“Fitting. I’m the angel, and you’re the devil.” I open the passenger side door of my beautiful white Range Rover and toss my backpack on the black leather seat before I shut it, rounding the front of the vehicle before I open the driver’s side door. “It’s been an interesting conversation with you, Tony, that’s for sure.”
“Hey, it’s worked in my favor. Yours too, you know.” He steps closer when I shut the door and roll down the window, and he leans his forearm on the window’s edge. “You said love is for pussies. We can do whatever we want, we just can’t fall in love, right?”
“Right.” I start the car and then turn to look at him, my gaze snagging on his thick forearm, the light smattering of dark hair that covers it. He’s got nice arms.
He’s got nice everything.
But he’s only eighteen, the angel on my shoulder says.
So what? Eighteen and primed to fuck, isn’t that what they always say?
That’s from the naughty devil on my other shoulder.
“Don’t worry. I can see the cogs turning in your brain. I’m not going to fall in love with you, Channing,” he tells me with a grin, pushing away from my car.
“I’m not going to fall in love with you either, Sorrento,” I toss back at him, rolling up the window. I back out of the parking space, Tony watching me the entire time so intently, my palms start to sweat and I turn at a terrible angle. So bad, I have to drive forward before I can back out, properly this time.
His mere presence is intimidating me, and from the giant grin on his face, he knows it.
I pull up beside him and give him the finger before I gun the gas pedal so hard, my tires squeal.
As I drive home, I give myself a pep talk. I am definitely not going to fall in love with that boy. No matter how many moves Mr. Mysterious has in his arsenal. I can withstand his charm.
I know I can.
Nine
Tony
“What are you up to, bro?”
This comes from Jackson, a few hours after my encounter with Hayden on campus—or I guess you could say, our encounter with Hayden, since all my friends were there.
Acting like a bunch of dumb fucks, but yeah.
We’re currently at my condo I share with Caleb and Diego. Eli and Jackson are over, hanging out with us, and Diego is with Jocelyn. They’ve gotten back together after a rough time apart, and they have a baby. He already told us he’s moving in with her next semester, which is cool. I get it. Hell, I encouraged it. They need to be together. Those two love each other, and they want to make it work.
Since living in the dorms isn’t required for freshmen at Fresno State, I fully planned on finding my own apartment near campus—Dad offered to pay, why would I turn him down? Somehow, though, I was convinced over the summer that living with a couple of assholes was a good idea.
Who am I kidding? I didn’t want to live alone. I’ve done enough of that to last me a lifetime, thanks to my parents never being around when I still lived at home.
Caleb is one of my closest friends, so it was a no brainer living with him. Diego has been my friend for years too, though we’ve gotten even closer recently. He’s never around though. He spends all of his free time with Jos and their baby.
The craziest thing is I’m now friends with guys I hated the entirety of high school. Eli Bennett was the quarterback at our rival high school, and his taunting ways on social media drove us crazy. Guy called us out constantly—and then we’d play against them and beat his ass every single time.
I think he just did it for the drama. Guy loves to flap his lips.
Wasn’t much of a fan of Jackson Rivers either, who played with Eli, though I didn’t know him that well. Turns out they’re both actually pretty cool. Even Caleb gets along with Eli, and they had a near run-in our senior year over Ava, Eli’s girlfriend. Our best friend’s little sister. That’s how we all became friends in the first place—thanks to Ava and Eli dating, and Jake reluctantly accepting him as one of us.
Might not make sense, considering it’s all twisted and a bit of a mess, but we’ve let the past remain where it belongs when it comes to Eli.
That’s why we’re currently sitting around our living room after football practice, playing Call of Duty and drinking beer while waiting for our pizza order to show up. Hanging out like we usually do. Talking a bunch of shit to each other.
Again, as we usually do.
Jackson snaps his fingers in front of my face, reminding me he asked me a question.
“Repeat yourself,” I tell him, loving how easy it is to play video games and get lost in my thoughts all at the same time. And women say men can’t multitask.
Jackson rolls his eyes. “I asked, what are you up to?”
His question is way too vague. “What exactly are you talking about?”
“You and the girl. The sexy blonde.”
My brain immediately conjures an image of Hayden. My favorite one—standing on the jungle gym, the top of her dress loose, as she rids herself of her panties. What a moment. She kind of blew my mind that night.
Actually, she really blew my mind that night.
And she’s definitely a sexy blonde. Of course, within seconds of reimagining that moment between us and me actually taking advantage of her instead of being a goddamn gentleman, I get blown to bits across enemy lines and I’m out of the game. I throw my controller onto the ground in disgust and finally answer Jackson. “We’re friends.”
That’s all I say. My lack of response for most things drives my friends crazy.
It’s my best trait.
“You tapped it yet?” Jackson asks, his focus still on the giant TV in front of us, his fingers working the game controller furiously.
“No.” Haven’t even kissed her yet.
He sends me a quick look. “You going to tap it?”
“Yes,” I say firmly, because she can protest however much she wants, and we can go round and round like two people in strong denial, but that’s all it is. Denial.
