by Brian Bakos
“We’re at the sports club,” Eddie said.
“How nice,” I said.
He placed his hand on the wall. Elevator doors popped open in what had seemed to be a solid surface.
“Cool!” Quentin said.
“After you, Amanda,” Eddie said with a slight bow.
I was not won over by his old-fashioned manners, but I did get in first. We whooshed up at stomach-wrenching speed and got off at a long, curvy hallway.
Everything up here was a soft, glowing white, so I couldn’t make out details very well. It was like I was in the middle of a marshmallow ocean.
Eddie walked ahead, fortunately, so I was able to keep my eyes fixed on him. Otherwise, I might have gotten turned around, as had happened inside the Tire Giant when I’d tried to walk unassisted.
“You can have a room to yourself, Amanda,” Eddie said. “Quentin will stay with us in the team dorm.”
“Yeah ... thanks,” I said.
We came to a little oval outline on the wall. Eddie pressed his palm against it, and an invisible door slid open. We entered a small room as white and blurry as the hallway – no windows, just a desk, chair, and a bed. Another sliding door in back opened into a bathroom.
“I’d better lay down,” I said. “I’m feeling a bit light-headed.”
“You’re probably just hungry,” Quentin said, “I sure am.”
“We’ll have some food sent up for you, Amanda,” Eddie said. “Oh, and wear this.”
He handed me a little ear piece with an elastic strap around it.
“It translates Kintz,” he said. “No pictures, unfortunately.”
I watched the boys walk off down the corridor. Eddie wrapped an arm over Quentin’s shoulders, real buddies. I felt about as useful as an air conditioner at the North Pole.
I went back inside my little domain.
“Well ... here we are.”
The bathroom was similar to any at home, except for the shower. The moment I got in, soapy water jets sprayed from all directions. The next thing I knew, I was floating in mid air, then I was rotating around! The water turned clear, then shut off. Warm air blasted me dry.
A light green jumpsuit lay folded on a shelf. It looked impossibly small, but when I started pulling it on, it expanded to cover me exactly right. It was comfortable, too.
When I came out, food was on the desk. It looked and tasted like a hamburger with fries, and a reasonable imitation of a Coke. Eddie must have taught these Kintz a few things.
I was so exhausted that I barely made it into bed. Something switched on, and I was hovering inches above the mattress. I was instantly asleep.
***
When I woke up, I had the delicious feeling that I was back home. All the strange events had been only a dream – like in that stupid ending to that The Wizard of Oz movie. When I’d first seen that movie, I’d felt cheated, but now I wanted a similar outcome.
I opened my eyes, hoping to see my familiar room spread around me. Instead, a trio of waxy Kintz were standing alongside my bed, staring at me with their department store dummy eyes.
“Ah!” I jerked upright. “Who are you?”
They didn’t budge, except to turn their heads slightly and stare at each other for a few seconds. They all wore translators, I grabbed mine.
“You don’t remember us, Lady Amanda?” they asked.
“N-no, should I?”
Something like sadness passed over their stiff features.
“You aided Lord Eddie in our rescue from the kidnappers,” the tallest one said. “He named us Kintz A, B, and C.”
I jumped out of bed. “Of course!”
These were the three Kintz girls from the Tire Giant, grown to my size now! The oldest one, Kintz A, was actually taller than me and very mature looking. We all hugged each other like long-lost sisters.
Their strange, crackly Kintz language came into my left ear like music from a radio with a busted speaker. The translator in my right ear switched it to English.
“Welcome, Lady Amanda!” the girls cried. “We never expected to see you again.”
“It’s great to be here!” I said.
I was so happy to see them that I didn’t even realize I was lying. We all wiped tears of joy from our eyes.
How was it that I could come to a different universe and feel so much at home?
I remembered that the two younger girls were twins. Yeah, they did look alike, but all Kintz looked pretty much the same to me at this point. Fortunately, their jumpsuits were slightly different shades.
“I don’t want to keep calling you A, B, C,” I said. “How about some new Earth American names?”
