“What would he have put in there?”
“I don’t know. That’s why I want to look. Now, would you please bring me my sewing basket?”
“Fine.”
Jessivel used a seam ripper to snip the threads down the front of the bear, then put her fingers inside the stuffed animal and felt around.
“That’s gross!” Kayla said.
“It’s just a stuffed bear, Kayla.”
“Still gross. Anything in there?”
“I can’t see or feel anything.” She dug further, slipping her fingers into the bear’s arms and legs.
“Good, now sew it up so I can have it back.”
Jessivel did as asked, and when finished, called her mother to tell her the news.
“I’m not surprised. He, or someone, probably took out whatever was in there and did something with it.”
“Please tell me Dad didn’t do drugs.”
“He didn’t…not that I ever knew of anyway, but he did a lot of things I didn’t know about, so maybe he did.”
“Whatever was in there must have been important or valuable or something, don’t you think?”
“When it comes to your father, I don’t really know what to think. I gotta go, Jess. Talk to you later.”
Jessivel considered her and her mother’s conversation and what other secrets her father might have kept from them. Growing up, it never would have crossed her mind to ask her father detailed questions about himself. He was Dad. He was who he was. He traveled extensively in his job (or between families, she now knew), provided for them, treated them okay. Her only complaint was that while he was generous with his money, he was stingy with his time and attention. Still, there seemed to be no reason for her to ever raise serious questions about him.
After thinking about it, Jessivel couldn’t name any of her father’s friends, his hobbies, or even his favorite sports team. He had never talked about his life as a boy growing up, his schooling, his life in the military, or his earlier jobs. She had never considered that back in the day. Now, it made sense because he had another life…or lives. He couldn’t give out many details.
Jessivel hadn’t realized until now just how little she knew about her own father.
Chapter 43
When Paige called “the girls” to tell them what had happened with her mother, they offered to help with the arrangements and anything else she needed to do. While she appreciated their support, as with most things in her life, she felt more comfortable doing everything herself. Still trying to prove herself to her father? Perhaps.
Paige had asked her doctor to prescribe an anti-anxiety medication to get her through the next several days, even at the risk of falling into the same trap as her sister who believed there was a chemical solution to every problem. As she sat down to do the necessary tasks associated with her mother’s death, she was glad to have the meds in her system.
She made a list of her mother’s friends, acquaintances, and relatives and began making calls. Midway through the list, she thought of Leland and called him, remembering how upset he had been when she had failed to tell him about her father’s death.
“Would you like me to come over?” he asked. “Just for someone to talk to.”
She was reluctant to say yes. Next on her to-do list were the sealed envelopes from her mother’s safe—something she had planned to do alone. And she wasn’t sure having Leland there was a good idea in any case, not when she was in such a vulnerable state.
“No, I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not. I can hear it in your voice.”
“You’re right. I’m not, but—”
“I’m coming over, if for no other reason than to give you a hug and tell you how sorry I am for your loss. Where are you? Your house or hers?”
“Mine.” She gave him the address. “Lee?”
“Yes.”
“Thanks.”
As she waited for Leland to arrive, guilt over her mother’s demise surged through her. She hadn’t taken the right precautions. True, if her sister had been home, sober, and attentive to her mother’s needs, her death may have been prevented. But if Paige hadn’t allowed her mother to be alone with an irresponsible addict in the first place, she may not be sitting here now dealing with the aftermath of her mother’s death.
She stopped what she was doing and stared out the window, focusing on the birdfeeder outside the dining room window, until her eyes ached. When a bright red cardinal landed in the feeder, she lost it. Once the first tear emerged, the rest followed in an unbroken stream. She bent over her lap and let them fall, her only wish being that she had time to recover from her intense blubbering before Leland arrived. She didn’t like for anyone to see her cry.
When he arrived, Leland pulled Paige into a familiar hug that she fondly remembered from when they were together, reminding her of how long it had been since any man had held her and made her feel like no matter which way she fell, he’d be there to catch her. His six-foot frame may not have been as compact as it had been back in the day, but it still felt good. Good and strong. Leland had never worn cologne due to a fierce sensitivity to it, and breathing in his natural scent brought back more memories. She relaxed in his arms as his able fingers slowly and methodically skated up and down her back.
After a minute, Leland released her from his embrace and looked directly into her eyes. “You okay?” he asked.
She brushed off his question with a wave of her hand and, after offering him something to drink, led the way to the living room.
He eyed the grand staircase to the second floor. “Nice place.”
“Thanks.”
“Kind of big for one person.”
“Not really.”
They settled in on her sofa in front of the elegant, warmly welcoming fireplace in the formal living room.
“I’m so sorry, Paige,” he said. “Losing both parents in such a short period of time must be hard.”
“It is. Mom’s death came so suddenly. I wasn’t prepared.”
“I know, hon. I wish you weren’t having to go through this.”
