by Darien Cox
“Not good enough,” Myles said.
“Myles!” Christian stood. “I lived on the street for a year when I was just a kid. I know when I’ve been violated, and this wasn’t like that. Baz had no abusive intent. It was an accident.”
“If Baz knew something like this could happen, he should have warned you outright. He should have told you.”
“He was probably embarrassed,” Elliot said.
“Or he didn’t even know it could happen!” Christian said. “Myles, whatever this was, it was unintentional. Please do not go over there and freak out on Baz.”
Elliot touched Myles shoulder. “He’s right. Myles, I know how fucked up this is, but please let me deal with it. Baz trusts me.”
“No. Stay here. Look after Christian.” Myles started for the door.
“I’ll watch Christian, but I’m calling Nolan to meet you over there!” Elliot shouted. “You’re not in your right mind to do this, Sheriff.”
“Call whoever you want.” Myles slammed the door behind him and headed for his truck.
****
The lantern on the porch was still lit when Myles arrived at the cabin. He got out of the car and took a deep breath, trying to force himself to calm, even as his entire being pulsed with rage and something close to panic. First and foremost, he needed answers. It was time for that damn hybrid to fess up to everything, alien secrets be damned. As Elliot said, this was personal, but the fact that someone else gave Myles’ boyfriend an orgasm could not take priority right now. Christian’s health and well-being came first. Myles still wanted to get Christian checked out by a doctor. But first he needed information, and for that he had to go straight to the source. He needed to question Baz and find out exactly what he’d done.
He found the door unlocked and stepped cautiously into the cabin. “Baz?”
Getting no response, he moved down the hallway and into the kitchen. He spotted a silver box on the table, but no sign of the hybrid. “Baz, you here? It’s Myles. I need to speak with you.”
Damn it. He’d probably fled, the fucker. But to leave that box in the kitchen? Leave alien technology sitting there out in the open, where anyone could come along and find it?
No. He’s still here. Somewhere.
Myles walked down the hallway, past a bathroom, and found two closed doors at the end. He opened one, flicked the light on, finding a small room with two twin beds. Empty. He shut the light off and moved to the other door. He opened the door, flicked the light on, and froze.
It was a larger bedroom. Next to a queen-sized bed, Baz sat cross-legged in a chair, hunched over, his long white hair hanging down, hands holding his head, face hidden. Stuttered gasps of raspy breath made his back tremble. Baz made no move when Myles stepped into the room. “Baz?”
Another tremble, breathy sounds, and a soft whimper from the hybrid, but he didn’t lift his head.
Myles walked toward him. He was about to reach over and touch his shoulder when he hit an invisible wall of energy and stumbled back. He held his hands out in front of him. The space two feet in front of the chair was a barrier, like touching a solid wall. “So you’ve shielded yourself,” Myles said.
Baz’s back hitched. “Frightened of you,” he said, barely above a whisper.
Myles took a step back, hands on his hips. “The feeling’s mutual. But you clearly don’t have to be frightened of me since you’ve got yourself shielded. So look at me. I need information.”
Slowly, Baz lifted his head. The colorful eyes that focused on Myles were glassy, white face wet with tears. He blinked and his long jaw trembled. “Did not mean to, Myles. Did not mean to do to him.”
“What did you do to Christian?”
Baz slowly straightened and leaned back in the chair. He wiped his nose with his hand, blinking long, wet lashes as he stared up at Myles. “Is Chrischris...” His breath hitched. “To be okay?”
“That’s what I came to ask you. Is he going to be okay after what you did to him?”
“He...he...he okay now?”
“He was calm enough to tell me what happened. But he was burning hot when he got home. What you did...is it harmful to him?”
The white flesh around Baz’s eyes wrinkled with a grimace and he shook his head as more tears came. “Do not know. Never...happen with human before. Please Myles...please stop to be angry.”
“What did you do to him? Explain it to me.” He pointed a finger at Baz. “Explain it clearly. No double-talk, and quit whimpering like some little victim. You knew Christian was human, knew you could hurt him with your damn...abilities!”
