by Amanda Perry
Her reassuring tone quiets the panic enough for me to take another deep breath. So far, Dr. Paine hasn’t given me any indication she’s a threat to me, and she’s willing to do whatever she can to ensure I’m comfortable. It means a lot to me that she thinks of my comfort from the start.
“I n-n-need them,” I whisper.
Dr. Paine nods once, indicating that she heard me. “Let’s all go into my office then.”
She leads the way to a surprisingly large office. The walls of the room are painted the color of sand. A large metal anchor takes up the majority of the biggest wall, with various other marine-themed décor pieces throughout the room. A messy desk and matching bookcase sit to one side of the room, while on the other side, there are three navy armchairs and a matching couch which forms a circle around a coffee table made of driftwood.
“Have a seat wherever you’d like.” Dr. Paine waits near the wall while we pick our seats.
Cassie urges me forward to sit first. I pick the middle of the couch and sigh with relief when Cassie sits to my right and Leanne to my left. Dr. Paine picks up a notepad and clipboard from her desk, then takes a seat on the middle armchair, directly across from me.
“So, Riley, I can see you’re not entirely comfortable here, and I want to help change that. How about I introduce myself to you, then you can tell me about yourself? Is that okay?” She waits for my small nod before she continues, “I’m Jillian Paine, and I’m married to my soulmate, Alan. We have three children together, all boys. I have an affinity for Water, in case you couldn’t tell by my room, and I love Chinese food.” She pauses briefly and taps her pen against the notepad in her lap. “Would you like to tell me about yourself?”
With a deep breath, I give her a stuttered introduction of myself. I manage to tell her my name and age, but then I freeze. What else can I tell her? Does she want to know everything about me? Does she want to hear about my past or about Caleb? Is she wondering why I decided to come see her?
When it’s clear to her that I don’t know what else to say, Dr. Paine takes over. “Is it all right if I ask you a few questions?”
I exhale gratefully. “Sure.” It’s easier for me to answer her questions than it is for me to come up with something to say, especially since I don’t even know where to start.
“What’s your favorite color?” Her question throws me off. What would my favorite color matter to her?
Still, I answer her because she’s the professional, not me. “I guess y-y-yellow?”
“Really?” Cassie asks quietly. He eyes widen as if she didn’t mean to speak aloud. “Sorry, I just never knew that.”
“It’s a happy color,” I explain to Cassie. “Most yellow things are bright and happy, like the sun and flowers, birds and fish.”
“I like the way you think.” Dr. Paine grins. “Yellow is a great color. I’m partial to ocean blue, myself.”
“Same.” Cassie giggles.
My curiosity piques, and I glance at Leanne. “What’s your favorite color?”
“Bright green,” she answers with a shrug. “Like grass right after a good rain.”
“You must like yellow because you can find it in all elements,” Dr. Paine muses. “It seems like our favorite colors coincide with our elements.”
The color drains from my face, my hand tightening on Cassie’s. “H-h-how do y-y-you know?”
Dr. Paine frowns and tilts her head to the side. “Know what?”
“How did you know about her affinities, Jill?” Leanne leans forward, her posture straightening. “I never mentioned that.”
“My husband, Alan, told me some rumors.” Her frown deepens. Her eyes, full of concern, bounce between the three of us. “He said there’s talk all over his office of the Chosen being real and having a strange introduction into our world. He said there’s been a blessing already, but no one knows who the person is. Leanne, when you told me about Riley and that she had a unique situation, I wondered... However, the marks I can see put it together for me.”
My attention moves to the most visible mark I have. The band of fire with the burning rose on my arm. I do my best to avoid looking at it because it makes me think of Caleb. I knew other Elementals would notice my mark for Fire. The Water mark on my ribs is easily covered and so is the Earth mark between my shoulder blades. When I peek down at my Air mark on my ankle, I realize my mistake. I wore a skirt today, and when I sat down, it lifted enough to show the mark.
It’s supposed to be a secret. I was told to keep my new identity a secret, and I already failed. “Oh no.” I shrink back on the couch.