They all clapped their hands. “Yes, we’d like that!”
“Okay.” I gestured toward the oldest one. “You’ll be called ... Ilona.”
“Oh, how pretty,” she said.
I indicated the twins. “You’ll be Tricia and Kimmy.”
“Thank you, Lady Amanda!” they cried.
The trip here must have really warped my mind. Why else would I name my friends after three girls I couldn’t stand?
Then again, the names themselves were okay, and maybe the girls back home weren’t so bad, either – now that a whole universe separated them from me. Tricia and Kimmy were Quentin’s problem, and Ilona had only been sticking up for her brother.
But why did she attack me? I didn’t flush Calvin’s head.
“It’s so great to see you all again,” I said. “I’m so happy that you got back safe.”
“Thanks to you, Lady Amanda, and your bold plan,” Ilona said.
As always, I was impressed by the many little rings they had pierced through various areas. Ilona had four of them in each ear, another one through a nostril, and yet another one on the corner of one eyebrow. I couldn’t resist running my fingers over the ones stuck through her left ear.
“Do you like my piercings?” she asked.
“Yes, they’re very ... unusual,” I said.
“Would you like some for yourself?”
“Uh, not right now, thanks,” I said. “Maybe some other time.”
I could just imagine what Dad would say if I came home like that. If he didn’t knock himself out hitting the ceiling, first.
“Have you seen Quentin ... I mean, Prince Quentin?” I asked.
“Yes, he is in good form,” Ilona said.
“Can you take me to him?” I said.
“We certainly can,” Ilona said. “Come with us, Lady Amanda.”
She led the way out of my apartment and down the long, weird corridor. The sight lines were all distorted, as if they ran through dimensions we didn’t have back home. The blank whiteness didn’t help. Fortunately, Tricia and Kimmy held onto my arms.
The deathly quiet almost hurt my ears – as if we were walking on a cloud through a cemetery. Then Ilona placed her hand on a wall oval and a double door slid open.
The racket was tremendous now. We stepped onto a balcony.
16: Flame Ball
Below us, in an area at least twice as large as a basketball court, Quentin, Eddie, and ten Kintz boys were playing a violent game.
“They’ve been practicing since morning,” Ilona said.
It looked to be some demented type of field hockey. Six players on each side, reds against blues, wielding curved sticks. But the ball – well, it was made of fire!
“My brother is Captain.” Ilona pointed to one of the players. “You called him ‘Kintz One’ before.”
He was all grown up now and played as rough as the others. Quentin was the smallest player out there, and he’d have been getting clobbered if the Kintz weren’t so slow and clumsy.
Quentin dodged their blocks and shoves easily enough – most of the time. One did connect, though, and Quentin fell down hard. I flinched.
Three machine things floated around above the players. They reminded me of the maintenance robots we’d seen in the Tire Giant.
“What are those?” I
pointed at the weird machines.
“Umpires,” Kimmy said, “they are free of all prejudice, since they are merely robots.”
The pounding, struggling contest ground on. I recognized Eddie on the blue squad. Compared to Quentin he was fairly awkward, but still faster than the Kintz. Two players threw down their sticks and started punching each other. A robot separated them with a blast of electricity.
The referees in this sport were as violent as the players!
“Lady Melissa fancied my brother, I think,” Ilona said.
I looked away from the brawl. Beside me, Kimmy and Tricia were giggling. Nobody back home would think so, but I was getting better at reading the subtle Kintz gestures.
“You could put it that way,” I said.
Tricia and Kimmy giggled some more, I turned back to the game.
No, the ball wasn’t really on fire, but it trailed electricy stuff – like the blast from the golden scepter that had fried Quentin’s Viking helmet.
Hisssss!
Somebody smacked the ball hard, and it whizzed up to our level. The air smelled like a 4th of July sparkler. I stepped back, but my Kintz friends didn’t seem very alarmed.
“Can you give Kintz One a new name, also?” Ilona asked.
“Uh, sure,” I said, “let’s call him ... Calvin.”
