Second Chance Mom

by EMILIE ROSE

  Shit. “Does Chastity know?”

  “No. And she can never find out.”

  “It was with Hope’s stuff in the box? Right? Then we’ll put it back in and—”

  “No. It was tied onto Hope’s wrist,” she repeated. “It wouldn’t come off without being cut. Chastity would know something was wrong.” She took the beads back and held them over the toilet. “Maybe she’ll never miss it.”

  He caught the strand halfway to the bowl. “You can’t flush it. I don’t claim to be an expert on teenage girls or grief, but I remember Pam yammering on and on about the bracelets and how much time Jess spent choosing the right Proverbs to fit the wearer. These were important to the girls.”

  “But I can’t lay that kind of guilt on Chastity. I’ve been on scene at too many teenage suicide attempts to risk it.”

  He couldn’t imagine the horrors Rachel had seen. “We’ll tell Chastity the paramedics had to cut it off Hope to start IVs. She had IVs when I identified her bod—when I identified her.” That was a sight he’d never forget.

  Rachel’s lips quivered. “I’m sorry...you had...to do...that. I didn’t know.”

  “The accident scene is a couple blocks from my house. I passed it on my way home.”

  “You live nearby?” Her eyes widened.

  She seemed bothered by the idea.

  “You passed my house the day you went running. Rachel, if Chastity and Jess chose each one of the verses on these beads because they described their mothers’ virtues, then it might be tough for Chastity to deal with now, but, later, fixing the bracelet could be therapy of sorts. It will help her remember how Hope lived. Not how she died.”

  Rachel fiddled with the strand, then met his gaze. “How do you always know what to say?”

  Did he? It didn’t seem like it. “I have a little more distance than you?”

  “You’d lie to protect Chastity?”

  Would he? “Does the officer have proof of what he told you? Did he put it in the police report?”

  She shook her head.

  “Then who’s to say our version is a lie?”

  Tears welled in her eyes, and one slid down her cheek. Nodding, she ducked her head. He brushed the moisture from her smooth skin, then he couldn’t resist any longer. He pulled her into his arms and held her. This was where she belonged.

  Being here this morning had reinforced the decision he’d already made. Rachel was strong for everyone else. She needed someone to be strong for her. And he was determined to be that man.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  “HAVE YOU EATEN?” Matt asked, jarring Rachel from the warmth of his chest.

  She pulled free despite an urge to linger. “No. I couldn’t. Not knowing I had this waiting.”

  And then because she wanted so badly to return to his embrace, she launched into action, bustling out of the bathroom. She returned the bracelet to the box and covered it with the other contents. She carried the container to the closet and shoved it onto the top shelf.

  Matt was right. Repairing the bracelet could be therapeutic. Even though he didn’t know he was Chastity’s father, he had her best interest at heart, and Rachel lov—liked him for that.

  He waited at the foot of Hope’s bed, watching her. She must look a wreck. While he, of course, looked good and smelled wonderful. Self-consciously, she smoothed her hands over her hair. “Thanks for stopping by.”

  “I’ll fix you something to eat.” He left the bedroom.

  She chased after him and caught up with him in the kitchen. “No need. I’ll eat. I promise.”

  “Yes. You will. After you shower.” He spoke firmly, then surveyed the contents of the refrigerator.

  “I’ll do that after you leave.”

  “Go. You smell like the lake.”

  Rachel stood her ground. “You can’t order me around like one of your players.”

  He straightened and piled the items he’d rummaged on the counter. “We’ve already established that you’re a stubborn woman who can’t accept help. I’m going to feed you, then take you to bed.”

  His blunt statement sent a cyclone of arousal swirling through her. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  His spine went rigid, then his cheeks darkened and his pupils expanded. “To rest, Rachel. The circles under your eyes suggest you didn’t sleep last night.” One side of his mouth hitched up in a lopsided grin that made her stomach flip-flop. “Although I’m not averse to giving you a sleep aid. You always went into a fifteen-minute coma after we made love.”

  Desire hit her like a speeding bus, knocking the air from her lungs. It didn’t help that she could see the memory and hunger reflected in his eyes.

  Struggling for sanity, she pointed at the cell phone charging on the counter. “Chastity slept with me after that woman returned Hope’s phone last night. She’s the housekeeper for one of Hope’s clients...probably the last one Hope visited that day.”

  “Chastity was upset?”

  She nodded and reached for the device. “The battery was completely dead last night, but it’s been charging since she plugged it in first thing this morning.”

  Rachel touched the button to turn it on, then slid her finger across the screen. Hope, who’d been too trusting, didn’t have a pass code. The phone icon appeared, indicating six messages. She tapped it. Four of the messages came from Hope’s home phone number. Knowing she’d regret it, she hit Play, then Speaker because the idea of pressing something that had touched Hope’s cheek to hers was more than she could handle.

  Chastity’s petulant voice filled the room, demanding to know where her mother was and when she’d be home. In the second message Chastity whined about being hungry and Hope being late. In the third worry tinged the irritation as Chastity again demanded Hope’s arrival time, and in the fourth Rachel heard Chastity’s fear and panic, and it crushed her.

