by L A Cotton
The door slammed shut and another bodyguard hopped in the passenger side. “Everyone good?” Travis asked, our eyes meeting in the rear-view.
Eva nodded, her fingers twisted into my shirt as she stared out the tinted window.
“Hey”. I slipped my fingers underneath her jaw and gently angled her face to mine. “You’re okay. I’ve got you, Starshine.” Seeing that guy caging Eva against the wall, hearing her cry for help… it hadn’t just sobered me, it had yanked me back to Earth with an almighty thud.
“I can’t believe that happened,” she breathed, blinking away the tears clinging to the corners of her eyes.
Letty’s cell phone blared to life. “It’s Ali,” she mouthed, taking his call. The intern sat beside her, surprisingly calm considering the circumstances.
“Hey, you okay?” I asked her, and she nodded.
“Is it always so...”
“It gets easier.” Eva sat up straighter. “I didn’t think I could handle it at first, but you do. One day, it just all becomes less… intense.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
Eva glanced up at me, pressing close to my side. “I will be.”
When we got back to the tour buses, Alistair was waiting for us. “What the hell happened?”
“Some guy cornered Eva,” Hudson offered.
“Shit, are you okay?” His expression softened as he laid eyes on Eva.
“I’m fine, just a little shaken up.”
“And you?” He looked to me. “You cool?” I knew what he was asking me. Did he need to bail me out of anything.
I shook my head. “I’m good. But Levi—”
Just then, my brother appeared. He stopped, frowning at us. “The asshole had it coming.” He shrugged. “I’m only sorry I didn’t get another couple of punches in.”
Alistair hissed under his breath.
“Security handled it,” Letty added. “There should be no blowback.”
“Well since you’re all here, we can get on the road. Duke will be glad to get ahead of schedule. Letty and Eva will remain on the second bus. Phoebe you’ll also be with the girls.”
My brow went up and Damon snickered.
“What?” Alistair gawked, his eyes shifting from me to Damon and back again.
“Eva’s with me.”
“Rafe, we’ve talked about this. She can’t just—”
“I don’t know about anyone else,” Damon interjected. “But I need a drink. Why don’t we all hang out on the Van Hool tonight and we can deal with the permanent sleeping arrangements tomorrow.”
“Sounds good to me. We can initiate Pheebs into the fold.” Hudson grinned.
“You’ll do no such thing.” Alistair glared at him. “Phoebe is—”
“Sounds good to me.” All eyes fell on the new girl. “I mean,” she stuttered, “if it’s okay.”
“Of course it’s okay.” Letty grabbed her hand and started pulling her away. “Come on, we’ll grab some pillows and blankets from our bus.”
“I don’t like this.” Alistair rubbed his temples.
“Relax, Ali, boy. It’s one night,” my brother said.
“You’re telling me, you’re okay with this?”
“I’m not going to be a dick about it, if that’s what you mean.” Levi caught my eye again. “Someone tried to hurt Eva. I think we’d all sleep better knowing where she is tonight.” He stalked off, climbing aboard the bus like what he’d said was nothing.
It wasn’t nothing though.
For someone like Levi it was every-fucking-thing.
“Did that really just happen?” Hudson asked.
But I was too busy staring at the door to the bus, wondering if maybe, just maybe, me and Levi were working toward peace.
Or if the only thing linking us anymore was the girl curled into my side.
“I don’t think I can sleep yet.” Eva let out a soft sigh.
“Sleep? Who said anything about sleeping? The night is still young, and we have a new recruit to toy with.”
“Hudson, please don’t traumatize the new intern before she’s even had chance to settle in.”
“That was you not so long ago.” He quipped back as we moved toward the bus.
“I wasn’t that bad, was I?”
“Nah. You were special. You were so freakin’ shy, but you had this inner strength. We all saw it.”
“Is that a compliment?” Eva smirked at him. Hudson pulled himself up, hanging half off and half on the bus.
“Don’t let it go to your head, Country.” He winked and disappeared inside.
