"There's nothing wrong with the sport she has chosen."
"Of course, there isn't. She's talented, and when she skates, it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. But sometimes, it's not about beauty. Sometimes, it's about love. I saw her face that day at practice. She loves this sport."
A soft chuckle shook Coach's shoulders. "When I first married Charlotte's mother, I wanted a boy to follow in my footsteps, someone I could teach to love this as much as I did. Charlotte was the only kid in the stars for us. When she came, it no longer mattered to me what gender she was. I just wanted her to be happy. But I've failed at that, haven't I?" His shoulders dropped.
"Not yet. Let her play. Let her join the team."
He sighed. "Even if I could defy my wife in this, the Venice game is the same day as Charlotte's competition. I'm sorry, Jesse. There's just no way."
Jessie stood, leaving the rulebook on Coach's desk. "There's always a way."
He just hadn’t figured that part out yet.
14
Charlotte
Charlotte had barely spoken to her parents since their lecture a few days before. She went to training each morning, performing each move her mother requested. They were at the part of their schedule where she could run through her entire long program with little input from her coach. It suited them well.
Her dad was a different story. He didn't back off like her mom had. Instead, he started coming home from work early to eat dinner with her. He'd stare at her as if trying to figure out a complicated problem.
But Charlotte wasn't ready to forgive either of them. For the first time in her life, she wanted to break away from the image they'd created of her.
"Are you sure you want me to do this?" Hadley stared at her in the mirror, her eyebrows drawn together.
Charlotte sat on the stool in front of her vanity studying her appearance. She'd barely grown in years, which suited her for figure skating. But the rest of her looks—her hair, her clothes—those hadn't changed either. She had a routine, one that kept her focused. Each morning, she put on an outfit that differed little from her others before French braiding her hair in the style she'd worn since she was ten.
She met Hadley's eyes in the mirror, envying her friend’s willingness to change. "Yeah, I'm ready."
"And it's not just for Jesse? I mean, he's a good reason for a little change, but your mom is going to freak."
She shook her head, one corner of her mouth curving up. "No, this is a hundred percent for me."
Hadley grinned. "Well, then I approve." She lifted a pair of scissors from the vanity top. "Don't worry, I've been cutting my own hair for years."
Charlotte wasn't worried. "It's only hair, Hads."
"Who are you, and what have you done with my uptight friend?"
She shrugged, not able to put it into words. She'd disappointed her parents, but they disappointed her too. This was her life, and it took her this long to realize that.
Hadley unwound Charlotte's braid and started to work. "Does this mean there'll be more kissing?"
She'd given her friend a play-by-play of her night at Jesse's followed by a run-down of her parents' lecture. "No. I still need to stay focused. I might not be doing it for them anymore, but I have my own goals."
"Do you think you can win your competition next weekend?"
"I know I can." It was the biggest one of the season, and would draw skaters from across the state, but she could do it.
"That's my girl."
Charlotte watched the strands of dark hair fall around her, thinking of all the compliments she'd gotten on her shoulder-long locks. None of their words mattered. As she'd said to Hadley, it was only hair. Besides, she'd rather they admire her for her drive and her skill.
Hadley hummed while she worked, forgoing all further questioning about Jesse. Despite her crush, she'd been excited about him kissing Charlotte.
Charlotte, on the other hand, still didn't know how to face him. She'd managed to avoid him at school, but every time the final bell rang, she wished she could head to hockey practice instead of going home to run alone.
After a while, Hadley stepped back. "Perfection."
Charlotte lifted her eyes to the mirror. They widened as she took in the dark hair hanging just above her shoulders in waves. It brushed her neck when she moved her head. The girl staring back at her wasn't the uptight ice princess. She was... something else, something new.
Hadley bent down and hugged her from behind. "You look beautiful, but now that we've made a mess, it's time for me to go." She winked and released Charlotte.
Charlotte laughed.
"I have a wicked test to study for."
"Hads..." Their eyes locked. "Thanks."
"Anytime, babe." She blew a kiss and sauntered out the door.
Charlotte stared at herself in the mirror for a moment longer before she grabbed the broom to sweep up the mess of hair on the floor.
In her baggy jeans and long-sleeved flannel shirt, she doubted anyone would recognize her. They were her Saturday clothes, a day when few people actually saw her. If she tried to leave the house in jeans on a school day, her mom wouldn't let her go.
"Charlie," her dad called up the stairs. "Come down here, please."
"I'm studying, Dad." She wasn't ready for another "talk" with them. Eventually, she'd give in and do as they wanted, but she still needed her space.
She bounced onto her bed and slid her laptop over. Studying wasn't a lie, but it wasn't school that held her attention. Instead, she'd been watching video of the Venice hockey team someone posted online.
Switching back and forth between that and video of her competitors next weekend meant everything else slid to the background. Figure skating. Hockey. Both fed a different part of her, and she wasn't sure which she hungered for more.
She laid on her stomach and kicked her bare feet into the air.
A knock on the door reverberated through the room. With a sigh, she turned over. "Dad, I'm not—" It wasn't her dad.
Jesse stood in the doorway, his hands deep in his pockets. "Hey."
