He gives me a tight nod and pours. “Do you really believe that?” he asks as he hands me the full glass.
“I’ve always thought it. She just confirmed it,” I shrug.
“Come on, let’s go and chill beside the pool. It’s still hot out.” I stand up a little too fast, and I reach out and rest my hand on the countertop, steadying myself.
“Woah!” Logan envelops me. “I’ve got you, baby.”
My focus is back. “I’m fine. I stood up too fast.” His arm snakes around my waist and I look up at him, “I love you.”
He gives me one of those panty-dropping smiles, “Love you too, baby.” He leans in and kisses me, and it’s a kiss I’d like to follow through with, but I know Lucas wants to talk, so my hormones will have to wait a little while longer.
As soon as we’re out the back, the boys lay down on the lounges beside the pool a few feet apart, and Logan pulls me into his lap.
Logan
“Did she say where she was going?” I ask Lucas.
“She said she was going home. She took my car.”
I grab my keys off the table, she can’t be alone. I wish she’d have told me she was leaving. I would have gone with her. “I’m going, you coming?
“Yeah, I want to see if she’s okay. Celeste was a fucking bitch to her.”
“I’ll try calling her. My gut tells me that she didn’t go home.” I dial her number, but she doesn’t answer, and I’m starting to worry. I know she hasn’t gone home, despite telling Lucas that’s where she was headed. My girl likes to drive away her frustration. It calms her and helps clear her head.
I text her a couple of times and with each passing second that I don’t hear back from her; my body becomes tense. Then finally, my phone beeps, and it’s a message from her. “Thank fuck,” I let the air I was holding go.
Hayley: I’m fine.
I call her again, and she answers. “Where are you?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know where I am. I started driving and pulled into a park,” She’s been crying. I could kill Celeste, and I almost did back at the house. “You need to focus on your family, don’t worry about me, I'm all right.” My heart aches for her. She’s alone, and she has my mother’s words swirling around in her head.
“You are my family, babe,” I whisper. I couldn’t love her more if I tried.
“I’ll go home soon. I just need some time.”
“Let me come to you. I’ll bring Lucas, and he can drive the car back.” Lucas nods in agreement. He doesn’t want her to be alone
either.
“No, I can’t have you always saving me, I need to work through this. I’ve got to go. I love you.”
“Fuck!” I scream.
“What happened?”
“She hung up. She fucking thinks that she’s a burden on us. That couldn’t be further from the truth. She fucking saved our whole family today, and she thinks that she is the burden.” I run my hands through my hair, frustrated.
“Don’t stress, bro.”
I look over to Lucas and see him pull up a map on his phone. “What are you doing?”
“We’re going to go to every fucking park in a fifty-mile radius and find her. She shouldn’t be alone. She’s been alone way too much lately, thanks to Celeste. It’s her turn to heal.”
“You are so fucking wise sometimes.”
“Only when it comes to the people I love. Start the car. We need to find her.”
ELEVEN FUCKING PARKS later, and I spot Lucas’s car parked in the lot. “She must have fallen asleep.”
“She’s had a lot going on. It doesn’t help that you haven’t been able to stay at her place. She doesn’t sleep well when you’re not there.”
I pull the car to a stop beside her. “How the hell do you know?” I ask as I unclick my seat belt.
“When you’re not around, we talk.” He shrugs. “It isn’t all jokes. We get serious, BTW, you may need to bail her out of lock-up soon. She’s about to go ape-shit on Ashleigh’s ass. That bitch has been filling Hayley’s head with so much shit.”
Fuck, I knew she’d been on Hayley’s back since I haven’t been around lately, but the bitch has gone too far. “Why does she talk to you, and not me?” I hold up my hands in defense. “I’m not bitching, I’m glad she talks to you, but why not me?” I’d do anything for her, why won’t she just let me in?
He sits back in his seat. “She knows you’re holding back on things you should probably tell her, too. She can see how stressed you are, and she doesn’t want to burden you with her crap as well.”
