Address for Murder

by Tonya Kappes

  “That Carla did it… yada, yada.” It was like Angie’s head was shaking constantly because she’d been shaking it ever since I walked in. “You stick with delivering the mail. I’ll stick with the investigation.” She took a couple of steps back and opened the door. “I’ll let you know if I need anything else.”

  “You don’t want to hear about Carla already poisoning the animals in Sugar Creek Gap? Because Doc Olson told me all about it.” I continued to talk to her, though she faced away from me, as we walked down the hall and back to the door where I’d entered. “Or how Carla wants to win the make-our-city or whatever it is award so bad that she’d kill…”

  “That I’d kill?” I heard Carla’s voice.

  I closed my eyes and turned slightly to where the voice was coming from, hoping that when I opened them, I wouldn’t see Carla standing there in the flesh.

  No such luck.

  “Bernie.” Angie had already opened the door and pointed for me to go.

  “Don’t forget to light up your cart tomorrow.” Carla had to get in the last word before Angie shut the door.

  ELEVEN

  That was not exactly how I thought that would go. I admit I overstepped my boundaries at times, but I had some really good information on my hands, though it appeared Angie had some knowledge of Carla because Carla wouldn’t be there if Angie hadn’t called her in.

  “Don’t forget to light up your cart,” I said in mockery of Carla when I got to the bridge on Short Street, where my duck friend lived.

  The bridge was a walking bridge that went over Little Creek and led to Little Creek Road. I had a duck friend who always greeted me at the top of the street and then again at the bottom. Since Little Creek was a dead-end road, I crossed over the walking bridge that put me between the vet clinic and Social Knitwork. The bridge was a perfect place to head back to the post office to get my third loop of mail.

  I didn’t spend much time with the duck because I was running so late that I knew the front porch ladies would be waiting very impatiently for me.

  Boy, was I right. The four of them practically rushed up the street to meet me when they saw me turn the corner from Short Street. The only thing I began to think about was Mac, and I pulled his mail out of my bag as I met the ladies in front of his house.

  “Where have you been?” Harriette was the ringleader. “I could be a millionaire and not even know it.”

  “That’s a good point.” Gertrude threw her two cents in. “We really want to know if we got the invitations to the bridal shower because we heard June from our bridge club got her invitation, and she’s never picked up a finger to help no one, much less poor Zeke.”

  Poor Zeke? First off, he was not poor, and that man had so many meals dropped off to him when I was delivering his mail that I knew he was far from lonely. Thinking of that made me wonder if I scared Mac off too soon, and then I’d be like these ladies, begging for an invitation to a bridal shower only to get closer to companionship at their age.

  “Let me get Mac’s mail up to him, and I’ll be right over,” I told them. “And to be honest, I didn’t even look at the mail today.”

  “Oh honey, you had better things to do.” Ruby shooed the woman back towards Harriette’s house. “We have some homemade pimento cheese finger sandwiches today. You come on over and grab you a couple.”

  The front porch ladies took their sweet time getting over to Harriette’s house, the entire time watching to see what was going to happen with me. The closer I got to the steps of Mac’s front porch, the more my heart raced. I swear the sweat from my hands were making sweat stains on the mail I was holding.

  A huge sigh of relief swept through me after I slipped the mail through the mail slot and didn’t hear footsteps to come get it. I was very thankful he wasn’t home.

  “Hey.” The voice made me jump around. Mac was in the side yard between his house and Harriette’s house with a spay in his hand.

  “You scared me to death.” I held my hand to my heart.

  “You were trying to get away without seeing me, weren’t you?” He threw the spade on the ground and tugged off his gloves as he walked around the front porch and then jogged up the two steps.

  The front porch ladies had taken their perch on Harriette’s porch but were eerily silent.

  “How did Buster do?” Mac asked.

  “He did fine.” I wasn’t sure where my feelings stood. The sadness I felt earlier had been replaced by anger and now just plain confusion.

  “How is Rowena with him?” he asked in a genuine tone.

