Broken

by Teigen Harper

  “Lie down with me?” I almost beg.

  “Honey, you just had major surgery,” he whispers.

  Pointing to where I was stabbed, I tell him, “They operated on this side, not this one,” I then point to the left side of my body. “Lie with me, please?” I need to have him close to me. I need to know we’re a team again, that nothing will ever separate us again. Not even when he goes away to New York for his job. We can do this, I know we can.

  Thanks to the morphine, I was able to shuffle aside to give him some room. When he lays down, his face beside mine and his hand gently cupping my cheek, I tell him, “I’m sorry I was such an ass.” My eyes close in shame.

  “Hey, I need you to look at me baby,” he coos. Slowly, my eyes open and are met by his. “I did try to tell you about Callie a few times, but something always got in the way. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry I left so many things unsaid.”

  Sure, I know deep down that he wouldn’t do anything to deliberately hurt me, but he needs to stop wrapping me up in cotton wool all the fucking time for this relationship to work. “I was hurt, so hurt, still am. I had to hear it from that bitch, instead of you. I was hurt because the thought of someone else being pregnant with your child made me so fucking mad and sick, all at the same time.” And it did, I felt expendable. “Don’t get me wrong, that is something I won’t be ready for, for a long time, but it’s just so intimate. You probably don’t get it because you’re a guy, but-” he cuts me off.

  “I get it, baby.” He kisses me. “On my way back here, I thought about how I would have felt if the situation was in reverse, and I knew I’d be mad. I knew I’d want to kill the guy. We’re definitely not ready for that, but I wouldn’t want to have a family with anyone but you. You’re it for me, babe, and no matter what happens, even when I have to go to New York, I will only want you. I'm only leaving here so I can set our future. As selfish as this is going to sound, I wish you were coming with me. I don’t want to have to go weeks at a time without seeing you.”

  My mind moves to all those women. Those women who are so hot in comparison to me. “What happens when you do leave? What happens when I don’t see you for weeks, and some whore throws herself at you? What then? I’ll be at school worried? I just want you to have an out. I want you to walk away now, instead of later.” I hold my breath. He deserves to know how I feel. He deserves this opportunity.

  Logan moves beside me until he’s resting on his elbow, his beautiful face looking down at me. “They’re not you. We could be apart for months at a time, it wouldn’t matter. You are my love. You will be the one I marry. You will be the mother of my children. I don’t need random women, I need you and only you. We’ll make it work, I don’t know how, but we will.” Again, he leans in and kisses me.

  Chapter Nine

  Logan

  Hayley was in the ICU for three days and was then moved to a private room. The only time I left her was when I had to go to training. As much as I didn’t want to leave, she kept telling me that my future would be on the line if I didn’t, and that would be when I’d remind her that it was our future, not just mine.

  Toni showed up the day after I’d called her from the emergency room, and when she first saw the condition her daughter was in, she was devastated.

  When I had to leave, reluctantly, she would come and sit with her. “So,” Toni says to me as she sees me just outside of Hayley’s room. I hadn’t wanted to go to practice today, but Hayley pushed me, and she wouldn’t cave.

  “Yeah?” I press. I’ll lose my shit if she tries to keep me away from her daughter after she goes home. Toni's been hinting that she alone wants to care for her daughter. I need to be with her. I’m the reason Hayley’s in that hospital bed. I’m the reason her life is shit at the moment, but I will do everything I can to help her press on and keep assholes away from her.

  Toni, proceeds, “I know Hayley’s living at your house now, but until she is better, I would like to take her home with me.” Her short blonde hair is uncharacteristically disheveled, and she hasn’t taken the time to apply her makeup. Anytime I encounter Toni, I’m always taken back by how much she and Haley look alike.

  Maybe she is concerned about her daughter? Who knew? It’s not that I dislike her, it’s that she consistently leaves her daughter. It’s never made sense to me. I know Hayley will be the mother of my children, and I also know that she will never leave them. Not if she can avoid it.

  “That’s something you’ll have to talk to her about. She can make her own decisions, she has for a long time now, Toni.” I’m not trying to be an asshole, but her absence still pisses me off at times.