She scrambled to sit up. "Um... hi."
He stepped into the room, his eyes zeroing in on her computer screen. "Are you watching the Venice team?"
"I... uh... just wanted to see what you guys were up against." Her cheeks flamed.
"They're good." He crossed the room and sat on the vacated bench in front of the vanity, his eyes never leaving hers.
She swallowed. "They are... but..."
His lips curled up. "You saw something." He moved to the edge of her bed and bent over the computer. "Tell me."
She tore her eyes away from him and reached to hit play. "When they come up the ice on the rush, they leave gaps." She pointed to where one of the wingers skated out of position.
"Yeah, I saw that. But we don't have anyone fast enough to take advantage. Not even me."
"You don't need to be superhuman fast because their defensemen don't jump up on the play." She waited a moment for the play to develop before pointing to the screen again. "Watch this guy. He hangs back too long. I watched a few of their lines, and it's not just this one. It seems to be a part of their plays. You wouldn't really be able to take advantage of it unless you knew ahead of time. That's what they're counting on."
He straightened and stepped back from the bed. "I wish you were playing the game with us. We could use you."
She didn't respond as she shut the computer.
"I asked your dad if you could."
Her head snapped up. "What?"
"I even looked through the rulebook. There's nothing saying we can't have a girl on our team."
"I can't. I have a competition."
"Yeah." He rubbed the back of his neck. "That's what your dad said."
"Is there a reason you're here, Jesse?" Or a reason her dad actually let him upstairs.
He shrugged. "I thought you might want to go for a run."
That was the plan once she decided to risk crossin
g her parents on the way out of the house, but going with Jesse felt dangerous somehow.
As if sensing her hesitation, Jesse met her gaze. "Look, Charlie, I know nothing can happen between us. I'm not willing to risk my place on the team, and you aren't willing to put your figure skating at risk. I get that. But I like being around you. You're... different from most people. Is there something wrong with us being friends?"
She pursed her lips, considering his words. Was friendship a good idea? Did she care? He was her link to hockey, to that part of herself, but it was more than that.
And she couldn't resist. "Okay, a run sounds good."
A grin overtook his face, a genuine expression so unlike the usual charm she now knew he used to hide his home life. If people saw Jesse Carrigan as perfect, he could be perfect.
But she liked the parts of him he didn't let anyone else see.
"You probably want to change." He winked and walked into the hall.
Embarrassment flooded Charlotte when she looked down at her casual attire, but she pushed it away. The girls at school wore similar clothes every day. Why couldn't she be like them?
Jumping from her bed, she changed into leggings, a sports bra, and an oversized T-shirt.
When she ran down the stairs, she found Jesse sitting in the living room with both her parents. Three pairs of eyes found her. To her surprise, neither of her parents protested her leaving. Instead, they said something she couldn't hear to Jesse and let him lead her from the house.
"All right, skater girl, think you can keep up?" He shot her a grin.
She raised an eyebrow. She’d spent her afternoons running for as long as she could remember. She doubted he could say the same. "We'll see." She took off, only glancing behind her once to make sure Jesse followed. He sped up, matching her pace.
Distance wasn't difficult for her. She was trained to last through an entire long program, having the same amount of energy at the end as the beginning.
They thundered down her familiar path, through the neighborhood and out onto the main road. By the time they reached the beach a few miles from her house, Jesse breathed heavily.
The rocky ground turned to sand beneath their feet as Turtle Cove curved before them. A few surfers in dark wetsuits dotted the horizon, marking where the more beloved Shell Beach began.
Turtle Cove was a popular destination for kite surfers, not long boarders. Their kites flew high above, catching in the wind as the boarders below flipped and twisted.
Charlotte slowed to a stop to watch them as she always did, their strength amazed her.
"They're beautiful." She said the words to herself, forgetting about her company.
Jesse wheezed beside her. "That awe on your face... that's how I felt watching you do your figure skating thing. I'd never seen anything that completely took my breath away. The things you can do..."
Charlotte looked up at him, wondering how she'd hated him so much before. There wasn't a single thing to hate about Jesse Carrigan. He met her gaze, something she didn't recognize swirling in the depths of his eyes.
"Jess!" An unfamiliar voice broke whatever bubble they'd been in as a beautiful girl ran toward them. Her wetsuit was only halfway up, revealing a tanned, bikini-clad torso.
"Bails." Jesse broke away from Charlotte to wrap the girl in a hug. He released her and ruffled her wet hair. "Charlie, this is Bailey Madison. My... friend."
Bailey laughed at that and turned a bright smile on Charlotte. "I was his flavor of the month last year." She shot Jesse a wink.
"You know it wasn't like that."
She raised an eyebrow. "Uh-huh. Our wittle Jesse has trouble making up this thick mind of his." She reached out to pretend-slug him. "I'm just kidding. We weren't right for each other. I'm fun... and he's Jesse."
Charlotte laughed despite the knots tangling in her stomach. She didn't want to feel jealous or any kind of anger over the thought of Jesse with any girl. But Bailey only confirmed what Charlotte already knew. Even if Jesse liked her now, even if they were allowed to date, he'd move on quickly.
