by Silva Hart
I had no idea this is what she was thinking. She’s been exclusive to me? Does this change how I feel about her? I don’t know. It definitely gives me something to think about.
A throat clears in the doorway. I didn’t even hear the door open. Seeing Jocelyn silhouetted, Lexi steps away from me.
Chapter 23
“Dinner’s ready,” Jocelyn says, eyeing me as if I’m the meal before turning and walking away.
How long was she standing there? How much did she overhear? I can only imagine Lexi is wondering the same things.
We sit at the long, carved teak table lined with white taper candles in gold candelabras. A massive matching glass case on one wall displays elegant china and glassware. A crystal chandelier glitters off the subtle gold scrollwork in the cream wallpaper. An enormous burgundy and cream Oriental rug lies underfoot.
Jocelyn and Dan sit at either end, and Lexi and I are seated across from each other in the middle. There are like a bazillion forks and spoons on either side of my plate. The guy, who I think of as their butler, places a steaming bowl of soup in front of me before moving to the others with his tray. I watch which spoon Lexi picks up and follow.
The soup is amazing. I couldn’t begin to guess what’s in it, but it’s a unique combination of rich and light.
“So where do you train?” Dan asks me.
“One-Eyed Mike’s.”
Dan raises his eyebrows. “I’ve been by there. That’s a tough looking place. You have to be a serious badass to go in there.”
I’m grateful for my poker face because hearing this old guy try to talk on what he thinks is my level is too damn funny.
“Daddy,” Lexi pleads.
“The guys are alright,” I say.
“You think they’d welcome me in?” He says this in such a way that I can’t tell if he’s joking or not. After a beat, he waves my silence away with his hand. “Ah, it’s not like I have time for that sort of thing. It’s great that you do though, slugger.”
Jocelyn stays quiet as she sips her wine. Her eyes travel from me to Dan and back again like a cat watching two bugs crawling around in front of it. She casually swings her bent arm so that the empty glass is beside her. The butler appears and refills it.
The bowls are whisked away and a salad with wild greens, fruit, and nuts is delivered. It’s not like any salad I’ve ever seen before. Who the hell puts fruit in a salad? Again, I have to see which fork Lexi chooses.
“So, you actually fight in matches?” Dan asks.
I nod, unsure what he’s getting at. That’s kind of what the whole point of boxing is, isn’t it?
“Can we come watch?”
Oh, that’s what he means. I try to picture this hoity-toity billionaire couple standing in the musty, dripping basement surrounded by gangsters, thugs, and disreputable women. “It’s more of a gambling thing.”
“Oh,” he says, sounding surprised.
“It’s not exactly what you see on TV.”
He takes a sip of beer, studying me as if he can’t figure me out. A smile plays at Jocelyn’s lips.
A plate of some kind of fish, potatoes with something green sprinkled on them, and asparagus gets set before me. It smells fantastic. I dig in.
“You ever thought about going legit?” Dan can’t seem to let up with the interrogation.
His question chafes me, but the food is so good that I take enduring his conversation as appropriate payment for the most amazing meal I’ve ever had in my life. Lexi saves me by jumping in with bubbly stories about the cheerleading squad and her latest overnight trip, until the crème brûlée is cleared away.
When it’s all over, Lexi drags me back onto the patio. She presses a button and the tiki lamps flare and the firepit erupts into flame. I swear the chill October air warms by ten degrees. She pushes me back into a heated, chaise lounge and straddles me with her back to me. The blue dress pools around her, draping over my lap.
“I love watching the lights on the water,” she sighs. The silky, golden hair that cascades down her back obscures my view, but I’m not complaining.
Her parents emerge from the house with drinks in hand. Lexi makes no moves to get off me. Dan takes a seat by the fire, and Jocelyn leans back in the chaise next to us. He drones on about some new chain restaurant he’s gotten Moores beer into. She gives encouraging replies. After what seems like an hour, Dan stands and stretches and says some dad-thing about “forty winks.” Jocelyn hangs on a little longer.
