Her wedding dress was gone and she’d replaced it with warm, practical clothes which made my heart ache with longing.
“I c-can’t,” I stuttered. I couldn’t feel my feet and I swayed unsteadily in the three inch heels.
“What?” Montana frowned at me and yanked on my arm, trying to get me moving. Her dark hair was quickly becoming drenched too and her fresh clothes were saturated with raindrops.
“M-Magnar made me st-stay here.” I shivered harder as her face scrunched in confusion. I could tell she had no idea what I was trying to say and I didn’t know how I was supposed to put it into words when my lips were numb and I could barely form a coherent sentence. “I c-can’t follow h-him and he went in-inside.”
Her features transformed from confused to furious in half a second as she suddenly realised what I was telling her. I’d explained his hold over me when I’d told her about taking the vow but this was the first time she was seeing how far that power extended and I could see comprehension building in her gaze. “I’ll kill him,” she growled.
“He has t-to release me.”
“He’s not here,” Montana said hopelessly. The rain was soaking her through and I could tell she was fighting the urge to start shivering herself. “He went to scout for Familiars.”
My heart sank as I realised I wasn’t going to be released from his command any time soon. My fingertips were already blue and I was so cold that it was painful.
Montana looked around helplessly as though she thought she might be able to find something to shelter me on the exposed balcony but it was no good. There was nothing around us but cold concrete and stacked rubble.
“G-go back inside,” I urged. There was no point in both of us being stuck out here and she didn’t have any gifts to help her resist the elements.
“I’m not leaving you.” She frowned as if she was concentrating on something then her eyes lit with an idea. “He said not to follow him, right? Well maybe you can follow me instead?”
I opened my mouth to protest but something told me she might actually be on to something. She smiled encouragingly and started tugging me back towards the door. I took a step after her and nothing stopped me. Relief flooded me as I stumbled after her through the door.
As soon as I was out of the pounding rain I released a shuddering breath. Montana kept going, leading me through the rotting building until we made it to the fire Magnar had lit.
I groaned as I held my hands out above it and the heat of the flames washed over me.
“I’m so sorry, Callie. I just thought you needed a bit of time to yourself, I had no idea you were stuck out there.” Montana chewed her lip and concern filled her eyes. “Magnar found us a while ago and said he was going to scout for Familiars, he seemed like he was angry about something. I guessed maybe you’d had a row and that was why you weren’t with him. If I’d known that he’d done that to you-”
“It’s alright, Monty. How could you have known?” I managed to kick the shoes off of my feet but I still couldn’t feel my toes. I’d gone beyond being angry at the situation and had fallen into a desperate kind of acceptance.
“Come on, there’s no way you’ll warm up with that dress on.” She moved behind me and started unfastening the saturated gown. I tried to stop my fingers from trembling as I held them as close to the flames as I could manage without actually touching the fire. “Julius hasn’t brought the rest of the supplies up yet but I could go and find him-”
“No. Could you just stay with me... for a bit, please?” Now that I was out of the rain I was sure I’d warm up soon enough and I just wanted the comfort provided by her company.
The wedding dress fell to my feet with a wet splat and I shuffled away from it before sinking down next to the fire. Montana scooped it back up and rang the excess water out of it before draping it over a battered desk close to the heat. She tossed a wooden chair onto the fire to stoke the flames then lowered herself down beside me, taking my hand between hers and trying to rub some warmth back into it.
“When you told me he could control you I had no idea it would be so... literal,” she said angrily. “What the hell was he thinking leaving you out there like that? Even if we ignore the storm; there could be Familiars hunting us. You could have been seen! Why would he think-”
“Do you mind if we don’t talk about it?” I asked quietly.
“Oh, sure... I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“I just feel so...” I shrugged, unable to come up with the right word. Helpless? Powerless? Used? “I’m worried that with so many things controlling me I’m going to end up losing who I am,” I breathed.
I drew my knees up to my chest and placed my chin on top of them. I hated to admit how close I felt to breaking but I was really beginning to wonder how much more I could take. Ever since Dad had died I felt like I’d slowly been losing control over my own fate. It was like the closer I got to freedom, the more of my own will I had to sacrifice.
Montana opened her mouth to respond but her attention was snagged by Julius and Magnar returning instead.
I kept my eyes low, staring at the flames so that I didn’t have to look at him. I felt a sharp pain in my chest which had nothing to do with the cold. How could he have done that to me? Was I fool to believe he cared about me at all? How could I tally up his supposed feelings with someone who could be so cruel?
“Did I miss the invite to go dancing in the rain or something?” Julius asked with a laugh as he moved closer to me and noticed my missing dress and dripping hair.
I tightened my grip on my knees; the scraps of material Clarice Belvedere had forced me to wear beneath my wedding dress were transparent and I was already humiliated enough without needing to add exposing my body to the mix.
Montana got to her feet and rounded on Magnar. “What the hell is wrong with you?” she yelled. “It’s freezing out there! She could have died!”
I glanced up as his gaze slid to me but I dropped my eyes again as tears prickled the backs of them. I scrunched my toes up and wished the ground would swallow me so that the two of them would stop staring. Shame and hurt warred within me and I couldn’t help but feel utterly pathetic. Julius tilted his head in confusion and stepped between Montana and his brother before she could punch him.
