by Jenny Oliver
‘I think that’s actually us,’ said Charlie, correcting him. ‘Millennials are the boomerang generation.’
‘But you don’t live at home?’ said Pandora, puzzled.
‘No, Pandora, because it’s not the law,’ Amber said. She turned to Julia, despairing. ‘Look at what I have to put up with. And do you know, I was actually worried we might be lonely out here.’
Julia shook her head. ‘No, I think it’s fantastic. Maybe we’ll move in, too.’
Charlie looked quite taken with the idea. ‘Or at least up the road, we passed some good-looking land on the way in.’
Lovejoy raised a glass. ‘Do it. The more the merrier,’ he said. ‘You could buy that land there…’ he indicated towards the wild scrub at the end of their garden.
Charlie gave Julia a nudge. ‘Maybe we should.’
‘Maybe.’ Julia tipped her head, not completely against the idea. As she took a sip of her wine, a little white dog trotted out and sat at Billy’s bare feet. ‘Who’s this?’ Julia asked.
‘Alfonso,’ said Billy, leaning down to hoic the dog up onto his lap.
Amber said, ‘Ned’s dog,’ with a knowing raise of her brow.
‘Oh.’ Julia was intrigued. ‘How is Ned?’
‘Ask Billy,’ Amber replied. ‘He went to Canada for Christmas. Billy, how was Canada?’ Amber gave him a nudge.
Billy shrugged, scratching the dog’s ears. ‘Alright. Bit boring. And the baby cried all the time!’ he added with clear exasperation.
Beside him Amber looked smug. Then she leant forward and raised her glass. ‘Well isn’t this lovely. Everyone here. I would like to make a toast to the lovely developer who bought my house so I could buy the Hotel Croissant!’
‘Hear, hear!’ agreed Lovejoy.
Pandora leaned in and, with a sweep of her hair, said, ‘I’d like to make a toast to Martin getting on Shipwrecked.’
‘Oh good one,’ said Martin, grinning, ‘Cheers to that!’
‘Once you’re on one reality show you can be on them all,’ Pandora added with absolute certainty.
Billy yawned again, rubbing his hand over his face to try and wake himself up. ‘I think we should toast to that Olga woman for making you lose your job.’
Amber made a face. ‘I wouldn’t go that far. Let’s just stick with the developer and the hotel.’
Everyone reached their glasses forward and clinked. ‘To Hotel Croissant.’
They sat for a while, enjoying the sunshine, the calm hum of the bees and the stillness of the garden. Then Lovejoy finished his beer and said, ‘Right then, who’s ready for a dip in the pool?’
‘Oh me, me!’ Pandora jumped up.
‘Don’t you have rooms to do?’ Amber asked.
Pandora rolled her eyes, ‘Really?’
‘Yes, really!’ said Amber emphatic.
Billy stood up with a yawn. ‘I’ll help you.’
Pandora beamed. ‘Oh thanks, Billy.’ And they trotted off together, the white dog in tow.
Lovejoy strode over to the plunge pool, yanking his T-shirt off over his head. ‘I am sweltering. You coming, Charlie?’
Charlie downed the rest of his beer and followed suit. Pulling off his green T-shirt, his shorts doubling as swimming trunks. Clearly relaxed in this company, Julia noticed. No hot tub-esque tantrums.
Martin stood up and said, ‘Me too, I need to work on my tan, no one wants to be the pasty one on Shipwrecked.’
Julia looked at Amber. ‘You getting in?’
‘Christ no, I’m quite happy sitting here,’ she said, head tipped back, all glossy dark hair, eyes closed absorbing the sun.
So they sat side by side, sipping chilled white wine, bees buzzing in the lavender, the guys joking in the pool, through the upstairs window came the sound of Pandora singing out-of-tune as she made the beds and Billy correcting her when she got the words wrong.
Amber rolled her head to look at Julia, opening one eye, she said, ‘We should probably make a toast to Lexi Warrington.’
Julia made a face. ‘Why?’
