by KJ Dahlen
Thirty minutes later Jackal, Razor, Beast and three other brothers met Silas, George and a couple of other street people in the woods outside the fence of the compound.
They had Shelly with them and she was a mess. She kept her head down and refused to look at anyone.
Razor broke away from the group and walked over to where she was being helped to stay standing. “Shelly.” He whispered. Waiting for her to look at him he saw tears dripping from her face. The sight of her tears broke his heart. “Please baby, look at me,” he begged softly.
She slowly raised her head and stared at him.
He winced at the sight of her bruises. When she saw him flinch, she looked away.
Razor stepped closer and reached out to touch her gently. “Oh baby, I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you.” Running his fingers over her cheek he said, “I love you so much.”
Shelly raised her eyes to stare at him. “How can you love me now?” she wanted to know.
Razor smiled with tears in his eyes. “I’ll love you for the rest of my life. You’re my woman.”
Shelly just stared at him for a moment.
Razor leaned forward touching his forehead to hers, “You were my woman yesterday, you’re my woman today and you’ll still be my woman tomorrow.”
“Are you sure?” she asked.
Razor smiled softly. “Oh yeah, baby I love you, don’t you know that?”
Shelly smiled. Razor went to put his arms around her and Shelly froze. So far, he hadn’t touched her except forehead to forehead, but when he tried to pull her into a hug it was too confining.
Razor slowly pulled back and stepped away but he didn’t go far.
Tears rolled down Shelly’s cheeks when she saw the hurt and concern on his face and in his eyes.
“Come on sweetheart, let’s get you back home,” he said to her. “We can’t stay out in the woods all night.”
The two groups separated and each went their own way.
No one touched Shelly but Razor assisted her all the way back to the compound. Razor was never far, he stayed right with her.
When they got back to the compound Doc, Maggie and Noelle were waiting.
Doc took one look at the girl and suggested a shower. “Maggie, can you and Noelle help her with that?” Doc suggested softly.
“Sure Doc.” Maggie smiled. Looking over at Noelle, she frowned at the stunned expression on her face. Maggie motioned for Noelle to follow them and soon the women were gone.
Razor stepped up to Doc, “Doc, she won’t let me near her. She flinches every time I try.”
Doc shook his head. “Well, of course she does, you idiot. She’s just spent four days with men who hurt her. Now I don’t know for sure until after I examine her but it looks like they hurt her in a way no woman should ever be hurt. She’s bound to be a little skittish at first. You’re a big guy, stronger than she’ll ever be and right now, she’s still a prisoner. In her own mind, she’s still back in that warehouse. You got to give her time to realize you aren’t gonna hurt her the way they did.”
Jackal asked,. “Why did you send Noelle with Maggie? Maggie could have helped her alone.”
Doc looked down the hall the women just went down, then he looked back at Jackal and the few men standing around. Shrugging he said, “I have a feeling Noelle has been in Shelly’s shoes and sometimes it helps to connect one on one with someone who has been there, done that.”
Jackal frowned, as Doc’s words didn’t make any sense to him. He knew for a fact that Noelle had never been attacked before, not in that way. Then he got what Doc was talking about. They both did share one common factor.
He sent his men off to get some rest.
Razor, Doc Thor and he were the only ones waiting for the women to return.
Maggie helped Shelly undress.
Noelle stood in the corner of the bathroom. Her arms were around her belly as she watched.
Shelly was crying and Maggie was talking quietly to her. Shelly just stood under the spray of water and sobbed. She didn’t seem to have any strength left and allowed Maggie to bath her wounds and wash her hair.
When Maggie shut the water off, Noelle snapped out of her funk and grabbed a couple towels then walked back to them. Silently handing them to Maggie, she took one of them and began patting Shelly’s back.
