“Mama,” I called out in a voice I barely recognized, sounding more like a scared child rather than a grown woman about to give birth to her own child. Reality didn’t hit me until that moment when I heard my mother’s voice.
“It’s all going to be all right, my angel, I’m here now.” Mother’s reassuring voice brought tears of relief to my eyes as I reached out to take her hand.”
“I need Jude. I can’t do this without him.” Tears rolled down my cheeks now as much from the pain of loss of him as from the pain of labor that was rapidly threatening to overtake me.
“I know, my darling, but if he were here now he would only be in the way. Once you are safely delivered there will be time enough to worry about your husband.”
“Ahhh . . . it hurts!” I said, panting through the pain.
“Honore, your assistance please, we have to get her to bed,” Clarisse indicated with a sweep of the hand. “Sarah, Genevieve wash your hands with the hot water. You too, Anna, I will need your help as well.
“Wait!” I said through gritted teeth. “The pain is passing.”
“Perfect, we have just enough time to get you in bed before the next one comes,” Mother said with a serious face. “Honore, if you will help me get her out of the chair.”
When I finally stood upright, I gasped.
“Did I hurt you?” Honore asked.
“No, I don’t think you can do anything to me at this moment that would hurt more than these pains, short of cutting off my head, and even then it might be a blessing,” I said with a wry smile.
“I’m glad to see you haven’t lost your sense of humor,” Honore teased.
“I’m standing here before you in my nightgown in labor and my husband is an ocean away. What’s not funny about that?” I said with anything but humor in my tone as Honore supported me on one side and Mother on the other side.
“Wait! Ahhh,” I said, standing still as another excruciating pain doubled me over.
“Don’t push,” Mother insisted when she noticed my face turning red. “You have to breathe through the pain. Angelina! Look at me.”
Standing at the side of the bed, suddenly a gush of liquid ran down my leg. “Wonderful. Just perfect! Now I have one more thing to add to my growing list of humiliating moments.”
“Don’t worry, that was supposed to happen and consider that it happened now before you climbed into your dry bed,” Mother said, trying to be positive.
“I will take care of that,” Anna said, reaching for extra towels.
“Thank you, Honore, for your help, will you go and check on the doctor?” Mother gave Honore a strange look over my head. “See if you can hurry him along.”
“Certainly, I won’t be long.” Honore seemed to fly from the room, closing the door with a thud.
“Maggie, hand us a dry gown if you would please,” Mother called to her.
“There is one here,” Sarah said, retrieving the gown from the foot of the bed. “Anna thought of everything.”
Labor progressed quickly after that and the doctor did not make it in time. The pain was excruciating, and I thought I would die before a copper-colored head popped out. He filled his lungs and let out a cry that could be heard throughout the halls.
Genevieve took the baby from Clarisse and cleaned him off as Mother started pushing on my stomach like she was searching for gold.
“What are you doing? The child is born,” I said somewhat indignantly, feeling relieved that the deed was done.
“Yes, and you did a truly fine job of it too,” she said, still feeling around my belly. “But I am quite sure that we are not quite done,” she finished by closing her eyes and pushing on the left side of my stomach. “Yes, I am certain we are not done.”
“What do you mean? Ahhh.” I asked doubling over in pain again.
“You are having twins. That is why you were so big.”
“Oh my,” I heard Sarah exclaim as she came back to my side.
“No! I am not doing this again. Never again!” I proclaimed, still feeling the pain from the last contraction.
“You don’t have a choice, this baby is coming one way or another,” Mother said, getting in my face, her beautiful, jade green eyes staring into mine. “Angel, listen to me. The baby is turned slightly and I don’t know how close the doctor is. I need you not to push. You have to breathe like I showed you before. Can you do that?”
“Yes,” I answered.
“Maggie, find out what is keeping the doctor,” Mother ordered.
Maggie never even looked back or answered but ran out the door, closing it behind her with a resounding bang.
Genevieve brought my son to me, placing him in my outstretched arms. His crying had ceased and he looked directly at me with cloudy green eyes wise beyond their years when I spoke to him.
“You are so beautiful,” I cooed at him. Tears welled up in my eyes and I began to cry and laugh at the same time. “What do you think your father will say when he sees all that red hair?”
“He will say what a fine, strong son you have blessed me with,” Genevieve answered, leaning over to hug my shoulders.
“Take him please, Genevieve . . . ahhh.” I laid the baby in her arms as the pain came again. “I don’t have all day for some doctor to decide that it is time to make an appearance,” I said between breaths. “Turn this baby and let’s get on with it!” I let out a bloodcurdling scream of pain.
Sarah grabbed my hand, and Anna bathed my head with a cold wet cloth then handed me a sip of water.
“Angelina, I’m not sure about this.” My mother seemed to hesitate.
“Just do that thing you do when you suddenly know exactly what needs to be done and let’s meet your other grandchild,” I said, impatiently waving my hand about as the pain began to abate.
“Then we should wait for the doctor to arrive because that is exactly what I think we should do.” Concern etching her forehead Mother wrung her hands together.
“There is no time. The baby is coming. Ahhhh,” I gasped in pain. “Do something,” I cried out.