I move my gaze to the truck beside us. I can’t see her well enough to know if she’s asleep because the tint on the window is dark, but I’m positive she is, or she would have already wound down a window.
“You’re going to have to tell her about Callie, bro. Because if you don’t, and she finds out from someone else, she’s going to think that something is going on between the pair of you.” My eyes meet his, I know he’s right, but for the moment, Hayley doesn’t need the added pressure.
“Come on,” I hop out and move towards the driver’s side door of my brother's truck. I only tap lightly on the window, but it still scares the shit out of her. The second she sees that it’s me, she unlocks the door, and I open it.
“How did you find me?” She's been crying, I can see it in her eyes.
“We started checking parks, eleven later, and here we are,” I shrug. I’d have gone to every park in the United States if that’s what it took to find her.
“You need to be with the others. Not me.” Why does she always put everyone else ahead of herself?
Lucas slides in beside her. “Wanna get drunk?”
“I really do.”
“Good. I filled his trunk with booze,” he points to me. “Your place?” he asks her. I wasn’t planning on going back to our house until it’s been fixed up. That and I don’t want to be apart from Hayley.
“Come on, baby. Let’s go home,” she’s still so tired. Between not sleeping much over the time I’ve had to stay at home to deal with Celeste, to her having to spend half of last night pulling together the intervention, she hasn’t had much rest, at all.
As soon as we’re in the car, I take her hand in my free one and gently squeeze it. Shit, I’ve missed her. “Are you okay?” I ask.
“Can we not talk about today until I’ve had a drink? I’ve done too much fucking sooking as it is. I’m too tired to do anymore, just yet,” she sighs.
“Anything you want.” What I want is for her to unburden herself, but if Lucas is right, then she might not. She’s worried I’m going to snap, all of a sudden, and I don’t blame her for thinking that way because I know she’s right.
AFTER WE'VE ARRIVED at Hayley's house, and we're settled in with drinks in hands, I decide to broach the subject again. “You okay?”
She nods. “Yep. Or I will be, I don’t know.”
“Don’t let what she said, get to you,” Lucas tells her.
“It’s true, though. She wasn’t lying. She was stating a fact.”
Does she honestly believe my mother's vile words? I’d never use her for sex. Ever. “You think I’m only with you for sex?” I question as my hand drops from her waist.
A moment later, her eyes meet mine. “No, that’s not what I agree with. She wasn’t lying about my family. You, I know are with me because you want to be." Thank fuck for that. “If my parents loved me, then maybe, they would be here.” She looks away from me and asks Lucas to top off her drink. I could kick her useless parent’s asses right now. They have the most amazingly bright, and caring daughter, yet they leave her to fend for herself, for months at a time. Do they not know how incredible she is? Or are they just too selfish to give a fuck? Either way, I’m pissed off.
“Do you truly believe that?” Lucas asks as he hands her the glass.
“I’ve always thought it. She just confirmed it." She shrugs.
“Come on, let’s go and chill beside the pool. It�
�s still hot out,” he suggests.
When Hayley goes to stand, I notice that she loses her balance, so I help steady her. “I’ve got you, baby.”
She looks up at me. “I’m fine. I stood up too fast.” That smile. I love that smile. “I love you.”
“Love you, too.” I lean in and kiss her.
As soon as we’re outside and beside the pool, I pull her into my lap on the lounge, under the umbrella. It’s just after six in the evening, and the sun won’t be out much longer, but it's still hot out here.
“Okay, I’ve had enough booze to be able to deal with shit. Tell me what happened at the house, after I left,” Hayley asks.
“It can wait, I don’t want to bring you down, babe.” I kiss her shoulder. She doesn't need to hear more negative bullshit. She's already done so much for us as it is.
She shakes her head. “Nope, let’s get it over with.”
Lucas jumps in, saving me from voicing my opinions. I don’t want to have to go through it all over again, especially after my mother drained me, emotionally, this morning.