‘Well,’ said Amber, sitting up a bit straighter, ‘without her posting the messages you sent, you wouldn’t have come to France, we wouldn’t have gone to get Billy, you and Charlie wouldn’t have, me and Lovejoy wouldn’t have, yadda, yadda, yadda.’
Julia thought about it. ‘I’m not sure I want to toast Lexi.’
‘No,’ Amber shook her head, ‘me neither.’ Then she said, ‘You could toast me then, instead.’
Julia laughed. ‘OK. To Amber,’ she said, lifting her glass, ‘without whom I wouldn’t have gone to France.’
Amber clinked her glass, and took a sip, then settled back down.
Julia frowned. ‘Aren’t you going to toast me?’
‘No.’
‘Oh.’
‘Just kidding.’ Amber grinned. Then she sat up and, raising her glass aloft, the azure water of the plunge pool glinting in the sunlight, the air filled with the sound of everyone enjoying themselves, the wine crisp, the sun warming their skin, said, ‘To my good friend Julia. I’m very glad you chose me to run away with.’
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The House We called Home
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Chapter 1
She stood at the cliff edge looking out at the rolling summer surf. The house towering behind her, solid grey stone and slate, bursting pink rhododendrons, white garden furniture that needed a paint. The image, like closing your eyes after glancing at the sun, almost indelible on her retina, beams of light dancing in the dark.
Out ahead, mountains of cloud hovered on the horizon, a windsurfer made painful progress in the non-existent breeze while paddleboarders cruised on water that glistened like a million jumping fish.
Moira balled up her fists. Tight so she could feel her nails in her palms. If she could she would have rattled them like a child throwing a tantrum. If she could she would have screwed her eyes shut and stamped her foot and shouted down at the bloody picture-perfect view, ‘Graham Whitethorn, you goddamn pain in the arse.’
But she couldn’t. Because from inside the hoody of the teenage boy standing beside her she could just glimpse big worried eyes, and see the wipe of snot on his frayed baggy cuffs.
So, instead she took a deep invigorating breath of salty sea air, pushed her hair from her face, and said, ‘Come on then, Sonny. Let’s make some breakfast and call your mother. Tell her what silly old Grandpa’s done.’
They turned back towards the house. The beautiful house. The image on her retina fitting the outline exactly.
Chapter 2
‘What do you mean he’s gone missing?’ Stella frowned into her phone, then almost without thinking pointed out of the car window and said to her seven-year-old, ‘Look, Rosie – Stonehenge.’
‘Missing…?’ Jack, her husband, mouthed from the driver’s seat.
Stella made a face, unsure.
Behind her, little Rosie had no interest in Stonehenge, deeply imbedded in YouTube on the iPad, happily powering through their 4G data with her gem-studded headphones on. Usually Stella would have clicked her fingers to get Rosie’s attention and pointed out of the window again to make sure she didn’t miss the view, but the phone call from her mother trumped any tourist attraction. ‘I don’t understand, Mum,’ Stella said. ‘How can Dad be missing? Where is he?’
Jack was frowning. Traffic was backing up from the roundabout up ahead.
‘Well darling, that’s what we don’t know,’ said her mother, her voice tinny over the phone.
Stella felt strangely out of control. Thoughts popped into her head that she wouldn’t have expected.
She and her father did not get along well. They barely talked. Hadn’t for years. Past anger had morphed into silence, and silence into habit – the threads tethered firmly in place, calcifying solid with stubbornness a
nd age. Yet as her mother spoke, Stella found herself overcome by unfamiliar emotion. She worried suddenly that she might start to cry. God that would be embarrassing. Jack would probably crash the car in shock.
‘How long has he been missing?’ Stella asked, turning towards the window, eyes wide to dry the possible threat of tears.
‘Since yesterday,’ said her mother. ‘Although I’m not altogether sure what time he left because we were at Sainsbury’s.’
‘Since yesterday?’ Stella said, shocked. ‘Why didn’t you call before?’
‘Well, I knew you had a long drive today and I wanted you to get a good night’s sleep. And I thought it might be a good idea to give him a chance to come back without worrying everyone.’
This seemed very odd behaviour from her mother, who had never been the kind of person to suffer in silence.