  She nods in understanding. “I’ll talk to her.” She reaches up and places her hand on my shoulder, “Is everything between you two okay now?”

  My lungs fill with air. “I think so. She hasn’t told me to fuck off.” I shrug.

  “You’re good together.” She smiles. “I see how much you love her. All will be okay in the end.”

  “Is it okay if I see her now? She was still asleep when I left?” I ask.

  Toni moves to the side, “Of course, you can.”

  My hand reaches out to open the door as I brush past her. When the door opens, Hayley’s blue eyes shift to meet mine, and a smile soon follows. “Hey, how are you feeling, honey?” I ask as she pats the spot beside her on the bed.

  The moment I lay down beside her, I press my lips to hers. She’s still pale, but she doesn't need as many pain killers as she had while she was in the ICU. As I pull away, her eyes flutter open. “I’m okay. Sore, but okay. How was practice?” she snuggles her head into the nook of my neck.

  “Same shit different day.” I turn and kiss her forehead as she laces her fingers with mine.

  “I love you,” she whispers.

  “Love you too, baby.” My free hand moves to the skin of her arm. “Your mom’s trying to take you home with her. Is that what you want to do?” Please say no. Please say no.

  Hayley takes a breath. “I want to go with her.” My eyes close, I really have fucked up, and she doesn’t want to live with me anymore. “Hey,” she urges, and I open my eyes again. “Only if you’ll stay with me. It won’t be long before Toni has to leave for work again, but it would be nice to be with my mother for a couple of weeks.”

  Does she think I’d say no? If she does, then she’s very mistaken. “If you really want me to stay, I will. I don’t want to get in the way.”

  She lets go of a chuckle. “I’m not going without you, babe. As much as I want to be with her, I want to be with you more.” Thank fuck for that.

  “It’s settled, I’m going with you.” I pull my phone out of my pocket, “We can make a list of the things you want from the house, and I’ll send it to Stef. I’d send it to Lucas, but he’s pretty useless at this stuff.” I kiss her cheek and begin to make a list.

  Hayley

  The following Saturday I was desperate to go home, but Logan had Abby come and sit with me while he went to practice. “So, how are thing’s between you and Logan?” she asks as she plays with the nurse call button.

  “We’re better, so much better. I won’t put the ring on, though. I don’t think I’m ready for that yet, but we’re doing well. He’s coming to stay with me at mom's when I’m discharged later today.” Slowly, I manage to stand.

  Abby drops the buzzer and stands. “Where are you going?” her hands are on her hips. She’s worse than a dictator.

  “You are going to help me shower. I can’t have one more sponge bath. I need to be clean.” I move towards the wardrobe where my clothes are hanging.

  “Go into the bathroom, I’ll get your clothes, and I’ll wash your hair. But I want you to sit in the shower chair. I don’t care if it makes you feel like a cripple. You can’t stand for too long, or you’ll faint on me. I can’t have that.” Abby arrives at the closet before I do. But then again, a freaking turtle could beat me right now.

  “Thanks, Abb’s.” She isn’t wrong, my hea
d already feels light, but I avoid the mirror at all cost. I don’t want to see the hideous scar I now have running down my side. It’s a scar I’ll have to live with, but that doesn’t mean I’ll ever embrace it.

  ONCE I’M CLEAN AND wearing a loose-fitting, white dress, slowly I leave the bathroom, taking one step at a time, desperately trying to keep myself upright. When I look up, I see that Logan’s back from training and already packing my belongings. He’s as eager as I am to get out of this sterile environment. “Are you in a hurry?” I chuckle.

  Turning to face me, he drops my clothes he was holding and comes over to me. “Do you feel okay being up?” he asks as he leans in and kisses me.

  “I need to sit down,” he slips his arm around my waist, leading me over to the bed where he helps lower me until my butt rests on the edge.

  When I’m comfortable, Logan kneels on the floor in front of me, but my head moves down until my forehead rests against his.

  “Have the doctors been in?” he asks, his hand's cups mine in my lap.

