You would let them all die
for the sake of a power struggle you know we can never win.”
Amadora tossed her head. “We don’t keep a ready force of officers just for show, Commander. Occasionally, they must earn their keep.”
Haldin’s jaw dropped open, and Kitieri felt her renewed rage bubble to the surface. Pawns. We’re just pawns to them. Not even people.
The ghost of the red officer’s words brushed her thoughts, and she saw the ice element standing over her with his malicious sneer. Little more than animals.
Her stomach turned as she looked around the table. Power would always beget greed for more power, until all beneath them were quelled into submission or death. For all their talk of war, the Boards of Enahris and Histan were not so different after all.
Amadora stood abruptly, pushing her chair back with surprising force.
“This discussion is over,” she announced. “The Board is in agreement that this young woman is a danger to herself and others due to her lack of elemental control.”
“In agreement?” Haldin lurched forward, palms turned upwards. “Half of them never even—”
“We must stick to our laws,” Amadora screeched over Haldin. “A lightning is far too dangerous to allow free rein in this climate. As Chief Advisor, I am bringing this matter to a final vote. I propose the indefinite imprisonment of Officer Kitieri Manon, pending release upon her proven ability to return her illegal element to a locked status, never to be used again. In addition, I propose that Commander Haldin Arnod be placed under an order of zero contact with the prisoner, as he is far too emotionally involved in this matter to act in the best interests of our Church community.”
“What?” Haldin vaulted from his chair. “That is absurd! If I can’t train her, there’s no possible way—”
“All in favor, say ‘aye!’” Amadora cried over Haldin’s objections. A hesitant chorus of vague vowel sounds lifted from the table, and Kitieri could swear the bitch blew smoke from her nostrils. “All in favor,” she repeated more slowly, “say ‘aye.’”