  Matt took the phone and deleted the messages before she could stop him, then he turned off the device. “Neither of you needs to listen to those again.”

  He was probably right.

  “Go, take your shower.” He turned back to the stove, effectively dismissing her.

  She debated arguing and telling him he wasn’t the boss of her, but she didn’t have the energy. Shoulders dropping with fatigue and resignation, she did as he ordered. When she returned fifteen minutes later, a familiar combination of aromas filled the air. Her stomach growled loud enough for Matt to hear it and turn.

  His inspecting gaze slid over her as slow and thorough as a caress, then he silently pointed at the table. The moment she sat, he placed a plate containing a grilled ham and cheese sandwich, a peeled and sectioned orange, and a glass of iced tea in front of her, then took the opposite chair. “It’s not gourmet, but it’s filling.”

  “Thanks.” She took a bite of the sandwich and chewed, enjoying the buttery, gooey goodness. She didn’t know what to say after her embarrassing meltdown, so she ate instead. He waited silently until she finished and pushed her plate away.

  “You have people here who care about you, Rachel. I care. My whole family does. Let us help you through this.”

  He was going to break her heart again if he kept being so nice. “Are you planning to run for mayor when your father retires?”

  Surprise set him back in his seat. “Probably. Why?”

  “Then I’m bad news, Matt.” She’d have to be honest. “I was seventeen when we had our affair. And you were four years older. In some states that’s illegal. If that got out, it would kill your election chances.”

  He frowned. “You told me you were eighteen.”

  “I lied. I lied about a lot of things back then. I was not a good person.” He had no idea how bad she’d been.

  “It’s history.”

  “History will make y
ou or break you.” A fact she knew all too well. She carried her plate to the sink, then turned and leaned against the counter. Time to lay her cards on the table.

  “I’m not denying that I’m still attracted to you. I am. We both know you could have had me at the lake. But even without my history, we have too much against us to make a relationship work. Chastity can’t stand the idea of us together. And I won’t do anything to upset her. She’s been through too much already.”

  “I’ll talk to her.”

  She shook her head. “There’s no point. Besides, I won’t quit my job. It took me years to find a place that feels like home.”

  Throughout her crazy vagabond life, Atlanta was the first place that felt like home. It wasn’t the city or her apartment. It was her coworkers who felt like her real family. The one thing she’d always longed for while growing up—a caring family—was finally hers. She wouldn’t throw it all away.

  He crossed the kitchen with athletic grace, lifted a hand and cupped her jaw. Her breath hitched. The gentle rasp of his thumb against her mouth affected her deep in her womb. “That doesn’t mean I won’t try to change your mind. Yes, we have issues to work out, but I’ve never met a woman who makes me feel the way you do, Rachel. You’re strong and smart and sexy, and I want you in my life.”

  “But—” A butterfly brush of his lips against hers stanched her protest and knocked her off balance. Matt pulled her flush against him. Against his heat. Against his firm muscles. Against his even harder arousal. His hands slid beneath her shirt, caressing her waist, then her back.

  She should push him away. But she couldn’t. Instead, she tasted his tongue, relished the strength in his hold and poured every ounce of passion she had into the kiss. When her head started spinning, she tore her mouth free to gasp for air and planted her hands on his chest, determined to do the right thing and send him home.

  But his heart pounded against her palm, and his eyes melted her objections. Matt made her feel alive in ways she hadn’t in a very long time, and she wasn’t strong enough to fight the desire consuming her.

  “If we do this, Matt...it’s only for now. I will leave. As soon as cheerleading camp is over, Chastity and I will be gone. You have to accept that.”

  Hunger burned in his blue eyes. “You think a few weeks will be enough?”

  No. Never. “It will have to be.”

  “We’ll see.” Then he swept her into his arms and carried her to her bedroom where he set her on her feet beside the bed and kissed her until her toes curled. He severed the embrace by tugging her shirt over her head, then traced the edge of her bra with one slightly abrasive fingertip. Her nipples tightened. He skimmed his palms over her hips, easing her pants down to her ankles.

  She kicked them aside, then nervously stood before him in her panties and bra. She didn’t think there were any obvious signs of her pregnancy other than a curve to her tummy and hips that she hadn’t had before.

  “You’re more beautiful than you were then.”

  His gravelly voice and hungry eyes made her heart ache. She could not fall in love with him again, but she felt herself teetering on the brink. She pushed the feeling aside. “You’re overdressed, Coach.”

  He stripped to his boxers in record time. The stretchy fabric tented over his erection. She wanted him so badly she couldn’t wait and quickly shed her bra. The second she did he touched her flesh with his hot hands. She leaned into him, feeling the pull deep inside with each buffing pass of his thumbs. Then the wet heat of his mouth replaced his dry hands. A needy whimper escaped her lips.

  She dug her fingers into his hair and held him while he suckled. Restless and on edge, she shifted her legs, trying to ease the building ache to no avail. He delved beneath the elastic of her panties, and finding moisture, he caressed her with breath-stealing accuracy, relentlessly pushing her toward a fast climax. She wanted to savor it, to come with him.