Myles heard the door bang open out in the living room, then heavy footfalls coming down the hall. He turned as Nolan stepped into the room, flush from the cold, chin-length dark hair loose under a knit hat. Nolan stared at Baz, then glanced at Myles. “Elliot called me.” He removed his hat and shook his hair out, then shrugged out of his coat, leaving him in a white sweater that hugged his muscled shoulders. “You okay, Baz?”
“Nolan...” Baz wiped his eyes and reached an arm out. “Please. To help. Frightened.”
Nolan gave Myles a glare, which pissed him off, then walked over to Baz. “It’s okay, Baz. Don’t be scared.”
“Oh gimme a break,” Myles said. “He’s half-White, he could bleed us internally with a thought, he’s not scared. It’s an act.”
Whatever shield Baz had engaged didn’t stop Nolan from stepping through. He knelt by the chair and took Baz’s hand. “You all right?”
“Is he all right?” Myles snapped. “Did you hear what he did to Christian?”
Nolan looked up at Myles. “I heard. I heard it was an accident. You don’t have to intimidate him like this.”
“I’m trying to get answers! Christian’s health could be compromised by this!”
“Elliot said Christian’s fine,” Nolan said. “He took his temperature and it’s normal. Christian was in the shower when I called, and I could hear him whistling. He’s fine, Myles.”
A long breath leaked out of Baz, and he squeezed Nolan’s hand. “He fine. You sure?”
“He’s fine, Baz,” Nolan said.
“No,” Myles said. “We’re not sure, Baz. Tell me what you did!”
“It’s okay,” Nolan said soothingly to Baz. “Just tell us what happened. Myles won’t hurt you.”
Myles rolled his eyes and sat down on the bed.
Baz let go of Nolan’s hand and wiped his eyes. “Sometime...not always. But sometime in the before, when sit close to speak. With Chrischris. When Chrischris say kind words to me. I feel it start. But keep inside.”
Nolan rose and sat on the bed next to Myles. “Is this something that happens between hybrids?” Nolan asked. “When you’re being intimate?”
Baz’s eyes shifted away and his shoulders hunched. “Yes, okay but...different. Share? Should not...happen with humans.”
“But how do you know it shouldn’t happen, if you’ve only spent limited time around humans?” Nolan asked. “You’re part human.”
“Humans...I have watch humans do sex. They do not share this way,” Baz said. “Not like hybrids. Is from Whites part of me. But Chrischris make human side come wake inside. Since first meet. Wake my human side...but stir my abilities from Whites.” His lip trembled. “So confuse.”
“You’re not the only one confused. Speak plainly,” Myles said. “I don’t have patience for your alien bullshit right now.”
“Myles!” Nolan scowled at him.
“What, Nolan? Would you be all calm if this happened to Elliot?”
Nolan’s frown smoothed. “No. I suppose not.”
“Then gimme a fucking break.”
“Just calm down, shouting at Baz isn’t gonna get answers any quicker.”
“Is okay, Nolan,” Baz said. “Understand why Myles angry.”
They both looked back at Baz.
Baz took a breath, seeming to get hold of himself. “Is okay. Myles...to be upset is okay. Speak plainly now.”
/> “Good,” Myles said. “Start talking. The full truth. Because your little secrets are what caused this.”
Baz went very still, those huge, luminescent eyes focused on Myles. “Chrischris excite me inside.”
Although Myles was now keenly aware of this, hearing it in plain terms tightened his gut. He said nothing, waiting for Baz to continue. But Baz must have taken his silence as confusion, because he went on to clarify.
“He excite me. Make me want to touch. To kiss. To give sex to. To smell. To taste—”
“I get it!” Myles shouted, and Baz jumped.
“Do not wish to have these feels, Myles. Try to make stop,” Baz whispered.
“Baz,” Nolan said gently, “does this always happen when you’re around Christian?”
“Not like this. Not like...what just happen. Some small feels when work with but...many distraction. Others nearby. Control. Push down. But...”
“But what?” Myles asked.
“When just Chrichris with Baz. Alone? Look into Baz eyes. Say kind things. Move close to. Make...like volcano inside.”
“And that’s what happened tonight,” Nolan said. “Did you know this could happen? If you were alone with Christian?”