His calling her “hon” made her remember that even when their marriage was on the rocks, he had still called her that.
“Thanks.”
“Do you need any help with anything? The funeral arrangements. Taking care of business. When my dad died, I remember being overwhelmed with all that had to be done, and he didn’t have that much.” She had never known his dad, who’d died of colon cancer before she and Leland had even met.
“Thanks, but I think I have everything under control. I do need to decide what to do with her house though.”
“Whether to sell it, you mean?”
“Mm-hm.” The notion of losing all the memories made her wince, but then maybe that would be best given what she knew about her father—all her memories of him now tainted.
“Is Natalie still there?”
Paige took in a long, steady breath before responding. “I kicked her out.”
Leland’s eyebrows arched way up, but he didn’t say anything.
“She was supposed to be Mom’s caretaker. Instead, she was out somewhere, getting high on something probably, in the middle of the night, when Mom fell. She didn’t have to die.”
“You can’t be sure of that. Maybe—”
“Really? You’re taking Natalie’s side?”
Leland threw up his hands. “Hey, I’m not taking anyone’s side. I was just making the point that since you weren’t there—”
Paige got up from her seat and walked away from him—the void in the pit of her stomach irritating enough for her to pop another one of the anti-anxiety pills. She hadn’t counted on Leland questioning her anger toward Natalie. Now she wished he had never come over.
He joined her in the kitchen. “Paige?”
She kept her back to him.
“I’m sorry if I said something wrong. I didn’t mean to.”
“That’s fine.”
“It’s not fine.
I came here to give you some comfort, and now I’ve upset you.” He walked up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders. “I’m sorry. Do you want me to go?”
Paige turned around and buried her face in his chest. “It was all her fault,” she said into his shirt. “She didn’t have to die.”
Leland held her until she was still again. “Do you want me to stay or go?” he said softly.
She bit her lip as she considered different scenarios, her mind at war with her heart.
“I have to go into the office to sign off on several deals on my desk.”
“That’s what’s important right now?” he asked.
“And I have to…”
“You have to what?”
He squeezed her a little tighter.
“You don’t have to stay,” she said.
“I know I don’t have to. I’m asking you if you want me to.”
She kept her face buried in his chest, unable to look him straight in the eye, afraid if she did he would try to open up the heavily guarded areas of her heart.
“Yes. I want you to stay.”
Chapter 44
Jessivel’s joblessness became a more serious problem given the CPS hearing looming over her head that could affect custody of her daughter. She had followed up on every resume she had sent, but no one had any openings. As much as she hated the idea of a long commute, she recognized that now it may be necessary.
She called Paige for moral support.
“Are you okay?” she asked Paige over the phone. “You sound kind of funny.”
“My mom died. I’m having a bit of a hard time with it.”
Jessivel offered her condolences and asked if she needed help with anything, but Paige didn’t seem receptive. If Paige didn’t need her in a time like this, maybe she wasn’t really family, after all.
“I’m sorry I’m bothering you, Paige. Just let me know if there is anything I can do.”
“You’re no bother, believe me. The funeral is Saturday, and there’s just so much to think about.” She told her the circumstances behind her mother’s fall and how Natalie hadn’t been there for her.
“I’m so sorry to hear that, Paige.” She told Paige that she would like to come to the funeral to pay her respects, hoping it wouldn’t be construed as an intrusion.
“I’d appreciate that.”
“And I’d like to bring my mother. Would that be alright? Or do you think that would be inappropriate?”
“No, please do bring her. I’d like to meet her, and I think my mother would smile down on it. My impression was that she held nothing against her.” Paige told Jessivel the place and time for the funeral service.
“I’ll see you then,” Jessivel said.
“Wait, you called me for something, and we got distracted.”
“It was nothing.”
“No, tell me. Really.”
Jessivel told Paige about the upcoming CPS hearing.
“That sounds serious. Do you have representation?”
“Representation?”
“A lawyer or some other advocate to be with you.”
“No. I didn’t know I needed one.”
“When’s the hearing?”
“Tomorrow afternoon.”
“That’s not much time to find anyone, but I’d advise you to have someone there with you. Someone who knows the system. Have you found a job yet?”
“No.”
“Hmm. That’s not going to work in your favor. Look, I have a few things I need to attend to this morning, but let me see what I can pull together for you this afternoon. Maybe I can help. We’ll see. I can’t promise you anything, Jess, but I’ll try.”
“Are you sure? You must have your hands full with—”
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. I gotta go now. I’ll call you either later today or tomorrow morning.”
Jessivel hung up feeling stupid for thinking she could go into the hearing by herself.
Paige was clearly the smart one.