Lucas looks positively giddy. “Holy shit. Okay, so, when you left, and Logan threatened to have Stef kick Celeste’s ass, she mellowed and she finally took a seat. Let me tell you, she was pissed as hell when she found out who Carol was and why she was there. I thought Celeste was going to bolt. She told us that we're all a bunch of assholes and that if we’d just asked her to stop drinking, she would have taken it upon herself to get help on her terms.” Lucas rolls his eyes.
Hayley shakes her head in disbelief. “Carol told me and your dad she’d say that. Apparently, it’s only a tiny margin of those people that do go on to help themselves, and that we weren’t to believe her even if she promised us she would.”
My arms tighten around my love. I’m so mad at Celeste.
Here Hayley is, trying her hardest to help my mom with her addiction, and her relationships, and all she received in return, was a proverbial slap in the face.
She leans into me, and I kiss her cheek. “After Stef told her she'd never contact her again if she continued to act like a child, Celeste was silent. Oh, and then there was the kicker. Logan told her that he also wouldn’t ever have anything to do with her if she didn't take the help offered to her, the tears started. In the end, she knew she’d been defeated, and finally, she agreed to leave with Carol.” Lucas shrugs.
“So, what happens now?” Hayley asks.
I lean in, kissing her cheek. “She doesn’t come home until she can prove that she will change. Dad's promised to put the divorce on hold for now, and he won’t proceed if she stays sober. Dad loves her. He loves her so much that he couldn’t stand back and watch her kill herself, hence the divorce.”
“Good. From what you guys have told me, they sounded pretty damn happy together before the alcohol became such a huge part of Celeste's life.” She raises our joined hands and tenderly kisses my palm, she knows what that does to me. She knows that her lips and my palm make me ache for her.
Abruptly, Lucas stands. “Alright bitches, I’m out of here. Toby’s got a massive party happening tonight, down at the beach. I take it you two will be staying here?”
Hayley shifts until her eyes are on mine. “You can go. I really am okay, I’ll just go to bed.” She's sincere, but I’m not planning on going, not after Lucas told me she hasn’t been sleeping. I need to try and get her to open up to me.
“Nope,” I shake my head. “Not going anywhere.”
“Peace out. I’ll go back to our place if I hook up,” Lucas tells me as he approaches. He then leans in and kisses Hayley’s cheek.
“If you hook up? You’re being modest. I think it’s more a question of how many of those hookups will end up back at yours,” she laughs.
“What can I say, modest is my thing.” He shrugs.
“Bye, fuck face,” I call as he walks away from us.
“Are you sure you don’t want to go? I'm just going to head up to bed,” she asks as she laces our fingers.
“Nope. We can go to bed if you’re tired, babe. Thanks to all the shit going on, I’ve barely slept.” She opens up more for me when we lie in bed, facing each other.
“Come on,” she stands and waits for me.
Once we’re upstairs, she strips down to her bra and panties and climbs into the bed. I follow suit and snuggle up against her, resting my leg between hers. This is when I’m at my happiest. Laying here with her is what I’ve missed the most over the past few weeks.
“Are you really okay? You still seem down.” My hand rests on her hip bone. Lucas was right, I need to tell her about Callie, but tonight isn’t the night. She’s had enough shit for one day.
She lets go of a long breath she’d been holding onto. “I think so. I won’t lie, what she said did hurt me. It brought all the feelings I’ve spent the last two years burying, up to the surface. My parents simply aren’t here because they don’t care enough about me.”
Her father’s in town next week, and before I hop on the plane, and head to New York, he’s going to be told how he's hurting his only daughter, whether he likes it or not. I know it will probably fall on deaf ears, but someone needs to stand up to him. Her mother will be my next target. Sure, Toni calls Hayley and checks up on her, but just like her father, Toni is constantly absent in her daughter's life. “I’m here, and I’m with you because I care. Fuck them. Honestly, I don’t know how they can just up and leave you all the time."
“Me either.” She moves closer, tucking her head under my chin as my arms envelop her, pulling her until she’s flush against me.