Leanne gives my leg a reassuring pat, but her attention remains on Dr. Paine. “This is really important, Jill. No one is supposed to know about this.”
Dr. Paine lifts a hand to stop Leanne. “No one knows who Riley is. I only figured it out because of the marks and your brief introduction of her when you called me. I didn’t say a word to anyone, and I never would. Not only is it my job to keep anything in this room confidential, but I wouldn’t risk our future as Elementals or Riley’s safety. I know the myths. I know what’s supposed to come with the discovery of the Chosen. Your secret is safe with me. Please don’t worry about me telling anyone because I won’t, not even Alan.”
I wonder briefly how the information was leaked. The only people who knew about me were my family and the council. If I had to guess, Forrest, the council member who represents Earth, would be the culprit. He didn’t seem to like me much when I met him.
I know without a shadow of a doubt that my family wouldn’t have told anyone. The revelation brings a smile to my face. I trust them enough to know they’d never do anything to put my safety in jeopardy. I don’t even worry about Caleb potentially mentioning it to anyone. He may not love me anymore, but he wouldn’t purposely hurt me.
Cassie nudges me softly with her elbow. “Why are you smiling, Ri?”
“I just realized something, that’s all.” I shrug but lean my side into hers.
Dr. Paine clears her throat. “Would you tell us what you realized?”
All eyes fix on me, but I don’t mind for once. I’m not afraid to admit my thoughts to them. “I trust my family to keep me safe.”
In the short time I’ve been in California, I’ve heard a million times that none of them would ever hurt me on purpose. More than anything, I wanted to believe the words, but I’ve been told a lot of things in my life. I couldn’t bring myself to trust their words. Instead, it’s been their actions that gave me the trust in them I wasn’t sure I’d ever find. They’ve shown me, along with telling me, that I can trust them.
Caleb left me and hurt me, but I truly believe he didn’t mean to. He even said he was sorry for it, and I know he is. He wouldn’t do anything to cause me pain on purpose. It was something he had to do for himself, and I can’t hold that against him. I’d hate for him to stay with me and be miserable when he doesn’t share the same feelings.
“That’s a very good thing.” Dr. Paine grins. She glances at her watch and cringes. “Our time is up today, Riley. When Leanne called, I unfortunately didn’t have a full session available. I decided to take a short lunch and fit you in with a short introductory appointment today. I want to assure you, though, your secret is safe with me. In fact, all of your secrets are safe with me. I cannot and would not tell anyone anything you say to me in this room. Still, it’s completely up to you if you’d like to come back and visit me again.”
“Thank y-y-you,” I whisper. “I think I’d l-l-like that.”
None of my internal alarms sound off around Dr. Paine. I don’t think she’s a bad person, and I would like to talk more with her. Maybe she really could help me sort through my thoughts. She knows Leanne—has for a long time—and it helps that Leanne seems to trust her.
Dr. Paine stands, and the three of us follow suit. She leads us to her door as she speaks over her shoulder. “Should we say the same time next week? It would be a typical, hour-long appointment then.”
“I’m okay with that,” I mumble, my gaze on Leanne. “Is that okay?”
“Anything you need, honey.” She wraps an arm around my shoulders and hugs me to her side. Happily, I lean against her. She’s been more affectionate since I called her mom a few days ago. I like it, a lot. Her hugs bring a sense of safety, and I love that she’s giving them to me more freely.
Dr. Paine pulls the door open for us. “I’ll write it down in the books. It was wonderful to meet you, Riley. I look forward to seeing you again.”
With another quiet thank you to her, I shuffle out the door. Something bright blue catches my eye as we pass through the waiting area. I turn to find a large bouquet of blue roses in a black vase on the counter of the front desk. I don’t remember them being there before, but I was distracted with my nerves over the appointment with Dr. Paine. I must have been too lost in my head to pay enough attention.