  “Fine, Mac.” I grabbed the strap of my mail bag and moved past him to go down the steps so I could get on my way. “Great. Really great.” I turned when I got to the sidewalk leading to his front gate. “Actually, we are all great.”

  I looked over at the front porch ladies. They all snapped their heads forward as if I didn’t know they were watching Mac and me. They didn’t have to tell me that they knew he’d come over and had soon come back home. They knew everything, and I wasn’t sure how.

  “Ladies.” I pinched a smile, took my mail bag off, and put it on the ground. Then I started distributing their mail. “I don’t see Wayne Brady,” I told Harriette, “so I’m guessing you didn’t win Publishers Clearing House, but good news.” I waved her mail in the air.

  “I got an invitation from Zeke?” Her eyes lit up.

  “Nope.” I held her mail out to her. “You got another chance from Publishers Clearing House.”

  “You make fun of me now, but when they do show up with my big ten-foot million-dollar check, I’ll be laughing all the way to the bank.” She snatched the mail from me.

  Millie Barnes was super-quiet.

  “Are you feeling better?” I asked Millie. Her shoulders tensed. Her face hardened.

  “I’m fine.” She spoke in very short, precise words.

  “I was worried about you passing out yesterday at Lee’s house.” I could tell she was definitely not fine. I really cared for these women, as if they were my aunts or other kinds of relatives. They’d been so kind and had become family to me over the past ten years, though I knew them before. It wasn’t until I actually did their mail route that I got to know them.

  “I said I’m fine.” She squeezed her brows together. “Now drop it and eat a pimento cheese sandwich.” She gestured for Harriette to pass the serving tray my way.

  “And give me your mug so I can fill it up with some tea.” Harriette had me dig through my mail bag for my empty thermos in exchange for the tray of finger sandwiches. Then she took the thermos inside her house to fill it with her homemade sweet tea.

  “Go on and tell her, Millie. It ain’t like we don’t know her night didn’t go so well.” Gertrude spewed my suspicions.

  “You tell us first what happened with you and Mac,” Mille responded slowly.

  “I’m not sure Mac likes me for me or the person he knows as Richard’s wife, Grady’s mom.” When I said this out loud, it really did hit home with me. “He doesn’t like me snooping around in Lee’s murder.”

  Millie gave an obvious hard swallow. Harriette broke the tension when she came back out to the porch and handed me my thermos.

  “You’re looking into Lee’s murder?” Ruby asked, easing up on the edge of the rocking chair and used her toe to keep it still from moving.

  “I’m not sure if you knew that Lee had me as Buster’s emergency contact.” When I looked at Millie, she was picking at the sandwich in her hands as if she were trying to avoid me. “I had no idea until Doc Olson told me. I took Buster home with me, and he fit right in with Rowena and me.”

  I couldn’t help but smile. Millie looked up with tears in her eyes.

  “I even brought him to work with me, but you know my parents. They talked me into letting him hang out with them for a few hours.” I shrugged and looked over towards Mac’s house just to make sure he couldn’t hear me, but it appeared as if he’d already gone inside. “I’m afraid Mac doesn’t really embrace
the need I have to help Angie find Lee’s killer.”

  Millie perked up.

  “Did he say that?” Harriette asked through a mouthful of finger sandwiches.

  “He said that he couldn’t take it if I got hurt, so he didn’t agree with me snooping.” Those might not have been his exact words, but it was his exact feelings about me nosing around. “Clearly, I don’t see it as snooping.”

  “You’re not!” Millie found her voice. “You’re embracing your inner Jessica Fletcher. She was a writer. You’re a mail carrier. You do it! You help figure out what happened to my Lee.”

  The silence fell over the group. Millie gulped. She eased back into the porch swing like a turtle going back into its shell.

  “‘My Lee’?” If she thought that slipped by me, she had another thing coming.

  Then it smacked me in the face.

  “Millie, you passed out because you were dating Lee and….” When I saw the sadness cross her face and her shoulders droop, I knew I hit the nail on the head. “I am so sorry. I had no idea.”

