One moment I was laughing and smiling with loved ones filled with such joy, and the next I was experiencing a loss so great that I could scarcely comprehend.
I awoke with a start, realizing I had been crying as tears rolled down my face.
I sat in the dim room trying to recall what I had been dreaming about. It was such a blur to me, as if my mind refused to accept what it had seen because the pain inflicted was just too great for me to grasp.
“I was hoping to find you awake, my love.” Jude’s words interrupting my thoughts. “What is wrong?” Concern furrowed his brows as he sat on the bed next to me.
“I don’t know,” I answered, turning to look at him. “I woke up and I guess I had been dreaming.”
“What was the dream about, ma petite?” he asked, brushing the remnants of stray hair from my face.
“I don’t really remember exactly. I only remember how it made me feel,” I said, while casting my eyes downward.
Placing his finger under my chin, Jude tipped my head up so that I was forced to look him in the eyes. “And how did the dream make you feel, my love?”
“The dream left me with a feeling of dread and apprehension.” Fresh tears began to well up in my eyes. “Please don’t think me crazy, but I think it is a premonition of something that will come to pass.”
“I could never think you crazy, but don’t you think that sometimes a dream can just be a dream?” Jude asked, tipping his head to one side and cocking his eyebrow up.
“Of course, I believe that a dream can just be a dream. But sometimes my dreams are more than just a dream.” I touched his face as I tried desperately to make him comprehend.
“But I don’t understand.” His eyes searched mine.
“I know. I barely understand it myself.” I turned my head and looked out the window as the light began to fade more. “Maybe you are right and it was just a dream,” I said out loud, trying to convince myself.
Maggie entered the room with a lit hurricane lamp to light the sconces and candles.
“Do you want me to come back later, my lady?” Maggie dropped to a curtsy casting her eyes to the floor.
“Maggie, how many times do I have to tell you that it isn’t necessary to look down here? You are like family and I won’t have you acting like someone who is less than human,” I scolded her, my frustration over the dream making me irritable.
“I’m sorry, my lady.” I could see her hand start to shake. It always did when she got nervous.
Climbing from the bed I walked to where she stood. “No, Maggie, it is I who should apologize.” I put my arms around her and gave her a hug. “You had the chance to live a life of comfort and you gave it up to serve me and my family.” I tipped her head up to look at me. “It’s just that I don’t see you or Anna as servants and I want you to stop acting like one. Truth is, I consider you both more like close friends who help me out a lot and I want you to feel comfortable and happy. Can you try to do that for me, Maggie?”
“Yes, my lady, I will try,” Maggie replied, giving me a smile which lit her face clear to her eyes.
“Thank you, Maggie. And to answer your earlier question, no — you do not need to come back later. Could you find Anna for me when you are done? I would like to start getting ready for dinner,” I asked, giving her arm a gentle squeeze.
I turned my attention back to Jude who had settled into a chair by the window. Maggie slipping silently out of the room and quietly closing the door behind her.
“Now, where were we? Oh, yes, I remember what I wanted to ask you,” I said as a smile settled on my lips. Sauntering over to him, I sat on his lap. “Why did you seek me out?”
“I wanted to discuss something with you,” he replied with a suggestive smile on his face. Saying nothing more while he stared at my hair running the silken threads through his fingers then bringing it to his nose, he inhaled deeply.
“Well, are you going to sit there all day smelling my hair or are you going to tell me what you came here for?” I teased.
“I could get lost in you,” Jude answered, his eyes searching my face as if he were trying to see into my soul. “I love you so deeply that the thought of not being with you hurts.” Jude gently placed his hand over my stomach. “I never realized how empty my life had been before I met you. It was as if I merely existed,” he chuckled to himself as he remembered something. “That day you stood up to me on the deck of that ship, so unafraid and ready to take me on, was the greatest day of my life, because it was the day you came into my life.” His impassioned declaration of love touched me to my very soul.
Jude’s crystal blue orbs and handsome face began to swim as my vision blurred, and tears of joy and love fell from my eyes. “And I, my beloved pirate captain, believed that a love such as ours only existed in fairy tales. The truth is the only thing that kept me sane after Darcy kidnapped me was the thought of seeing you again.” I wiped the tears from my face with my hand. “If anything ever happened to you, I don’t know if I could go on.”
Jude reached up, touching my face with the back of his hand, his fingers entwining through my hair, slowly pulling me closer until our lips met. Never before had there been a more passionate kiss shared between two souls as his mouth expressed everything mere words could not.
When he had finished, I knew that my heart could never belong to anyone else other than Captain Jude Deveraux, the Duke of Bayonne. Not in this lifetime or the next.
21
TUESDAY, JULY 25, 1763;
GOING TO THE CHAPEL
HE CURTAINS WERE UNCEREMONIOUSLY OPENED, allowing the full extent of the summer’s dawning sunlight to flood the room in all its glory.
“Get up, you sleepy head. Half the day is begun and you are going to be late if we don’t get started,” Anna announced as Maggie brought a breakfast tray in, the dishes clinking and rattling loudly as she set it on the table.
