No such pranks with Charmaine. No blistering fuchsia kisses, no rolling around on the carpet. A month from now it'll be "Stanley! Stan! Honey! I'm here!" in a light, clear voice, a voice without undertones: Charmaine, wearing her blue-and-white-striped shirt, so crisp, with its faint underscent of bleach and its overtone of baby-powder-themed fabric softener.
He wouldn't have her any other way. That's why he married her: she was an escape from the many-layered, devious, ironic, hot-cold women he'd tangled himself up with until then; women too open to being raided by Conor, and by others as well. Transparency, certainty, fidelity: his various humiliations had taught him to value those. He liked the retro thing about Charmaine, the cookie-ad thing, her prissiness, the way she hardly ever swore. When they'd got married they'd pictured kids, once they could afford them. They still do picture them. Maybe that will happen soon, now that they're no longer living in their car.
He keys in the code on his locker, waits for it to flash CLOSED, climbs the cellar stairs, leaves the house. Once outside, he taps a second code into the signal pad beside the door, coding himself out.
Over at Positron, Jasmine and Max must already have changed into the civvies they stored there last month. Now they must be checking out of their prison wings and ditching their orange prison uniforms at the main desk. Very soon they'll hop onto their scooters and make their way to this house. Stan has a voyeur's urge to hide behind the hedge, that cedar hedge he trimmed last week, tidying up the slapdash job done by Max during his last sojourn. He'll wait until they're both inside, then peer through the windows. He's figured out the sight lines, he's left the ground-floor blinds up a crack. If they go upstairs, though, he'll have no option but to set up the extension ladder, and he knows how screechy and metallic that would be.
And what if he falls off? Worse, if Max leans out the window, stark naked, and pushes him off? He doesn't know anything about Max, except from what's implied in that note; also, Max had first choice of lockers, and he chose the red one. He must be aggressive. Stan wouldn't wish to be pushed off an extension ladder by an angry naked man, a naked man to whose rippling epidermis he now adds copious tattoos. Most likely Max also has a shaved head, covered in scars and welts from all the times he's broken men's teeth and jaws with the sheer force of his bullet-shaped skull.
Stan's own skull still has a cushion of sandy hair, but it's thinning, even though he's only thirty-two. He's never used his skull to butt anyone in the mouth, though he's willing to bet Max has. Most likely Max once worked as a bodyguard for some black-jacketed, gold-chained, coke-pushing, girl-enslaving money lord, in his life before Positron. Someone like Conor, only a larger, tougher, meaner, more powerful Conor. On level ground, Stan might be able to hold his own against such a man, but on that ladder he'd be off balance. And he'd land in the hedge, bashing a jagged hole in it, after all his careful trimming.
That asswipe Max is even worse with the hedge than he is with the lawn. Stan found the hedge trimmer in the garage, its blade gummed up with slaughtered foliage. But there's no chance Max is able to focus on hedge trimming, since Jasmine leaps on the poor sod every time she sees him in his leather work gloves and starts pawing at his belt buckle.
All things considered, better not to peer in the window.
SWITCH
It's a beautiful cloudless day, not too hot for the first of August. Charmaine finds switchover days almost festive: when it's not raining, the streets are full of people, smiling, greeting one another, some walking, some on their colour-coded scooters, the odd one in a golf cart. Now and then one of the dark Surveillance cars glides through them: there are more of those cars on switchover days.
Everyone seems quite happy: having two lives means there's always something different to look forward to. It's like having a vacation every month. But which life is the vacation and which is the work? Charmaine hardly knows.
Making her way to the Consilience town pharmacy on her pink-and-purple electric scooter, she checks her watch: she doesn't have much time. She needs to key in at Positron by five-thirty at the latest, and it's already three. She told Stan she had to do some ordering for the prison hospital: that's why she was in a rush to leave the house. The month before last, her excuse was slipcovers - didn't he agree about the slipcovers, weren't they a drab colour, shouldn't they both go and view the selection and put in a requisition for something more cheerful? You can't really tell from a digital image, you have to see them in person. Look, she has some fabric swatches! A floral, or maybe an abstract motif?