We’re hot for each other. I can feel it. There’s so much chemistry between us, you can practically touch it. I want her. She wants me. Yet, for whatever reason, she doesn’t want to cross that line.
Whatever. I won’t push. I’m not a creep. She has no idea just how patient I am.
I’m the most patient motherfucker she’s ever going to meet.
“You so sure about that? She was eyeing every single one of us,” Jackson says, ever the observant when it comes to attractive women.
The only reason Hayden acted interested in any of my friends is because she was trying to irritate me. And because I knew that, it didn’t irritate me whatsoever. I kind of wished a really hot girl would’ve walked by so I could’ve ogled her for a few, but unfortunately that didn’t happen.
Or if it did, I didn’t notice.
“I’m sure she was, but don’t read too much into it. I didn’t want to stake my claim in front of her, but I’m staking it now,” I say, glancing at everyone in the room. This includes Eli and Caleb. They act like they’re not paying attention, their gazes only for the TV, but I know they can hear me. “She’s mine.”
“Not interested,” Eli immediately says, his lips curving into a shit-eating grin. “Got my own sexy blonde.”
I say nothing. I’ve known Ava Callahan for a long time, and while I can admit she’s attractive, I don’t like thinking of her in that way. She’s Jake’s sister. That’s it.
“She’s too feisty for me,” Caleb says with a yawn. “I like them more agreeable.”
“Oh, she’s definitely not agreeable,” Eli adds. “You can just tell.”
This is facts.
“Agreeable is boring,” Jackson adds. “I like a challenge.”
“Is that why you won’t just go for it and finally give Ellie what she wants?” Eli asks, his face a mask of complete innocence. This is a sensitive subject, one they’ve talked about before. We’ve all talked about it before. I stay out of it, though, because it’s pointl
ess.
Jackson is never going to get with Ellie. Mark my words.
“She’s my friend. She’s too young. I’m not interested in her,” Jackson says, his voice edged with finality. He’s gone over this what feels like a hundred times, I’m sure.
Ellie is Ava’s best friend, and she’s not so secretly in love with Jackson. We all know it. Ellie knows we know it. She knows Jackson knows it too, and she wishes he would do something about it. He won’t take it any further than friendship though, because she’s a good girl, according to him.
Good girls don’t interest him. Readily available women don’t interest him either.
“There are too many women on this campus to settle on just one pussy,” Caleb declares. He’s the player of our group, and he’s always got not-so-wise words to say. “I get why Diego is with Jocelyn. They have a baby. They’re a family now. He’s doing the right thing, and he’s always loved her. I just thank God it’s not happening to me.”
He bursts out laughing. Jackson joins in. Eli chuckles, but I can tell he’s uncomfortable because he’s madly in love with Ava and doesn’t want anyone else.
I don’t laugh either, because I have no opinion on one pussy or a thousand pussies. Everyone has a unique set of circumstances, and we all approach situations differently. I wasn’t lying when I told Hayden I thought relationships and love and marriage was a joke. They are. I’m the biggest nonbeliever in love out there.
But I’m not adverse to spending time with her and possibly turning it into something…more. I know how to keep it casual. What’s the harm in that? I’m the one who keeps suggesting friends with benefits. And she’s the one who keeps turning me down.
So fuck it.
“Your hot blonde?” Jackson says to me, pointing his beer can at me. “She’s a challenge. I can tell just from the look on her face.”
“She can be annoying,” I admit.
Jackson laughs. “The challenges usually are. Look, she’s pretty, but she might be too much for you to handle. You’re a pretty calm guy. Maybe turn her over to Caleb and he can give it a go.”
Say the fuck what?
“She’s not a toy to be passed around,” I say with disgust.
“I already said I’m not interested,” Caleb says, tilting his nose into the air as if he’s a snobbish female connoisseur. Which I suppose he is, considering the number of girls he’s been with over the years.
Guy is only eighteen and he’s been with a lot of girls.
Speaking of eighteen…
“She’s twenty and a junior. Meaning, she thinks we’re all too young,” I tell them.
They all start making noise, most of it dismissive.
“Has she seen me in action?” Caleb asks, pointing at his junk. “I’m fuckin’ impressive.”
We ignore him.
“We don’t know life without smart phones,” Jackson adds. “I’ve got years of porn watching under my belt. I know what’s up.”
I make a face. Watching internet porn definitely teaches us a few things, but I wouldn’t consider that as part of my sexual experience.
“As if that’s a life skill,” Eli says, not holding back as usual. It’s his best and worst trait. “I’m sure she’s watched lots of porn too. She’d call you out on any fake ass move.”
“She seems like the type to suggest watching porn with you to get in the mood,” Jackson says, his mood shifting to sullen. He didn’t like us making fun of the porn mention, but he asked for it. “She’s probably boring in bed.”
Doubt it. She was pretty adventurous with me Saturday night, practically stripping in front of me, and we’d only just met.
“How about we don’t talk about her behind her back, hmm?” I suggest.
“Oooh,” they all say together, before they start laughing.
How they knew to say that at the same time, I don’t get. I just scowl at them.
“You’ve got it bad,” Jackson says.