“No!” Baz’s eyes grew glassy again. “No. Not like this. Try not to let even small feels come in the before. Chrischris love Myles. Baz to stay away from.”
“That’s why you’ve been avoiding meeting with Christian,” Myles said.
“Yes. Better safe than sunny. But this night, think okay. Stay calm. This be quick meeting. Chrichris to leave soon. But he did not leave. Keep say kind things. Keep look in Baz eyes. Then...excite inside. Then...press body against me for hug. Then...” Baz fisted his hands then splayed them open. “Poof.”
Myles flinched. Nolan rubbed his brow and sighed. “Okay,” Nolan said. “When you...do this poof with other hybrids, do they have the same reaction? Elliot said Christian had some sort of convulsion. That he lost control of his body.”
“Not exact. I think maybe...too much hold inside. I hold too much inside and not okay for human body to take. But never lose control like that before.” Baz looked at Myles. “What happen with Chrischris?” Baz placed a hand on his own chest. “Is different for me as well. Never feel excite go out like that so strong in the before. Frighten me.”
“Do you think you harmed Christian?” Nolan asked.
Myles was grateful for Nolan in that moment. He was asking all the things Myles needed to, but couldn’t seem to voice in his panic and discomfort.
“Is not harmful act with hybrids,” Baz said. “Is...” He glanced at Myles then looked down. “Is beautiful. No harm. Make body happy. After the sex, body stronger if get back in return.”
Myles’ brows pinched. “Christian’s body is not yours to make happy.”
“I know this, Myles. Was accident.”
“So are you saying this could be beneficial to Christian?” Nolan asked, and Myles glared at him. “Sorry,” Nolan muttered.
“Do not know. Chrischris human. Should not have happen.”
“And what about you?” Myles demanded. “You didn’t get anything back from Christian, did you?”
“Nooo.” Baz’s white lashes lifted. “Was only one side. Nothing back from Chrischris. Baz feel...weak now.”
Myles frowned. “Weak?”
“Yes. Okay. Weak. To give out and not receive...weakens hybrid.”
Nolan chuckled softly. “So I guess masturbation isn’t big in hybrid culture.”
Baz’s eyes widened, and he looked down, blushing. “No. To do self is...draining. Not healthy. Is best to share experience. To get back what is give out. If not? Drain. Take many day to bring strength back.”
“Speaking of hybrid sex practices, what about Joff?” Myles said. “Does he know my boyfriend is giving you volcanic feelings inside?”
“Yes,” Baz said softly. “Joff know.”
Myles and Nolan looked at each other, shared surprise in their expressions. Nolan scowled and looked at Baz. “Joff knows? That you have a thing for Christian?”
“Joff know. Is not...” Baz’s brows pinched, and he shrugged a shoulder. “How to explain. Hybrids may have human part but not like human so much. No to be secrets. No big deal. Sex feels no to shame. I tell Joff maybe problem for work with humans because I think not good to meet with Chrischris. He say...no to worry. Just do what feel is best to not make problem.”
“So he’s okay with you lusting after Christian,” Myles said. “Even though you’re intimately involved with Joff. You are intimate with Joff, I’m assuming?”
“Yes.” Baz frowned. “Share feels with Joff.”
“How is he okay with you telling him you want to have sex with a human?” Myles asked. “Just because you’re hybrids? And sex is no big deal?”
“Joff understand. Joff hybrid, second generation, like Baz. He know part human inside us. He say...must be natural. Just never deal with humans before, so not to know. No to feel bad, Joff say. Joff think we should...” Baz glanced at Myles then looked down.
“What?” Nolan leaned forward. “What were you gonna say?”
“Myles will not like to hear this what I say now.”
Myles huffed. “Myles has not liked hearing any of this. No need to stop now on my account.”
“Come on, Baz,” Nolan said, reaching out and squeezing his shoulder. “I know this is awkward, but it’s time to come clean on everything. I think you can agree keeping things secret was a bad idea. It blew up in your face. And Christian’s.”
Myles winced. “Can you watch your phrasing, Nolan?”
“Sorry.”
Baz sighed and blinked slowly. “Okay. What the hell. Baz already in shit, yes, Nolan?”