Then an amazing thing happened. Two boys lifted off the floor and chased the ball in mid air. Fifteen feet up! Other players charged after them, a half dozen were battling and elbowing right in front of us.
A robot referee flew up with them. The thing was a long tube with claws on the ends of dangly arms. A bright ring of colored sensors flashed from its rotating head. It had no legs.
“Ugh!”
I moved back another step, the thing was even creepier than the maintenance robots in the Tire Giant. At least they didn’t blast people.
A player broke away with the ball. Quentin!
“Oh, look at that,” Ilona said. In Kintz terms she was practically shrieking.
Quentin shot down at the opposing goal. Two players rose to block him, but he dodged away and whacked the ball hard. It hissed past the goalkeeper, and a blinding orange light flashed.
Players crowded around Quentin, congratulating him. The usual macho stuff like back home.
“Prince Quentin possesses extraordinary talent,” Ilona said.
Quentin looked up from his crowd of admirers. “Hi, Amanda!”
He leaped right up to the balcony. He wore a shiny red jumpsuit with matching helmet and he was all bulgy with protective padding.
“You look great,” I said.
“These levitation belts are fantastic!” He pointed to a little gizmo strapped around his waist. “I wish I had one for basketball back home.”
He looked toward the girls. “Hi, Kintz A through C.”
“Lady Amanda has chosen new Earth American names for us,” the former Kintz A said, “I am Ilona, and these are Tricia and Kimmy.”
“Great.” Quentin turned toward me. “Thanks for using my sisters’ names, Amanda. That’s real class.”
“Don’t mention it,” I said.
Eddie hurtled up from the floor and joined us. He was dressed the same as Quentin, only in blue.
“You’re a natural!” He clapped Quentin on the back. “In a few years, you’ll be unbeatable.”
“Thanks, Eddie.” Quentin tried to act casual, but he was really eating up the praise.
Quentin wasn’t the only one enjoying this situation. Ilona shot Eddie a glance that would have melted any Kintz boy’s heart. Eddie didn’t seem to notice, though. Typical male.
“Hi girls,” he said.
“We have new names now.” Ilona took a step toward him. “I am called Ilona, and here are Tricia and Kimmy.”
“Okay,” Eddie said, without any particular interest.
A shadow of disappointment flickered across Ilona’s face. It was amazing how fast I was able to pick up on her emotional cues. Well, us girls have a lot in common, whatever universe we might be from.
I changed the subject:
“So, Eddie, this must be the ‘Deadly Serious Competition’ you mentioned.”
Eddie nodded. “Yes, Amanda, it’s the big game for the Kintz.”
“Did you see my first goal?” Quentin asked.
“No, we just got here,” I said.
“Oh ... ” Now it was Quentin’s turn to look disappointed.
Kintz One, Calvin, joined us. He wore the red outfit of Quentin’s squad and had a golden badge on his chest.
“Greetings, Lady Amanda,” he said, “I trust all is well with you?”
He made a chivalrous bow. I felt like a damsel receiving homage from a knight at some jousting tournament. This was stuff right out of Eddie’s old King Arthur book.
“Quite well, thank you,” I said.
“And Lady Melissa is also in fine fettle?” Calvin asked.
“She is also well,” I said.
“Please convey my regards when next you see her,” Calvin said.
Another player zoomed up. He bowed to us girls, fixing his gaze especially on Ilona. She lowered her eyes.
“Lady Amanda,” Calvin introduced, “This is my assistant captain, ###.” He gave a Kintz name I couldn’t hope to pronounce.
“Pleased to meet you,” I said.
But I wasn’t pleased. He had a hard look to him that gave me a chill. He looked mean.
The assistant captain made another bow. “The pleasure is mine, Lady Amanda.”
“Now, if you will please excuse us,” Calvin said, “we have much to do.”
He and his assistant whooshed back down to the floor. The players were leaving the court now, heading for some towel snapping fun in the locker room, no doubt. They dropped their equipment carelessly, littering the floor with sticks, gloves, and helmets. Attendants picked up after the conquering heroes and deactivated the referee robots.