  Shaking my head, I respond,

  “Not yet. How was training?”

  “The usual. Do you feel well enough to go home?”

  My shoulders shrug, “Pain-wise, they have it under control and will be sending some pain killers home with me, but I am dizzy. The doctor told me to expect it when I stand until I’m fully healed.”

  He pushes up on his knees, pressing his lips to mine. “I don’t want you to worry about anything, okay? I want you to rest and get better.” I try to smile, but there’s so much going through my head. “What is it? What are you worried about?” he asks with his face still close to mine.

  Taking a breath, I answer, “Everything. After all this shit, I doubt I’ll still have my scholarship. I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do.” I’ve been worried for days. So much has happened recently and I haven’t been as dedicated to swimming as much as I’d once been.

  Logan's hand raises, and he cups my cheek. “I called your coach, and he said that you were to take as much time as you needed to heal because he knew you would be okay and that you would be back in the water. Don’t stress; everything will fall into place.” Leaning back in, he presses his lips to mine again, and I physically relax.

  “Thank you,” I sigh.

  Logan

  When she was given the okay, I sent Toni ahead of us to get Hayley’s room ready for her. I wanted to be the one to take her home. It’s my job to make sure she gets there safely. I help her up and into the passenger seat of my car. When I move around the car, I climb in behind the wheel, but before turning on the car, my gaze meets hers. “Are you in any pain?”

  She nods, but when she sees me take hold of the door handle, ready to race back upstairs to get a nurse or a doctor to give her something for the pain, she stops me, “I just want to go home.” Her hand reaches over the console for mine, and I give it to her.

  ONCE WE ARRIVE AT HER mother’s house, I move around the car and open the door. When I offer to carry her upstairs, she pouts, “I’m only saying yes because I don’t want you spending the next hour patiently following me upstairs.”

  “I’d follow you all day,” I laugh as I slip my hands behind and underneath her. Hayley rests her head against my chest, and her hands are around my neck.

  When we’re inside, I lay her out on the bed, and she asks me to lie next to her. I can see how tired she is from the journey home. Not wanting to upset her, I lay down on my side facing her. “Are you hungry?” I ask as I lace our fingers.

  “Nope.” She responds, shaking her head. “I’m too tired to be hungry. I love you.” Her hand squeezes mine.

  “Love you, too. Close your eyes. I’m just going to go unpack the car and find where your mother went to,” I tell her as I move forward and kiss her. “I’ll be back soon,” I assure her.

  TO MY SURPRISE, TONI acted like a mother that cared for her child. Hayley’s father Henry tried to contact her, but Toni and I managed to block all communication.

  As much as I wanted to bring the asshole down, Lucas and I decided that the plan to destroy him should remain on the back burner until Hayley was well.

  Not long after the stabbing, my father, Thomas, reluctantly went back to work. Stef also flew back to New York, taking Lucas with her. Another family session had been planned at the treatment center my mother was a patient at.

  Apparently, Celeste was improving and had been physically upset when she heard what had happened to Hayley, but I wasn’t ready to face her. The horrible things she’d said and done to the woman I love, are still at the forefront of my mind. No one will ever treat her with such disrespect again.

  Six weeks after the stabbing, the doctor told Hayley she could start back at the gym, but only if she promised to take it easy.

  Making sure she didn’t push herself, has been my only mission over the last few weeks. Well, that and making sure no asshole she hates, had the chance to come near her.

  That night, when she snuggled into me in bed, her lips move to my neck, and that was all it took for me to want her. I’d managed to keep my promise to myself since she was discharged. I'd promised myself I wasn’t going to press her for sex until she had the all-clear, but let me tell you, it’s been so fucking hard.

  Hayley’s been horny for two weeks now, and although she understands why I’ve kept my hormones at bay, it doesn’t mean she’s liked it.

  Hayley

  I’d missed our closeness. I know he’s worried about me, but right now, I’m horny. When Logan’s head turns, I kiss his neck, but it’s not enough. Now that the doctor has given me a clean bill of health, Logan might just cave under my touch. At least, I fucking hope he will.