Listening to the other woman’s sobs, she made up her mind to share something with them. She wanted to let Shelly know she wasn’t as alone as she thought she was right now. She needed the other woman to know she knew where she was coming from. “I know this isn’t the same thing here, as I have never been attacked sexually, and I may be talking out of my ass here, but I’ve been where you are right now.” Her words were soft and caring.
Both of the other women paused and listened.
Noelle continued, “I remember the first time Dane hurt me. It was the day I came home from the hospital after being shot in the belly. My parents had just been killed in a home invasion about three weeks prior. Three masked men broke into our house when we were sleeping. They dragged us from our beds and into the living room. Two of them held me while the third put a gun to my mom’s head and shot her. He moved to my dad and said something I didn’t understand at the time, He told my dad this was what he got for betraying his family. My dad looked at me and said I love you baby. Then he was shot too. The gunman turned to me next and put a bullet in my belly.”
“What happened then?” Shelly whispered.
“They left me there, on the floor and bleeding those three men just turned around and walked out of the house. I laid there for a day and a half before anyone found us. Then I spent three weeks in the hospital.” Noelle paused and her eyes glazed over. “Then my own sort of hell began. I have a half-brother, Dane. We share a father. I call him my step brother because he reminds me of Cinderella’s nasty step sisters. Dane is not a good man, at all. I was afraid of him for good reason.”
“What’s all this got to do with what happened to me?” Shelly asked.
“Somebody bigger and stronger than you hurt you. Just like Dane hurt me but so much worse. Now one of the lessons my dad taught me as a child was never let the other man win. At the time, he was talking about bullies but this lesson really applies to everything and everyone who hurts you.”
“What do you mean?” Shelly stared at her.
“Dane would beat me up for no reason at all. I was a kid when I went to live with him. He hated me. I never knew why then but I think I figured it out over the years.” She lifted her head and looked at both women with tears in her eyes. “You see I’m not supposed to be here. Our father wasn’t supposed to find his own happiness in the arms of another woman. He was supposed to stay with his cold wife and horrible son. But he didn’t do what he was supposed to do. Instead, he went out, found my mom and had another life with her. Then they had me. Dane’s mom had money and power of her own but my dad was strong and he survived her trying to ruin him. After they were gone, I had to live with Dane and he loved to hurt me. He would lock me in my room for days with no food, or no water. He said he was teaching me my place in life. Then I turned seventeen and one night after a bad beating, I heard my father’s voice telling me to fight back. Take back the power Dane had over me, the power I had given him by fearing what he was doing to me. I needed to take it back and use it against Dane. I knew it wouldn’t be easy but he told me that’s what I had to do or I would be caught under Dane’s thumb for the rest of my life. He told me I was strong when I wanted to be and he wanted me to be strong now.”
Noelle paused to take a breath as she re-lived her pain. “Oh god, it was so hard for me, I was so scared Dane would kill me if I resisted his control. But the more I thought about my father’s words the more they made sense. My dad taught me to stand tall and proud. I was his daughter after all. I could let Dane crush me under his size eleven boot or I could take back the power he had over me and live my life. I took baby steps and a lot of beatings but I finally got there. I stood up
to Dane. When I showed him I wasn’t afraid of him anymore, he was pissed but he couldn’t do anything about it. He and I both knew it.” She shook her head. “I thought we were getting over it when he sent me to deliver a package to a man down here. Dane told me it would be the last thing he ever asked me to do for him.” She scoffed. “It was literally the last thing he would ask of me because he fully expected Venom to kill me.”
“But this is something entirely different,” Shelly said.
Noelle knelt down beside the other woman. Holding her hands, she shook her head. “Yes in a way it’s different and in another way, it’s not. When they took you, you were afraid. They kept you for four days and each and every moment you were with them, they took a small piece of your soul. They thrived on you fear and in your pain. It fed a certain part of their empty soul. They tried to break you but you held on, you survived and honey, as much as you hate it right now, you can come back.”
“How?” Shelly cried out. “How can I come back from this? How can Razor ever love me again? He’ll always wonder if I enjoyed the other men.”
