She and Natalie were only half-sisters.
She imagined earlier times when both her parents were alive, remembering back as far as she could as a child. Nothing out of the ordinary came to light, no obvious signs other than her father being away on business so often, and even that wasn’t inconceivable given his occupation.
I don’t know how many other children your father had over the years. I do know of a son of Indian descent named Tamir who may now live in San Francisco, and I know about a daughter named Emma born a year after you whose mother’s name is Francine Osterman. There’s Jessivel, of course, and Wanda. Yes, Wanda. Your father had an affair with my sister Bernice after we were separated, and Wanda was born from it. There may be others.
Before he died, your father made me promise I wouldn’t tell you the truth, so now I am betraying him. I should have had the courage to tell you all this in person, but I’ve never been a strong person. You probably know that.
Please don’t disparage your father. I don’t know why he did what he did. Maybe he wasn’t satisfied with me. Maybe he was weak and when opportunities presented themselves, he took advantage of them without any forethought. Maybe he just liked having kids. I can’t explain it.
I love you, Paige. I love Natalie. I hope you have a wonderful life and are able to help Natalie with hers. She’s a good person and deserves it.
Love,
Mom
P.S. Your original birth certificate and the adoption papers are in the envelope. Andrea Meyers is the name your mother gave you at birth. Ryan agreed for you to go through a legal name change soon after he brought you home. And the bag of stones—very valuable. There used to be more, but your father sold them one by one so he could afford to support all the women and children in his life.
Paige rose from her chair, allowing the documents she held in her lap spill onto the floor. She walked to the open window that overlooked her backyard, calmed by the outside air softly floating in. She stared at a small dark opening that led to the forest preserve beyond her property, wondering what lurked in there, wanting to explore it, wanting to do anything to get her mind off what she’d just learned. The raw, empty feeling in her stomach and tightness in her chest led her to sit back down.
She questioned whether what she had now learned about herself was destined to be just one small part of her life, or was it central to her identity? Did family transcend blood? A sense of betrayal by both parents clouded her judgment. How could her mother have failed to tell her all of this when she was alive? To answer questions, provide support, offer more detail. How could she? “Not a strong person” didn’t cut it.
Her scrambled thoughts made her head throb—a rapid, pulsating sensation in synch with her racing heartbeat. Everything she’d known to be true as a child had been built upon lies.
Her father had repeatedly told her when she was growing up that he’d wished on a star for her to be born. This previously warm memory now made her feel detached from reality and utterly cold.
Chapter 50
“Well, it’s about time,” Jessivel’s mother said to her on the phone. She had told her mother about opening up to Paige. “I knew you’d figure it out one day.”
“You could have enlightened me.”
“Like you would have listened. You are one of the most headstrong, close-minded people I know. And the last person you’d ever listen to was me. Now, admit it.”
“I was. But no more. I have seen the error of my ways, as they say.”
“Good for you, dear. And another thing. I think Kayla may be following in your footsteps. Maybe it’s time to show her the way too.”
“You’re right. You are absolutely right. You’ve always been right,” Jessivel said with a hint of sarcasm, “but I never saw it back then.”
“What was that noise?”
“Just a text message.” She pulled the phone away from her ear and read the message.
can we talk
Jessivel was speechless for a few seconds, caught off guard by the words on the screen but more so by whom had sent them.
“Are you there?” her mother asked.
“I’m here.”
They finished the call, and Jessivel reread the text message.
It was from Jason, Kayla’s father.
It had been over twelve years since she’d heard from him, and even though he had abandoned her when she’d needed him the most, if she were to be honest with herself, she was still not over him. He was young then and irresponsible, and people could change a lot in twelve years. Still, if he wanted to talk about getting back together, she’d have to be careful, play it cool.
Jessivel: ok
Jason: where can we meet
Jessivel: boothwater park?
Jason: ok
Jessivel: in an hour? by the fountain
Jason: ok
She recalled how Jason used to like to see her in dresses, with her hair swept up, but now there would be no time before they would meet to shower and change. Today, like it or not, he’d see her just as she was when he’d texted her—in sweats and the Fendi t-shirt she had bought at a thrift store for $2.00. Maybe this was better anyway—she didn’t want him to think she had dressed up just for him.
Jessivel perched herself on the edge of the wall surrounding the fountain in Boothwater Park, rehearsing in her mind how she thought the conversation with Jason might go, a scene she had played over in her mind many times—what he would say, what she would say back. She caught herself smiling.
She spotted a car pulling into the lot. A tall, slim man got out and headed for the fountain. When she recognized Jason, she felt a rush of joy, a feeling of everything being right in the world, something she hadn’t felt for a long time.
He walked quickly toward her. The sight of him—his dark eyes and wavy hair—drew her back to her teens. His clothing choices hadn’t changed much—worn-out jeans and a white t-shirt. When he got close enough, she saw he bore no smile, no expression at all. Was he just trying to play it cool?