Anything along those lines and Stan zones out, and she can count on his not having heard a word she's said. He'd notice her if she were to suddenly disappear, but he doesn't register her much otherwise. Lately he's been treating her like white noise, like the rivulet sound on their sleep machine. This would once have hurt her - did hurt her - but now it suits her fine.
She parks the scooter in the lot behind the pharmacy, then walks around to the front. Already her heart is beating faster. She takes a breath, assumes her bustling, efficient pose, consults her little notebook as if there's something written in it. Then she orders a large box of gauze bandages, putting it on the hospital account. The bandages aren't needed, but they're also not remarkable: no one will be keeping track of gauze bandages, especially since keeping track of them happens to be her own job, every other month.
She smiles in her sunniest manner at Bill Nairn, who's putting in his last hour as pharmacist before shedding his white coat and taking up whatever role he plays inside the Positron Prison walls. Bill smiles back, and they exchange remarks about the lovely weather, then close with goodbyes. She smiles again. She has such guileless teeth: asexual teeth, nothing fanged about them. She used to worry about looking so symmetrical, so blond, but she's come to think of this as an asset. Her small teeth alarm no one: bland is good camouflage.
--
She hurries back to the lot, and sure enough there's a small envelope tucked in under the scooter seat. She palms it, fishtails out of the lot, makes it around the corner to a residential street, parks.
They don't use their Consilience-issue cellphones to arrange these meetings: it's too risky, because you never know what the central IT people are tracking. The whole town is under a bell jar: communications can be exchanged inside it, but no words get in or out except through approved gateways. No whines, no complaints, no tattling, no whistle-blowing. The overall message must be tightly controlled: the outside world must be assured that the Consilience/Positron twin city project is working.
And it is working, because look: safe streets, no homelessness, jobs for all!
Though there were some bumps along the way, and those bumps had to be flattened out. But right now Charmaine doesn't intend to dwell on those discouraging bumps, or on the nature of the flattening.
She unfolds the paper, reads the address. She'll dispose of the note by burning it, though not out here in the open: a woman on a scooter setting fire to something might attract notice. There aren't any black cars in view, but it's rumoured that Surveillance can see around corners.
--
Today's address is in a housing development left over from some decade in the mid-twentieth century: one of the many relics from the town's past. As they've all been informed in the backgrounders, the town that's now become Consilience was founded in the late nineteenth century by a group of Quakers. Brotherly love was what they'd wanted; the town's name was Harmony, its crest was a beehive, meaning cooperative labour. The first industry was a beet-sugar mill; next came a furniture factory, then a corset company. Then there was an automobile plant - one of those pre-Ford cars - then a camera film corporation, and finally, a state correctional institution.
After the Second World War, the key industries faded until nothing was left of Harmony but a gutted downtown, several crumbling public buildings with white columns, and a lot of repossessed houses not even the banks could sell. And, of course, the correctional institution, which was where the inhabitants
had worked, when they'd worked at all.
But now, thinks Charmaine, it's all different. Such an improvement! Already the gym has been renovated, for instance. And a whole bunch of houses are being upgraded - a fresh batch of applicants will arrive any month now to fill them. Or maybe to fill the houses that aren't so upgraded, such as the one she and Stan had lived in at first. There had been plumbing problems; more like plumbing events, since they were bigger than mere problems. There was the time when it rained so hard and the sewage came spouting up through the kitchen sink: that was bigger than just a problem.
Luckily they'd been approved for a transfer; she assumes their Alternates had moved to the new house as well, but maybe not. She hasn't thought to ask Max about that - whether he and his wife once lived in that earlier house. It isn't the kind of thing she talks about with Max.