“I can’t be there with you today, but a Mr. Eli Dabner will meet you there an hour before you’re due in court,” Paige said to Jessivel on the morning of her CPS hearing. “He’s a family law attorney. I told him as much as I know about your case. You’ll have to fill him in on the rest. And he’s going to give you an offer letter that shows you are employed as of Monday. I really must go. Good luck. Call me later to let me know how it went.”
She wanted to ask Paige questions, but she had hung up too fast. Just hours away from having to go to the hearing and being in the dark as to what was about to transpire caused a quivery twitchiness in her stomach that wouldn’t quit. She had asked her mother if she could come with her, but she had declined because of some event at the Perlman residence that afternoon. The idea that Mrs. Perlman’s stupid to-do would take precedence over a serious family matter that involved her granddaughter made her stomach act up even worse.
Jessivel eyed her watch for the umpteenth time—she had two hours before she had to get into her car and drive to the courthouse. The letter she had received stated no need to have Kayla present, so Jessivel had sent her to school without telling her about it. Now she wished she had her there for support.
The drive to the courthouse took less than twenty minutes. She wandered in through the front door where she showed the guard her paperwork. He pointed her toward the elevator and told her to turn left on the third floor to Court Room 3-12. Once she found it, she sat on the bench outside of the room, picking at her fingernails and hoping she wouldn’t throw up or have to rush to the bathroom before the proceeding started.
An older man with slicked back hair and a paunchy stomach approached her. He introduced himself as Eli Dabner.
“I had little time to prepare for this, but it appears to be an easy, clear-cut matter. You didn’t opt for representation when they notified you?”
“I’m not sure.” She felt confused, like she didn’t know what was going on around her even though she was right there.
“They would have sent you a letter telling you that you could attend the hearing with an attorney or one would be appointed if you couldn’t afford one.”
“I guess I didn’t read what they sent me very well.”
“No problem. Before I forget, here is Ms. West’s offer letter showing you are employed by her firm as of Monday.”
“What?”
“You didn’t know about this?”
“She may have told me. I don’t know. She hired me?”
“That’s what it says.”
“Doing what?”
He looked down at the letter. “Administrative assistant.”
Whatever that means.
“Anyway, let’s begin by you telling me what happened on the day CPS came to visit you.”
They spent the next half hour discussing what happened and Jessivel’s current situation.
“I’m not too worried about this hearing. They filed a Category III complaint against you, with no charges, so it will be pretty much the judge reading the CPS report and either agreeing with it or not. If he agrees with it, he can dismiss it, and everyone goes home. Or he can order subsequent checks on your home for a period of time—interviews with your daughter, family members, neighbors, etc.—to ensure as much as anyone can that there are no future threats to her safety.”
“And if he doesn’t agree with it?”
“He can call for further investigation, or if there is relevant evidence presented here today, he can order the child removed from the home.”
Jessivel’s stomach roiled. “He can’t do that!”
“He can, but I don’t see that happening, not from what I’ve been able to glean in the short period of time I’ve had to look into this.” He paused. “Time to go in. Just follow my lead, and if you’re asked questions, answer them honestly. That’s all you can do.”
Jessivel ambled into the courtroom and took her seat beside Mr. Dabner at a long wooden table facing the judge’s bench. One by one, o
ther people entered the room.
“How did it go?” Paige asked Jessivel later in the day.
“Okay, I guess. They didn’t take Kayla away from me.”
“Case closed? Nothing more you have to do?”
“CPS is going to keep in touch.”
“With visits?”
“I think so.”
“How was Eli?”
“Who?”
“The attorney I set up for you, Eli Dabner.”
“Oh, he was fine. Thank you. But I can’t pay you for him.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“And I’m not sure I understand the letter he gave me. The one that says I have an administrative assistant position at Castle Realtors.”
“I did that to show the court you’re employed, at least as of Monday.”
“But I’m not.”
“You are if you want to be. We should meet and talk about it.”
“I guess we better because I still don’t get it, but you’ve got so much on your mind—”
“Don’t worry. I can make time.”
They planned for Jessivel to come to Paige’s office the following morning. In the meantime, Jessivel Googled “duties of an administrative assistant” and cringed—not only did she lack the necessary skills and experience, but the tasks listed didn’t sound like ones she’d want to do.
“Okay, let’s talk about the job I have for you here,” Paige said to Jessivel when she arrived at her office. “I chose the title administrative assistant because it’s broad in scope—it can mean anything. And before I go any further, if you’re not interested, please say so. I’ll understand, and I won’t take it personally. Just keep in mind the court has a copy of the confirmation letter, so if you decide it’s not for you, it’s best you have another job lined up.”
Paige was talking fast, and Jessivel struggled to follow her. She nodded, thinking it better to be a listener at this point.
“I have decided to buy this strip mall, the one we’re in right now. There’s a lot involved in buying retail property, so for the next couple of months, I’ll need help with…well, someone to do things for me that have to do with the purchase and then afterward the management of it.”
The Ring Page 24