“What are you talking about, damsel?” he asked.
“Ask him,” she spat, pointing over Julius’s shoulder at Magnar whose eyes still hadn’t left me. “He made her stay out on that balcony in the rain. I only just found her; she’ll be lucky to keep all of her fingers!”
I clenched my hands into fists, relieved that they did as commanded so that I could be sure she was wrong about that guess.
“What?” Magnar’s brow furrowed with confusion and he tried to move towards me but Montana stepped into his path, practically spitting venom.
“You stay the hell away from her,” she growled.
He paused before her but I could still feel his eyes on me. I kept my head low, not wanting him to see the pain he’d caused and feeling like a coward for hiding from his gaze. I’d never backed down from him before but I felt like a whipped puppy, afraid to risk testing him again.
“I still don’t understand what’s supposed to have happened,” Julius said, looking between everyone as he hunted for his answer.
“He left Callie out on that balcony and told her not to follow him when he went inside. She’s been out there for hours!”
“I didn’t mean...” Magnar tried to move closer to me again and I huddled in on myself wishing he wouldn’t. I’d opened up to him about everything that had happened to me, I’d laid it all on the line in an attempt to show him everything so that he would see how much he meant to me. And in return he’d bound me to his will and punished me for something I had no control over.
“Callie?” he asked and I could hear raw emotion in his voice but I didn’t raise my head. I just wanted him to go away.
“You bloody fool.” Julius caught Magnar’s arm and forced him back a s
tep as he tried to move around Montana. “I need to have a word with you, Brother. Now.”
I peeked between my lashes and watched as Julius shoved Magnar towards a door on the other side of the room. Magnar hesitated, seeming torn between following his brother’s instructions and continuing his advance on me.
Julius kept shoving and Magnar finally gave in, stomping away from us and heading through the door.
I let out a breath of relief and Montana turned to face me with pity in her eyes.
“Here,” Julius said, turning back to us instead of following his brother. He dropped a heavy pack which had been over his shoulder and pulled it open. He dragged out a thick blanket and moved towards me slowly, draping it over my shoulders.
“Thank you,” I breathed as I drew the blanket around me. I was still shivering, it felt like the cold had made roots in my bones and would never leave.
“It’s nothing.” He shrugged as if my gratitude made him uncomfortable. “There’s clean clothes and food in the pack too.”
Montana pursed her lips as he passed her by and I could tell she wasn’t impressed by his attempt to make peace.
“He’d better be grovelling by the time he comes back in here,” she growled and Julius gave her a nod before disappearing after Magnar into the other room.
As soon as he was gone she moved to the pack and started rummaging through the things they’d found.
“You’ll feel better once you’ve eaten,” she said and I wasn’t sure which one of us she was trying to convince.
I started chewing on my thumbnail as I waited for her to finish her investigation. It was a habit I’d given up as a child but I always found myself doing it when I felt helpless.
Montana pulled out a fresh black shirt, some thick socks, new underwear and a pair of grey sweatpants then passed them to me. I quickly stripped out of the ridiculous underwear and tossed it onto the fire, feeling a surge of satisfaction that it had never served its purpose. I pulled the new clothes on and felt a little better as the cold finally began to leave my bones. It was immeasurably good to have dry clothes against my skin.
I pulled my hair over my shoulder and wrang the water from it before twisting it into a braid. Magnar liked me wearing it loose but I didn’t feel at all inclined to please him at that moment.
Montana started making us something to eat. I’d never been one for talking it out when I fell into a sullen mood so she stayed silent while she worked. I hoped she knew I treasured her companionship while I attempted to figure out my roiling emotions.
The wind found its way into the building for a moment and the door which Julius and Magnar had headed through blew open a crack. With the aid of my gifts, their voices floated to me and I sat up a little straighter as I heard my name.
“Callie knows I would never hurt her-” Magnar rumbled angrily.
“No. She doesn’t,” Julius snapped in response. “Can’t you remember how it felt when Father bound you to his will during your training? I recall you plotting to slip rotten mushrooms into his meal so that he might spend a few nights puking and give you some respite. At least until you realised he’d just force you to clean his vomit.”
“Yes, I hated having my will stolen from me. And because of that I managed to break his control over me in less than a year!”
“You can’t just presume everyone is like you,” Julius replied in exasperation. “You’ve been telling me how much she means to you and yet your actions tell a different story. You could have killed her today, Magnar. And all because you’re angry with her for something she can’t control!”
“Fabian Belvedere still draws breath because of that mark on her hand. I allowed him to live for her sake. I couldn’t give her greater proof of my devotion-”
“And yet when she tried to explain the reason why she had to ask that of you, you abused the trust she put in you when you became her mentor,” Julius countered.
“You know I never meant for her to stay out in that storm,” Magnar snarled. “Don’t you think I feel bad enough for that mistake?”
“That’s the problem; you shouldn’t have made a mistake like that! You never should have been her mentor. Your feelings for her make it too complicated. Do you ever remember Father putting you in danger with one of his commands? Or Mother endangering me? You’ve only been bonded to her for a matter of days and you’ve managed to do it twice!”