“Hey, what were you and my dad planning before Carol showed up? He told me I had to ask you because he wanted you to tell me.”
She chuckles. “That man is such a sweetheart.” She pulls back to really look at me. “I’d forgotten about it until he mentioned it this morning. Do you remember when my father was home last time and we had that huge fight?”
“The one where he told you to stay away from me, or you’d be out on your ass?” Fucker. He’s never around, but that’s the part he wants to play over the few days he’s home every other month.
She gives me a slight nod. “That’s the one. After that, I’d called Stef because I was stressed, and after I’d hung up from her, she called your dad. Anyway, he then face-timed me and said that if dad did kick me out, or if I just wanted to walk away, he would move your mother out of the house so I could move in.” My eyes widen. I had no idea. “I know, it’s a stupid idea,” she says before burying her head.
She thinks I don’t want her to, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. “Hey,” I tuck my finger under her chin and tilt her head back. “I was surprised in a good way. I think it’s a pretty fucking perfect idea. When the house is fixed up, why don’t you just move in?” With Celeste gone, we can be together all the time and not have to be apart when her asshole father decides to come to town. Fuck, he hates me, and the feeling is mutual.
Hayley
Does he really want me to move in with him? “I don’t know. Then there’s the bullshit that would go down with my father if I did leave. He doesn’t do anything for months at a time, but if it involves you, he’ll be a huge fucking pain in my ass.”
Logan shrugs. “Fuck him. You’re eighteen, babe. There isn’t much he can do.”
He has a point. “Are you sure it’s what you'd want? Right now, you have somewhere to go when you need to be alone. My moving in would affect the others in the house too. I don’t want to be in the way. Here, I don’t piss anyone off.”
He comes closer, and his mouth closes over mine. Once we’re breathless, he pulls away. “I don’t know what the fuck those parents of yours have put in your head, but you moving in, would be fantastic. Lucas is the only other person that stays at that house now that Celeste is gone, and he pretty much lives here with you anyway. We both do. The only thing that will change is the location. Instead of us always being here, we’ll be over there.”
I take a m
oment to think about it, and I wholeheartedly agree with his reasoning. “I’ll see how dad’s visit goes next week, and I’ll take it from there. I know he’s going to completely cut me off if I do leave.” He will. My father will cancel my cards, and the only way I’d survive is if I could get my mother to release my trust fund. God, I’m beginning to feel sick.
Logan's hand cups my cheek. “Money is the last thing you should be worrying about.”
I shake my head. “Nope, I’m not taking your money.” I won’t.
He lets out a sigh. “Remember when I told you this morning that you'd already be my dad’s daughter-in-law if it were up to me?”
Butterflies are fluttering around in my stomach. How could I forget? The man I love with my all told me he would marry me now. Before college, before moving in together. Of course, I remember. “Yes,” I whisper.
“Well, when my grandfather was on his deathbed a few months ago, and we’d only been together a couple of weeks, he asked one thing from me. I had to make one promise,” he kisses my cheek.
Rubbing my nose along his strong jaw, I ask, “What was the promise?” I run my hand down his waist, inching my body closer to his.
Logan kisses my forehead while sliding his hand over my hip until it’s on my ass cheek.
As he squeezes, he pulls me even closer. My eyes roll back into my head when his hardness rubs against me, and I’m finding it very difficult to concentrate. “He knew I loved you, he knew we’d stay together, forever, but he made me promise I wouldn’t get married until after I'd finished college. He didn’t want me to be distracted. At the time,” he nudges my bra strap off my shoulder. “I was so consumed with sadness that I made that stupid promise. One I wish I could take back. Because I would marry you right here, and now, if I could.”
I choke up. He really does love me that much. I have no words, so I just kiss him with a force that tells him how much I truly love him.
He had me naked in a matter of moments, his lips exploring every single inch of me. Logan moves me until I’m on my back, kissing between my breasts. When his tongue darts out to taste my nipple, I let out a shaky breath, my hands now lost in his hair, using it to keep him there.
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