  “They only knew because they are nosy.” She pointed to Gertrude, Ruby, and Harriette separately.

  “We can’t help it if we are old and can’t sleep,” Ruby shot back with a snarl.

  “And if you didn’t have the big flashlight leading the way down the sidewalk, I wouldn’t’ve called the sheriff’s office.” Gertrude had called the sheriff.

  I tried desperately not to laugh, but it fell out of my mouth, sending a ripple effect through the rest of the ladies, even Millie.

  “Oh, you should’ve seen her. She thought she was something.” Gertrude got up and pretended she was Millie with a flashlight in her hand, acting out the night they were talking about.

  Even Millie chuckled.

  “We were companions.” Millie threw out that stupid word.

  “Companionship doesn’t extend into the night. We might be old and can’t sleep, but we all fall asleep.” Harriette looked at Millie and smiled. “But we were happy for her and Lee. He was a crochety old thing.”

  “He was very kind to me.” Millie gave a slight smile. “And I’m not surprised you were Buster’s emergency contact. Lee really thought a lot of you.”

  “That’s so kind.” I walked over and bent down in front of her, and then I put my hand on top of hers. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know about your relationship, and if it bothers you that I’m looking into things, I’ll stop.”

  “Heck no!” She jerked her hand out from underneath mine. “I told the gals here that we were all going to look into people, and now that I know you’re on the case, I feel much better.”

  “Yeah. We were all talking about it this morning. That’s why we’ve been waiting for you to get here.” Ruby nodded. “We think you can help.”

  “I can.” I knew Millie could be a great source of information. “But first I have to deliver the mail.” I walked back over to my mail bag, which was empty but for Lee’s mail, and strapped it back across my body. “Can I come over tonight after work?” I asked Millie. “Lord knows I don’t have plans.”

  “That would be perfect,” Millie said, and the gals all looked as though they agreed. “I’ll fix something special for us to eat. We love to eat.”

  “If it’s okay with you, I’ll stop by the diner and grab something to eat. If you don’t mind if Buster comes, that’d be great.” I wanted to make sure, even though Millie was apparently around Buster more than I knew. Still, some people didn’t like dogs. Who were they? I had no idea, but they didn’t.

  “Of course he can come. I welcome it.” Millie rubbed her hands together. “Ladies, we are on the case.”

  The thought that Millie had gone in and out of Lee’s house for no telling how long they’d been dating was going to be helpful for my case. I would be able to get an idea of what Lee really thought of Carla and Luke as well as his thoughts on my less likely suspect, Walter Ward.

  Just out of curiosity, I did want to know how she felt about the hoarding situation. I’d been in Millie’s house a few times over the past ten years. Really, I only went inside the door on especially cold winter days when she needed to sign for something, but the temperature had to be practically freezing for the front porch ladies not to be on their perches. Each one of them had invested in front porch heaters. It also helped that their gossip was so hot that it kept them from freezing.

  Still, Millie’s home was not at all hoarding. Her furniture was pretty outdated, but she was not collecting things like Lee did. I just wanted to pick her brain on what she thought of all that.

  Instead of going down towards Lee’s house, I knew his mail could wait, and there was nothing in there but junk anyway. Besides, yellow crime scene tape was wrapped around his entire front porch. I could only imagine the hissy fit Carla would throw over seeing it. That would surely knock us out of the Make Kentucky Colorful state campaign.

  I headed back towards the top of the street to cross the bridge on Short Street. I knew my duck friend wouldn’t be there because he was already at the other end of Little Creek waiting for me, but I had other plans.

  My plans involved Lucy Drake.

  I had a bone to pick with her, and I was going to pluck her clean.

  WSCG was located on the corner of Short Street and Main Street, across from the courthouse and sheriff’s department. I was switching up my route to go that way so I could head back to the post office and grab my third loop of mail, but Lucy Drake was on my radar.