“I know,” Magnar’s voice dipped and I missed what he said next.
“Well if that’s the case then you need to fix this. She needs you now and I honestly don’t know how you’re going to unravel this mess.”
Silence descended and I glanced at Montana, wondering if she’d heard them too. She’d filled a metal cooking pot with something and was busy stirring it, showing no sign of having overheard the brothers.
“Am I going to regret letting you cook for me?” I teased as she noticed my attention. Her attempts at cooking for us in the Realm had often ended up with something tasting a little too much like charcoal. Dad used to say she could have burnt water given half a chance.
“You know that’s not fair!” she protested, pointing a sticky spoon at me. “It was just that one casserole and the omelet-”
“And the soup and the pasta. And I’m pretty sure you gave me an apple once which tasted decidedly smokey-”
“Shut up!” She flicked the spoon at me and I laughed as some of her culinary creation splattered my sleeve. I scooped it onto my finger and licked it off.
“Hmmm,” I said, considering the flavour of the glob of porridge oats. “Tastes... sooty.”
“It does not!” She laughed again as she started spooning the oatmeal into bowls and I couldn’t help but grin at her.
“I missed this,” I said as she passed me an overflowing bowl with a spoon sticking out of the top of it. “I mean, I missed the little stuff like this. Who’d have thought I’d crave sleeping on the floor or pretending I couldn’t hear Dad waking us in the mornings... or badly cooked meals.”
I released a heavy sigh as the loss of our father pressed close again but gave her a playful smile as I lifted a spoonful to my mouth. I wanted to bathe in the joy of having her back, not wallow in the sadness of our grief.
I had to resist the urge to moan in pleasure as the oatmeal slid down to my stomach. I’d refused the food the Belvederes had offered during my stay with them and I hadn’t eaten in nearly two days.
“I miss him too,” Montana said sadly. “I still can’t believe... I mean, I saw it, but it just doesn’t feel real. How can he just be gone?”
I swallowed a thick lump in my throat and reached out to grasp her hand as the tears I’d been fighting for days overflowed. She shuffled closer to me and pulled me into her arms as her grief met with mine and we cried for the man who’d raised us.
Julius cleared his throat loudly as he and Magnar returned to the room and I pulled away from Montana, hastily wiping the tears from my cheeks.
I glanced at Magnar for half a heartbeat as he hesitated by the door then dropped my eyes to my meal and focused my attention on that.
“I think these two need to clear the air, damsel,” Julius said gently and Montana bristled beside me.
“It’s fine, Monty,” I breathed before she could object. As much as I didn’t want to face Magnar I knew we had to move on from this. We were stuck out here, hiding from the Belvederes without a plan for moving forward. We had to be able to work together at the very least and that didn’t seem likely to happen all the time I couldn’t even bring myself to look at him.
“Are you sure?” she asked, her gaze filled with concern. I nodded, wishing I didn’t feel like I was lying about that.
Montana narrowed her eyes as she got to her feet, passing a bowl of oatmeal to Julius and keeping the last one for herself.
“Oh, I forgot to dish out a bowl for you. But maybe you can command my sister to do it for you,” she said, scowling at Magnar as she walked past him.
Julius chuckled as he lifted
a heaped spoonful to his mouth and followed her from the room. Magnar watched them leave and waited several long seconds before he approached me.
I kept my eyes on my food as I felt his gaze boring into me but I still couldn’t bring myself to look at him.
“I’m so sorry, Callie,” he said eventually, lowering himself down to sit beside me. He didn’t sit as close as usual and the space between us opened up endlessly.
I lifted a shoulder in response to his apology. It didn’t really make any difference to what he’d done to me or how it had made me feel. “I only wanted some time to clear my head. I never intended for you to be stuck out there-”
“It’s fine,” I replied even though it was obvious that it wasn’t.
He reached out to me and for the first time since Idun had forbidden us from touching, I was glad of her rules. I shifted away from him as he fought against her control and his hand fell to the floor between us helplessly.
“Please let me make this right,” he breathed.
“I said it’s fine. It’s like you told me before; this is all my fault anyway. I did it to myself.”
“I shouldn’t have said that to you.”
I shrugged again.
“I should be used to people stealing my will from me by now anyway. If it’s not you it’s Idun… or Fabian. Between the lot of you I’ll lose who I am entirely at this rate,” I said.
“Don’t compare me to them,” he replied, his tone rough with hurt. “I’d never force you to be anyone but yourself. I’d never intentionally make you do anything that would harm you-”
“So long as it’s unintentional that’s alright then,” I muttered.
“I didn’t say it was alright.”
I nodded vaguely, staring into the depths of my oatmeal.
“Please will you look at me, Callie?” he begged.
I pursed my lips and dropped the spoon into my bowl before forcing myself to turn towards him. It took another wrench of effort to raise my gaze to meet his and his eyes swam with discomfort as he looked back at me.
“Why are you looking at me like you’re afraid of me?” he asked and I could see the pain it caused him.
Age of Vampires- The Complete Series Page 82