“Tony has a crush,” Caleb teases in a high-pitched voice.
“About damn time, after what Sophie did to you,” Eli says.
We all go silent, and my good mood evaporates. I hate hearing her name. Thinking about her. It’s not that I’m still madly in love with Sophie. I just hated how things ended for us. How she broke up with me and up and left right before the second semester of our senior year started. She was done with me. Done with our school and her friends. Done with the entire area, and she’s already moved on. I felt abandoned, but what else was new?
I didn’t like it. Vowed I wouldn’t let it happen to me ever again. Who needs a relationship?
That’s why I keep telling myself I don’t want one with Hayden. She may think I’m a nice guy, and I’m not going to deny that I respect women, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know how to have a strictly casual and purely sexual arrangement with someone. I am up for it.
Game for it.
Ready for it.
I hooked up with a girl at a frat party a few weeks ago, but it was nothing serious. A lot of kissing. A little bit of touching. She was perfectly willing to give me a BJ, but at the last second, she bowed out.
Thank God because within minutes, she was in one of the bathrooms, puking her guts out, her equally drunk friend holding her hair back and sending me death glares, like it was my fault she was puking.
Whatever.
“You all need to get laid,” Eli says, pointing at me and Jackson. “I know it’s been a while for you two.”
Jackson shoots daggers at his friend with his eyes. I say nothing, because Eli is right. It’s definitely been a while.
“And maybe you shouldn’t have sex with that angry blonde,” Eli continues, pointing at me. “She’ll chew you up and spit you out.”
“I think he’d like that,” Caleb says with a chuckle.
“Shut up,” I practically growl, grateful when the doorbell rings.
I go to the door and grab our pizzas from the delivery guy, tipping him before I kick the door shut and bring the boxes into the kitchen. “Dinner is served.”
We crowd around the counter and dig into the boxes, not bothering with plates or napkins. We don’t need any of that stuff. We’re all hungry savages with one thought on our minds.
Feed me.
Once we’ve got a few pieces of pizza in our stomachs, we slow down, eating more leisurely. After taking the time to go to the fridge and grab more beer, I settle onto one of the barstools that lines the counter, sipping on my beer and finish another slice, contemplating life. Hayden. What I should do next.
“You going to pursue her?” Caleb asks me.
I nod, setting my piece on my plate before I turn to look at him. “It’s probably a mistake, but yeah.”
“You’re not an idiot, Sorrento,” Caleb reminds me.
I smile. “Gee thanks.”
“I’m being serious. You don’t make rash decisions, you don’t go after girls unless you’re truly interested in them. I always wondered if you were some sort of robot or whatever,” Caleb says. “You move through life as if nothing ever affects you.”
It’s a defense mechanism, cultivated through years of dealing with the abandonment of my parents. If you act like nothing bothers you, then it can never hurt you, right?
At least that’s what I tell myself.
“I’m just—”
“Particular,” Caleb finishes for me. “I’ll stick my dick in anything, but you take your time. Get it good and juicy first.”
I wince. “Gross, man.”
“Whatever,” he says with a chuckle. “I always thought it was the right move to try and get with as many girls as possible, because you increase your chances in eventually finding the right one, you know?”
“Are you in search of the right one?” I’m kind of shocked he’s even suggesting this.
“Aren’t we all? I’m not a complete heartless asshole,” Caleb says, his expression turning thoughtful. “What I’m trying to say is maybe you’ve had the right idea all along. Instead
of chasing endless tail, I should be more picky like you are. Then maybe I could find someone I really, truly love.”
I send him a look. His expression is sweet and innocent, like an angel descended from heaven.
Right before he bursts out laughing and shakes his head.
“You fell for it, huh?” He nudges me in the ribs.
“I know you better than that,” I mutter, even though for the briefest second, I did sort of fall for it.
I should’ve known. Caleb isn’t looking for anyone special. None of these guys are, with the exception of Eli, who I’m sure thinks he’s already found her.
I might not believe in everlasting true love, but I know a good one when I see it, or in this case, her, and I know Hayden is a good one. She’s full of all kinds of possibilities.
And I want to explore every single one of them.
As long as we keep it casual.
We’re coming out of practice the next day when I spot a familiar blonde head in the distance. As we draw closer, I can see she’s wearing navy blue leggings and a red Bulldogs T-shirt, looking like a fangirl waiting for her favorite player to walk off the field.
I can’t help the grin that grows on my face when our gazes connect. Her hopeful expression transforms into a frown and I laugh. She shakes her head, mock glaring at me, and I grin the rest of the way, until I’m standing directly in front of her.
“Couldn’t resist me, could you?” I tease.
She rolls her eyes. Crosses her arms. Looks away before, reluctantly, facing me once more. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you, okay?”
Her brutal honesty is much appreciated. “Same.”
“You couldn’t stop thinking about you either?” She raises a brow.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” I tap the tip of her nose, and I swear to God she blushes. “Why are you here?”
“I was waiting for you.”
“How’d you figure out where we were practicing?”
“It’s not hard, Sorrento. I’ve got a brain.”
The Freshman Page 9