“Hello, Jess,” he said. He sat on the wall several feet from her, eliminating her anxiety about whether they would embrace when they first saw each other and what it would feel like after all these years.
She released the air that had built up in her lungs as she took in his appearance. Except for the sparse beard he now sported, he hadn’t changed much from the last time she had seen him.
“It’s good to see you again,” he said.
“Good to see you too.” Her mind quickly leapt to an image of being in his arms, feeling the strength of his body against hers.
“I’m here to talk about my daughter.”
“What?” His daughter, not our daughter?
“You heard me.”
She felt her breathing accelerate. For support, she grabbed onto the stone wall on which she sat, bracing herself for what he would say next, hoping for the best but prepared for something bad.
“What about her?”
“I want full custody.”
“What? You have got to be out of your frickin’ mind. You disappeared when you heard I was pregnant, I don’t hear from you for twelve years, and now you prance in here wanting custody? What have you been smoking?”
“You’re an unfit mother, Jess, and I’m concerned about her welfare.” His demeanor remained calm, his facial expression indiscernible.
“Says who?”
“I still have friends in this town. They told me you’ve been homeless, living out of your car. I heard CPS was involved at one point. You’ve been fired from jobs, and my daughter was even arrested for shoplifting. Would you like me to continue?”
Jessivel drew in a long breath before speaking. “That’s all in the past. We’re doing just fine now.”
“I heard there was a shooting in your apartment building last month. Is that a safe place to raise a child?”
Jessivel had heard that too, and when she’d checked it out with Hercules, he’d told her it was a kid shooting off a firecr
acker from his balcony.
“That was a firecracker, just so you know.”
“That’s not what I heard.”
“And it won’t be long I’ll be moving into a house,” she said without any truth behind it.
“I also heard you’re buddies with Paige West.”
“So?”
“So, she comes from money.”
“So?”
“Maybe she could help you out.”
“Just what are you getting at?”
“She could put up enough money for me to stay away from my daughter.”
Jessivel stared at him, shaking her head in disbelief. “Get out.”
Jason looked around. “Public park. I have just as much right to be here as you.”
She started to get up to leave but then wondered what he’d do with her back toward him.
“Sounding better and better, isn’t it?” he said.
“How dare you use my daughter to get money from me.”
“Kayla, right?”
She didn’t respond.
“Adam Wingate Middle School?”
“You wouldn’t.”
Jason got up and began walking away from her. “Try me.”
“Oh yeah?” She stood up. “I’m married to a detective now, you know,” she shouted after him, feeling ill-equipped to say anything more rational or meaningful in the moment. “And he is so not going to like this.”
The next day, Jessivel drove to work and stopped in Paige’s office before she began her first task of the day, planning to tell her about her encounter with Jason.
“How’s Natalie?” Jessivel asked her first.
“Not good. Going through withdrawal is…not fun.”
“When will she be transferred?”
“Thursday, if everything goes as planned.”
“Have you seen her?”
“They suggested I didn’t.”
“I was going to ask if I could go see her, but maybe I shouldn’t?”
“I don’t know how she currently feels about you, but they told me she’s referred to me as ‘the goddamn bitch who put her there.’”
“Oh, no.”
“I have to run. I have a meeting with my banker in a few, and then I’ll be out of the office for the rest of the day at appointments. Do you and Kayla have plans for dinner tonight? Would you like to go out for some pizza or something?”
“Sure.”
“Then if we could talk privately afterward, I have something I want to share with you.”
The discussion with her about Jason could wait until then—looks like it would have to.
That evening, Jessivel, Kayla, and Paige had dinner at one of the local pizza parlors, Jessivel feeling anxious the whole time anticipating the upcoming topics of discussion—whatever it was that Paige wanted to talk to her about and Jason’s threat. Afterward, Jessivel dropped Kayla off at her friend’s house, and she and Paige went to her apartment.
“First of all, how do you feel the job is going?” Paige asked. “I know Olivia gave you that Excel spreadsheet project without much training.”
“Okay, I think. I only forgot to save changes to the document once before closing it.”
Paige paused before saying anything more, keeping Jessivel on edge. “Well, we think you’re doing fine. My concern is that the longer you’re here, the more we’re investing in training, and I’m not sure you’re in this for the long haul. I hope you are, but…”
“Ugh…I guess I’m not sure either, to be honest. I’m gaining great work experience, that’s for sure. And I love dealing with the tenants and contractors. But the rest of it, well…”
“Tell me, how do you compare this to the barista job?”
“Better,” she said without any hesitation. “I don’t have to wait on people.”
“So, let’s just play it by ear. I’ll give you as much tenant-relations work as possible, and we’ll see where it goes.”
“Okay. Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?” She readied herself mentally to tell Paige about her confrontation with Jason.
“No. Well, yes, but there’s something else.” Paige paused, gazed out the window for a moment, then cleared her throat. “My mother wrote me a letter before she died and told me something that shocked me…to the core.”