“I’ll see the two of you on board.” Damon slipped around us.
“Are you okay?” Eva asked me.
“Isn’t that supposed to be my line?”
She twisted to face me, curling her hands into my shirt. “He didn’t hurt me, Rafe.”
“I know.” My jaw clenched as I tried to rein in my anger. “I just... fuck, I wanted to kill him.”
“There’s always going to be someone, Rafe. An overeager fan, a drunken guy at a bar. The band. Riley.” Her brow rose.
“Riley? What the hell does she have to do with this?”
Eva let out a bitter chuckle. “She’s made no effort to hide the fact she hates me, and I don’t trust her.”
“It’s... complicated.” I didn’t trust her either, but she was banging Alistair. He got this starry-eyed look whenever she was around.
“Has she said something to you since you got back?”
“Nothing I can’t handle.” My eyes narrowed, and Eva let out a little sigh. “I just can’t help but wonder what her endgame is. It’s obvious she’s ambitious, but what if she’s prepared to do anything to get to the top?”
“She really bothers you?”
Eva looked at me, her eyes full of pain. “I just don’t want anything else to come between us.”
“Did something happen, because if it did—” Riley was our assistant, and Alistair’s… well, what the fuck she was to him. But if she was making trouble for Eva, then I wouldn’t hesitate to speak to Alistair.
“No, no. I don’t want to make a big deal about it. It’s just different now.”
“Now what?”
“Now everyone knows I’m yours.”
I pulled Eva into my chest, holding her there. She wasn’t wrong. Going public was supposed to get the fans on our side, and to some degree, it had. But for everyone fan who supported us, there would be one who didn’t like it. Eva was going places. People would want to knock her off the pedestal she’d found herself on.
I wanted to protect her. To shield her from ever having to witness the dark, ugly side of the industry. But the reality was, I couldn’t.
And it was tearing me apart.
Eva
* * *
“No fucking way. For real, you got a full house. I thought you said you never played Poker before?” Hudson gawked at me like I’d grown a second head.
It was late. But after what went down at the club, no one seemed in a hurry to go to sleep. Hudson had suggested strip poker to keep us all entertained, but we settled on regular poker. Rafe helped me the first couple of rounds, while Letty helped Phoebe.
Turned out, I was a quick learner.
“Pay up, Ryker.” Everyone chuckled, as Hudson reluctantly pushed his piles of chips toward me.
“Another round?”
“Count me out.” Rafe held up his hands. He glanced down the bus. Levi had declined to join us, holing up in the back bedroom instead. It had been awkward at first, but the lingering tension soon melted away as we got into the card game.
“I’ll be right back,” he said, sliding his hand across my knee.
“Do you think that’s a good idea?” I whispered, knowing exactly where he was going.
“I just want to talk.”
“I know but...” I let out a weary sigh. “Okay, if you’re sure.”
Rafe stood up and slipped out from the table. But before he got down the back end of the b
us, Levi appeared. He’d changed out of his outfit into a pair of sweats that hung low on his waist. Phoebe’s eyes grew to saucers as she took in his naked torso. I couldn’t blame her. It was like a canvas, inked with a story of pain and passion.
“See something you like, New Girl?” Levi leaned back against the counter and uncapped a beer with his teeth.
“I... hmm...” Phoebe stuttered.
“Lay off her,” Letty warned.
“Or what, Panem? You’re not my keeper.”
“No, but if I was, I’d tell you to put some fucking clothes on.”
Levi ran a hand lazily down his lean body. “I don’t see Eva or New Girl complaining.”
Rafe glared at his brother, the air around us turning thick with tension.
“Levi, come on, man. You did a good thing tonight.” That was Damon. “Don’t ruin it, yeah?”
His eyes fixed on mine. Heated and intense. But it wasn’t an expression of lust or longing, it was something else. Something akin to fear and anger.
“Listen,” Rafe said quietly. Damon launched into telling Phoebe something to give the brothers a private moment, but I couldn’t help eavesdropping.