Finally standing, Jocelyn says, “You kids be good.”
“Oh, thank God,” Lexi exhales. “Want to go for a swim?”
“I don’t have a suit.”
“That’s okay. We have suits for guests in the bathhouse.”
We change and dive into the pool. The warm water is downright tropical. Lexi splashes me, laughing. I dunk her. She comes up and splashes me some more before wrapping her smooth legs around my torso and kissing me. Entwined in each other’s arms, we float lazily around the pool, lounging, making out, and gazing up at the stars.
I never in a million years thought a kid like me would wind up in a place like this with a girl like Lexi. I have to keep reminding myself that it’s only temporary. It has to be. I have nothing to offer her. She’ll realize this soon enough.
At school on Monday, Anna isn’t in homeroom. Is she at the dugout? I still don’t have her phone number so can’t contact her. What’s going on with her? She’s been so distant and down lately that I hope she didn’t do anything stupid.
Lexi falls in next to me outside of homeroom, but before she can say anything Carlton maneuvers in next to her other side. “Hey, Lexi.”
“Hey,” she says, her tone indifferent.
“You want to go to the movies tonight?”
Who does he think he is? Can’t he see she’s walking with me? What a dick. “She’s going with me,” I blurt.
Lexi’s blue eyes widen as she gazes up at me. Carlton’s face twists like he’s smelled something bad, but he maintains his impeccable manners. “Cool. I’ll see you around, Lexi.”
Seriously? He’s persisting right in front of me? My fists clench.
“So what are we seeing?” Lexi asks.
I regret my impulsive display. What made me think I had something to prove to Carlton anyway? I’m not in the mood to go to a movie tonight. I need to find out what happened to Anna. But then again, she’s still so obsessed with her ex that she’s probably taken the day to try yet again to patch things up with that pathetic loser.
I give my head a shake to clear it. I’m so sick of thinking about this whole thing so damn much. Maybe some mindless fun at a movie is exactly what I need. I chew on the inside of my cheek. “You pick.”
She grins and reaches up on tiptoes to give me a pink-glossed peck on the cheek, which I immediately wipe off, before giving my bicep another squeeze and heading into her class. The halls are empty, and I take a quick look outside without finding Anna. On my way to history (late again), I see Carlton and Grant down the hall so know she’s not spending the day with them. Hackenburg shoots me an exasperated look when I saunter in but continues his lecture without making an issue of it.
I shuffle through school the rest of the day without anything registering over my constant conflicting thoughts. Why do I keep thinking about Anna at all? I’m just asking to get hurt if I keep pursuing her. I need to be done with her once and for all.
If only it didn’t feel like she needs me. It’s hard to watch her constant misery consume her. She’s here but not here and growing dimmer with each passing day. It’s as if her sorrow is erasing her in front of me.
Lexi’s face flashes into my mind. How it always lights up every time she sees me, and what she said to me Saturday night about how much she wants me. If I told anyone, they’d call me a liar. Hell, I wouldn’t even believe me.
I feel like a weed growing in a lavish garden. No one wants a weed. Even if I commit to Lexi, I’ll ultimately be uprooted and cast aside. She’ll
become a doctor for Christ’s sake. I’ll keep getting my face mashed in for money. She’ll start rubbing elbows with all the other rich doctors, and I’ll be forgotten or, worse, become an embarrassment to her.
No one’s ever loved me. Is it something I’ll ever experience? I don’t know. But if I do, I’ll make damn sure it’s the real thing that will last and not some spoiled rich girl’s or anyone else’s infatuation. She says she’ll wait for me. She can keep on waiting until her next whim comes along.
Lexi’s bound to move on. But Anna, she’s different. She committed. I get that. But he cheated on her. So why is she still committed? Why can’t she move on? Then again, here I am thinking Lexi will inevitably move on from me and simultaneously wishing Anna would move on from her boyfriend when neither one seems to be budging.