Surely, it’s a coincidence. The roses will forever remind me of Caleb, but he isn’t the only person to ever send a girl a bouquet of roses. Cassie said Elementals can grow blue roses, and Dr. Paine is an Elemental. Maybe her husband has an affinity for Earth, and he had them delivered to her—after all, her favorite color is blue. I don’t understand why it matters to me, though.
As I push the front door open and step out, I allow the cool, November air to carry away my thoughts of the blue roses. I’m simply too content to bring myself another worry. I may not trust my family without doubt and without exception, but I’m getting there. It’s a step in the right direction.
Chapter 5
“I’m not giving you more.” I cross my arms over my chest and attempt to exude some form of authority. “You’ve had enough.”
Rose weaves her tiny body through my legs, trying to butter me up. Her loud purrs mixed with her soft meows melt my heart, but I refuse to give in.
“If I give you more of the treats, you’ll get a tummy ache. I’m not giving you more, Rose.” She blinks up at me through her big, bright blue eyes and pouts. I never knew a cat could pout, but I sense her discontent with me. She wants more of the new treats Jaxon got her, but I read the bag and gave her the correct amount. I don’t want to make her sick by giving her more.
Rose’s ears perk up, and her nose twitches. She lifts her head, sniffs the air, then darts out of my room before I can blink. Something grabbed her attention, and I grow curious. I rush from my room in time to see her pop her little body through Caleb’s half-closed door. The dull ache in my chest turns into a sharp, stabbing sensation as I tiptoe to the door and peek inside. Caleb kneels on the ground, collecting pieces of plastic and cardboard and shoving them into an empty box with a picture of a cat tree on the side. I lean forward and find a cat tree nearly touching the ceiling in the corner of his room.
“Don’t tell your mother about this,” Caleb grumbles. At first, I wonder if he’s talking to me, and my heart skips a beat. “She’s really mad at me right now, and I don’t want to do anything to upset her more. This stays between us until I can convince her to talk to me again, deal?”
Rose leaps onto the lowest platform of the cat tree and meows. “You like it, then?” Caleb scratches the top of Rose’s head. “I thought you might, but I know why you came running...” He leans down and scoops something off the ground, the bag crinkling in his hand.
Rose goes crazy, meowing and jumping up at Caleb. He chuckles. “I’ll get it, calm down.”
As he turns to the side, I manage to catch a glimpse of what’s in his hand—catnip. No wonder Rose ditched me and her treats for Caleb. I have the good stuff, but he has the better stuff. He sprinkles a little of the nip on her tree and snorts when she dives into it.
“I’m glad you like your tree, though. I thought you could use a place to hang out.” Caleb drops onto his bed and buries his head into his hands, his voice muffled as he continues to talk to Rose.
“I’m exhausted.” He scrubs his hands up and down his face several times before looking up at Rose. I notice dark circles under his eyes and wonder if he’s having a hard time sleeping, too.
“By the way, I’m sorry I didn’t like you when you first got here, cat. I had a bad experience when I was a kid.” Rose ignores him, rubbing her furry, little body through the catnip, occasionally taking bites of it, but that doesn’t deter Caleb. “My grandparents had a cat. I’m convinced it was a demon, too. Maybe cats can become Fallen, because that’s what this thing was. It didn’t meow, it growled. At least, you meow and purr and other shit cats are supposed to do.”
Rose rolls to the side, straight off the platform she was on. She lands with a plop, shakes her little body, then jumps back for more. I cover my mouth to muffle the laughter. She’s the cutest fuzzball ever.
“Anyway, I was only seven, and I thought it was another cute little animal. I tried to pet it, and the damn thing attacked me.” Caleb scoffs, “Can you believe that shit? It wasn’t even a regular cat scratch either. It was several deep gashes on my leg, one of them even needed stitches. I still have the scar to prove it.”
My hands ball into fists, and I lock my muscles to prevent myself from rushing to Caleb’s side. It happened a long time ago, but I want to reassure myself that he’s not hurt. All of my instincts scream to run to him, but I refuse to allow my body to follow those instincts. If I talk to him now, if I touch him, it’ll only cause me more pain later.