‘So you’ve been worrying on your own?’
There was a brief silence at the other end of the phone.
‘Mum, are you OK?’
‘Yes darling, I’m fine,’ her mother said. And she sounded fine. Too fine. Almost drunk. Stella would have anticipated much more drama. A little more sobbing and neediness when actually she wondered if that was the kettle she could hear being flicked on in the background.
Stella frowned. ‘Is it something to do with Sonny? Is that why he’s left? Has Sonny been a pain?’
‘Not at all. Your father and Sonny have got on very well actually. I only told Sonny he’d gone this morning too – teenagers need their sleep, don’t they?’
Stella scrunched her eyes tight. The idea of her son and her father getting on well was too much at this point.
‘And have you rung Dad?’ Stella asked.
‘Yes. Straight to answerphone. He’s left a little note telling us not to worry.’
Stella pressed her hand to her forehead. She was really tired. They had left at five to avoid the weekend holiday traffic down to the Cornish coast but had stopped once already for Rosie to be sick in a Starbucks cup after secretly shovelling all the sweets meant for the five-hour journey into her mouth in the first twenty minutes. ‘Look, Daddy – a whole Haribo bear,’ she’d said, quite gleeful. The traffic report on the radio suggested that this current tailback was because a caravan had jack-knifed further up the A303. ‘What does the note say?’
‘Just that he’s gone away for a bit.’
‘But where?’
‘To be honest darling, I haven’t the foggiest.’
Something really wasn’t right in her mother’s reaction.
‘Mum, is there something you’re not telling me?’ Stella said, glancing across at Jack who was doing all sorts of faces back at her trying to get the gist of what was going on.
‘No darling, nothing.’
Stella nodded, wary. Disliking the feeling of uncertainty that had settled over her. ‘OK, well we’ll be at yours in about three hours I reckon.’
‘Don’t drive too fast,’ said her mother.
‘Unlikely with this traffic,’ Stella said, then added a goodbye.
When she hung up the phone Jack said, ‘Where’s your dad gone?’
Stella shook her head, chucking her phone into her bag. ‘She doesn’t know.’
Jack half-laughed. ‘That’s absurd. He doesn’t go anywhere.’
Stella held her hands wide. ‘Apparently he does.’
Jack looked like he was about to say something else but was cut off by the car behind beeping when Jack didn’t immediately move forward to fill the gap as the traffic rolled forward a car’s length.
‘I knew we should have taken the M4 route,’ he muttered.
Stella shook her head, incredulous. It had been her suggestion that they take the A303 and she couldn’t believe he hadn’t held in that comment in light of the whole missing-dad fiasco.
They drove on in silence for a while, the car warming up as their dodgy air conditioning failed to compete with the rising sun.
She and Jack had already had a row after she’d admitted being a bit nervous about seeing Sonny.
The reason they were currently driving down to Cornwall was to pick up their thirteen-year-old son, who, at the end of her tether, Stella had sent to stay with her parents for a fortnight.
Jack had sighed and replied, quite haughtily in Stella’s opinion, ‘Well, it should never have got this far in the first place! We should have dealt with it at home.’
‘You can keep saying that, Jack, but you weren’t there. You’re never there to see what a pain he is. You waltz in the door at seven thirty when it’s practically bedtime anyway.’
‘I do not waltz in the door.’
Stella had wanted to say that he very much did waltz in the door, but they’d been over this a thousand times already. That was how her and Jack’s relationship had been for the last few weeks. She’d tried countless times to explain to him the unrelenting frustration of every night trying to force their thirteen-year-old to get off his phone and do his homework, Stella’s own deadlines pressing down on her, stress mounting. Until the evening that Sonny had sworn he was doing his physics project but was just hiding his phone behind half a papier-mâché Vesuvius. Furious, Stella had whipped the phone off him, deleted the game he was playing and every other one and changed the password to her iTunes account so he couldn’t download anything else.
‘You stupid bitch!’ Sonny had shouted at her and then he’d looked immediately at the floor, his face rigid.
‘I beg your pardon?’
Silence.