“What are you talking about Anna, late for what?” I asked in my sleep-induced stupor, rubbing sleep from my eyes and pushing stray hair from my face.
“What were you and Lord Deveraux talking about half the night if you weren’t discussing the wedding?” Anna asked. Then she stopped fussing about to look at me. “Oh!” she said, giving me a sly look. “Never mind, I don’t need the details. I can well imagine on my own.”
“I still am not sure what we are talking about Anna.” I sat up in bed, propping a pillow behind me as Maggie brought me a cup of tea.
“The wedding is today, miss,” Maggie spoke up since Anna had disappeared into the closet.
“What wedding? I wasn’t aware that anyone was getting married today,” I said, setting the cup of tea on the nightstand so that I could climb out of bed.
Putting on the robe at the foot of the bed, I slipped on my slippers and followed Anna into the next room, tripping on a rug in my haste.
“I am talking about your wedding, Angelina,” Anna answered, giving me a queer look as she stopped rustling through a cabinet. Satisfied that the matter was settled, she went back to her task.
“My wedding isn’t until the fifth of August, Anna. Are you feeling all right?” I asked, puzzled and still groggy from sleep. I placed the back of my hand on her forehead to check for a fever.
“Maggie, let the boys know they can bring the hot water up for the bath now,” Anna instructed. Then turning her full attention to me, she smiled patiently, “you are getting married today and I am to get you ready. Those are my orders, and I never argue with the head of the household. It would be bad for my continued employment.”
“But why wasn’t I told about this?” I stammered, trying to get my bearings straight.
“Lord Deveraux came up here last night to talk with you about it. I guess the two of you had better things to discuss.” Again, Anna gave me a sly smile and continued preparing my bath as I followed her back into the main bedroom. “I was told that you were not to be disturbed unless I was called last night. I just assumed you were discussing it.” Anna stopped
and I nearly ran into her. Turning around to look at me, she smiled pleasantly. “Anything you would like to tell me about what you did discuss?” she asked.
I smiled remembering all the things we did discuss and it had nothing to do with wedding plans or today. “No, nothing comes to mind at the moment,” I answered innocently.
“I didn’t think so,” Anna said as she placed towels and soap on the table next to the tub.
I stood watching as the young men came to fill the bath and Anna disappeared back into the other room.
I stepped out onto the balcony to breathe. Filling my lungs with the cool early morning air, it quickly cleared the cobwebs from my brain and steadied my nerves.
The day had dawned bright and beautiful with just a few fluffy clouds floating across the sky. The summer breeze was like a balm to my jangled emotions as I closed my eyes taking several deep breaths. The slight breeze that came up to cool the summer heat from the streets of London was like manna from heaven. The sound of bees buzzing nearby and the song of a meadowlark drifted up from the flower garden below. I could see two young ladies from the kitchen retrieving fresh herbs from the herb box next to the vegetable garden and men worked in the orchard.
Everyone was going about their day as normal, but today was anything but normal for me. Today was my wedding day and my life would be forever changed by it.
I came back into the room in time to see the door closing and Anna standing by the tub waiting patiently for me to appear.
“Maggie, make sure that the water sitting by the fire doesn’t get too hot. It would never do to scald the bride on her wedding day,” Anna instructed.
Taking a piece of toast from the table I bit into it, savoring the sweetness of the honey butter as I made my way to the waiting tub.
Stepping out of my slippers, I draped my robe over the back of the chair and dropped my gown to the floor.
I stepped into the tub promptly submerged myself in the water to wet my hair holding my breath for a count of forty then I sat up and gasped for air.
“For a second there I was afraid you intended to stay under the water,” Anna teased while soaping my hair.
“Now why would I want to do that? It’s my wedding day,” I said, giving her my most brilliant smile. “Maggie, would you bring me the juice on the tray, please?” I sweetly asked.
“Oh yes, my lady, let me get that for you.” Maggie rushed to bring the glass of orange juice. “Is there anything else I can get you?”
“Thank you, Maggie, you are most kind, but I think I am good for the moment,” I said, fixing her with a radiant smile as well, trying to appear calm and collected on the outside even though I was a mass of raw nerves on the inside.
The rest of the morning progressed rather quickly. I moved through the hours in a daze as it all played out like a dream. I wanted to scream “pinch me” so that I could wake up and get on with my day as normal like everyone else. But then I would have to admit that nothing had been normal since the day my ship was seized by a pirate ship captained by a man with seductive blue eyes, who had turned my world upside down.
Let’s face it, would I really go back to life as I knew it, before I met Captain Jude Deveraux? A safe little life based on pretense. Shielded, protected, and locked away in a gilded cage void of love, desire, and passion.
No! I would not trade one minute, one moment or one memory of my life now. Good or bad, each and every recollection is like a truth spoken clean and clear, falling from my mind as the dew drips from a leaf, pure and honest.
22
THE WEDDING DAY; NOT EXACTLY AS I PLANNED
S WE STOOD THERE THAT day before family, friends and God to recite wedding vows in that tiny chapel conspicuously void of the pomp and circumstance normally afforded people of our station, I recall gazing up into Jude’s handsome face memorizing every glorious curve and line that made him unique to me, tears of sheer joy springing to my eyes.