  Quickly, he has me on my back, his body hovering over me, his mouth crashing onto mine. My body presses up against his, my leg draping over his using it to hold him even closer to me.

  His hands caress my skin, and all I can think of is how much I’ve missed those hands. My lips and tongue explore his. “I love you,” he whispers as he right before his lips find mine again.

  Logan

  The next morning, Lucas comes over for breakfast. Hayley had decided she was finally well enough to hand over all the findings Gary, our private investigator had dug up to her mother.

  “Okay, who wants eggs and bacon?” Toni asks.

  “We all will, including this daughter of yours that will try and eat only yogurt,” I tell Toni, while Hayley scowls. “Love you, too,” I chuckle as I lean in and kiss her cheek.

  But when I see Lucas’s plate, I shake my head. It’s piled high with pancakes, bacon, eggs, and toast. “You’re jealous,” he says around a mouthful of pancake.

  “What the hell am I jealous about?” I scoff.

  “I get to eat all of this, and you don’t, Mr fancy baseball star,” he laughs.

  I try to hold back my laugh, but it escapes. “Anyway,” I deflect, “What are your plans for the morning, Toni?” I question as she places two eggs and two strips of bacon in front of Hayley.

  When she’s placed the pan back onto the stove, Toni looks up at me. “I was going to take Hayley to get a mani-pedi, why?”

  “Well,” I shift my gaze to meet Hayley’s, and she gives me a nod. She wants to go ahead with the plan to take her father down a notch or two. “Before Ashleigh did what she did,” I squeeze Hayley’s hand. “We hired a PI to follow and dig up dirt on Henry. There's a lot of it. A lot that will help you keep everything you've worked for.”

  I can’t decipher Toni’s reaction. Her eyes are sad, but she also has a slight smile on her face. “You three did this for me?” Yep, here come the tears.

  Hayley lets go of my hand, she stands and rounds the counter, taking her mother in her arms. “We love you, mom. You deserve to keep what you went into the marriage owning. And the way he treated me after being gone for so long, well, I want to kick his ass. That and the fact that these two caught him feeling up some young slut at the airport.” I see her cringe. “Sorry, mom. It wa
s the reason Logan called the PI in the first place.”

  After we’ve eaten, Lucas and I spread out all the images and paperwork across the dining room table. “There is so much to go over,” Toni covers her mouth with her hand, clearly overwhelmed by what she’s seeing.

  “We can take our time,” Hayley tells her as she takes her mother’s free hand in hers.

  Hayley

  The hatred, loathing, and hurt that emanated from my mother, broke my heart. I know she loves my father in her own way, but she finally cracked when she saw images of him and various other women coming and going from different hotels. But the photo that made me feel sick was the one I saw of him and that airport bitch making out in the entryway of our house. It was taken just after he'd kicked me out. I know this because he’s wearing the same suit I saw him in that day, and before you tell me that normal people reuse suits, you need to know that Henry never did. He never wears anything twice. Stuck up asshole he is.

  Sure, I’d lost all respect for him after the last words we’d exchanged, but seeing how hurt my mother is, enrages me.

  While my mom and the boys continued reading through the paperwork Greg had sent over, I decided I needed to open a big bottle of wine. I pulled two chilled wine glasses from the fridge and filled them. Before returning, I skull my glass, and as I was refilling it, a familiar hand rested on my hip.

  “You okay?” Logan asks in a whisper, his lips close to my ear.

  As I finish pouring, I place the now empty bottle of wine on the bench and turn to face him. “There’s a lot in there, a lot I don’t want to see.”

  His hand reaches up, and he pushes my hair behind my ear. “You don’t have to look at it. I can stay down here with them and continue going through it all. I hope your mom has a good lawyer.” He leans in and kisses my cheek. His smile is sad.

  Shaking my head, I tell him, “I have to do this. I can’t walk away from her. She needs me to be on her side. It’s as if he is leading a whole other life, one that doesn’t include me.” My eyes meet his. “Do you think he kicked me out just because he wanted the house to fuck around with that whore you saw him with at the airport?”