“What you did at the club. Thanks, man. If anything had happened to Eva... fuck, I don’t know what I would have done.”
“It was nothing.”
“It wasn’t nothing, Levi.” Rafe dragged a hand through his hair. “You and I both know that.”
“Yeah, well don’t make a big deal out of it. Things between you and me...”
“I know. I said a lot of things I regret. We both did.” Rafe’s eyes flickered to mine and I dropped my gaze.
“The thing is though, little brother, once they’re out in the open, ain’t no taking them back. I’m glad Eva’s okay. Part of me is even glad you have each other. But honestly, I don’t know where the fuck that leaves us.”
“We’re family, Levi. Nothing will ever change that.”
For a second, I thought Levi might concede. I silently prayed he would drop his walls enough to let Rafe back inside. But he moved around him, grabbed another beer from the refrigerator and stalked off down the bus, disappearing into the bedroom again.
Rafe looked so sad. I wanted to fix it. I wanted to fix them. But this was one problem I couldn’t fix. Not until Levi fully accepted the shift in their relationship, and Rafe accepted that he couldn’t be everything to everyone all the time.
“Is he always so... rude?”
Hudson exploded with laughter at Phoebe’s observation, slapping his hand down on the table. Bottles and glasses wobbled, cards and poker chips flying everywhere.
“Watch it, asshole.” Damon started cleaning up. “You’ll have to excuse Hudson, Phoebe, he isn’t used to company.”
“Fuck you, man. I’m not going to change who I am just because the label sent another little minion to spy on—”
“Excuse me?” Phoebe recoiled. “You think I’m here to spy on you?”
“Ignore him, girl. I do.” Letty grinned, and Hudson flipped her off.
“I just don’t understand what the label were thinking sending an intern on tour with us. Especially with...” he trailed off, glancing down the bus.
“What Hud is trying to say,” Damon added. “Is that things have been a little tense lately.”
“I get it, and I know you guys probably don’t want me here. But I’m a quick learner and I promise not to get in the way.”
“You really think you’ve got what it takes to tour with us?” Hudson climbed over Damon to go to the kitchenette. He pulled a bottle of liquor from one of the cabinets and found a couple of cups.
“Seriously, you’re going to make her—”
“You think just because Levi is in his room sulking like a little bitch that tradition takes a backseat? Oh, hell no.” He handed Phoebe a cup and poured her a generous shot.
“I’m not... I don’t...” She sniffed the contents, blanching.
“You don’t have to do it,” I said.
“Sure, she does.”
Phoebe ignored Hudson, asking me, “Did you do it?”
“I did. It’s not my proudest moment.” I grimaced. It felt so long ago, even though it was only a few weeks. So much had happened.
“It’s not spiked or anything like that?”
“Jesus, what do you take me for? If I wanted to get you into bed, I wouldn’t need to roofie you.”
“I’m not...” Phoebe’s cheeks burned. “You’re a lot to handle.”
“You haven’t seen anything yet, darling.” Hudson raised his cup. “Shall we?” He touched it to the edge of hers before raising it to his lips. Phoebe hesitated but then knocked it back in one.
“Wow, okay, I’d forgotten how badly that stuff burns,” she breathed. “Water, I need water.”
Everyone laughed while Hudson got her a bottle of water. “Congratulations, new girl, you’re officially one of us now.” He winked at her. “Welcome to the crazy.”
“One of us and therefore, off limits.” Letty gave him a pointed look.
“You think... me... and the new girl.” His eyes widened. “No offense, but you’re not my type.”
“None taken.” Phoebe shrugged. “You’re not mine either.”
“Ooh, burn.” Letty slapped the table. “I like you already.” She flashed Phoebe a grin.
“You have a type now?” Damon had kicked his feet up on the table and reclined back in the chair.
“Sure, he does. Her name starts with a M and ends with a—”
“Fuck you, traitor.” Hudson balled up a chip packet and threw it at Rafe’s head. “I think I’m going to call it a night. The party’s dead and I need my beauty sleep.”