--
Every month it's a new address: better that way. Luckily there are a lot of vacant houses, left over from when the industries were failing and the lenders were foreclosing, and from that later time when so many houses were standing empty because no one wanted to buy them. Max is a member of the Consilience Dwellings Reclamation Team when he's not living in his prison cell at Positron. The Reclamation Team are the ones who inspect the houses, then tag them either for the wrecking ball and levelling for parkland and community gardens, or else for renovation, so he's in a position to know which ones are suitable.
Max tries to choose the kind of interior decoration Charmaine prefers: she likes pretty wallpaper, with rosebuds or daisies. He does find the ones with wallpaper like that. But in each house they've used, the vandals were there, in the times when they roamed from town to town and from house to house, smashing windows and bottles and drinking and drugging and sleeping on the floor and using the bathtubs as outhouses, back before they had even started the Positron Project.
The gangs and crazies left their marks on the floral wallpaper: scrawled tags and other things. Vicious drawings. Short, hard words, written in spray paint, or markers, or lipstick, and, a couple of times, something brown and crusted that might have been shit.
"Read to me," Max had whispered into her ear, in the first house, the first time.
"I can't," she said. "I don't want to."
"Yes, you do," Max said. "You do want to." And she must have wanted to, because those words were spilling out. He laughed, picked her up, pushed his hands up under her skirt. She never wears jeans to these meetings, and that's why. The next minute they were down on the bare floorboards.
"Wait!" she said, gasping with pleasure. "Undo the buttons!"
"I can't wait," he said, and it was true, he couldn't wait, and because he couldn't, neither could she. It was like the copy on the back of the most lurid novel in the limited-titles library at Positron. Swept away. Drugged with desire. Like a cyclone. Helpless moaning. All of that. She'd never known about such a force, such an energy inside herself. She'd thought it was only in books and TV, or else for other people.
She gathered the buttons up afterwards, pocketed them. Only two had come off. She sewed them on again, later, after her stint in Positron, before returning to the house where she lived with Stan.
She did love Stan, but it was different. A different kind of love. Trusting, sedate. It went with pet fish, in fishbowls - not that they had one of those - and with cats, perhaps. And with eggs for breakfast, poached, snuggled inside their individual poachers. And with babies.
Once Grandma Win had died, Charmaine had to make her own way; it had been thin ice with the cracks showing and disaster always waiting just beneath her, but the trick was to keep gliding. She loved Stan because she liked solid ground under her feet, non-reflective surfaces, movies with neat endings. Closure, they called it. She'd opted for Chief Medications Administrator at Positron Prison when it was offered to her because it involved shelves and inventories, and everything in its place.
Or that's all she thought it would be; but there are depths, as it turns out. There are other duties not mentioned to her at first, there's a certain amount of untidiness, there's navigation to be done. She's getting proficient at it. And it turns out she's not as dedicated to tidiness as she used to think.
It was sloppy to have left that note under the refrigerator. And that lipstick kiss was so tawdry. She keeps the lipstick in her locker; she's only ever used it on that one note. Stan would never put up with her wearing a garish hue like that - Purple Passion is its name, such bad taste.
Which is why she bought it: that's how she thinks of her feelings toward Max. Purple. Passionate. Garish. And, yes, bad taste. To a man like that, for whom you have feelings like that, you can say all sorts of things, I'm starved for you being the mildest of them. Words she would never have used, before. Vandal words. Sometimes she can't believe what comes out of her mouth; not to mention what goes into it. She does whatever Max wants.
His name isn't Max, of course, any more than Charmaine's name is Jasmine. They don't use their real names: they decided on that the first time, without even talking about it. It's as if they can read each other's minds.
No, not minds: each other's mindlessness. When she's with Max, she throws away her mind.
TIDY
That first time had been an accident. Charmaine had stayed behind at the house after Stan left, finishing the final tidy, as she used to do at first, before Max. "You go on ahead," she'd tell him to get him out of her hair, which was pulled back into her housekeeping ponytail. She liked her cleanup routine, she liked to put on her pinafore apron and her rubber gloves and tick the items off her mental list without being interrupted. Rugs, tubs, sinks. Towels, toilets, sheets. Anyway, Stan hated the sound of the vacuum. "I'll just make up the bed," she'd say. "Off you go, hon. See you in a month. Have a good one."