I felt sorry for the attendants. The players treated them little better than robots, shoving past them as they left the court. The assistant Captain was especially rough and impolite.
“They sure are mean to the helpers,” I said.
“Yeah,” Eddie said. “That bothers me, too.”
“So, how brave are they against people who can fight back?” I said.
Eddie changed the subject.
“The guys have sure perked up,” he said. “We’ve got a real crack at winning the tournament now.”
“Yeah!” Quentin pumped a fist into the air.
“And what if one or two bruisers get a hold of Quentin?” I said. “He’d be smashed to a pulp.”
“Hopefully that won’t happen,” Eddie said. “We’ll cover him as best we can.”
“That’s wonderful,” I said, “but it’s still like sending a grade school kid out against the college football team.”
Ilona took my arm. “It seems there are issues you wish to discuss with your fellow Earth Americans,” she said. “We will come back to visit soon.”
“Okay, see you all later,” I said.
I watched the girls leave. Then I turned back to Eddie.
“Well?” I said.
“Of course there are problems for Quentin – and for me, too,” Eddie said, “but our human speed and reflexes are big advantages.”
“Yeah,” Quentin said. “Those Kintz guys are real stiffs.”
I wasn’t buying it. “So, it’s like a bull fight, huh? Great fun until the bull connects – but hopefully that won’t happen.”
Eddie shook his head. “I wish I could make you understand. It’s all part of the deal.”
“Part of the deal?” I said. “What’s the other part, Eddie?”
Quentin put a hand on my shoulder. “Come on, Amanda, let’s go have some lunch.”
17: The Horrid Truth
“What!” I practically knocked over the table as I jumped up. “You agreed to let them invade Earth just so you could recruit a team?”
The c
afeteria got real quiet, Kintz looked at us from the other tables.
“It’s not that simple, Amanda,” Eddie said.
“You lose the game, and we get invaded,” I said. “That looks simple enough to me.”
If there’d been a sharp knife handy, I might have grabbed it.
“Calm down Amanda,” Quentin said.
“I am calm!”
“If the enemy beats us here, they’ll attack the Earth anyway,” Eddie said. “All I did was make it part of the official deal.”
I sat down, like a puppet with its strings cut.
“They already found Earth on their own once,” Quentin said, “it’s just a matter of time before they can do it again.”
“Yes, yes ...” I said.
I covered my face with my hands. Nightmare visions exploded in my mind. I saw the sharp, evil face of the Tire Giant guard – his red eyes and corpse complexion. How many more like him would be coming?
I tried to make sense of what I’d heard:
The struggle against the Purple faction had dragged on for years, but neither side could get an advantage. They each controlled about half of this world, and Core City was divided between them at the river. Finally, it was agreed to settle everything with a great flame ball contest.
Unbelievable! I mean, people back home go nuts over football games and stuff, but this was really nuts.
“It’s kind of a duel,” Quentin said.
“Yes,” Eddie said, “winner take all.”
“Like that guard at the Tire Giant,” I said, “he could be a winner, right?”
Eddie shuddered and sipped imitation Coke.
“The guard was in the Basitch – their secret police,” he said, “but the rest of the Purple crowd isn’t pleasant, either. They’re like Nazis.”
“So, how can a flame ball team beat them?” I said.
“I know it sounds strange,” Eddie said, “but it’s how things work here. The side that wins the match will gain huge popular support. The losers will suffer total discouragement.”
I looked around the cafeteria. The Kintz had returned to their lunches and their conversations. Their musical, radio static voices filled the air. What kind of beings were they? Their whole civilization seemed like something out of a bad movie.
I’d been an idiot to come to this Whack-O Land!
“Their team is tougher than ours,” Eddie said. “We think they’re junked up on some kind of drug. Before we’d agree to the match, they had to allow us to recruit another human player.”
He took another sip of Coke stuff.
“I’m really no great shakes at this game,” he said. “They probably thought our new guy would be no better.”