Jesus H. Christ, I’m going insane. When did everything get so complicated? I need to find a way to turn my brain off. I wish I could punch it and knock it the hell out.
Chapter 24
The final bell rings, but I don’t get up. I cradle my face in my arms on the desk and listen as the squeak of chairs and trample of footsteps fade to silence. I don’t know how much time passes before the door shuts. Heels click across the tile toward me.
“Jett?” Mrs. Kroft says as she runs a hand over my shoulders and back. “You okay?”
I raise my head and bury my face in her soft stomach and wrap my arms around her waist before I even know what I’m doing. I need warmth. I need comfort. I need contact. She brushes her fingers through my hair and rubs both hands over my muscled back. It feels good. Soothing.
“What’s wrong? You want to talk?”
I don’t want to talk. Not to her anyway. And suddenly I understand exactly what Anna meant when she asked me to make her feel anything but what she was feeling. The relentless thought loops that have plagued me all day are starting to unhinge me. I need them to go away. For something, anything, to replace them.
Mrs. Kroft’s hands on my body tell me everything she wants me to know. She’s here for me. She wants me. So, sure, why not?
I turn to her and pull her forward onto my lap with her legs straddling me. Her eyes search mine for only a moment before she sends caution to detention and kisses me as if she’s been waiting for this moment and wants to draw it out as long as possible. When she finally lifts her swollen lips, she’s breathing heavily.
Out of the corner of my eye, I catch what looks like movement in the diamond-shaped window of the classroom door. Was someone watching us?
I open the door and step into the hallway. It’s empty except for the stooped, old janitor pushing his rolling trashcan down the hall. Was he watching us?
As I’m heading to the front doors, I wonder, now that I’ve made Mrs. Kroft’s fantasies come true, if she’ll act any different. Will I still receive the same hungry gazes? Or did I finally scratch her itch? Whichever way it goes, I’m never doing that again. If anything, it made me feel worse.
Rounding a corner, I almost run headlong into Carlton. He takes a step back, clearly as surprised to see me. We face off. His gaze travels to where the scar would be if he could see through my bangs.
“Hey, man,” he starts.
“Get out of my face,” I snarl. I’ve had a shitty day. A heart-to-heart with Carlton Galloway is the last thing I need. I want to punch him. God, how I want to. But we’re in the school, and I don’t need to get put in the slammer on top of everything else right now.
“Look, I didn’t know Grant was going to use a rock, okay?”
Right. He was so against it he held me in place for the blow.
“I don’t know what your deal is with Lexi, but she likes you. At least, that’s what she’s telling everyone.”
I haven’t heard anything, but I don’t exactly talk to people.
“She sees something in you.” He sweeps over my tattered sneakers, the jeans and white t-shirt I wear every day, and my worn leather jacket. His expression clearly conveys that he doesn’t understand what she sees. He continues, “I care about Lexi. A lot. If you’re just toying with her then I’m asking you to leave her alone. Walk away, okay?” He’s holding his hands up, palms out, practically pleading.
“It’s none of your business.” The desire to punch his perfect, white teeth down his throat so he has to wear dentures the rest of his life is nearly overpowering. I’m not sure how much longer I can restrain myself if he doesn’t get away from me.
He drops his hands and exhales exasperation, his fists balling at his sides. I am so ready for him. His eyes travel over me again, weighing my height and width. “You want money? How much? Name it. I’ll pay you.”
Spinning him, I slam him into the wall, my forearm pressing against his throat.
His eyes go wide. “Easy, Dixon,” he rasps. “We’re on school grounds.”
He’s right. I let him go, still seething that this elite pretty-boy thinks he can buy me like he does everything else? Why? Because I’m dirt poor?
“Fine,” he says. “Just stop cheating on her. That’s all I ask.”