“He’s still hung up on Molly,” Rafe whispered.
“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.” Hudson yelled as he disappeared into the bathroom.
“Who’s Molly?” Phoebe asked. She had that starstruck look, as if she couldn’t quite believe she was sitting on a tour bus hanging out with Black Hearts Still Beat.
I knew the feeling well.
“She’s my best friend. She and Hudson had... a thing.” I turned in toward Rafe. “Am I allowed to say that?”
He chuckled. “She works for the label. She’ll know all our secrets before the tour is over.”
“I guess.” I smiled around a yawn. “Sleep doesn’t sound like a bad idea. I guess I’ll be takin’ one of the bunks...”
“Cute, Eva. Real cute.” Damon smirked. “Like you didn’t know the minute you stepped foot on the bus that you and Rafe would be stealing the other bedroom.”
“I didn’t want to presume.” I fought a grin.
“Ladies,” Damon addressed Letty and Phoebe. “I hope you brought earplugs.”
“Hey,” I cried. “You can’t say stuff like that.” My cheeks heated.
“Relax, Eva. I was talking about Hudson’s snoring.” Damon wore a knowing smile.
Rafe dipped his head and nuzzled my neck. “Don’t worry, Starshine,” he whispered, his words for my ears only. “I promise not to make you scream.”
My breath caught, my stomach clenching, as I sat there wondering what the hell I’d let myself in for ever setting foot on this bus.
“This is cozy.” I brushed my nose over Rafe’s jaw. The bedroom, if you could call it that, was steeped in darkness. I could just make out the lines of his face, guided by the glint of metal in his lip.
He let out a small breath, running his hand over my hip, dragging me closer. “I want to love you, Eva, I do...”
“It’s okay.” I kissed the corner of his mouth. “We have all the time in the world, right? I think all I want right now is for you to hold me.” I was tired too. Emotionally drained from the events of the night, the dark Levi-shaped cloud still circling us.
“Always.” I heard him swallow.
“Penny for your thoughts?”
“I just... Jesus, Eva. When I saw that guy with his hands on you...”
“Ssh.” I touched my
finger to his lips. “Don’t do this, please.”
Rafe hooked his arm around my body and crushed me against his chest. “What did I ever do to deserve you?”
“It’s not about being deserving, Rafe. It’s about finding the missing half of your soul.”
“You think I’m your soulmate?” There was no humor in his words, but there was plenty of doubt.
“I’m not sayin’ that... I’m just sayin’ I like to think we came into each other’s lives for a reason. I was in a dark place when I met you, Rafe. I was lost and you anchored me.”
Silence enveloped us. Then Rafe started humming, his voice dancing over my skin like a warm breeze. “She’s just a lost girl, drowning in space. Nowhere to run, nowhere to go. All she needs is an anchor, someone to reach out and pull. Take my hand, I’ll be the one...”
“What is that?” I pushed up onto my elbow. “It’s beautiful.”
“It’s nothing, just words.” Rafe leaned up to kiss me.
I eased back, raising a brow. “It didn’t sound like nothing; it sounded like something.”
Even in the darkness, I could sense him shutting down. I knew things were different now. There was an us and them now. We’d done that. The band could make jokes and brush it under the rug, but it didn’t change the fact we were all treading uncharted waters.
There was something else going on with Rafe though. I wanted to desperately push him to tell me, to talk it over. But I knew better than most people, that sometimes a person needed time and space to deal with things in their own way.
“Do you think Hudson and Molly will ever sort out their crap?” I asked, changing the subject.
Rafe tucked me back into the crook of his arm, so we were lying side by side, staring up at the ceiling. “Hudson isn’t the settling down type.”
“What happened to him?”
“That’s not my story to tell, Eva. Even if he wanted to make a go of it with Molly, and I think a part of him does, he will screw it up. It’s what he does.”
“That’s a little harsh, don’t you think?”
“It’s the truth. I’ve known Hudson a long time and the second things get too real, he bails. Foster carers, therapists, girls...”