  “Wait,” she cried a moment too late. Wave after wave pounded through her. He barely gave her time to catch her breath before urging her toward release again. But she’d spent too many nights remembering his lovemaking, and she was eager to have him inside her. She covered him, caressed him through the cotton, then freed him. He pulled free but only to kick his underwear aside. She dispensed with hers, and while she wanted to take her time and explore the broader planes of his chest, the indentions at his hips, impatience won out. She wrapped her hand around him. He was hard and hot, and his tip was slick. She needed him inside her so badly she—

  “Hold on, honey.” He bent and retrieved something from his pants’ pocket. It took her a moment to recognize the condom. She wouldn’t get pregnant. She’d made sure of that years ago by getting an IUD. But she didn’t stop him as he rolled it on. Protecting herself from other things was important—especially now that she had Chastity to worry about. The thought sobered her briefly, then he cupped her bottom and lifted her, his biceps bulging.

  “Wrap your legs around me, Rachel, like you did at the lake,” he ordered in a low, throaty growl that shook her to the core.

  She did, grasping his shoulders, then he lifted higher and lowered her, his penis sliding home and filling her in a familiar way. He tumbled her back onto the narrow bed, and his passion-darkened eyes met hers.

  “Do you know how many times I regretted never getting you into a bed?”

  He’d thought of her? A warm glow suffused her.

  “Me, too.” He felt so good inside her, filling her. Over and over he plunged and withdrew. She buried her face in his neck and inhaled his scent. Greedy to relearn him, she mapped his waist, his spine, his buttocks, pulling and pushing herself against him until he hit just the right spot at just the right angle. The tension of her approaching orgasm spiraled tighter with every thrust, then it burst into a sprinkle of tingles that danced across her skin and traveled all the way to her toes. She muffled her cry against his neck and squeezed her internal muscles, trying to hold him and make the sensation last, but her involuntary contractions pulled him over the edge right behind her.

  He bucked and groaned, then braced himself above her. Gasping for air, he eased down until his forehead rested against hers. “Am I ever going to be able to take my time with you?”

  The smile in his eyes and voice filled her with joy. It had always been that crazy-fast with them. Even when they slowed it down, her releases always came faster and harder with him than any other time. Why were they such a volatile combination?

  Then her smile fell. Because she knew.

  It was because she still loved him.

  And she still couldn’t have him.

  Her flight response hit her with a bolus of adrenaline. She wanted to scramble from under him and escape before he read her feelings on her face.

  But she couldn’t run without him asking questions. She had to get him to leave. How? Should she feign one of the postcoital comas he’d mentioned earlier? No. That was the coward’s way.

  He stretched out beside her, pulling her into his arms and fusing her to the heat of his body. He nuzzled the top of her head, kissed her temple. “I apologize for going off like a rocket. It’s been a while.”

  She didn’t want to know. Nor would she tell Matt how long it had been for her. The last man she’d allowed herself to become intimate with had been a cardiothoracic surgical resident she’d believed was as focused on his career as she was on hers until he’d dropped the I-want-a-big-family-and-need-to-get-started bomb on her. Her rapid retreat had been three years ago.

  Matt brushed back her hair, his expression and touch tender. “Next time—”

  There couldn’t be a next time.

  “You have to go.” She hustled around, scooping up her clothes and clutching them to her front like a shield.

  He remained horizontal, his head propped on an elbow and looking sexier than sin. “Chastity won’t be home
for hours. You always liked round two.”

  Yes. She had. And she wanted it now. Dear Lord, she was in trouble. Big trouble. “I have stuff to get done before then.”

  His eyes narrowed. “You’re remembering chores now?”

  She struggled to hide her rising panic. She had to get away from him to regroup. “Please, Matt. I need...to go to the store.”

  Looking skeptical, he rose and searched her face. The doubt in his eyes eviscerated her. “I’ll leave. But we need to talk. About us. Soon. I have to work tomorrow, but after school—”

  “Chastity will be here.”

  Frowning, he turned and strolled into the bathroom. She could not peel her eyes from the bunching and flexing of his gluteus maximus. The urge to map every bulge and indentation—

  Had to be denied. She pivoted and yanked on her clothes. How would she survive staying until after cheerleading camp without letting him know how badly she wanted him? Loved him.

  She couldn’t. She and Chastity would have to move as soon as they closed on the house, then Rachel would drive Chastity back for camp. That wasn’t breaking her promise.

  Matt returned and dressed slowly. “Rachel.” He waited until she met his gaze. “Don’t get tangled up in your head. This was not a mistake.”

  Yes, it was. Because leaving him again was going to hurt twice as much as last time. And last time had nearly destroyed her. “I can’t give you forever, Matt.”

  “The most important rule I tell my players is to never quit fighting for the win until the buzzer sounds.” Then he left.

  * * *

  “I DON’T WANT to go to Atlanta this weekend,” Chastity whined from the passenger seat Friday afternoon as Rachel steered the convertible onto I-85. “I want to go to the beach with the Weavers.”

  Pam’s impromptu invitation when she’d brought Chastity home from school had taken Rachel aback. Rachel knew without a doubt Matt was behind the invitation.