As if he’s in a position to ask anything of me. He may be able to get everyone else to kowtow to him and his almighty dollars, but I’m not everyone. What the hell does he know anyway? Lexi and I have an understanding. At least that’s what she said in the pool house. But he doesn’t need to know that.
Without a backward glance, I leave school and walk to the Mustang. Lighting a cigarette, I inhale deeply, hoping the smoke will fill me and blot out everything that’s happened today.
My phone chimes a text.
Sexi Lexi: What time are you picking me up?
Shit. I’d forgotten all about that.
Me: When’s it start?
Sexi Lexi: 7:30
Me: 7:00
Sexi Lexi: I’ll be ready to go.
I have to smile. My seething rage at Carlton immediately loosens its grip. I get the little wordplay she likes to use. From what I’ve experienced, she’s pretty much always ready to go.
At the gym, Dair gets on the heavy bag next to the one I’m thrashing. “Hey, you meet Mia yet?”
“Nope.”
“Okay good.”
“Why don’t we get in the ring and you can show me what you’d do if my answer ever changes?”
“I’m down for that,” he grins.
And, damn, if he doesn’t land one on me inside of the first minute.
He jumps up and down, gleefully smacking his fists together. “There’s more where that came from Dixon if you don’t stay off my girl.”
“Speaking of girls, I have a date to get ready for.”
“Of course you do. Who is it this time?”
“Lexi, the one who knows Mia.”
“Mia going too?”
“Yes.”
His eyes widen.
“We take Mia on all our dates,” I deadpan.
He punches me in the shoulder. “Man, I thought you were serious for a minute.”
I get a shower and get ready with no time to spare. It’s five after seven when I pull up to the gilded gate. It slides open, and I drive to the door. Lexi doesn’t come out, so I park and stroll up the steps.
Before I can ring the bell, Lexi flings the door open and rushes out. She’s changed from the jeans she was wearing at school to a short, flowy dress in some soft t-shirt type of material. The baby-blue sets off her porcelain doll skin and features perfectly.
“We’re going to be late,” Lexi says, pulling me down the stairs. “We’ll be home after the movie,” she calls to her stepmom over her shoulder.
“Have fun,” Jocelyn says. I can feel her penetrating gaze on me as we get in the Mustang and pull away.
“Where are we going?” I ask.
“The Midtown.”
I drive in silence.
“Aren’t you curious to know what we’re seeing?”
“Not really.”
She lightly smacks my arm. “You’re impossible, Jett. We’re seeing The Pharaoh’s Fanta
sy.”
“That’s a movie?”
“Yes, silly. Brianna told me it’s totally hot.”
We pull into the parking lot and get tickets three minutes after the start time.
“Aren’t you going to ask me if I want popcorn or anything?” Lexi asks.
I barely keep from rolling my eyes. “Do you?”
“No.” She stands on tiptoe and whispers into my ear, “I do want to sit in the back row though.”
“Sure, why not?” I don’t really care. She picks the back corner and sits in the aisle so I have to step over her.
“I’m surprised how many people are here on a Monday night,” Lexi whispers. “That must mean the movie’s good.”
She’s right. Flickering light from the preview shows there’s at least twenty or thirty people in the place. The movie starts, and Lexi snuggles against me as I stifle a yawn. It looks like it’s one of those movies where a boy falls in love with a dying girl and fulfills her bucket list or some such shit like that. I hate movies like this.
I only get mildly interested when the girl wants the boy to “deflower” her as she calls it. As if on the director’s cue, Lexi crosses her leg, placing her ankle on her knee to create an open triangle, then takes my hand and guides it under her dress. She’s not wearing any underwear.
Chapter 25
Her hand moves to my waistband. I’m aware of the people all around us. The soft light of the movie reflects off the white perm of the woman in front of us. Her husband’s bald head shines next to her. A group of teens sit in front of them passing snacks back and forth. The protruding belly of the middle-aged man across the aisle is in profile. They all fade away in the touch of Lexi’s silky fingers.