  The front of the radio station was one big window that showed the guts of the studio where all the station’s programs took place. I generally loved walking by and waving at the DJ on air. Usually.

  When I turned the corner to Main Street, I looked at Lucy Drake. Her back was to the window. She wore big earphones and did a little dance around the studio to whatever it was she was playing on the radio.

  I smacked the glass with a flat palm, causing the glass to reverberate so much it made her jump around with a startled look in her eyes. She shuffled backwards when she saw who I was. Her mouth fell open, and her fingers touched her parted lips.

  “I’ve got a bone to pick with you.” I mouthed and pointed a finger.

  Touching her throat, she turned away and took her earphones off. Then she took the first steps toward her door, and I hoped she was coming outside to see me.

  I waited patiently. I really did. For about five minutes.

  “Bernie!” Sheriff Angie called from across the street. “What are you doing?”

  “Sheriff! She’s harassing me!” Lucy Drake had whipped open the door.

  “Harassing you?” I couldn’t believe Lucy Drake had called the sheriff’s department on me. “I think it’s the other way around, Lucy. You’re calling me names on the radio. That’s harassment.”

  I stalked over to the glass front door of the radio station. Lucy slammed it in my face and locked it.

  “Bernie, this isn’t going to solve anything.” Angie had run across the street. “And you have your uniform on. Lucy could call the postmaster and get you in trouble.”

  “I can call my lawyer and get her in trouble.” I shook a fist at Lucy from the other side of the glass door, just wishing she’d come out and face me. I pulled up on my tiptoes to look over Angie. “You’re a coward! Hiding behind the microphone!”

  Angie grabbed me by the arm and tugged me down to my flat feet.

  “You’ve lost your mind. First”—she got really close to me—“you’re going around accusing Carla of killing Lee. And secondly, you’re trying to start a fistfight with Lucy. What’s gotten into you?”

  “Carla didn’t do it?” I asked as I carefully prepared an argument to tell her why she was wrong.

  “I’m holding her for a few hours. But I’m telling you to drop it or I’ll have you in jail for interfering with a homicide.” Angie didn’t bother standing there any longer. “I’m not going to warn you again.”

  TWELVE

  After I finished my day, I went straight to
the diner, where I sought the food I told the front porch ladies I’d grab before I came over to discuss the murder with them at Millie’s house. I’d texted my dad earlier to tell him not to take Buster home because I wasn’t going right home after work and would pick the dog up after my route.

  Mom had made meatloaf for the front porch ladies and me. It smelled so good, and Buster danced around me the entire walk over to Little Creek Road.

  “What’s that all about?’ Mac stood up from the bushes he was clearing in front of his house.

  “Not what you think.” I nodded toward Millie’s house down the road. By the smile on his face, I could tell he thought I was bringing him something to eat. “Your yard looks great.”

  There was no sense in being mean to him. He was still the same old Mac he’d always been. I just wasn’t the woman he thought I was. Besides, I didn’t want a relationship with someone who didn’t respect who I was, and I wasn’t going to change.

  “Thanks. Carla said she was giving a final inspection tonight.” He laughed.

  “Good luck, I hope she doesn’t poison you too,” I called and didn’t look back.

  Okay. So it was a little jab about what he called snooping, and maybe I was still a little hurt that he didn’t want me, but it was fine. I had the front porch ladies, and probably in the next few years, I’d be one of them. Old. Single. Lonely.

  Ugh.

  “Get in here,” Millie greeted me at the door and rushed me in. “Is that meatloaf?”

  “It sure is.” I handed it to her.

  “I can smell Pat’s special meatloaf every time she makes it over there.” Millie pointed toward the diner, which was literally right across Little Creek from her house. “Me and the gals have already started doing things like we see detectives on the TV doing.”

  When I followed her into the kitchen, I saw she wasn’t lying. Big sheets of white paper with printed-out photos of Lee, Carla, and Luke were taped on her kitchen wall.

  Harriette was busy writing on different-colored sticky notes while Ruby made something on the stove, and Gertrude had her laptop open to social media.