Nolan laughed. “Yeah, you fucked up, just own it now.”
That got a slight smile from Baz. “Ellytot to say cut crap, yes?”
“Exactly.” Nolan smiled. “Please, Baz. Be honest. It’s important. We need to be sure Christian wasn’t harmed by this.”
“I would never harm Chriscrhis.” Baz shook his head. “Never to try harm. Love Chrischris.”
“Yeah, now you admit you love him,” Myles said. “You knew you had these feelings and you kept your mouth shut. You were aware enough to talk to Joff about it. But you didn’t think to tell Christian? Or Ogden? When clearly this could be dangerous?”
“I try to deal with,” Baz said. “To make gone. Joff try to help.”
“How?”
“Okay.” Baz glanced back and forth between Myles and Nolan. “Joff...he like me very much. Have love for me. Like to give me excite. Like to...see me excite.”
Myles fidgeted. This was probably the most intimate conversation he’d had with anyone he wasn’t sleeping with, never mind an alien. “What’s that got to do with Christian?”
“Chrischris...Joff think is amusing.” He shook his head. “No, wrong words. Not amuse. Not joke. Joff think exciting that Baz have excite inside for Chrischris. What make me think sex, Joff like. Even if is not Joff.”
“Ooh, boy,” Nolan whispered.
Myles stared at Baz, scowling. “So...Joff is into it?”
“Not in before but...I think yes. Now. I think excite him now because of...things that happen between us.”
Myles leaned forward. “What things?”
Baz’s shoulders hunched and he looked up at Myles. “In the before, when I first tell him I am sad because have wrong feels for Chrischris, Joff say, safe place, Baz. But not say Baz because this not my name. Only Baz to you. Joff say safe place, my love. To...experiment. With my feels.”
Myles blinked, wincing.
Nolan glanced at Myles. “You all right?”
“I can handle it,” Myles said. “Don’t coddle me.”
“Fine.” Nolan faced Baz. “Joff told you speaking to him about Christian was safe. How’d you go from that to him being...excited by it? Is that what you’re saying? Joff is excited by it?”
“Jesus Christ.” My
les pinched the bridge of his nose.
“You’re not okay hearing this, Myles,” Nolan said. “Understandable. Would you rather wait outside?”
“I’m just not sure this alien Penthouse Forum story is helping me determine how Christian was affected by this.”
“Well,” Nolan said, “it will at least give us the full picture. You wanted answers, now you’re getting them. You gonna bail?”
Baz’s huge eyes widened. “You to leave now, Myles?” He sounded hopeful.
“Oh I’m sure you’d love it if I left,” Myles said.
Baz’s head dropped. “Apology.”
“Go on then.” Myles twirled his hand. “Let’s have it. Tell me how you incorporated my boyfriend into your sex games.”
“Myles!” Nolan said. “You don’t have to be like that. He’s being honest with us.”
“Chrischris love you, Myles,” Baz said. “This just my shit.”
Myles glanced at Nolan. “You’ve improved his vocabulary immensely.”
Nolan shrugged. “Hey, it’s clear, isn’t it? We curse a lot.”
“Is my shit, Myles,” Baz said. “Is not to do with you. Not to do with you and Chrischris love. Baz never to fuck with that. Want Chrischris happy with Myles.”
Myles sighed. “I want to believe you’d never purposely mess with Christian.”
“Would not! Tear my heart what happen tonight.”
“Then what’s the deal with Joff getting excited over you wanting Christian?”
Baz chewed his lower lip.
“Go on,” Myles said. “I’m calm. I can handle it.”
“Okay.” Baz’s head bobbed. “Joff say, safe place. Tell me you feels for this human. Get it out here. Away from. To keep inside...not so good. Let out in safe place.”
“I see,” Myles said. “And how did you let it out?”
Baz clasped his hands and rocked back and forth. “I tell Joff my feels. That Chrichris eyes on mine give fire on the inside. That he is beautiful, kind. Painted skin want to touch. Mouth to want taste. Wish to see...Chrischris eyes when...if...could make explode inside.”
Nolan coughed and looked down.
Myles’ face heated. “That’s very...specific.”