‘Apologise. Now!’ Stella said, hands on her hips, eyes wide.
Still silence.
Time hung paused in the air.
‘Apologise.’ Nothing.
She could feel her heart rate rising. ‘If you don’t apologise, Sonny, by the time I count to three—’ The words came out of her mouth almost on instinct. As if she was so tired and stressed her brain had resorted to a time when she was guaranteed control. To when Sonny was a little kid and more than happy to apologise if it meant he’d get to keep his chocolate buttons.
Right now, Stella had no idea what she would do when she got to three. She should have used the deleting of the apps as bait but such strategy was easy in hindsight, all she could do now was start counting. ‘One.’
Sonny’s eyes stayed fixed on the ground.
Please just say sorry.
‘Two.’
His jaw clenched.
Stella took a breath in through her nose. She contemplated ‘two and a half’ but knew she was putting it off for her own benefit.
‘Three,’ she said.
Sonny looked up, stared her straight in the eye. Then the corner of his lip turned up in the smallest hint of a smirk, his expression saying, ‘What you gonna do now, Mum?’
For the first time ever, Stella had felt the urge to slap him round the face. She hadn’t. But it had crossed her mind that in that moment she didn’t like her son one bit. Nor did she know what to do with him. So she had walked away, hands raised in the air, and said, ‘Do you know what, I don’t need this.’ A flash of her own childhood had popped into her head. She imagined what would have happened if she’d looked at her father the way Sonny had just looked at her. It was unthinkable. The thought made her pause and turn, look at Sonny still grinning smugly down at the carpet, and say, ‘You can go to Cornwall. See what a few weeks with Granny and Grandpa does.’ Her father had certainly never taken any crap from her growing up.
So here they were, driving down to Cornwall a fortnight later to pick up Sonny. The morning sun was shimmering like dust in the air, tension thrumming through the car.
Stella glanced across at Jack’s profile. His eyes were fixed on the crawling traffic ahead. She hated that he’d cut her down when she’d mentioned feeling nervous about seeing their son because Jack was who she talked to. He was the person who made her feel better, who helped her think straight. Her wingman.
They didn’t usually fight over things like this, Jack usually took her lead on
parenting. But they seemed so busy at the moment, both of them distracted with work, the kids being particularly kid-like, and with the start of the summer holidays they hadn’t had a proper chance to talk it all through. She had thought maybe they might on this five-hour journey, but now it all seemed rather overshadowed by the sudden and strange disappearance of her father.
Stella stared out of the window, repeating the fact over in her head, ‘Dad’s missing.’ But it wouldn’t really lodge properly in her brain, like a moth on a light bulb fruitlessly knock, knock, knocking to get inside. She didn’t want to acknowledge it – there were too many questions to know where to begin.
The traffic started moving again.
Stella felt completely off-kilter. She got her phone out to try and distract herself but immediately remembered the emails on there about a looming work deadline that she couldn’t bring herself to open. Work felt like another life. If she thought too much about it she could sense her normal balance of organised chaos teetering precariously into overwhelming. She stared at her phone. The screensaver was a picture of Rosie and Sonny posing over giant milkshakes piled high with whipped cream and a load of Cadbury’s flakes and Oreos shoved in the top – an after-school treat on Rosie’s birthday. It had all gone a bit pear-shaped after the photo was snapped because Sonny had accidentally on purpose nudged Rosie’s face into the cream, but it was rare to get a picture of the two of them smiling for the camera. Stella clicked the phone off and put it back in her bag. It scared her that she didn’t know if she wanted to see her own son. She had a vision of him at her parents’ house, would he even come down to greet them? Then she thought of the empty sofa cushion where her dad always sat and felt herself go a bit dizzy. Like her brain couldn’t hold all this stress. She pressed her palms to her temples.
‘You OK?’ Jack asked, glancing Stella’s way.
‘I’m not sure.’ Stella took some deep, calming breaths.
Jack frowned. Stella was always sure.
‘Are you going to be sick?’ he asked, panic in his voice. ‘Do you need a cup?’
She had to laugh. ‘No, I don’t need a cup.’