The ache in my chest spreads throughout my body again, this time taking my breath away. I hold in a gasp as I back away from his door. Turning on my heel, I race up the stairs at the end of the hall and into the game room. It takes several attempts for me to catch my breath, but the pain doesn’t ease. I shut my eyes tight and give myself a heavy shake, though it does nothing to help.
Desperate for some sort of distraction, I scan the game room, pausing on the bookcase. I scan the titles blindly. Maybe getting lost in a good book will distract me. The words of the books blur, and I squint in hopes of regaining focus.
Sharp pain in my head hits me out of nowhere. I squeeze my eyes closed and press my fingers into my temples. As fast as migraines have hit me in the past, they’re nothing in comparison to the one pounding its way through my brain now. I don’t have time to call for help or even find a place to sit or lie down. The only thing I can do is drop to my knees on the carpet in front of the shelves of books and try to remember to breathe.
I’ve had a few headaches since the last migraine when Dad and Caleb took me to the doctor. I always manage to take the medicine the doctor gave me before they get bad, though. Unfortunately, I had no warning and no time to take the medicine this time. It’s by far the worst one I’ve ever had, if that’s even what it is. It feels like someone decided to perform brain surgery on me without any anesthesia or pain medication.
A loud ringing in my ears prevents me from hearing my own breathing, but I force myself to focus on the expansion and contraction of my lungs. Something touches my back and startles me. The slight movement causes daggers to pierce my skull, and I hold my breath—it’s the only thing I can think to do to ease the pain. Again, something touches my back, but this time, it remains there. I quickly realize it’s someone’s hand, but I can’t see or hear who it is.
Moments later, the hand on my back leaves only to be replaced by someone’s arms as they lift me from the floor. I want to protest the movement, but words won’t form on my tongue. Instead, I zone in on my breathing again. What feels like an eternity later, the person holding me sits down with me in their lap. I don’t dare move an inch for fear I may throw up on whoever it is. The person’s lap vibrates and jostles slightly, and I realize we’re moving. I must be in a car, but I have no idea who I’m with or where I’m going. With the pain in my head only continuing to worsen, I can’t bring myself to care, either. The movement stops after a few minutes, and I’m once again lifted out of one lap and into someone else’s arms.
Without a doubt, I know I’m with Caleb now. I can’t hear or see anything, but my nerves tingle. The pain in my body,
especially my head, eases slightly. I relax into him, unable to help myself. I know for a fact I’ll regret this later, but for now, all I can do is take comfort in his embrace. I need relief from the pain before it kills me. The longer I’m in his arms, the less my head hurts.
“—down on the bed. Then, you can leave.” My father’s voice breaks through the incessant ringing in my ears.
I stiffen against Caleb. I know he should put me down and leave, but I silently beg him not to. It would be better for my sanity in the long run for him to go, yet I’d rather be insane later than miss out on the comfort of his presence now.
“Just let me stay until the doctor tells us what’s going on,” Caleb begs. He tightens his hold on me, and I relax into him. “Come on, Mark, please. I can’t leave her until I know she’s okay.”
“Let him be for now, Dad,” Jaxon adds, making his presence known. He must have been the one who held me during the ride here. “She seems comfortable. We shouldn’t move her if we don’t absolutely have to.”
My dad doesn’t answer verbally, but I assume he gives Caleb the go-ahead to stay with me because rather than pulling away, Caleb slides onto the bed next to me, one arm around my back and the other softly brushing through my hair. The more he touches me, the less pain I find myself in.
A door clicks softly, then I hear whispers from a familiar, male voice, “Mark, what happened?”
I recognize the doctor from my one and only visit for a migraine. His name eludes me, but I know his voice.
“We aren’t sure,” Dad replies.
“We heard her scream and ran up to find her on the floor,” Jaxon adds. “I got to her first. She was curled up on the ground, holding her head. She won’t respond to anything we say to her. We thought about bringing her to the emergency room, but we aren’t sure if it’s Elemental-related or not.”