“I’ve seen this done before but you have to listen to me.”
“Anything, just do it. Make the pain stop,” I cried out again in pain.
“Anna give her some laudanum, just a small amount to take the edge off.”
After taking the laudanum, my pain eased some and my head felt lighter. I lay back turned on my side, concentrating on breathing and not pushing. Mother started pushing my stomach and turning the baby in position while Sarah massaged my lower back. Finally, when she was satisfied, the baby was turned enough I began to push. Sarah and Genevieve braced me up from the back because my strength was nearly spent and the laudanum made my head spin.
“Almost there, I can see the head,” Mother cried out, encouraging me on.
“Just a few more pushes, Angie, and we will all be meeting the newest Deveraux,” Sarah said, as the color started to drain from my face. “Don’t give up Angie, you are so close.”
“I just need a second. I can’t breathe,” I said my head began to spin.
“Anna, cold water. Now!” Mother yelled. I could hear the fear in her voice.
“It’s all right, Mother, I just need a drink.” Gratefully, I sipped the cold liquid feeling it run down the back of my parched throat. “There I feel better already,” I said, lying to her.
“The head is there just give me one more big push and . . . she is out,” my mother announced, tears of joy flowing from her eyes as she cradled her granddaughter in her hands placing her on my stomach so I could see her while she tied off the cord. The most beautiful raven-haired baby lay sprawled across my stomach crying, loudly announcing her arrival into the world. I reached out my hand to stroke her arm and touch her tiny finger while relief washed over me.
“Do you have a name for her yet?” Genevieve asked as she cried tears of gratitude for the two beautiful grandchildren.
“Isabella. Jude wanted her named Isabella Monique after his grandmother.�
� I could hear words coming out of my mouth but I felt strange, somehow detached from the entire scene before me and then I fell limp.
I saw the look on my mother’s face just before everything went dark. I floated above everything and saw her yelling and shaking me, but I could no longer hear her voice.
Honore came through the door with the doctor and Father behind him, but after that I saw a light. The warmth of it drew me nearer, giving me comfort and all I wanted was to get closer because I felt so cold. There was a little boy with red hair standing between me and the beautiful light.
“Hello. What is your name?” I asked, bending down to get a better look at him.
“We never really met before. They call me Charlie.” Then putting out his hand, he touched my face and I felt such warmth and joy radiating from him. “I’m your big brother.”
My mind refused to understand at first and then recognition began to dawn on my foggy mind. “But how can this be?”
“I watch over you,” he said, turning his sweet cherub face toward me. “You have to go back. It’s not your time.”
“But I like it here. Everything makes sense now,” I heard myself whine. “Nothing is working out the way that it should.”
“Then you will understand that you’re not finished yet, your story is not completed.” He held my hand as we walked. His words quieted my mind, and I didn’t have the will to argue. “You will see him again.”
I wiped at a tear on my cheek then bent down to hug him. I could feel the warmth of his body as he embraced me then closing my eyes, I felt his child like fingers wipe at the fresh tears on my cheeks. I inhaled and he smelled of spring time after a rain so fresh, and clean. Like pure sunlight.
Slowly Mother’s voice broke through my unconscious mind. “I’m not giving up on you, Angelina. Come back to me. Please!” she screamed. “Do something. You’re the doctor.”
“Alas, Madame, there is nothing else that I can do,” I heard the doctor telling my mother as he washed his hands in a basin next to the bed.
Had I been dreaming? Had my mind been playing tricks on me? I did not know what was happening, except that there was entirely too much noise to sleep. “Why are you screaming at me?” my voice cracked.
Mother looked over at me in surprise then wrapping her arms around me, she sobbed. “I thought you had left me for good,” she whispered in my ear. “I thought for sure you had given up.”
“I saw Charlie,” I whispered back. “He said Jude will come home.”
Mother pulled back gazing deeply into my eyes. “I never had any doubt.”
“Can I have some water now? My throat is really dry.”
Then Mother started crying and laughing at the same time. “Of course, Angel,” she said, patting my hand.
The doctor came over to me, lifting my wrist. He felt for a pulse. “You gave us quite a scare,” he said, looking over the top of his glasses at me.
“You think you were scared? Try giving birth twice in one day,” I said sarcastically. “Can I have some water, please?”
The doctor looked at me with confusion mixed with indignation.
“I think your services are no longer needed, Doctor. May I see you out?” My father said as graciously as he could. “Maybe Cook would be kind enough to put together a plate of something for your long journey back.
“Yes, thank you. That would be most kind of you,” Doctor Morel said as he gathered his things, quickly stuffing them in his black leather bag. He followed my father from the room. Stopping to look back at me one last time, he adjusted his glasses on his nose and shook his head. “Most unusual.”
Anna helped me to sit up, placing pillows behind my back as Mother handed me a glass of water. Genevieve placed my son in my arms wrapped in a fresh blanket as Sarah sat on the edge of the bed with little Isabella cradled in her arms. They had both been washed and clothed in white gowns.