And that's what she was doing - making up the bed, humming to herself - when Max walked into the room. He startled her. Cornered her: there was only the one door. A thinnish man, wiry. Not unusually tall. A lot of black hair. Handsome too. A man who'd have choices.
"It's okay," he said. "Sorry. I'm early. I live here." He took a step forward.
"So do I," Charmaine said. They looked at each other.
"Pink locker?" Another step.
"Yes. You're the red one." Backing away. "I'm almost finished here, and then you can..."
"No hurry," he said. He took another step. "What do you keep inside that pink locker of yours? I've often wondered."
Had he made a joke? Charmaine wasn't so good at telling when people were making jokes. "Maybe you'd like some coffee," she said. "In the kitchen. I cleaned the machine, but I can always...It's not very nice coffee, though." Charmaine, you're babbling, she told herself.
"I'm good," he said. "I'd rather stay here and watch you. I like the way you always make up the bed before you leave. And put out the fresh towels. Like a hotel."
"It's okay, I kind of like doing it, I think it looks..." Now she was backed up against the night table. I need to get out of this room, she told herself. Maybe she could glide around him. She moved to the side and forward. "I'm sorry, I have to leave now," she said in what she hoped was a neutral tone. But he put his hand on her shoulder. He stepped forward again.
"I like your apron," he said. "Or whatever it is. Does it tie at the back?" The next minute - how did it happen? - her pinafore apron was on the floor, her hair had come loose - had he done that? - and they were kissing, and his hands were under her freshly ironed shirt. "We've got a couple of hours," he said, breaking away. "But we can't stay here. My wife...Look, I know this place..." He scribbled an address. "Go there now."
"I'll just tuck in the sheet," she said. "It would look wrong otherwise." He smiled at that. She did tuck in the sheet, though not as tightly as usual, because her hands were shaking. Then she did what he said.
--
That was their first vacant house. It was dim, there were dead flies, the lights didn't work, nor the water; the walls had been cracked and stained, but none of it mattered that first
time, because she wasn't noticing those kinds of details. He'd left first, by the side door. Then, after she'd counted to five hundred as he'd suggested, she'd walked out the front door, trying to look hurried and official, and scootered straight to Positron Prison, where she'd checked in, handed over her civvies, taken the mandatory shower, and put on the clean orange prison-issue suit that was waiting for her. After dinner in the women's hall with the others - it was roast pork with Brussels sprouts - she'd joined her knitting circle as usual, and chatted about this and that, also as usual. But she was sleepwalking.
She ought to have been appalled by herself, by what she'd done. Instead she was amazed, and also jubilant. Had it really happened? Would it happen again? How could she contact him, or even believe in his existence? She couldn't. It was like standing on a cliff edge. It made her dizzy.
At ten o'clock she went into her double cell, where the woman she shared with was already asleep, and there was the reassuring clang of the door and click of the lock. It felt safe to be caged in, now that she knew she had this other person inside her who was capable of escapades and contortions she'd never known about before. It wasn't Stan's fault, it was the fault of chemistry. People said chemistry when they meant something else, such as personality, but she does mean chemistry. Smells, textures, flavours, secret ingredients. She sees a lot of chemistry in her work, she knows what it can do. Chemistry can be like magic. It can be merciless.
She slept that night as if drunk. The next day she went about her hospital duties as briskly as usual, hiding behind the grillwork of her smile. Ever since then she's been waiting: inside Positron while Max inspects vacant dwellings in Consilience; then in the house with Stan, working at her bakery job during the days; she does the pies and the cinnamon buns. Then there's an hour or two of being Jasmine, with Max, on switchover days, while he's going into Positron Prison and she's coming back to civilian life, or vice versa. A vacant house. The anxiety. The haste. The rampage.
The Heart Goes Last Page 6
