1.
No doubt, Sir, that you have noticed during the course of ourconversations that Nature has endowed me with an over-sensitive heart.I feel keenly, Sir, very keenly. Blows dealt me by Fate, or, as hasbeen more often the case, by the cruel and treacherous hand of man,touch me on the raw. I suffer acutely. I am highly strung. I am one ofthose rare beings whom Nature pre-ordained for love and for happiness.I am an ideal family man.
What? You did not know that I was married? Indeed, Sir, I am. Andthough Madame Ratichon does not perhaps fulfil all my ideals ofexquisite womanhood, nevertheless she has been an able and willinghelpmate during these last years of comparative prosperity. Yes, yousee me fairly prosperous now. My industry, my genius--if I may soexpress myself--found their reward at last. You will be the first toacknowledge--you, the confidant of my life's history--that that rewardwas fully deserved. I worked for it, toiled and thought and struggled,up to the last; and had Fate been just, rather than grudging, I shouldhave attained that ideal which would have filled my cup of happinessto the brim.
But, anyway, the episode connected with my marriage did mark the closeof my professional career, and is therefore worthy of record. Sincethat day, Sir--a happy one for me, a blissful one for Mme. Ratichon--Ihave been able, thanks to the foresight of an all-wise Providence, togratify my bucolic tastes. I live now, Sir, amidst my flowers, with mydog and my canary and Mme. Ratichon, smiling with kindly indulgence onthe struggles and the blunders of my younger colleagues, oft consultedby them in matters that require special tact and discretion. I sit anddream now beneath the shade of a vine-clad arbour of those gloriousdays of long ago, when kings and emperors placed the destiny of theirinheritance in my hands, when autocrats and dictators came to me forassistance and advice, and the name of Hector Ratichon stood foreverything that was most astute and most discreet. And if at times agentle sigh of regret escapes my lips, Mme. Ratichon--whose thinnessis ever my despair, for I admire comeliness, Sir, as being morewomanly--Mme. Ratichon, I say, comes to me with the gladsome news thatdinner is served; and though she is not all that I could wish in thematter of the culinary arts, yet she can fry a cutlet passably, andone of her brothers is a wholesale wine merchant of excellentreputation.
It was soon after my connexion with that abominable Marquis deFirmin-Latour that I first made the acquaintance of the present Mme.Ratichon, under somewhat peculiar circumstances.
I remember it was on the first day of April in the year 1817 that M.Rochez--Fernand Rochez was his exact name--came to see me at my officein the Rue Daunou, and the date proved propitious, as you willpresently see. How M. Rochez came to know of my gifts and powers, Icannot tell you. He never would say. He had heard of me through afriend, was all that he vouchsafed to say.
Theodore had shown him in. Ah! have I not mentioned the fact that Ihad forgiven Theodore his lies and his treachery, and taken him backto my bosom and to my board? My sensitive heart had again got thebetter of my prudence, and Theodore was installed once more in theantechamber of my apartments in the Rue Daunou, and was, asheretofore, sharing with me all the good things that I could afford.So there he was on duty on that fateful first of April which wasdestined to be the turning-point of my destiny. And he showed M. deRochez in.
At once I knew my man--the type, I mean. Immaculately dressed, scentedand befrilled, haughty of manner and nonchalant of speech, M. Rochezhad the word "adventurer" writ all over his well-groomed person. Hewas young, good-looking, his nails were beautifully polished, hispantaloons fitted him without a wrinkle. These were of a soft puttyshade; his coat was bottle-green, and his hat of the latest modishshape. A perfect exquisite, in fact.
And he came to the point without much preamble.
"M.--er--Ratichon," he said, "I have heard of you through a friend,who tells me that you are the most unscrupulous scoundrel he has evercome across."
"Sir--!" I began, rising from my seat in indignant protest at thecoarse insult. But with an authoritative gesture he checked the flowof my indignation.
"No comedy, I pray you, Sir," he said. "We are not at the TheatreMoliere, but, I presume, in an office where business is transactedboth briefly and with discretion."
"At your service, Monsieur," I replied.
"Then listen, will you?" he went on curtly, "and pray do notinterrupt. Only speak in answer to a question from me."
I bowed my head in silence. Thus must the proud suffer when theyhappen to be sparsely endowed with riches.
"You have no doubt heard of Mlle. Goldberg," M. Rochez continued aftera moment's pause, "the lovely daughter of the rich usurer in the Ruedes Medecins."
I had heard of Mlle. Goldberg. Her beauty and her father's wealth werereported to be fabulous. I indicated my knowledge of the beautifullady by a mute inclination of the head.
"I love Mlle. Goldberg," my client resumed, "and I have reason for thebelief that I am not altogether indifferent to her. Glances, youunderstand, from eyes as expressive as those of the exquisite Jewessspeak more eloquently than words."
He had forbidden me to speak, so I could only express concurrence inthe sentiments which he expressed by a slight elevation of my lefteyebrow.
"I am determined to win the affections of Mlle. Goldberg," M. Rochezwent on glibly, "and equally am I determined to make her my wife."
"A very natural determination," I remarked involuntarily.
"My only trouble with regard to pressing my court is the fact that mylovely Leah is never allowed outside her father's house, save in hiscompany or that of his sister--an old maid of dour mien and sourdisposition, who acts the part of a duenna with dog-like tenacity.Over and over again have I tried to approach the lady of my heart,only to be repelled or roughly rebuked for my insolence by herirascible old aunt."
"You are not the first lover, Sir," I remarked drily, "who hath seenobstacles thus thrown in his way, and--"
"One moment, M.--er--Ratichon," he broke in sharply. "I have notfinished. I will not attempt to describe my feelings to you. I havebeen writhing--yes, writhing!--in face of those obstacles of whichyou speak so lightly, and for a long time I have been cudgelling mybrains as to the possible means whereby I might approach my divinityunchecked. Then one day I bethought me of you--"
"Of me, Sir?" I ejaculated, sorely puzzled. "Why of me?"
"None of my friends," he replied nonchalantly, "would care toundertake so scrubby a task as I would assign to you."
"I pray you to be more explicit," I retorted with unimpaired dignity.
Once more he paused. Obviously he was a born mountebank, and hecalculated all his effects to a nicety.
"You, M.--er--Ratichon," he said curtly at last, "will have to takethe duenna off my hands."
I was beginning to understand. So I let him prattle on the while mybusy brain was already at work evolving the means to render this manservice, which in its turn I expected to be amply repaid. Thus Icannot repeat exactly all that he said, for I was only listening withhalf an ear. But the substance of it all was this: I was to pose asthe friend of M. Fernand Rochez, and engage the attention of Mlle.Goldberg senior the while he paid his court to the lovely Leah. It wasnot a repellent task altogether, because M. Rochez's suggestion openeda vista of pleasant parties at open-air cafes, with foaming tankardsof beer, on warm afternoons the while the young people sipped siropsand fed on love. My newly found friend was pleased to admit that mypersonality and appearance would render my courtship of the elderlyduenna a comparatively easy one. She would soon, he declared, fall avictim to my charms.
After which the question of remuneration came in, and over this we didnot altogether agree. Ultimately I decided to accept an advance of twohundred francs and a new suit of clothes, which I at once declared wasindispensable under the circumstances, seeing that in my well-worncoat I might have the appearance of a fortune-hunter in the eyes ofthe suspicious old dame.
Within my mind I envisaged the possibility of touching M. Rochez for afurther two hundred francs if and when opportunity arose.
Castles in the Air Page 31