Jessivel felt her pulse increase. “More news about Dad?”
“Well, yes and no.” Paige hesitated before continuing. “She wasn’t my biological mother.”
“What?”
“Apparently, Dad had an affair with this woman who died shortly after I was born. I think he may have lived with her while my mom and he were separated. My mother, the mother who raised me, was told she couldn’t have children. But she had wanted a child very badly, and so when Dad brought me home, she legally adopted me.”
Paige dabbed her cheeks with a tissue as she told the story. When she finished, Jessivel got up and hugged her. “I feel so bad for you—to find out at this late stage.”
“Funny thing, you’re the first person I’ve told…and the first time I’ve cried about it.”
“Let me guess. Up until now, you’ve been too angry to cry, or hurt, or maybe too confused.”
“Exactly,” Paige said as she wiped her eyes and blew her nose.
“Been there. Know exactly how you feel. Hey, what about Natalie? How did she come along?”
“Turned out the doctors were wrong. Mom got pregnant with Natalie three years later.”
“Wow. So let me think about this. You, Natalie, and I have the same father but each of us has a different mother.”
“That seems to be the case.”
“Are you going to tell Natalie?” Jessivel asked.
“Not while she’s in rehab…someday maybe.”
“Well, you can count on me not saying anything…to anyone.”
“Does Kayla know who her dad is?”
“Yes, but not the whole story. She’s too young.”
“Don’t wait too long, Jess…that’s my advice. I don’t know about you, but at my age, hearing about all the things Dad did has been devastating. Maybe if I’d had some inkling of it earlier, it wouldn’t be so hard to accept now.”
“I don’t know. That could go either way I think. Did your mom tell you why she never told you?”
“She said because she wasn’t a strong person. She admitted in the letter to our father’s infidelity. She mentioned you and Tamir. She also mentioned someone named Emma.”
“So we have another sister?”
“Mm-hm. She gave me Emma’s mother’s name as well—I’ll have to see what I can find out about them.”
Paige paused before continuing. “And there’s more.”
“No shit.”
“My cousin Wanda. She’s also our half-sister.”
“What? So she’s not your cousin?”
“She’s both. She’s my mother’s sister’s daughter.”
“Huh?”
“Apparently, Dad also had an affair with my aunt when he was separated from Mom.” She choked mid-sentence.
Jessivel balled up her hand into a fist and punched her thigh. “I’m beginning to really hate that man.”
“I still don’t know whether I hate him or feel sorry for him.”
“Really, Paige?”
“Don’t get me wrong. I’m not condoning what he did. I’m just saying there had to be something wrong with him, something deep-rooted, to make him so deceitful.” After she said it, she reflected on what her mother had said in her letter, which led Paige to feel her mother had been almost accepting of it.
“He was nothing but a lying, disgusting cheater, but I don’t think I need to tell you how I feel.”
“I know. And you have every right to feel that way. I have more.”
“You’re kidding.”
“The stones. Turns out Mom knew about them. Said Dad would sell them periodically to, in her words, ‘support all the women and kids he had.’”
“Wow. She knew all along.�
��
“What about you—do you think your mom knows more than she’s told you?” Paige asked.
“Probably. But she was one of the ‘other women,’ so it’s different for her.”
“I suppose.”
“Too bad your mom’s not alive to talk all this out.”
“My feelings exactly. She died leaving me with more questions than answers.”
Jessivel couldn’t bring up Jason to Paige right now. The timing was all wrong.
That evening, exhausted from the day’s events, Jessivel dozed off more than once in the chair in front of the TV, but once in bed, she had a difficult time calming her racing mind as she attempted to fall asleep. As soon as her head hit the pillow, snippets of her conversations with Jason and Paige came flying through the door to her brain. She had so wanted to share with Paige her encounter with Jason, ask her what she should do. But not after hearing what Paige had to say about her mother. The Jason conversation would have to wait.
Chapter 51
“Slow down, Natalie, I can’t understand a word you’re saying,” Paige said.
“I lost her. I lost the baby!”
Natalie hadn’t told Paige she was having a girl. “Where are you?”
“At this miserable place you sent me to.”
“At the hospital?”
“No, rehab. I had a miscarriage in the transfer car.”
Understanding her through the sobs proved difficult.
“I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
Natalie hung up.
Paige hoped that Natalie’s abrupt end to the conversation meant she got what she wanted—Paige coming to her rescue—rather than something else, like Go to hell. I never want to see you again. She alerted her office of her plans and headed for Dixon, Illinois.
She had known Natalie’s pregnancy would be at risk given her drug and alcohol abuse, and after discussing it with Natalie’s doctor, she learned that getting her on a medically supervised Methadone regimen would be the best course of action. Miscarriages were more common for women on Methadone than women who were not taking the drug, but less than for women on opioids. Reminded of her own agony in losing Briana, Paige had no trouble empathizing with Natalie in her current state.
The Ring Page 28