“Bullshit!” Maggie and Noelle both said at the same time.
Maggie spoke softly, “How can any woman enjoy that!” Lifting both hands, she cradled her bruised and swollen face. Looking into the other woman’s eyes she whispered, “This isn’t going to be easy, not for you and not for Razor. But it can be done. What those men did to you should never have happened but sadly it did.”
“Are you going to tell me to just get over it?” Shelly was getting mad.
“No sweetheart, we aren’t not going to tell you that,” Noelle assured her. “Some women never get over something like that. Some men don’t either.” She paused then asked, “Do you still love Razor?”
Shelly nodded.
“And does he still love you?”
“He said he did.” Shelly nodded.
“Well, that’s a place to start.” Noelle shrugged. “Start there and rebuild your relationship. Take back the power those men took from you. Let Razor be your guide for this journey. If you want him bad enough, you can find a way.”
Shelly thought about it for a long moment before she looked over at Maggie. “What do you think?”
Maggie had tears in her eyes. “She might be on to something here. But it isn’t going to happen overnight. It might be a long time before you can trust a man again. Are you ready for that?”
Shelly nodded. “Razor said he loved me. I have to believe in that. He is my whole world and I want what we shared, I want that back.”
Noelle smiled. “Then at least you have a chance to get it back. Fight for it. Don’t let them win. There will be times when you fall back and your fear takes over. You’ll have nightmares that never seem to go away but if you stick with it, you can let it all go and get your life back. The biggest part of all of this is facing your worst nightmare and letting it go.”
Shelly gripped Noelle’s hands tightly. “I’m scared.”
“Scared beats terrified any day of the week.” Noelle stared at her. “You might need counseling, both you and Razor but together, you can do this. Question is... do you want it bad enough to try?”
Shelly looked at both her and Maggie and this time she could meet their eyes without fear. “I do want to try. I love Razor and I want him back.”
“Then you need to tell him that.” Maggie nodded.
Noelle got to her feet. “Ok I’ll give you guys a moment. I’ll go tell the guys you’ll be along.”
Shelly reached out and took her hand. “Thank you for sharing. I was in a painful situation. You helped give me the courage I needed to find right now.”
“Most people would have thought I was crazy to admit my father spoke to me years after he died. But I know sure as I’m standing here, it was his voice I heard that night. His voice was telling me to take back my power I had given Dane and that’s what you have to do too. You have to take back the power those men stole from you.”
Shelly smiled. “I will.”
Noelle turned and walked to the door. Making her way to the main room, she saw Jackal, Razor and Doc still waiting there.
Razor got to his feet and walked toward her. He took hold of her arms and demanded, “How is she doing? Is she going to be ok?”
“Well, she’s a mess right now but if you treat her right, I think she’ll be ok.” Noelle knew better than to try and break his hold but as he spoke his fingers bit into her arms.
“Let her go Razor,” Jackal demanded with a growl. He got to his feet and would have rushed over to where they were standing but Doc held him back.
Noelle looked up into the other man’s face. She saw the concern for Shelly there but she saw something else too. “Please let me go,” she asked in a low voice.
When Razor released her, she didn’t rub her arms instead she looked at him. “You have to decide if you want Shelly in your life anymore. What happened to her was not her fault. She didn’t ask to be taken and she didn’t ask to be attacked.”
“She wasn’t attacked,” Razor snarled. “Let’s call it what it is, those slimy bastards raped her.”
“Yes, they did.” Noelle said confidently. “Do you know what that means?”
Razor frowned. “Of course I do.”
“Do you really know what that means? To a woman?” she asked. “It means you have no power to say anything. You can scream “no” at the top of your lungs and the man pressing you down ignores it. He pushes himself inside you anyway. You don’t have a choice in what happens next. You are taken against your will.” She held his eyes. “Can you live with that? Cuz some women can’t. Some men can’t either. They choose to think maybe their women wanted it to happen, maybe they encouraged it to happen, that maybe they even enjoyed it.”