It was better to stay friends.
Bailey glanced over her shoulder. "I've got to get back out there before I lose the waves." She shot them one final grin before crashing through the water to where someone kept her gear from floating away.
"She seemed nice." Charlotte turned away from the water.
"Bailey? Yeah, she's the best."
"Then why aren't you still dating?"
He only shrugged in answer. It wasn't good enough, but maybe nothing he could have said would have been good enough.
"Let's keep running." She bent to stretch her calves.
"I have a better idea." He gripped the bottom of his shirt and pulled it over his head before kicking off his shoes.
"What are you doing?"
"Going for a swim." He took off toward the water.
"Jesse, it's January. Do you realize how cold the gulf is right now?" There was a reason surfers wore wetsuits in the winter.
He turned to her but kept walking backward. "Don't you ever just do what feels right, Charlie? Stop thinking so much all the time."
His face blanched when he hit the water, but he shook it off and kept moving until it reached his waist. He dove in, his back muscles straining as he cut through the water.
Charlotte bounced on her toes, waiting for him to surface. This was stupid. She shouldn't have agreed to spend time with Jesse, not when she had a competition to prepare for. Here he was cutting their run short.
She'd always been better off on her own.
But when Jesse broke the surface of the water, waves surging around him, his grin had Charlotte moving closer, wanting to feel his joy for herself.
He swam back to shore and crashed through the shallow water until he reached her. Without waiting for permission, he wrapped his arms around her and started running again.
Charlotte screamed as freezing cold water soaked into her. "Jesse, put me down!"
"Okay." He launched her in front of him.
She only had a second for a scream to leave her throat before her mouth flooded with seawater. Kicking to the top, she sputtered as her head broke free and her entire body shivered. "You're a dead man, Jesse Carrigan." Her voice shook. “T-this w-water is freaking cold.”
She swam toward him, icy water sending chills through her. When she reached Jesse, he didn't try to get away. Not even as she forced his head underwater.
He reared up and threw her again. This time, she came up laughing.
Jesse rested on his back, his eyes lifted to the blue sky above, but the smile never left his face. She swam toward him, planning to push him back under.
But when she reached his side, he turned to look at her, the ghost of a smile still on his lips. Without thinking, she reached out to touch his face.
He straightened and faced her. Still, she needed to feel what he was feeling, his joy, his hope.
"Charlie," he whispered. "What are you doing?"
"I just..." She pulled her hand away.
"Don't stop."
Gathering her courage, she lifted her hand again, tracing the curve of his smile. "I needed to feel it."
"Feel what?"
"Your joy."
His eyes searched hers for only a moment before he yanked her toward him, crashing their lips together with the power of the waves trying to pull them apart.
This time, Charlotte didn't hesitate to take everything he had to give. The water moved around them, forever changing, forever churning, just like the feelings inside her.
She didn't know what to make of the boy attached to her lips, but maybe she didn't need to. Sinking into the moment, she kissed him back with everything she had, letting go of all her doubts, for just a moment. Warmth rushed through her, pushing away the chill of the air hitting her wet skin.
A single kiss couldn't turn the nos to yesses, but for one day, it could give her hope.
She wound her arms around Jesse's neck, not wanting to let t
his moment pass them by. Her mouth opened, letting him deepen the connection between them.
A connection they both knew couldn't last, wouldn't last.
Energy zipped along her skin, following the touch of his fingers, and warming her icy limbs. Their feet warred in the sandy bottom, holding them steady in the tumultuous sea.
After what seemed like an eternity, Jesse pulled back, resting his forehead against hers. Their breath mingled as they both caught their bearings.
"Jesse." Charlotte closed her eyes to keep the tears from falling.
"Don't tell me we can't. Not now. Please." He kissed her again, this time with more sweetness than she thought a single person could possess.
He kissed her like it could be the last time, and he wanted to savor every second, every breath.
A wave crashed over them, breaking them apart. Maybe it was a metaphor. Or maybe just bad timing. But it brought Charlotte back to her senses. She turned and marched from the water.
Jesse chased after her. "Charlie." He reached for her hand, but she pulled it away as she whirled to face him.
"Friends don't kiss like that." Nor did people who'd been forbidden to see each other.
Wet hair hung in her eyes, and she cursed herself for having Hadley cut it. What a stupid decision. Shorter hair didn't make her a new person. It didn't give her the courage to go after what she wanted.
And what did she want?
Figure skating.
And hockey.
Jesse.
And her parents.
The two parts of her would forever be at odds.
"Don't tell me we can't." His fingers wrapped around her arm. "I've never..." He blew out a shaky breath. "You're different, Charlie."
"Different from what? All the girls who lasted a month? We're trouble, Jesse. I could fall for you. Irreparably. And you'd break me. Then what would we have? I'm not willing to risk everything I've worked for." She crossed her arms over her chest to try and hold in some warmth. "I'm sorry."
Jesse ran a hand through his hair. "No... you're right. We can't do this. I just... I like hanging out with you."
Jesse and the Ice Princess (Gulf City High Book 1) Page 11