Both babies were small in size but well formed, one with copper tufts of hair and the other with raven locks like her father. Looking into my son’s eyes as he looked into mine, a shiver ran up my back. His green eyes with blue flecks looked back at me with such wisdom. “I want everyone to meet Charles Philippe Deveraux but we will simply call him Charlie.” I looked at my mother as I made the announcement and saw the tears shinning in her eyes.
I motioned for Sarah to hand me Isabella as well. She gently placed her on my lap next to Charlie. I marveled at the two of them laying side by side, my little miracles so different in appearance and yet the same in essence. Isabella, with black hair and jade-green eyes, and Charlie, with his copper-colored hair and blue-green eyes, how beautiful they were.
Bringing them to my face, I inhaled and I swear they smelled of pure springtime and sunlight. My joy was full and my heart overflowed as tears of joy flowed from me freely. I could feel my brother Charlie in the room with me and the last words he said to me, “You will see him again,” made my happiness nearly complete.
“Oh, what a joyful day it will be indeed when your father meets the two of you,” I whispered quietly.
26
THE HOMECOMING
WO WEEKS HAD PASSED SINCE the birth of the twins and we had gotten into a nightly ritual. I would feed one and then the other, cradling them together in bed with me and the three of us would meld into the other. At some point, Anna intuitively knew to quietly move Charlie and Isabella from my bed, placing them together in their cradle in the next room.
The two of them would only sleep if they were snuggled together in the same bed touching one another. Once when they had been crying and inconsolable, Isabella reached out her hand and the mere act of touching her brother calmed her and she fell asleep. After that, I insisted that they be placed together when they slept.
I had fallen asleep after the ten o’clock feeding, determined to care for my children myself without the aid of a wet nurse. Exhaustion was beginning to set in from the constant feedings. If not for Mother, Sarah, Genevieve, and Anna tirelessly taking turns helping with the twins, I would have never been able to survive. They changed diapers and clothes, and rocked the babies to sleep while I rested or ate.
The soft candle light glowed from the night stand next to the bed and I heard Anna enter the room picking up Charlie then walking from the room only to return to retrieve Isabella.
I remember not opening my eyes because I was having the most wonderful dream of Jude. I dreamed that he had returned to me and so vivid was my dream that I swore I caught the scent of him. Like an ocean breeze, tantalizing and strong, the smell of him filled my senses, and I snuggled even deeper into the blankets sighing with pleasure.
I could feel the warmth of him settle in next to me, and I sighed again as his arm wrapped around me in the familiar way he always did when we lay down together. The strength of him and the scent of him filled my being so completely that tears sprang to my eyes, and I cried for a moment.
My longing and desire for him made this dream so real I turned toward the warmth that radiated from behind me. Surely exhaustion mixed with delirium caused my mind to play tricks on my senses.
I opened my eyes just a crack, afraid that the apparition haunting my dreams would fade away in a puff of smoke, leaving me with the realization that it was all just a dream once again.
Instead of fading into a cloud of smoke, like all the other dreams of Jude, I found him there on the pillow next to me. Slowly reaching my hand out to touch his face, his crystal blue eyes stared into mine.
Could this be true? I dare not hope. I held my breath and touched his lips and then his stubble, weary face. It was warm and pliable unlike the dreams before and my heart quickened. “Am I losing my mind? Have I finally lost all touch with reality?” I spoke out loud, certain that my mind was playing me for a fool.
“No, my love, I have returned to you as I said I would.” His blue eyes sparkled with emotion. “I can’t tell you how many times I have dreamed of holding you in my arms again.”
“How is this possible?”
I stammered. “What happened?” Sitting up in bed then getting to my knees to get a better look at him.
“It seems that the mysterious witness against me vanished without a trace. The king had no choice but to set me free. Without a witness, there was no case,” he answered, propping his head on his hand.
My eyes drank in every inch of him as he lay in his trousers and open shirt. My hands started to touch him, examining for anything that might be amiss. “Did they torture you? Were you hurt?” Concern laced my words.
“I am fine.” Taking my hands between his larger ones, he brought them to his lips. “You have been busy in my absence. I return home for the birth of my child and find that not only did you not wait but you gave me two children instead of one.” His eyes searched my face, his humor now replaced with a look of concern. “I should be asking you how you fared.”
“I have been here luxuriating in all the comforts of home while you languished in a dungeon. How can I complain when I feared for your life every single day?” I cried.
Coming up on his knees to kneel in front of me, he wrapped his arms around me to bring me closer, then tipped my head up with his hand. “My accommodations were not so dire, my love, I was treated more as a political prisoner rather than an enemy of the crown. My father saw to that. As for my treatment, well, let’s just say I was not fed gruel and stale bread. I was questioned a few times, but my story never wavered, and I was never tortured. I have all my fingers and toes intact,” he added, displaying his hands as evidence, “as well as all my other parts,” a large smile assured me that he was functioning and ready for action.
Relief washed over me as exhaustion, mixed with gratitude, set in. “As tempting as your randy offer may be, I have been dealing with a couple of starving beasts of my own. They are always ravenous, so if it is all the same to you, I will forgo the home-coming celebration I have been dreaming of.” I touched his face and then his lips with my finger as I searched his face, “Only for a little while, my love.” I laughed, grateful he was home.
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