All the right answers recited on cue at the proper moments and, even though we were surrounded by people, I could see no one else but him. As if for that moment in time, no one and nothing but he and I existed.
“I present for all that are here to witness, husband and wife. You may kiss your bride,” the priest announced.
Jude’s hand reached out, touching my dampened cheek, brushing the tears aside. Then pulling me into his embrace, our lips touched softly at first as our kiss deepened to the point the priest was even blushing when we finished.
“I love you with my entire heart and soul,” Jude declared in my ear.
“And I could love no other than you,” I professed.
Turning to our family we received their hugs and best wishes.
“Welcome to the family, Angelina. I look forward to getting better acquainted on our journey home.” Jude’s mother, Genevieve said as she warmly embraced me. “I have been so lonely for female company.”
“Let the girl breathe, my love,” Philippe said as he joined in the hug, nearly squeezing the air from my lungs. “You will call me Father now that we are official,” he insisted, smiling from ear to ear.
I laughed innocently as I got caught up in the moment, squeezing them both. “I will do my best not to forget.”
“May I be the second to kiss the bride?” Jonathan broke in.
“Of course, where are our manners?” Philippe and Genevieve turned loose of me.
“You know that this is not farewell and that you and Sarah better come and visit me as soon as you have finished your honeymoon. I don’t think I could do without my two best friends for long,” I managed to say as my throat constricted.
“I have already been informed of that fact by my lovely bride-to-be. If I didn’t know better, I would think that Jude and I were expendable as long as you and Sarah got to be together,” Jonathan joked, leaning down to kiss my cheek. “Please be safe in the meantime. I would hate to become an only child,” he said, his tone becoming serious.
“I will be fine and waiting for the two of you to come and visit for as long as you want to stay,” I assured him.
“Is this a private moment, or can anyone get in on the tearful good-byes?” Sarah squeezed herself in between us.
“I really don’t know how I am going to make it through my wedding day without my best friend by my side,” Sarah declared with tears in her eyes.
“And I don’t know how I am going to get on that ship knowing that I am going to be in another country when you do,” I said as tears of sadness welled up in my eyes. Sarah and I clung to each other as if we would never see one another again.
“What have we here? I haven’t seen such a display of caterwauling since the two of you were eight years old and found out that you would have to be apart for two months while we went on holiday to Spain,” Jonathan Sr. interrupted.
“Oh, Father, I don’t know if I can do this.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face in his chest.
“There, there, my little angel, of course you can do this.” Patting me on the back just like he did when I was small, Father reached into his suit pocket pulling out his handkerchief. “Now dry your eyes and put a smile on.” Reaching under my chin to tilt my head up, he smiled. “Mother and I will come out for a visit in a few months. You know she wouldn’t miss the birth of her first grandchild.”
“You and mother know already?” I asked as my cheeks darkened.
“We know how these things work, Angelina. After all, how do you think you came into the world?” he replied, matter of fact. “Jonathan and Sarah will be on a ship headed your way in a few weeks and I promise your uncles will stop by when they are able. You will not be alone. I love you and have always felt blessed for being your father. I could not have asked for a better daughter than you.”
“Oh, Father, you are going to make me break down and cry all over again,” I said through the sobs.
“I just want you to know how much I have loved being your father.” His eyes glistened with unshed tears.
; “I am sorry to intrude on you both at this moment, but we have to get going soon,” Jude said hesitantly. “Have you said goodbye to everyone?”
“Where is Mother?” I began to look frantically for her.
“Here I am,” she called, rushing to my side.
“Oh, Mother, I will miss you so much. How will I get through everything without you?” I cried, throwing my arms around her.
“You will be just fine. Anna and Maggie will be with you until I can get there in a few months. I promise I won’t let you go through this alone. You will be fine until then. You have a good strong man by your side. What more do you need?” Mother was trying to be strong as her words cracked and unshed tears welled in her eyes.
“You, Mother, I need you to help me. I don’t know that I can do this now that the time has come to leave.” Suddenly feeling very young and not so wise, I began to doubt myself.
Mother reached over and took a hold of Jude’s hand. Placing my hand in his, she wrapped her hands around both of ours.
“You will be fine. The two of you are so strong together. Never let anything or anyone come between you,” she said with conviction. “I am so happy that you have found someone to love, my little Angel.” Hugging me tightly, Mother kissed my wet cheek then turned to Jude. “And I am so grateful that she found you. Now give us a hug then be off with you both before I start crying.”
“Lady Stewart, you are a very wise woman,” Jude said softly as he leaned down to give Mother a hug.
“I will have none of that. We are family now and I insist you call me Mother or Clarisse, for heaven’s sake,” Mother said, trying to sound stern. But I really think she was trying not to cry.
“Then Mother it is,” Jude replied, flashing Mother his charming smile.
Tapping Jude on the shoulder, Honore interrupted. “Jones just informed me that the tide has turned and is now headed out. I have the two carriages waiting outside when you are ready.” Honore leaned past Jude then touched my arm. “I just wanted to say congratulations to you both. Jude is a mighty lucky man.”
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