“Stop it!” Razor shouted. “Shelly would never do those things.”
“You’re right, she wouldn’t. She loves you too much to do anything to hurt you like that.” Noelle nodded. “She’s more worried how you will react than about what they put her through. She’s going to need your help, your understanding to get through this. You have to decide how much you love her before you see her again.”
“Will I get her back?”
“Not the way she was before,” she warned him. “She’s still the same warm loving woman she was, but life as she knew it has changed for her and you need to know that too. You will both have to adjust. There will be times when she just wants to cry and times when she won’t be able to handle your touch. There will be times when her nightmares take over and nothing you do will bring her out of it. Are you willing to go through all of that and more to be with her?”
“If I have to... yes.” He glared at her.
“Then you guys might just make it after all.” Noelle sidestepped him and went over to the table and sat down.
Jackal reached over, wrapped his arms around her and hauled her over to his lap.
No one said a word and after a moment or so, they all heard the door open down the hall. Moments later Maggie and Shelly entered the room.
Maggie assisted Shelly to a table as Doc and Razor walked over to her. Doc knelt down to her level and began asking questions in a low voice. Razor sat down beside her and reached out to hold her hand. He didn’t interrupt but just held her hand.
Maggie went over to her husband Thor as he wrapped his arm around her and just held her.
It was gonna be a long night.
Chapter Nine
Just before the dawn broke, Jackal got a phone call. It was Pappy. His backup was here. Jackal sent his VP and his road captain out to meet them and bring them in the back way.
His men were waiting for them when they got back to the compound. He had them on a roving patrol, ensuring no one got in that wasn’t supposed to be there.
When Pappy and the others arrived, they filed in the main room.
Taking a chair wherever one was empty, Jackal, Beast, Pappy and Dewey sat at the main table.
Noelle was in Jackal’s lap,
he loved holding his woman, but when the others got there, she tried to move away but Jackal wouldn’t let her go.
“So what’s going on since we last spoke?” Pappy wanted to know.
“Venom came here bold as brass after busting through our gates and demanded that we work for him for one per cent of the profit he made.” Jackal snarled. “He said if we weren’t willing to do what he demanded, he would take us out, the same way the old MC was taken out and then he would replace us with an MC that would work with him. He told us flat out that he would kill not only the brothers but their wives and kids too. ” He paused then added, “He gave us three days to consider his offer.”
“The fuck is he crazy?” Pappy growled as he glared at every man in the room.
Their eyes reflected his fury.
“Then we find out he snatched one of our women and was holding her for the last four days,” Jackal informed him. “He thought if we weren’t willing to work with him, he’d force the issue by getting one of us to betray the others. Except the man the woman belonged to, told us what happened and we were able to get her back. I’m sure by now, they know she’s gone.”
“Who’s the sweetheart you’re not letting go of?” Pappy smiled glancing at Noelle.
“Her name is Noelle Stark. She’s the reason we know as much as we do,” Jackal explained. “Her brother sent her here with a payment for Venom, only instead of money it was cut up newspaper. Venom damn near killed her and threw her away like garbage. I found her in a ditch a couple days ago and now, she’s my woman.”
“Does Venom know she’s here?” Dewey asked.
“No clue but he came here looking for her. He’s turning every stone over in Baton Rouge looking for her, so he must know she isn’t where he threw her away.”
“What do you know about the MC waiting in the wings?” Pappy asked.
“They are the Devil’s Own, MC.”
“Fuckin hell,” Pappy swore.
Dewey shook his head looking disgusted.
“We also found out that the leader of the Devil’s Own is Harvey Norris,” Jackal went on. “Harvey Norris happens to the brother of the dead leader of the Dogs of Hell. Good ole George. Blane took them out after they killed his wife and daughter. He went to the police and Harvey took him out to the swamps and left him there. Blane became gator food.”
